Chapter 4

What goes around

He couldn't breathe. He was running, trying to catch his breath. It was a maze and room by dark room, he couldn't find her. The maze grew bigger, her voice grew louder, calling out his name, but he just seemed to be getting more lost. He was running out of time, and he couldn't breathe. And there she was, in that grave in the ground, looking dead. Then he was in the ED, defibrillating someone. His father, he was resuscitating his father. Then it was Robin he was defibrillating. No no no no please. Robin please…

He was being shaken, but his mind was still muddled, back in that ED failing to resuscitate someone, his father, Robin. Someone had died in there.

"Asystole!"

"No!"

"Connor!"

"No"

"Connor baby wake up!" He was being shaken and it was becoming less dark.

"You're having a nightmare. Wake up Connor!"

And he was awake. He looked for that voice that belonged to her and found her. She was alive. She was here, she was his. He took a few needed heavy breaths.

"I'm here. It's ok, you were dreaming." Robin said, sitting up in bed to cuddle him. He hugged her back, making sure she really was there. His reality and nightmares sometimes got muddled. The pain in his chest eased as he relaxed. He wondered if he would ever get over this fear of losing her, if he would ever truly relax.

"You're ok. You're ok." She was soothing him.

He looked at her and all he wanted was to make love to his wife. Reassure himself she was here, she was here. And she surrendered in his arms with the same need, the same love he could always trust. She was here and she was his.

She fell asleep in his arms, exhausted, but he couldn't go back to sleep. He stayed awake just to watch her breathe, his hand on her belly feeling his baby kick. He still could not fathom how he had got it all back after almost losing it all. She had become his only plan from the first moment they met, he gave his all. He was all in. And he thought he had gave it all he got even during her illness and recovery. But he lost her still and he gave it up by not going after her. Instead he had tried to find some other way to live, a way to move on, and look how that had turned out. All the while he had been trying to cure himself of the best thing that had ever happened to him. He had given up on his only plan. Thank God he got another chance. She was his home, his heart, and thank God she loved him just as desperately

The morning came too soon, his alarm beeped, alerting him that it was time to get up and get to work. He had a scheduled surgery today and there were people he would rather avoid. He had not had that nightmare in a while. He had suspicions on what had triggered it. His assistant on this surgery today filled him with apprehension and brought back old scars. He wished he could stay here and hold his wife forever, but the morning had come and he had to get up. He placed a kiss on her forehead and closed his eyes, breathing her in one more time. He placed a kiss on her belly for his baby.

…

Connor had been working at Med for almost two weeks now and Ava had not seen him yet. She had had all these conferences to attend to, she was more absent than present for the last two weeks. On her part, she was avoiding him, but she knew he was clearly keeping his distance from her too. He had never apologized to her. Not when Robin was kidnapped and he accused her of somehow doing it, not when his father died and he accused her of giving him insulin causing his death, even though nothing had been proven. The insulin was untraceable, but somehow he accused her. She had been keeping tabs on him, she still loved him. She knew he was now married to Robin, that wasn't much of a shocker, Robin had always had his heart, everyone knew it. She didn't care about owning his heart, she cared about owning him, by whatever means. She was still obsessed with him, she had thought she will get over it when he moved away but now he was back and married. She knew he was married but when she glimpsed that ring on is finger now, it was jarring.

"Connor…hi." She greeted. "I heard you were back. It's surprising that I haven't made your acquiescence yet till now. Avoiding me?"

"Hi Ava, and why should I avoid you?"

He was cold, she could see. No apology coming just yet, he still suspected her then.

"Well, sooner or later we were bound to meet up. Same hospital. Hell, same department. You might have your own little thing going but still the same CT." She said

"Yeah." He said, dismissing her banter. "The surgery you're assisting me on has been moved up to late afternoon. I'm sure you have other…things to do in the meantime. So, see you then." He said and walked down the corridor, probably going to the ED. She just looked after him as he moved away, ice was still intact then.

…..

Connor had not thought it was going to be easy to see her again, but that was just awkward. He might even fear her a little. Fear the thought of her being near anyone he loved. He could never prove anything but he knew how harmful she could be. She had killed his father, which he knew without a doubt, but could never prove. Instead she had tried to make the police look at him as a suspect, thank God he had had an alibi. But just being flagged as a suspect in his own father's death was unsettling. And she got away with it. Went on with her life, while her father rot underground. She got away with arranging Robin's kidnapping too, he didn't know how, but he had seen a look. He could never forget that look, that manic look she gave him when she told him that she would do anything for him. Now he was supposed to pretend that he didn't know any of this and be friendly and professional. Well, professional he could be, but friendly he would pass.

…..

Later, scrubbing for the surgery, Connor looked up to see Ave coming in to scrub too.

"Hi." She said politely

"Hi." He answered just the same.

He saw her eyeing the ring on his finger as he scrubbed leaving it on. They scrubbed as they used to do when they were colleagues back when. Even lovers for a minute but it hadn't lasted long, had it?

"Not taking it off." She asked.

"Don't want to lose it. There are no rules against it in surgery. It won't affect anything." He replied

"Sure sure." She said. "Robin's a lucky gal."

It grated to hear her say Robin's name out loud. He ignored her, finished scrubbing and left the room.

Surgery went silently, with only hand me this or handle that going on. It was one of the most uncomfortable surgeries he had ever performed. The surgery was going well, but it was going to take long. He was going to finish late, he didn't think he was going to make dinner time at home. Suddenly he remembered something.

"Oh crap! I'm so dead." He cursed.

Everyone turned to attention at that. Thinking he might have made a mistake on the surgery.

"No, nothing for you to be alarmed about." He assured them. "It's just…. I've got a pregnant woman at home and…she craves things." He said as a way of explanation.

"Oh, you've got a baby on the way, Dr Rhodes?" said one of the nurses who apparently had not heard the news yet. "Congratulations doctor Rhodes, you finally got it right."

"Oh, she looks like a beautiful drum." Noah said, he was assisting too on the surgery. More like observing. "Yeah, she's so big she should be due any minute."

"Just a few weeks to go." Connor corrected. "And she likes these Hawaiian malasadas that I can only get from Kioni's. Now, I'm sure he's already closed."

Conversation was flowing naturally now as they talked about him and his pregnant wife, teasing and joking. Ava was unusually quiet. Until now.

"Why can't she get them herself? She must know you're in surgery. Being pregnant does not exactly mean invalid." It was biting and like a cold bucket of water on the whole casual banter.

"Yeah well, I was kinda planning something special for her. She's still going to work." Connor said, keeping his cool. "But I had promised her. I would like very much to keep my promises to my wife." Maybe he had said that to needle her, and that didn't exactly help the situation.

"Hey, I can step outside for a minute and call Kioni, ask him to deliver them to your house." Noah said, filling the awkward silence that had ensured. "I'm sure he wouldn't mind. And if it's supposed to be a surprise, I'll tell him to keep it under wraps."

Noah had always been a good sport and Connor had been happily surprised that he had taken on Cardio Thoracic fellowship under Crocket. He was a good doctor, and he was proving himself, growing into it a little bit.

"Thanks Noah. You may have just saved me. " Connor said in gratitude. "And please, while you're at it, can you call Robin for me and tell her I might not be able to make dinner tonight?"

"No problem. Got ya." Noah said, leaving the OR.

"Hey, don't be too look or you'll miss the Maestro do his thing here." Dr Badovie called out to him.

"I won't be a minute." Noah said.

After that the conversation flowed easily, everyone again relaxed.

….

It grated. Ava fumed as she tried to keep her calm, writing her report after the surgery. The whole surgery had been a misery, listening to Connor brag about Robin and their homely home. She had killed his father so she could have that, with him. Now it seemed she had only done that to pave a way for Robin. This was supposed to be her. She had given too much to just have Robin have it easy. This belonged to her!

She watched him now as he made his way from the patient's room going in the direction of Dr Latham's office. Bodovie came and stood next to Ava at the counter, about to fill in her own report. It turned out Ava was not the only one gawking at Connor's back as he walked away.

Bodovi whistled, "My my did I miss that view." She said, and Ava turned to gape at her. "I mean, I should probably have made that one night stand list when Connor was acting up about Robin leaving him. That was a missed opportunity. Anyway, atleast you had more that a few stands with him. That's something. Now he's hitched, he would never cheat on Robin. Too bad huh?" Bodovi said, and walked away from the counter.

Ava was at boiling point. She was seething. And she was going to fix this!

…