Chapter 8

Don't let me get me.

...

Helen: "Do the storms ever stop?" Maddie: "No, but neither do the rainbows."

...

Three weeks later, Conner's paternity leave was over, he was back at work. Patients couldn't wait, but at least they had given him a few weeks.

"Hey! Welcome back." Ethan said as he saw him walk into the ED. "How's Dillon and his mom?"

"Hey. They are doing great, thanks." Connor said. "We are actually in tune with his routine now. We sleep when he sleeps. He's an active baby."

"Says the proud father." Maggie teased

"Exhausted too." Connor joked back. "But it's worth everything."

"Right behind you man. April is finally pregnant." Choi said with a huge grin. He and April had been trying to get pregnant since before their wedding the previous year. It was no secret, so everyone was overjoyed for them, and April did glow with joy as she accepted the well wishes.

"That's why you've been walking around with that huge grin on your face." Connor teased Ethan.

"No bigger than yours man. You've got 'proud new father' written all over your face."

They all laughed, congratulating Ethan and April again. They had gotten it right too. Connor wondered at Will and Natalie, staying in their opposite corners but the way they looked at each other said otherwise. He was just going to tell Robin, she was the match maker of the family. Right now they were planning Clare and Russ's wedding because his wife had done her usual meddling. Clare was happy and so was Conner. A little meddling to get people who were meant to be together was no harm. It as just giving someone else a chance at a little piece of happiness. Sharon had told him Cece was just the same. Like mother like daughter then. He wondered if she would be able to work some of that magic on Will and Nat, they were two people who really deserved to be together.

He was chilling at the CT desk after surgery, looking in on his patient, a few hours later.

"Hey Uncle Conner."

He turned to that teenage voice, the only person who called him uncle now.

"Anna." He said to Robin's teenage sister.

"Is it ok for me to crash at your place for the weekend? Will you talk to my dad? He wants me to go to this boring psychiatry seminar and I'll just die!"

Connor laughed, usual teenage drama. "How about you ask your sister to talk to your dad. I think she's better at…"

"I already talked to her. She's the one who told me to ask you. Since you're already here and all. Face to face will work better."

"And that your sister talking." Conner shook his head. He could not believe his wife was doing this to him. Face to face huh. "I…why don't you just ask your dad yourself. I'm sure he won't…"

"Please please please. You know how he is"

Oh that he did.

"I want to come and play with Dillon. And Anna is going shopping for wedding dresses and stuff. I really don't want to miss that because of some stupid seminar."

"Ok, I'll talk to him. But a friendly tip, don't go calling his seminar stupid or you'll find yourself grounded."

"Ok ok, thank you thank thank thank you." She hugged him and skipped out of the ward, already texting her friends.

Conner just stood there, he had been played. Now he was the one to face Dr Charles and ask him about cancelling spending time with his daughter at a psychiatry seminar. Truth be told, it did sound boring for a teenager but…

Robin and her little sister had gotten closer after the wedding. She had come with Dr Charles and Cece to the wedding and they had gotten to know each other well after that. Now, she really would rather spend most of her time at the Rhodes playing with Dillon than at her own house. And Robin had thrown her a fly 16th birthday party which made her the 'coolest sister in the whole world' to the teenager. Conner would not be surprised if she turned out to want to be an epidemiologist too, she had rose colored glasses when it came to her sister. She wasn't the only one.

….

Clare's wedding was grand. She and Russell made a wonderful couple. Robin was honored to be the maid of honor, organizing most everything she barely had time to catch a breath, making sure everything was just right. She also had to be close to the bride, holding her hand, calming her down when she got the jitters. Maggie was good at organizing, she was the one taking care of the reception now as Robin stayed with the bride to be who clung to her hand like she would break it.

"Clare, Russell loves you. No need to be that nervous." Robin teased.

Clare snorted, "You're one to talk. Do you remember how you were with Conner on your wedding day? You squeezed my hand so hard it still hasn't recovered."

"Ok, I admit I was a bit nervous, but a little birdy told me he was more nervous than I was. That little birdy was you. Now, I'm saying the same to you, Russ is way more nervous than you right now."

"What, like…he could change his mind, nervous?"

Robin laughed, "No silly. Like he can't believe this is finally happening nervous. He can't wait to be your husband. He loves you. Trust that."

Clare smiled at her. "Thanks Robin. For everything. Russell and I…well I never thought it could happen but…I don't know…you gave me the courage to go for it. Remember what you said to me at your wedding day?"

"Yeah, what?"

"I said to you that I wished I could have half the love you and my brother shared. And you said to me, 'you already have it. With Russell." Then you walked away with your husband leaving me dumbfounded. I hadn't thought anyone had picked up on how I felt about Russ. He had always been there, people just assumed were just…you know."

"She did that to me and Will too, you're not the only one." Natalie said, puffing out Clare's train.

"And I was right, on both counts." Robin said.

"Well. Will and I almost had it but…" Natalie shrugged, "Look how it turned out."

"It will work out." Robin said with that sure smile of hers. "You can't just fight love and win. I've never seen that happen."

There was a knock on the door and Conner popped his head through the door. "Everyone ready? Clare? Russ is already waiting at the altar, we gotta go. Must walk you down the altar little sis." He was holding Dillon in his arms, looking dashing in a black tux. Dillon was looking just as handsome, with a tux too matching his dad. He was so Conner's son.

"Hey babe." Robin got up and kissed him quick on the mouth, taking Dillon from his arms.

"You're leaving me?" Clare exclaimed.

"For just a minute. I've gotta hand Dillon over to my dad. You wouldn't want your brother to walk you down the aisle with a baby in his arms would you?'

"I wouldn't mind."

"He'll be there for photos, I promise." Robin said, rushing out the door with her son.

"Come on Clare, gotta give you away." Connor said.

Clare got up and took his elbow. "You make it sound like you're…giving me away."

"Cause I am. So glad Russ is gonna take you bundle of trouble off my hands." He joked.

She punched him and they both laughed.

He smiled down at her, "I'm glad you're happy."

"Thank you." She smiled at him too. "I love you big bro." She said

He kissed her on the cheek. "I love you too little sis." Then walked with her on his arm out of the room to walk down the altar.

"Hey, maids. Get ready. We're about to go live." Maggie shouted with her usual ED command.

April, Natalie, Maggie, Anna and two of Clare's friends were the bridesmaids, looking beautiful in purple dresses.

"Where's the maid of honor." Maggie asked, looking for Robin.

She entered just then, "Right here. Had to get Dillon settled with his granddad." They all looked at the pews to see the six month old playing with his grandfather's hair.

"Looks like they are doing just great." April said with a smile. She was also almost six months pregnant.

"Ok, ready? Here's our go song." Robin said. "We go before the bride and wait for her at the altar." And Robin led the way with the bride's maids down the pew to the altar.

After the bridesmaids' song, the bride's song came up and Connor entered with Clare on his arm, walking her down the aisle. It brought so many memories of his own wedding to mind. Dr Charles walking down the aisle with Robin on his arm, Connor waiting at the altar, stars truck by the beauty of his bride. Nervous as a leaf in a storm, just like Russell up there, he reckoned. Conner connected his eyes with his wife who was waiting at the altar as the maid of honor, she looked stunning as always. He smiled at her and she smiled back. She was relieving the same memories too.

…..

A few months later, Dr Latham called Connor into his office. Probably about a surgery he wanted his assistance on, Connor reckoned, as he sat across the Chief Surgeon in his office.

"Dr Rhodes, I hate to ask this of you but I need your assistance on a surgery."

"Sure. I've got nothing scheduled this whole week. I'm mostly going trauma surgeries these days. Nobody is in need of invasive heart surgery for now it seems." Connor joked. Dr Latham's therapy was going so well for him that he could actually get the joke. Plus a little birdy had told him that Dr Latham was dating his beautiful therapist, Dr Amy Chilly. It seemed to be going well. The guy had some flow too, Connor smiled.

"Well in that case, I'm glad to hear that. But you will not be going with me on this one."

The Dr sounded hesitant and Connor wondered why.

"Ok, and…going? Somewhere?" Connor asked.

"It's out of state. New York. One of my patient's is in need of a mechanical heart transplant and…"

"He can't travel here." Dr Rhodes finished.

"Precisely." Dr Latham concurred. "Dr Becker would be your second…"

"I'm sorry, Dr Latham but I have my own team."

"That as it may be, this is Dr Becker's patient as well. It is imperative that she goes with you and your team." Dr Latham said with a remorseful tone.

He knew the relationship between Connor and Ava was rocky to say the least. He had witnessed Connor accuse her of killing her father. The insulin was never traced therefore the murder never solved but Dr Latham knew that Dr Rhodes still had suspicions about Dr Becker. Although he couldn't fathom how. Dr Becker had been nothing but an excellent surgeon this whole time.

Connor could tell what the older doctor was thinking. He was the one who was paranoid and accusing an innocent person. Fine! He will go with her, she will just be on his team. He will avoid her just as he had been doing so far. He had been back at Med for almost a year now, and it had been going without too many bumps just because he had succeeded in staying out of Ava's way. This was a peculiar situation, he would have to work harder at avoiding her jibs and efforts at being friendly. Civil, yes. He could pull that off in spades. Friendly though, no.

"Ok. Um…sure, she'll just be part of my team." Connor relented. "When are we supposed to travel?"

"Tomorrow at the latest. Mr. Monroe's heart condition is deteriorating at a rather accelerated pace." Dr Latham said soberly.

"Sure. I'll make the travel arrangements." Connor said, getting up to leave.

"Dr Rhodes." Dr Latham said. "I know I've put you in a precarious position but the situation cannot be helped."

"I understand Dr Latham. It's no big deal." Connor said and exited the room.

It was so a big deal! Ava was trouble, and that was all he was going to say about it. On the upside, Noah was going to have a blast combing the streets of New York. Badovi too. His team could use a little vacation slash work time. He reckoned they would be away for no longer than three days. He didn't want to stay away from his family for too long. This would be the first time in a long time he would be away from Robin. And she wasn't going to be thrilled by the fact he was going with Ava. No matter how added their past had become, they did have a past, and his wife would not be too thrilled about it. He knew he wouldn't if it were Robin going on a business trip with an ex. He would have to pick her up from work a little earlier, hopefully she wouldn't be too busy. Make dinner reservations and tell her. The setting was everything. Romantic dinner and wine under the moonlight.

The setting he had arranged at their favorite restaurant was going to be special, he thought, a few hours later when he walked into the halls of East Mercy Hospital.

"Dr Rhodes. What's up, man?" One of the ED doctors called greeted him jovially.

"I'm good Jeff. How about you"

"Just great. Look at this place so packed with patients. Haven't caught a break since morning. I bet you Med Ed is not this busy today. They are bringing all the patients here." The guy complained.

Connor laughed. "I assure you, you're getting a fair shake. Life in the ED."

"Tell me about it." Jeff grumbled. "Looking for the other Dr Rhodes?"

"Yeah. In her office?" Connor asked.

"I'd check pathology first. She was just as busy today. We had her kind of cases too. I tell you man, today was just wrong." Jeff continued to complain.

Connor laughed, bidding the doctor goodbye as he went in search of his wife.

He found her in pathology as Jeff had predicted. And she looked busy.

"Hey hon." he called, to get her attention.

She looked up. "Heyy." She smiled coming to him. "You're here early." She said, giving him a kiss.

He wrapped her in his arms. "Yeah, had a surprise for you."

"Oh yeah?" She smiled up at him, cuddling closer. "I love surprises."

He didn't think she was going to love this one. At least not the news he had for her.

"Dinner at the Ritz in an hour. Tell me you're not as busy as you look."

"I'm just wrapping up actually. Solved the case."

"Yeah, your wife's a genius Dr Rhodes." One of the pathologists said.

"That she is." He concurred, giving her another smooch.

"You know what, give me about thirty minutes and I'll be right out with you." Robin said.

"Ok, I'll go wait out with Jeff in the ED. The guy's been complaining about how busy you all were today."

"Yeah, well just another day. Don't get pulled into cases." Robin called out after Connor.

"Will try not to."

…..

An hour later after dinner, he told her and held his breath for her response. There was a small silence before she responded and her response wasn't what he would have expected,

She stretched her hand and touched his across the table, "Are you ok?"

"What me? I thought you would be the one to maybe have a problem with it." Connor said in surprise.

"I know how you feel about her. She killed you father and it must bring about so many raw feelings just working in the same building. Now you're forced to have to…" She finished with a wave of her hand.

She did know him too well and he was glad she did. He kissed her hand. "I love you".

"And I love you." She smiled. "You'll do just fine. Just keep everything professional and you'll be golden." She smiled at him, taking a bite into her dessert.

He laughed. That had gone well. Now he couldn't wait to go home and see their son and find out what new things he was doing. He was already learning to walk at ten months. Last month he had learned his first word, mama. Connor loved his family and he was very much aware he was a blessed man.

…..

The whole trip to New York Ava was quiet. Maybe finding conversing with interns and fellows too beneath her. She hadn't made many friends, or any for that matter, as Connor observed. If she still clung to that superior attitude of hers, like she evidently still did, that ED doctors or resident doctors, let alone nurses were beneath her. Then she wouldn't be hanging out at Molly's with the rest of them little people.

Noah still avoided talking in her presence but with Connor around he was more his jovial talkative self.

"Ok, so you guys are only allowed to lose your heads in New York after the surgery. We don't want any one of you coming in less perfect shape than required for this kind of surgery." Connor said.

"Oh, New York City! Here we come!" Noah shouted as they started to descent at the airport. "We hear you, Dr Rhodes. We'll only lose our heads after the surgery."

Connor laughed at his enthusiasm ad he noticed Ava smiling too. Making a friendly comment to Connor.

"You gave them the go ahead, Chief." She said in that sarcastic tone of hers, but with a smile.

Ok, he was going to be professional and civil.

….

First day, they prepped for the surgery, went through scenarios. They all retired into their rooms after the preps, surgery was scheduled for the next day. So, they all held off on the 'losing heads' bit. Connor missed his family the first night, he video chatted with them, went to sleep still talking to Robin, he didn't know who fell asleep first.

The second day was the day of the surgery, it was a long one and exhausting but it was a success. Despite the exhaustion, Noah was still up for losing it in New York, he led the team to the clubs of New York. They would come back wasted in the morning, sleep it off. They had an afternoon flight back home so that would not be a problem.

Connor stayed in, preferring to sleep in and video call with Robin. He was too tired though, he was sure he would be the one to sleep first this time.

He thought he would grab a drink at the hotel bar first, loosen up before going up to his room for the night.

"Hey, you opted for a quiet bar rather than Noah's clubbing too?" Ava sad, coming to sit next to him.

He just looked at her, too tired to care.

"So, how is the baby doing?" She asked cordially.

He gave her a look. "Robin and Dillon are doing just fine, thanks."

"Never thought I'd see you become a father figure quite so well." She said, conversely.

He looked at her to gauge if she was making a dig about his father or not. Decided to let it go. He drank from his glass, didn't say anything.

"You know, we've worked together for almost a year now Connor, since you came back. The least you can do is talk to me." She complained.

"What do you want to talk about Ava?"

"Anything. Surgery went well today. We made a great team. Like we used to." She said, slithering closer to him. "Don't you miss it Connor? Don't you miss me? What we had?"

"And there's your delusion talking. We never had anything Ava. You were a means to an end, my attempt at forgetting Robin. Then you slept with my father and killed him. That's the sum of what we had Ava." He said and stood from the bar to leave.

"Connor." She caught his hand and he looked at her. "We can still have something."

"My God Ava. Really?" He shook his head at her and left for his room. He got in, closed the door and locked it. He took a moment from the disturbing one he just had with Ava. She was dangerously delusional and he had that eerie feeling again of something going horribly wrong with his life because of her. He shook it off, she was demented but he was being paranoid too.

He made his video call to his wife and talking to her, seeing her, managed to erase all the disturbing thoughts that had been swirling in his mind. He fell asleep talking to her again, feeling a lot better he didn't even have any nightmares.

Until he woke up in the morning to see the person sleeping next to him. His heart froze.

…