Babe In Arms

by SilverkittenX9

Taking place 13 years before the cartoon, Beetlejuice meets baby Lydia after kidnapping her from her crib. With the help of his neighbors, Jacques and Ginger, he agrees to raise the baby under one condition: he has to learn to be a good friend. But what's a friend to do when he's forced to juggle the responsibilities of fatherhood with his overbearing neighbors? You decide!

9. It Will All Be Better

In the dying room, the neighbors were watching a weather forecast with sullen, dreary looks on their faces. Even the weather forecaster looked depressed as he announced what the weather was going to be like for the next few days.

"And it looks like the storm path is headed for Wormwood. Strong acid rain, thunder, and heavy wind will persist through this afternoon until tomorrow morning, so be sure to bring all your pets and children inside and don't leave metal objects lying around," the forecaster announced as he read a sheet of paper at his desk.

Listening to the forecaster's advice, Jacques got up from the couch to go check if he left any metal objects outside. He grabbed a heavy-duty umbrella and walked outside, all while keeping the sullen expression that seemed like it was permanently glued to his face. He was greeted with heavy wind, which caused the umbrella to fly out of his hand. As he helplessly watched the umbrella fly away, he sighed and stomped back into the roadhouse covered in yellow-green acid. He was darn lucky this time; clothes (specifically the ones made from polyester and cotton) were extremely vulnerable to the harsh conditions of acid rainstorms. For some reason, his usual gym attire didn't suffer a single scratch or dent. He might've planned ahead; he either applied a special anti-acid detergent to his clothes or wore a special outfit specifically designed to withstand acid. While a single monster may escape relatively unscathed from the clutches of the pittering raindrops, their clothes say otherwise. As the weather forecaster warned, citizens have to stay inside if they don't want their precious outfits to get ruined. The conditions were almost completely dangerous for Neitherworld citizens — god forbid if a human baby were to be exposed to acid rain. Neitherworld natural disasters can be an absolute pain in the arse sometimes.

"Did you find any forks?" asked Beetlejuice.

Jacques shook his head and sat down on the couch to continue watching the weather forecast.

"Although the rain is getting on our nerves, you can expect sunny weather for the next couple of days. Be sure to wear plenty of sunblock because a high of 120 degrees is also expected for the next couple of days. Hm, that should set a new record… a high of 120 degrees! That's right, you will be melting in the sun, so be sure to break out that sunblock and eat plenty of eye scream!" the weather forecaster rambled on.

"Typical Neitherworld weather… one day it's raining acid, and the next day it's 120 degrees!" ranted Beetlejuice.

"Be-atlejooze, you should be lucky zat we don't live in perpetually sub-zero weazere! Zere are a lot of zings that are worse zan a rainy day… like not being able to take Babe on her first picnic," Jacques let out a deep sigh and rested his skull on his hands.

All three of the neighbors grumbled and groaned, realizing that the rainy weather would keep them from taking Lydia outside again.

"Oh, I hate rainy days! There's nothing to do! There's nowhere to go! I need action, I need adventure, I need to punch!" complained Beetlejuice before swiping his fist at Ginger, who immediately dodged his attempt by instinct and began to sob.

Jacques glared at Beetlejuice for making Ginger cry. His eyes furrowed with scorn as he waited for Beetlejuice to apologize to the poor spider — no apology was made. Instead, Beetlejuice turned his head toward Ginger and opened his mouth to chastise her for acting like a baby.

"Stop zat!" commanded Jacques, causing Beetlejuice to close his mouth. "You should be ashamed of yourself! Yelling at your neighbor like zat?! Zat's lower zan ze belly of a bookworm!"

"Come on, Jacques! Ginger deserved it, anyway!" Beetlejuice confessed without showing any remorse.

"No, she didn't!" argued Jacques.

"Yes, she di-" Beetlejuice cut himself off to avoid creating an argument, remembering that he should refrain from fighting as much as possible — so far, that promise had already failed, counting the many times the neighbors had all fought over trivial things. "OK, I was upset that we couldn't take Babe outside, so I took my anger out on Ginger! Maybe if Babe was strong enough to venture outside in the rain, I wouldn't have tried to punch Ginger!"

"Still no excuse," answered Jacques, crossing his arms and shaking his skull. "Even eef ze baby was able to go outside in ze acid rain like us monsters, I still wouldn't allow her to go outside for her safety! You zee, Be-atlejooze, Babe izn't like us. She's a human, and humans have very delicate skin zat rot easily when exposed to acid. She just can't endure acid like us monsters! Y-you don't want to zee your daughter's flesh rotting off, don't you?"

Beetlejuice gulped a big wad of spit and worriedly glanced at Lydia, who was sitting on the floor playing with her toys. Lydia was happily babbling to herself while banging on a toy xylobone; she was blissfully unaware of the conflict that was going on with the neighbors.

"M-my Babe…" trembled Beetlejuice, worrying about Lydia potentially rotting away if he were to bring her outside. "Wait, how did you know that human skin can rot easily in acid rain?"

"Well, my maman and papa wanted me to learn about humans as much as possible, just in case I happen to venture out to ze Outerwerld one day! You zee, humans have different customs zan us monsters, so we learn how zey live in zeir hum-drum civilization. From what I've zeen in school and from what my maman and papa taught me, humans zeem so… ordinary! Zere are just no quirks about zem! Zey all zeem ze same to me! Like I said, eef I venture out to ze Outerworld, maybe my views will change! I surely hope zat zey change! I can hardly contain my excitement whenever I zink about ze Outerworld! And ever zince we've adopted ze baby, I have been wanting to learn more about ze boring humans and zeir world! Doesn't zat sound wonderful, Be-atlejooze?! Wiz little Babe around, we could finally trust ze government to let us bring more humans into ze Neezerwerld! Eizer we make babies from machines or ze stork can pick zem up from cabbage patches and deliver zem to loving families who deserve zem! Oui, a new species will be born!" Jacques rambled on like he was teaching a boring history lesson, with the tone in his voice gradually becoming happier when thinking about the Outerworld.

"Okay, what you said was a bunch of baloney! That 'lesson' you taught here doesn't make any lick of sense!" exclaimed Beetlejuice, transforming into a big tongue. "When we first met the baby, you were freaking out over her! How can you possibly know about humans if you couldn't even handle a human baby!"

"To be frank, Be-atlejooze, I honestly don't know," answered Jacques. "Perhaps I drank too much booze…"

"No, you didn't! Remember the humans and monsters myth?! You said that monsters disintegrated to dust if they were to ever touch a human!" argued Beetlejuice.

"Zat iz true! Like I said, my maman and papa still believe in ze old myth, and I was expected to understand their views on ze werld! What else am I supposed to do wiz strict parents like zem?!"

Beetlejuice shrugged his shoulders, "Guess you could cut off all contact with them… that's what I did with my parents."

Jacques rolled his eyes and let out another deep sigh, clearly agitated by Beetlejuice's snarky attitude.

"I do not want to continue zis argument, so what would you like to do to pass ze time? Should we watch TV, build a fort, exercise, play a board-"

Beetlejuice interrupted Jacques' offer, "I call playing board games!"

"Board games don't sound bad! I'm in!" agreed Ginger as he raised her hand.

Before Ginger could utter a single word, Beetlejuice abruptly pinched her lips shut. Why did he do that? Oh, he was afraid that she was going to pick something he didn't like. Knowing Beetlejuice and his pigheaded tendencies, it was always his way or the highway.

"Don't you think about picking Candy Country! That game's for babies and sissies!" hissed Beetlejuice, keeping his forceful pinch strong on Ginger's lips. "Instead, we're gonna play a true man's game: The Game Of Afterlife!"

Growing tired of Beetlejuice preventing her from speaking her mind, Ginger defended herself by chomping down on his hand.

"YOWCH!" Beetlejuice yelped, clutching his hand in pain.

"You know, I wasn't even going to pick Candy Country anyway!" retorted Ginger.

"Says who?! You always pick Candy Country whenever we have game night!" Beetlejuice argued.

"Hey, it isn't even nighttime! Why do you always have to assume I'm always cutesie?! I have spunk, you know!" Ginger scolded, firmly paving a way for a heated argument.

As the argument roared on, Jacques frowned and rested his skull in his hands, pondering to himself why he had to live with a couple of dysfunctional monsters — here in BJ's Roadhouse, arguments and fights would happen over every little thing, every single day. This was what happened when a deranged ghost, a skeleton, and a spider moved in together to raise a human baby. This was the result of the three agreeing to live in close proximity to each other like siblings, housemates, and roommates — coparents, really. Unlike Ginger (who had promised many times to not argue, yet she did it anyway), Jacques was genuine about being careful around Lydia. He had always been a composed skeleton compared to the overly-emotional spider that was Ginger.

As Jacques took some deep breaths, Lydia suddenly entered his mind — the thought of Lydia potentially being exposed to hostile behavior greatly frightened him, causing him to snap out of his brief crisis. While Beetlejuice and Ginger continued arguing, Jacques made the ultimate decision to go check on Lydia, who was happily playing with her toys on the floor.

"How are you doing, Babe?" Jacques asked as he walked over to Lydia's play area beside the couch and kneeled down to her level.

Lydia stopped banging on her toy xylobone and stared up at Jacques for a few seconds. She then went back to happily banging on her toy xylobone while babbling.

After checking on Lydia to see if she was okay, Jacques reverted his attention back at the argument and glared at Beetlejuice and Ginger. He took another deep breath, preparing to scold them for their childish behavior. When it came to the straight men of the roadhouse, Jacques and Ginger would constantly take turns earning the title, depending on their mood and the time of day. It was rather inconsistent, but that was how the roadhouse worked — no exceptions.

"Hey, hey, hey! Stop zat racket! You're disturbing Babe!" Jacques commanded in a stern tone like a father.

As always, Beetlejuice and Ginger stopped arguing and turned their heads toward Jacques, who was glaring at them strongly.

"Zince you two can't pick a game in an age-appropriate manner, I'm going to ask which game we should vote on!" declared Jacques. "Would you like to play Ze Game Of Afterlife, Candy Country, Blister, or Money Monster?"

Beetlejuice and Ginger carefully thought through their decisions. One wrong move and one monster would end up playing a game they didn't like. And when they would play the game they didn't like, they couldn't complain or whine about it — they had to accept it like a champ.

"Uhhh… Money Monster!" Beetlejuice and Ginger exclaimed, raising their hands.

"Well zen, Money Monster eet is!" declared Jacques.

Jacques got up from the floor and grabbed the Money Monster board game from the bookshelf mounted beside the front door.

"Hooray!" Beetlejuice and Ginger cheered before helping Jacques clear the coffin table for the board game to sit on.

After clearing all unnecessary junk off of the coffin table, Jacques was able to set the board game down. Since they weren't lazy for the most part (some of the time, actually), Beetlejuice and Ginger helped Jacques set up the Monster Monster board game. They organized the fake money, lined the game pieces in a single-file row, and placed the dice right in the middle of the board.

"Ha, ha! It's shoetime!" Beetlejuice laughed as he picked up a shoe game piece and waved it in Jacques's face.

Jacques glared at Beetlejuice and pushed the game piece away from his face. Noticing that Jacques wasn't happy with his antics, Beetlejuice sheepishly placed the game piece back where it belonged. Before anything else could happen, the neighbors began to impatiently call dibs on what piece they were going to play as.

"I call being the top hat!" declared Beetlejuice, swiping a top hat piece from the middle of the game board.

"I wanna be the shoe!" shouted Ginger, swiping the shoe piece from the middle of the game board.

"Eh, I guess I'll be ze barbell," sighed Jacques as he picked up a barbell piece from the middle of the game board.

Beetlejuice snickered, "You should've picked the dog! That's because you always get mauled by them whenever you go out to run!"

Not being able to control his laughter any longer, Beetlejuice belched out a series of obnoxious cackles while pointing his finger at Jacques. It wasn't long before Ginger joined Beetlejuice's playful taunting toward the poor skeleton. Jacques had never felt humiliated in his entire afterlife — he had been tripped, mauled by dogs, and even pantsed on multiple occasions, yet he always managed to pull through. Strangely enough, a simple act of teasing was enough to make him blush. He hid his face with his beret, trying not to let Beetlejuice and Ginger push him to his limit.

"Please stop laughing at me! I zought we were supposed to help each ozere out! Why are you laughing at me?! Is eet because I happened to choose a game piece you didn't like?!" cried Jacques, lowering his beret below his eye holes meekly.

"What?! It's the truth! You always get eaten by dogs!" Beetlejuice admitted before bursting into laughter.

As Beetlejuice continued to laugh at him, Jacques finally decided he had enough of the humiliation he had been subjected to. He glared strongly at the ghost to remind him that he wasn't a pushover. The glare was so strong and intimidating, Beetlejuice stopped laughing and sheepishly grabbed the rule sheet.

"Okay, so we all know how Money Monster works: the player with the most property wins, and the player who loses all of their money is out of the game!" Beetlejuice declared, shooting an eye at Ginger, who smiled nervously.

After making sure that Jacques and Ginger were paying attention, Beetlejuice cleared his throat and began to read the rules of the game.

"The rules of Money Monster are fairly simple: you roll the dice, you land your piece on a property, then you buy the property! Yeah, it's so simple, even a baby can play it!" Beetlejuice stated in a faux British accent before turning his head toward Lydia, who was still playing with her toys on the floor.

Beetlejuice gazed lovingly at Lydia before snapping himself out of the trance.

"Anyway, since I'm reading the rules, I have to make the rules up!" declared Beetlejuice. "First, whoever lands in jail has to stay in jail for the rest of the game! Second, whenever I land on a cheap property, I have to trade with the player who has the better property! And finally, the banker gets to keep all the money to himself!"

Beetlejuice chuckled before hoarding all of the fake money like a gorilla hoarding his banana stash. Since this was their neighbor who was disrespecting them, Jacques and Ginger showed their disgust by protesting their opinions.

"Hey, that's not fair! You're just trying to make yourself look high and mighty, aren't you?!" chastised Ginger.

"Oui, eet iz totally okay to make up your own rules for Money Monster, just don't make the rules to benefit yourself! Zink about ze ozeres playing ze game wiz you! Zis izn't a one-player game, Be-atlejooze!" scolded Jacques.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Jawk! Am I offending you?! Go take your cheese and move somewhere else, surrender monkey!" Beetlejuice snarked condescendingly.

Jacques grew furious in reaction to Beetlejuice's mean comment. He clenched his already visible teeth and furrowed his eye holes while inching his face closer to the ghost.

"Split ze money right zis instant or I'll be packing my stuff!" Jacques threatened as he tapped his finger on Beetlejuice's chest with emphasis. "You'll be on your own wiz Babe very soon."

"Yeah, Beetlejuice… split the money," Ginger crossed her arms and glared at Beetlejuice.

Beetlejuice stared blankly at the intimidating faces Jacques and Ginger were shooting him — the faces weren't pretty, to say the least. Without any more prodding, Beetlejuice finally realized that he was going to be screwed if he refused to play nicely with his neighbors. It was admittedly unusual for him to realize his errors quickly, but it most likely chalked up to the fear of being stuck with the responsibility of caring for Lydia if his neighbors were to desert him. While continuing to stare into their eyes, Beetlejuice let out a submissive, yet genuine sigh.

"Yeah, yeah, here's your money," Beetlejuice grumbled as he handed Jacques and Ginger 5 fake $100 bills.

Jacques and Ginger flashed smiles at Beetlejuice as he grumbled and buried his head in his hands. Although Beetlejuice was greatly disappointed about having to give three-quarters of the money away, he had to accept that it was part of the rules. Rules weren't Beetlejuice's best friend, to say the least.

Jacques kickstarted the game by rolling the two dice. Though he did roll the dice longer than expected (approximately 40 seconds), he still managed to earn a perfect number of 6. He snickered happily before moving his piece around the game board 6 times until it landed on the Income Tax space. After he placed his piece on the space, he read the small text that required him to pay $100 to the banker. The banker in question was the B-guy himself; Beetlejuice. He had to give some of his money up (as unfortunate as it was), but Jacques still showed optimism in achieving victory and he smiled modestly at Beetlejuice.

"Here's ze money!" Jacques chirped as he handed his $100 bill to Beetlejuice, who rewarded him with a live beetle in exchange.

Jacques gasped at the surprise in his hand. He rapidly switched between staring at Beetlejuice and the insect in his hand with a blank look on his face. The fear worsened when the beetle clamped its tiny mandibles around his index finger.

"WAUGH!" Jacques shrieked as he tossed the beetle aside. "Be-atlejooze, you were supposed to pay me back! Where's my rent card?!"

"Rent card?! You don't need a rent card-" Beetlejuice cut himself off, realizing the cold look on his neighbor's face that was telling him to hand him what he needed right this instant. "Oh, alright! Here you go!"

Beetlejuice handed a rent card to Jacques. Once that job was taken care of, it was Beetlejuice's turn to roll the dice. He was so eager to be the richest slob in the Neitherworld, he did not hesitate to snatch the dice off of the board game like a greedy pig. He rolled the dice long and fast, making sure that he got the perfect number. A sleazy smile grew big and wide as he continued to roll the dice. After 30 seconds of anticipation, he finally tossed the dice onto the game board. Surprisingly enough, the dice each had two skulls, which meant Beetlejuice had to move his piece 4 times. Of course, he wanted the highest number possible, so he threw a hissy fit about it — his heart literally sank to the bottom of his chest and his eyes began to resemble an ocean as they welled up with tears.

"NO, NO, NO!" Beetlejuice cried, raising his fists in the air. "I have to move 4 times?! That's not fair!"

Beetlejuice abruptly went from melodramatics to nonchalance within a matter of seconds.

"Welp, guess I'll have to find out where I land," he stated before moving his piece around the game board only for him to land on an Income Tax space.

Distraught that he didn't immediately land on the home space as he hoped, Beetlejuice's mouth fell to the floor.

"WHAT?! I HAVE TO PAY $200 DOLLARS?! NO! I CAN'T GIVE MY MONEY AWAY! I JUST CAN'T! I CAN'T, I CAN'T, I CAN'T!" Beetlejuice cried, pounding his fists on the game board in pure rage.

"Be-atlejooze," Jacques said, placing his hand on Beetlejuice's head in reassurance. "Eet's only a game! You aren't actually rich, you're just playing as a rich person! Ze rules require you to give all fellow players a dollar whenever zey land on an Income Tax space."

"And the players who land on the Income Tax space get a rent card! Rent cards are a good thing, buddy! They mean that…" Ginger paused her sentence to scan the rules on the rule sheet. "Oh, I'm sorry! You have to pay rent every time you pass that space from now on!"

Beetlejuice's frown grew bigger at the thought of having to pay rent.

"Augh! This game doesn't make sense! I'm the banker, why do I still have to pay you ding-dongs my money because of a stupid space?! The banker should never spend his money, he shall be invincible from all the pesky Income Tax spaces!" Beetlejuice ranted as he hoarded his money away from Jacques and Ginger. "And come to think of it, why didn't you pay Ginger your money when you landed on the space?!"

"Ginger never had her first turn yet," answered Jacques. "Once eet's her turn, she'll have to pay us her money."

"Can we play something else?! This is too much for my heart!" Beetlejuice whined, transforming into an elderly man clutching his chest.

Jacques and Ginger groaned annoyedly as they watched Beetlejuice fake a heart attack. Living with a petulant ghost must be difficult, huh? At this point, they were contemplating on moving back into their apartments to avoid having to deal with the ghost's antics. He was one of the most reviled monsters of the Netherworld, after all.

"JUST HAND US THE MONEY ALREADY!" Jacques and Ginger angrily demanded, clearly exhausted from Beetlejuice using them as a doormat — to be frank, they all have used each other as doormats, especially when it came to Lydia.

Beetlejuice growled and snarled like a feral dog as he handed Jacques and Ginger two of his $100 bills.

"Now, it's my turn!" Ginger declared before rolling the dice.

Ginger scored lucky; she had earned an impressive number of 12. Considering that a score of 12 skulls was rare in a board game, Ginger was understandably excited. She cheered loudly as she moved her piece around the game board. The excitement grew bigger when she landed on the Eeletric Company space. This was the Neitherworld, so of course there was a pun. If there was one thing to know about the Neitherworld, it was that everything was either spooky as Halloween or cheesy as a 1980s horror flick.

"Yippee! I've landed on the Eeletric Company space! I'm so happy!" Ginger cheered.

Ginger handed Beetlejuice a couple of $100 bills. Hoping to earn at least a rent card, she was instead met with an electrifying handshake, which caused her to shake and sizzle in the air while trying to spare her life. She ended up with a black ash face and no rent card.

"What?! It's called the Eelectric Company," Beetlejuice chuckled before transforming into an eel. "Shock therapy, you know I love it!"

"Burnt toast, you know I love it," Ginger snarked before shaking the ash off her face like a dog shaking water off after its bath. "Beetlejuice, you were supposed to hand me a rent card! What's with you and your pranks?!"

Beetlejuice laughed uproariously at Ginger; he didn't show any remorse for electrocuting her.

"Ginge, you don't understand! It's all part of the rules!" chuckled Beetlejuice as he showed Ginger the rule sheet, which had the old rules scribbled out and replaced with new, phony rules — every rule centered around lending Beetlejuice money every time Jacques and Ginger would land on a space.

Ginger understandably found this new rule sheet unfair and shot Beetlejuice a dirty look to teach him a lesson.

"I'm not even going to ask," Ginger grumbled as she crumpled the rule sheet into a paper ball and tossed it aside.

The paper ball had somehow landed near Lydia's play space. Lydia was already growing bored and upset since she wasn't big enough to join the neighbors in their board game festival — fortunately, the paper ball was enough to entertain her for a while. As Lydia batted and swatted at the paper ball like a kitten playing with yarn, it was Jacques' turn to roll the dice. Can you guess what number he rolled? If you guessed 2, nope! He rolled a modest number of 4 skulls, which wasn't too bad for a second turn.

"Rancid Road? Oh, zat's not too bad!" grinned Jacques as he landed his piece on a vacant space.

Jacques handed Beetlejuice $100 in exchange for a rent card. Similar to Ginger's misfortune from earlier, he ended up being met with a scary face instead.

"EEK!" screamed Jacques as he raised his arms in the air, causing all the money surrounding him to scatter about from the quick movement of his arms.

Beetlejuice cackled for the umpteenth time and snatched the dice off of the game board — it was now his time to shine. He prayed and prayed for that dice roll to be successful and we wouldn't let go until he made sure that the number would be high. Surely enough, the number was high; he managed to score a whopping 9 skulls.

"YES! 9 SKULLS! OH, SOMEBODY PINCH ME, I MUST BE DREAMING!" Beetlejuice cheered before a random hand pinched him in the buttock. "OUCH! NOT LITERALLY!"

Once he shooed the random hand away, he eagerly moved his piece around the board. Unlike Jacques' piece (which moved at a slow, easygoing pace), his piece hopped around like a bubbly schoolgirl. His big smile would quickly turn into a big frown when he found out that he was nearing the Slammer Time space. He prayed and prayed for his piece not to land on that space; to him, that space seemed worse than Sandwormland. Unfortunately for him, he still had to land on Slammer Time no matter how much he prayed.

"OH, NO! NOT SLAMMER TIME!" wailed Beetlejuice. "PLEASE, I DON'T WANNA GO TO JAIL! I'VE BEEN IN JAIL WAY TOO MANY TIMES! JUST PLEASE PUT ME OUT OF MY MISERY!"

"Calm down, doofus! Eet's only a game! You're not actually going to jail, eet's just time out!" Jacques reassured exasperatedly.

"Get a hold of yourself, you're acting like a bigger baby than Babe!" chastised Ginger.

"NO, I'M NOT! YOU GUYS ARE ACTING LIKE BABIES, I WASN'T DOING ANYTHING!" Beetlejuice bawled his eyes out like a toddler throwing a tantrum.

"Yes, you were!" Jacques and Ginger scolded.

"NUH-UH!" Beetlejuice whined, shaking his head.

"Beetlejuice, think about it for a second; you're throwing a temper tantrum over a piece of cardboard. Yeah, a piece of flimsy cardboard with little plastic pieces and paper money! Kinda reminds you of a kids' toy, doesn't it?" Ginger lectured Beetlejuice as he became progressively angrier by the minute.

Beetlejuice had reached his limit; his face reddened like a thermometer, his fists were balled, and a volcano formed on top of his head and exploded with anger and fury.

"THAT'S IT! YOU GUYS ARE GOING IN THE SLAMMER! I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS STUPID GAME!" Beetlejuice roared before moving Jacques and Ginger's pieces onto the Slammer Time space.

After he unfairly moved Jacques and Ginger's pieces to the Slammer Time space, he zapped his finger at them, which caused them to become stuck in small cages. At this point, Jacques and Ginger were becoming sick of Beetlejuice's rotten behavior — even Lydia was rolling her eyes at Beetlejuice's tantrum over a board game.

"Be-atlejooze, free us from zose cages right now!" Jacques demanded, struggling to straighten his legs as a result of being cramped in an absurdly small cage.

"If you don't free us, we won't play with you anymore!" added Ginger.

"NEVER! YOU'RE BOTH STAYING IN THESE CAGES FOR THE REST OF YOUR AFTERLIVES!" Beetlejuice cursed. "NOW I JUST GOTTA TRAP THE MONSTER ACROSS THE STREET AND HIS RAT DOG! WITHOUT YOU NEIGHBORS, I'LL BE GOLDEN! FREE FROM PESTERING AND WARM HUGS!"

Jacques and Ginger were at their breaking point with Beetlejuice — for real this time. They had been trying to tolerate his antics for the past day, but he proved to be more of a nuisance than they had hoped. As stated many times, whenever the trio came together, chaos was bound to happen at any given moment. Having enough of Beetlejuice's antics, they struggled to escape the cages to defy him — it was as if they were princesses trapped in a giant turtle's lair.

"Get us out, now!" Jacques and Ginger demanded as they tried to break free from the cages.

Beetlejuice "Nope! Not until you say the pass-"

"NOW!" Jacques and Ginger interjected.

"Ok, ok! I'll let you go! Just give me a second!" Beetlejuice exasperated before cracking his knuckles and zapping the cages into ashes.

Once they were freed from the cages, Jacques and Ginger stretched their limbs and sighed with relief; they were happy to finally be free from those cages. To be honest, those cages were meant for small animals, not fully-grown monsters — the exception was Ginger, since she was a spider.

Be-atlejooze, what do you have to zey for yourself?" Jacques politely scolded, crossing his arms.

"Sorry," mumbled Beetlejuice.

"We accept your apology! Now, let's get back to the game, shall we?" declared Ginger.

And so, Everything was all sunshine and rainbows — for now. Jacques and Ginger sat down at the coffin table, slowly forgetting about the incident. Beetlejuice, on the other hand, still wanted to cause ruckus, but he knew that his neighbors wouldn't want to do anything with him if he kept his antics up. Instead of keeping Jacques and Ginger's pieces in the Slammer Time space, he simply placed them back where they belonged. Indeed, everything was peaceful — for roadhouse standards, at least. Lydia was the only one who wasn't peaceful at the moment; ever since the neighbors began playing their game, she gradually grew bored and frustrated. With the neighbors chatting away and chuckling, she was jealous of all the fun they were having. She was frustrated that she couldn't crawl over to them and join their game, and she had no crap for patience. Her toys suddenly weren't fun anymore; instead, it was the neighbors who were the toys. Her frown grew bigger as she watched the neighbors play their game; the bursting of her dam wasn't too far away. She chucked the toy xylobone across the room and immediately began crying her eyes out.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" bawled Lydia.

Lydia's cries alerted the neighbors, forcing them to halt their game. They turned their heads around to see Lydia crying with toys surrounding her. They became both worried and confused — why would Lydia be crying if she had all these cool toys? Would she grow up to be a spoiled brat who demanded all the latest things only to trash them because it wasn't to her liking? It was doubtful. Lydia was only a baby and she was crying for a reason — a reason that was unknown.

"Hey, hey! What's wrong, Babe? You want daddy?" asked Beetlejuice as he walked over to Lydia's play space.

Beetlejuice picked up a rattle and shook it in front of Lydia's face, hoping to distract her from crying. Unfortunately, the rattling made Lydia cry louder and harder. Beetlejuice frowned as he stared at the rattle in his hand; he was disappointed that one of Lydia's favorite toys failed to cheer her up.

"I know she doesn't have a dirty diaper!" stated Beetlejuice. "I literally just changed her when we got back from the park! Remember? She pooped herself after eating all that eye scream!"

"Actually, I was ze one who changed her," corrected Jacques. "You were outside trying to catch acid drops wiz your tongue!"

"No, I wasn't! You're just making up lies!" hissed Beetlejuice.

"You're lying, Be-atlejooze! You promised to get ze mail, but you were outside catching acid rain instead!" scolded Jacques.

"But I wasn't outside!" retorted Beetlejuice.

"Don't lie to me, monsieur! Tell me ze truth," ordered Jacques.

Beetlejuice sighed, "Alright, I was outside. There's no need to argue anymore."

Once the brief argument was settled, Beetlejuice picked Lydia up and pressed his head against her belly to check for rumbles. As he suspected, there were deep rumbles and growling in her belly.

"Hey, Jacques! Can you make a bottle for Babe? She's getting hungry!" Beetlejuice demanded as he gently rocked and bounced Lydia in his arms.

"I don't zink she's hungry… she can't be hungry!" disputed Jacques. "I know because right after I changed her diaper, she demanded that I make a bottle for her! And I did! She didn't even drink ze whole zing!"

"Well, one of the reasons why I think she's crying is because of the eye scream cone she tried to eat while we were at the park!" guessed Ginger, elevating herself with her web string so she could see Lydia up close and personal.

"Zat's a good guess, Ginger! Ze eye scream must've been too much for her stomach!" answered Jacques as he gently stroked Lydia's tuft of hair. "Zis iz why I vowed never to feed her solid foods until she's older!"

"Aww, I'm sorry that you have to go through this, sweetie! Shh, don't you cry, I'll cure that stomach ache once and for all!" soothed Beetlejuice as he continued to rock Lydia in his arms.

Beetlejuice carefully laid Lydia on the floor and began cycling her legs. He hoped that the method would somehow expel the pesky gasses from her body. Hoping that Lydia would calm down as a result of the supposedly soothing method, Beetlejuice was proven wrong. Instead of settling down, Lydia just kept on screaming and crying. This was arguably her worst crying fit yet — this was worse than the three separate crying fits from last night, this was even worse than the crying fit she had at the park, everything about this crying fit screamed terrible stomach ache. Because of the intense screaming and crying while he was cycling her legs, Beetlejuice assumed Lydia no longer trusted him, which caused him to go on an internal rampage. He prayed that Lydia wasn't crying because he was touching him — after all, he was the one who entertained her with scary faces at the beginning.

"Babe! You wanna see my new tap dance routine?! It goes like this!" Ginger made an attempt at soothing Lydia by performing a tap-dancing routine.

Considering that Beetlejuice's attempts failed to amuse her, Lydia did not appreciate anything Ginger was doing at the moment. She loved them dearly, but that darn stomach ache was giving her a hard time. The aching cramps, the loud rumbling, and the urge to vomit were all too much for poor Lydia. She understandably screamed at the highest decibel possible, begging the pain to stop. The screaming triggered a PTSD-like memory of last night for the neighbors; they were too mentally exhausted to remember it vividly, but it still made a huge impact on both their sleep and sanity. Jacques was especially affected by the memory of last night — he was the one who did most of the "hard work", while the other two would only pitch in to help when they desperately needed to. This was understandable for Ginger, considering that she was a spider who was too small to wrangle Lydia all the time. She was capable of holding and carrying the baby, but overprotective neighbors like Jacques were too afraid of something terrible happening. Speaking of terrible, it had already been clear that Lydia was suffering from the worst stomach ache of her life. It was up to Jacques to save her at this point — Beetlejuice and Ginger tried their best.

"You did well, my friends," Jacques complimented as he picked Lydia up. "Ze baby has been suffering, and now it iz my duty to soothe her."

Jacques laid Lydia chest-down over his right forearm and began to rhythmically pat her back. Lydia immediately transitioned from hysterical crying to soft whimpers in response to Jacques' gentle back patting. The skeleton added gentle humming to the concoction of soothing techniques, creating a bit of a haven for Lydia. She ultimately ceased her whining and attempted to pull her legs up to her chest — unfortunately, she couldn't do it since she was lying on her belly. She did find another way to relieve the stomach pain — letting a big rip. It was a pretty gross and stinky solution, but at least Lydia's stomach pain was close to gone. For assisting her in curing her stomach pain, Lydia awarded Jacques with some soft giggles and cuddles.

"Aww, someone's a daddy's girl!" squealed Ginger as she watched Lydia hug Jacques' forearm like it was a teddy bear.

Jacques smiled at Lydia as she cuddled with his arm. He began to feel like a boney teddy bear thanks to the many times Lydia would treat him like one. He slung Lydia over his clavicle and rubbed her back as she continued to giggle. The giggle fit didn't last long since Jacques' rhythmic back rubbing was gradually putting her to sleep. Beetlejuice couldn't have been any more jealous watching Lydia cuddle with Jacques. He glared at the skeleton with envious greed and lashed toward him without any warning whatsoever.

"GIMME MY DAUGHTER! SHE'S MY BABY AND YOU KNOW IT!" roared Beetlejuice as he snatched Lydia out of Jacques' arms, interrupting her brief moment of tranquility.

Startled by Beetlejuice's shouting and sudden moves, Lydia resumed bawling loudly. This time, it wasn't because of her stomach pain; it was because that jerk of a ghost startled the living daylights out of her. She reached her arms at Jacques while screaming and crying as loudly as she could.

"Babe! It's me, your daddy! You don't need to cry when you're around the ghost with the most! You're all fine!" Beetlejuice tried to calm Lydia to no avail.

When the simple act of reasoning didn't work, Beetlejuice decided to rub and pat her back while telling her cheesy jokes.

"Hey, why did the chicken cross the road?" asked Beetlejuice as he rubbed and patted Lydia's back. "He didn't! He got run over! Haw, haw, haw! You find that funny, Babe?!"

Lydia cried so loud, her mouth took up the majority of her face. Tears poured out of her eyes as she desperately begged Jacques to hold her. This was the moment when Beetlejuice felt like chopped liver; he frowned as the piercing cries traveled into his ears.

"Why don't you like me anymore?! I thought we had something in common! Please say that you still like me!" cried Beetlejuice, trying to fight the urge to join in with Lydia in her crying fit.

"Beetlejuice, she will always love you! You're one of her daddies, after all!" reassured Ginger, wrapping her arm around Beetlejuice's leg.

"Oui, she just wants someone to hold her right now," Jacques added as he scooped Lydia out of Beetlejuice's arms. "You zee, babies enjoy being held and sometimes zey prefer a specific person to hold zem! Zat specific person happens to be me!"

Lydia stopped crying to stare up at Jacques, who was still talking to Beetlejuice. Relieved that the ghost was no longer holding her, she snuggled against Jacques' ribs while cooing and gurgling.

"S-s-she's cooing! That means she likes you more! She didn't coo when she was in my arms! It's not fair! She's laughed at me many times in the past!" complained Beetlejuice.

"Babies are unpredictable creatures… you never know what zey want next," chuckled Jacques. "Now eef you excuse me, I'm gonna check eef Babe did an oopsie in her diaper!"

As Beetlejuice watched Jacques leave the room, he thought about zapping a puddle of icy water on the hallway floors — he wanted to see Jacques suffer from his pranks more than ever. Before he could point his finger toward the unsuspecting skeleton, Ginger pulled him aside to prevent such an incident from happening.

"Should we wait until Jacques is done changing her diaper?!" Ginger asked worriedly.

Beetlejuice stared at the empty hallway for a few seconds before turning toward Ginger.

"Nah, it's probably gonna take a while! Knowing how attached the baby is to him, it'll probably take forever!" grumbled Beetlejuice. "She's glued to him now!"

"Aw, oh well!" Ginger sighed. "How about we kill some time by playing tic-tac-toe?! Whaddaya say?!"

Beetlejuice quickly accepted, "Sure, Ginge!"

Without any hesitation or extra conflict, Beetlejuice swiped the paper ball off the floor and uncrumpled it. He then took off his shoe and grabbed a pencil to draw a 3 by 3 square column — with his feet, by the way. Ginger was a bit grossed out by this, but she tried not to mind since she regularly ate flies, which were just as gross as Beetlejuice's obsession with mold. She was an aspiring tap dancer, so she removed all 6 of her tap shoes and grabbed another pencil with one of her stick feet.

"I call being the X!" declared Ginger.

"And I'm gonna be the O!" Beetlejuice exclaimed before drawing a big "O" in one of the small columns with his feet.

Ginger giggled as she played the game with her neighbor. She may have fought with him on more than several occasions, but even after the direst of battles, she still forgave him no matter what. With Jacques caring for Lydia, they were temporarily free from the frustrating duties of parenthood. If anything, one of the reasons why things were always so tense in the roadhouse was because of Lydia — she was a precious human baby whose needs were just as big as everyone else's. Sometimes she could be easy as pie, and sometimes it was like dealing with a petulant grizzly bear cub. Not helping was Beetlejuice's tendency to act arrogant and cruel toward his neighbors, who had the patience of saints to tolerate a criminal like him. This was one of the rare moments where Beetlejuice was actually playing nicely with Ginger; usually, he would instigate an argument over choosing the "X" over the "O". Ignoring the hard acid rain and strong winds outside, it was looking to be a peaceful afternoon with Beetlejuice and Ginger getting along in harmony.