Disclaimer: Harry Potter, go to the ball - J.K. Rowling owns you all!

About formatting:
For direct quotes I use italicized font.
Instead of footnotes I use double bold parentheses: (-( footnote text )-)

CHAPTER 4
The Yule Ball or The Teenage Hormones

Harry, Ron and Hermione sat under their favorite beach tree, discussing the Great Dragon-Hatching, as it was named in latest Daily Prophet's article (yeah, by Rita Skeeter).

Marvelous, Magnificent, Majestic Myrtle (as she was characterized in the aforementioned article) quietly glided to them.
"Hi, Harry! How are you, Ron. What's up, Hermione," she politely greeted them.

"Listen, Harry, how about we go to the Yule Ball together?" she asked with a seductive smile.

The very embarrassed Harry, trying to be polite, answered with a slight blush,
- Sorry, Myrtle, I am really honored, but… I'm already going with someone else… with Hermione, in fact.
With these words he turned to Hermione, trying to convey to her his silent plea, 'Play along, please.'

Hermione, being a good friend, nodded and said, not meeting Myrtle's eyes, "Yes, we go together."
Ron suddenly realized something, which made him blush much, MUCH more than Harry,
"Oh, stupid me," he thought, "how could I not notice that Hermione is a GIRL!"
- And, actually, a rather attractive one…
- Why didn't I ask her to the ball? Now she goes with Harry.

"Oh, Harry, I am so sorry," said Myrtle apologetically, "Sorry that I was trying to be polite…"
She continued with a hint of steel in her voice,
- I'm afraid, I didn't make myself perfectly clear; I made it sound as if I'm inviting you to the ball.

- Actually, I'm just informing you…
(her voice now was pure steel, stainless steel, steel without impurities)
- YOU ARE GOING TO THE BALL WITH ME, PERIOD.

"Or…" she paused significantly, "the mystery of stolen potion ingredients from two years ago may be finally revealed to a certain hook-nosed professor."
(Remember, they brewed Polyjuice Potion in Myrtle's bathroom?)

Ron gasped, shocked by such unscrupulousness.
Hermione looked aside, impressed against her will by such resourcefulness.

Harry gritted his teeth, realizing that he has no choice, and… nodded silently.

And the Mean, Manipulative, Malevolent, Miscreant (not 'Moaning' anymore, no, ladies and gentlemen) Myrtle glided away with a triumphant smirk.

"Harry, Ron," said Hermione, "Don't judge her too harshly; she is probably still suffering from PDSD."
- Suffering from what?
- PDSD. It means Post-Death Stress Disorder.
- Post-Death? But she died long ago! Like fifty years ago!
"Honestly, guys," Hermione explained patiently,
- Spectral existence can last for millennia, possibly for eternity… and possibly beyond.
- For them time span of fifty years is like just warming-up.

"Hermione," said Ron, trying to sound mature and confident, "I've just got an interesting idea… Why don't we go The Ball together?"
"Well," said Hermione, "You know, somebody else already asked me…" (a lie!)
- And I almost agreed… (a shameless lie!)
- Told him that I just need a little time to think it over. (Hermione, be careful, don't overdo it!)
- But, of course I'd rather go with one of my best friends.
And she produced a sweet radiant (and well-practiced before mirror) smile for good measure. (Bravo, Hermione, you did it!)

Where the boys are concerned, all girls are Slytherins.

Fleur and Victor were already seeing each other, but wanted to keep it secret until the Yule Ball.
By custom and tradition they couldn't be official partners for the Opening Dance.
So, they had to find someone else.
And see how they both completed their tasks with flying colors.

- Hey, what do you think you are doing? He is MY boyfriend! And I don't share!
"Calm down, Cho," Fleur said with an older-sisterly smile,
- I 'ave just checked 'ow resistant 'e is to my veela glamour aura.
- I am not stealing Cedric, just borrowing 'im for ze Opening Dance.

"But why me?" Cedric asked warily.
Fleur shrugged, "I've asked madame Rosmerta of 'Ogsmeade 'oo is ze best-looking boy in 'Ogwarts. You see, I 'ave a reputation to maintain."
Cedric looked at Cho questioningly.
Cho slowly nodded, "It's OK, then, I guess."
(and inwardly she anticipated with glee how she will brag about dating the dance partner of Triwizard Champion)
===o===
- Miss Johnson, vood you do me the honor of being my partner for the Opening Dance?
Angelina, taken by surprise, muttered, "Thank you, but I was planning…"
- Just for vun dance, please?
Angelina suddenly realized something and explained it to frowning Fred,
- Fred, don't be upset, but I really have to; The honor of Gryffindor is at stake.
- Otherwise a girl from some other House may get international Quidditch star player; And we can't have that, can we?
Fred, half convinced, asked warily, "But why Angelina?"
Victor shrugged, "I've asked your Quidditch referee madam Hooch who is the best player among Hogwarts girls. You see, I haff a reputation to maintain"
===o===
Wesley twins were concerned for their younger sister.
She was in her third Hogwarts year and therefore couldn't go to The Ball without being invited.
(And we all know that it's bad for girl's health not to go to the ball when she really wants to, right?)

- Lee, mate, we gonna ask you for a favor.
- Please invite Ginny to the ball, she really wants to go.
Lee Jordan said, "But I thought, she fancies Harry?"
- Harry is taken… for now.
"All right," said Lee, "but you owe me a huge favor."
- Nice try, Lee. Small favor.
- Come on guys… OK, not a huge favor, just big favor, OK?
Wesley twins looked at each other and sighed.
- All right, medium favor, deal?
- Gred, remember we thought about asking Neville for this tiny favor…
- Yeah, Forge, seems like a good idea after all…
"OK, small favor it is," Lee surrendered.
And Ginny went to the ball with Lee Jordan.

Dumbledore stood up and cleared his throat.
Everybody looked at him.

"The Yule Ball begins in two hours. And I am delighted," he said, "to inform you that our guests from Beauxbatons donated to every girl, coming to The Yule Ball, one phial of…"
All girls in Great Hall held their breath.
Dumbledore smiled and finished, "Anti-Sweat Super Hand-On-Left Elixir."

- Harry, Ron, why are you giggling?
- Hermione, you are so smart, did you not figure out what would be the acronym for this elixir?
Hermione gasped and covered her pink face with both hands.

"Now, Mione," asked Ron, "Why girls are so excited about it?"
- Because it is really expensive; and now our left hands will stay clean and fresh for the whole ball.
"And why is it for left hands?" asked Harry.
- Honestly, Harry, it's a ball; people are supposed to dance.
- And after a dance, by wizarding etiquette, witch's left hand is supposed to be kissed.

Apparently that was news for Ron and Harry.
"Er," said Harry.
"Hmm," said Ron.
"I think we can," said Harry.
"I reckon so," said Ron, "not a big deal, it's just a hand."
"Not like lips or…" said Harry and made a vague gesture.
Hermione said nothing. But she thought, "I certainly hope that hand-kissing will be just the beginning."

The Great Hall was lavishly decorated.
The walls had all been covered in sparkling silver frost, with hundreds of garlands of mistletoe and ivy crossing the starry black ceiling.

Harry noticed that there were now many small doors around the perimeter.
And each door had a sign with two broomsticks.
- Myrtle, do you know what is behind those doors?
- Yes, Harry. There are small booths where girl and boy may take so-called broom closet break.
(She noticed with satisfaction that Harry was so cute, when blushing)

The gong sounded and the Opening Dance has begun; three pairs – champions and their partners – stepped up to the podium.

At first, Harry felt himself very out of place because so many eyes were on him.
Then in the mid-dance he realized something that calmed his worries.
As Myrtle were non-material, so there was no danger of stepping on her feet!
From there on he relaxed and just tried his best to follow Myrtle's movements.

And Myrtle?
She had the time of her life!
Or of her death?
Let's say, the time of her after-life life!

She loved being the center of attention; she jumped high and went down slowly, she twirled and swung, not caring much about following the beat of the music.

Sometimes she accidentally-on-purpose moved in such a way that Harry's hands passed through her waist or shoulders or… some other body parts; it was just for good fun, she just liked the way Harry were saying "Oops, sorry" with a sheepish smile.

Fleur and Victor, not hiding their relationship anymore, now danced only with each other.
And they hugged and kissed openly, not bothering about broom closets.
That was their way to discourage any potential flirters.

Cho and Cedric, on the other hand, used a different approach toward the same goal.
Although they did take a few dance breaks from their broom closet pastime.

After a few dances and a drink (Myrtle dipped her wand in the butterbeer and sprinkled herself) she suggested, trying to keep her voice casual, "What about paying a visit to a broom closet? Shall we?"
Harry nervously swallowed and nodded.
Not that he really fancied Myrtle, she was not as pretty as, for example, Cho Chang.
But as her partner he felt that he could not refuse to spend some time alone with her.

And, as he followed her to the nearest door with two broomsticks sign, one part of his brain (obviously, the part where Hermione rubbed off on him) felt curiosity, purely academic curiosity, of course - what kind of snogging is possible between a living person and a ghost?

Harry closed the door and turned to face Myrtle.
He just looked, letting her make the next move.

Myrtle took out her wand and said in a strained voice,
- Harry, I will attempt now to cast a very difficult spell.
- If done correctly, it would temporarily make the substance, which I'm made of, denser.

- I would still be a ghost, but your hands and (with effort, she managed to keep her voice even) lips would feel like touching living flesh.
And she finished in a small voice, "Then we will be able to kiss properly."

Harry felt his breathing quicken.
He tried to calm down, telling himself, "Not a big deal, it will be just lips, not like tits or…" and mentally he made a vague gesture.

Myrtle moved her wand in complicated pattern, softly muttering some unrecognizable words.
Her brows were furrowed in concentration; her breath was deep and steady.
Finally she jabbed the wand into herself, speaking loud and clear,
IMITANTUR SOMA!
(-( 'Imitate body' in Greek/Latin mix )-)

Harry, fascinated, watched how the tip of ghost wand followed the contours of semi-transparent being in front of him.
Wherever the wand passed, the substance became more opaque.
Gradually the whole shape of the incorporeal girl became more and more lifelike.
In the semidarkness of the closet it would now be easy to mistake her for a real live girl.
===o===
One of hairs inside Myrtle's wand possessed the elemental power of Air.
And now this power was working on the wand's mistress, who happened to be a ghost and, therefore, a creature of air.

But… yes, there was a but….

The four hairs in the wand were from Merlin himself, the greatest wizard and prophet ever.
The wand was infused with four elemental powers and yes, their combined force was enough to grant quasi-human attributes to a ghost, at least short-term.

But the wand also contained another vital part of Merlin's unique magic – his wisdom and foresight.
You can say that the wand had a mind of its own.
And it knew that great feats of magic should not be spent on such trifles as teenage snog.
Bigger and grander deeds were destined for Myrtle by Fate.
And the wand's stockpile of magic power should be preserved for these deeds and not depleted.
===o===
Harry realized immediately that something was wrong.
The image of a girl in front of him began to flicker.
Now it was fully solid, now – all misty; then it shimmered with all the colors of the rainbow.
Myrtle gripped her wand tighter and, half moaning, half wheezing, tried to repeat the incantation with more force.
But all her efforts were futile.
A wave of gray sparks rippled through her body, restoring on its way the original appearance of her ghostly self.

The spirit girl looked so dispirited (pun intended) and deflated that Harry couldn't help feeling sympathy for her.
He awkwardly tried to pat her hand, saying, "It's OK, Myrtle, it's OK, at least you tried."
"Said harem girl to eunuch," Myrtle automatically supplied the punch line of this old joke.

Realizing what she just said, Myrtle gasped and looked at Harry in horror.
Her embarrassment and fear of what Harry will think of her were so apparent that it was rather comical.
(Remember, she grew up in times, when young innocent girls were supposed to be ignorant about… yes, exactly, about what you just thought)

Harry chuckled amiably.
Myrtle giggled timidly.
They looked at each other and suddenly both burst out in laughter.

Their laugh relieved the accumulated tension.
Myrtle put the wand back into the sleeve of her robe and said with a slight smile, "Right, switching to plan B - ghost kiss."

Next morning, girl bathroom, sharing the experiences.

"And what is ghost kiss?" Hermione asked with a genuine curiosity.
Myrtle explained,
- You move your lips like for a kiss and gently blow air, aiming at your partner's lips.
- And then your partner does the same.
She continued with a dreamy smile,
- Harry's breath was so warm, so pleasant….
- I wish I could do more for him.

Hermione, always willing to test new ideas (test, of course, on somebody else), suggested,
- You could've, for example, unbuttoned the front of your robe.
- Or, for the sake of Merlin, it's not a big deal.
- You would show Harry just your tits; it's not like buttocks or… and she made a vague gesture.

Myrtle, not embarrassed in the least, sighed,
- I wish I could. But our clothes are part of us.
- I can no more unbutton my robe than you can unbutton your skin.

That was news for Hermione.
Well, even insufferable know-it-all cannot know everything.
Especially something, never given in homework.

"And, by the way," Myrtle asked with a mischievous smile, "To what phase did you and Ron advance?"

Hermione answered with a double mischievous smile,
- We did a research together,
- The research topic was: when people kiss do their noses get in the way?

"Was Ron a good…" Myrtle asked with a triple mischievous smile, making (as you, surely, guessed) a vague gesture, "research subject?"

Hermione thoughtfully moved her tongue around her lips and said with an infinitely mischievous smile, "Yes, very eager."

TO BE CONTINUED

Not writing review, when you really want it, is bad for your health.

The next chapter will be 'The Second Task or The…'
(I'm not revealing the full title yet)

Who will rescue whom?
And who will win?
Or, maybe... again… a draw?