Chapter 22

When Miroku returned to Kagome, he found she was gone. He quickly called for her, hoping nothing had happened to her. "Kagome, are you still here?" Miroku called, as he looked into the kitchen area. Still there was no sign of her though, and there was no answer either. Miroku started to worry, and he quickly began looking for her.

Kagome however had returned to her apartment, when she heard InuYasha and Miroku arguing, she felt it would be best if she left. She waited in the bathroom till she heard Miroku call for her. Then once the area was clear Kagome ran to the door. Now she stood in front of her apartment door and hesitated to open it. 'Dare I go in, what if he's still alive and waiting for me to return?' A shiver went through her as she remembered how horrible it was. 'I haven't felt so scared since….since that horrible night, when I young during the fire.'

Kagome's hand shook as she placed her card in the slot. Her heart was pounding in her chest as if she just ran a mile in 10 minutes. Kagome swallowed hard and proceeded to go into her apartment. As the door slowly opened it revealed the mess from that night and in that moment it hit her. Tears soon began to fall as she fell to her knees and cried.

As he made his way to work, InuYasha felt something was wrong. With only a few more feet to work he instantly turned and went back to the apartment. His legs running as fast as they could go. There was something wrong and this feeling in his gut was making him uneasy. "I'm coming Kagome, I don't know why, but I feel your pain."

The scent of her tears hit his nose, followed by hearing her sobs. When he got to her apartment and saw the door open, he froze. Slowly he entered and found her. Her face was in her hands as she cried. It was when she started talking that InuYasha felt his heart truly break. "I'm so sorry InuYasha, I'm sorry I'm such a fool. You should have left the fire take me that night. Still I know it wouldn't have ended the curse. How I wish I could stop your suffering, to just end all this hell you have suffered through."

The more Kagome spoke the more it crushed him. She wasn't like the women before, she cared about him. She was actually crying for….him. In that moment InuYasha kneeled down and embraced her from behind. His breath was warm on her neck as he spoke. "Please Kagome, stop this. Stop blaming yourself for my past mistakes."

Kagome snuggled closer to his embrace, still her tears continued as he held her close. "Please stay with me." Kagome sobbed. "I don't want you to end your life, there's so much you haven't enjoyed. I want to have at least some time with just you." His grip tightened as she talked. "I've been out with Koga and Miroku, but the one I really want to be with is you. Please don't keep pushing me away."

InuYasha rested his chin on the top of her head, as he tried to think of how to respond to her words. "Damn it Kagome..." He softly said. "You weren't supposed to hear me talking to Miroku." InuYasha didn't know what to do now, he left his anger get the best of him. He never intended for Kagome to hear him.

With red eyes, Kagome looked up at InuYasha and said a bit angrily. "Well I did, and it hurts to know that you don't care about me. What is it about me that you hate so much? Who is it I remind you of that you despise so much? Is it that woman that cursed you?"

InuYasha felt his tension start to rise. Kagome had said the one thing that had been his greatest wound. He was gentle and careful as he moved away from her grasp. He needed to get away before he lost his temper, and hurt Kagome even more with words he would regret later. Still Kagome wanted answers and refused to back down. "ANSWER ME INUYASHA, NOW! TELL ME WHY?! Kagome yelled.

His voice was low and held a small growl. "I can't, so just leave it at that. There are some things you don't need to know."

Immediately after his words of needing to know, Kagome countered. "Just like how I didn't need to know about a jewel that was inside me? Or how it was because of this jewel and a curse on it and you, was the reason for the fire when I was a child. And also the reason my father died. But most of all that you were the monster in my dreams for so long. Telling me you'd protect me, and now I know the truth."

InuYasha slammed his fist into the nearby wall and yelled back angrily. "YOU DON'T KNOW A DAMN THING WENCH!" The look of shock and hurt in Kagome's eyes from his words made him lose his concentration. "So what if I am a monster to you, I swore I'd protect you and damn it I will!"

Kagome and InuYasha were quiet for a moment both letting their tempers cool. It was Kagome who spoke first. "You don't get it do you? You think after all we've been through I'd still think of you as a monster?" Kagome stood and slowly moved away from InuYasha, she was still facing him as she spoke. "I hardly ever slept and every time I tried, it was the same nightmare. It was when I moved here that I actually slept. And when I did I dreamt of...you. I was at the beach and you were with me." She swallowed hard as she continued. "It was a special time and you were touching me…"

InuYasha silenced her with a clawed finger. "Don't say it, I can't let myself love anyone again. If I let myself touch you, I know won't be able to stop I'll end up…" He froze, and refused to say the word.

"I get it." Kagome said miserable. "You don't want to let me in your heart. You're thinking of her, the one who you first loved you, but she cursed you. So basically you think we are all the same, and that I'll be a curse to you." Looking down at her folded hands in front of her, Kagome continued. "Well InuYasha, the way I see it is either way we are both cursed. You are cursed to loving me just as I am cursed to love you. I'm not her and if me wanting to love you is a curse, I'll gladly die happily as long as I'm in your arms."

InuYasha growled, it hurt so much to hear her words of love. He wanted her to hate him, to stay faraway from and above all never ever love him. Still it didn't work, he had failed. "Why, what is it you don't get, woman? ALL of this is because I thought I knew what love was and threw it all away. And now here you are, preaching about love thinking you love me. Keh, you're just as lost as I was about loving someone."

A voice came from behind Kagome as a bright light shined. InuYasha's eyes widened in pure shock. "No my son, she is not the one who is lost. You are the one who is lost, you have chosen to take the easy way out by using the death sutra. This is one thing I have always feared you'd try, sadly you are missing the true answer. The one that this woman is proposing to you. The jewel was made from hate and so it lives on through hate. Maybe it's time to stop hating and try loving."

InuYasha was silent, he had no words at this moment. It had been so many years since he saw his father, and why now had he come to him? The sound of Miroku's staff jingling could be heard as he took his place beside Toga. "I am sorry InuYasha, but I knew it was the only way to get you to understand. Kagome may be a descendent of Kikyo, the one who cursed you. Still she is the one who can also end the curse. Mostly likely the only one that will ever be born that can end the curse."

InuYasha looked towards Kagome, she looked so frightened and yet lost at the same time. With a bow towards his father and Miroku, InuYasha then went to Kagome and said nothing as he scooped her up in his arms and walked out onto the balcony. From there he jumped and landed safely on the ground below. With no one around he said. "We need someplace private to talk, Kagome."