This was pretty short. Been pretty busy with life but I'm mostly running out of things to write before getting to canon... It's been a while since I've updated so I wanted to get something out.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Highschool DxD

"I'm glad you girls took the time to check this place out. I promise you won't regret it!" Naruto said excitedly.

Akeno smiled in response and Koneko stared at him.

"Is something wrong, Koneko?"

She walked up to him, grabbed his hand and led him to a chair.

"Sit." She said stoically.

"Okay?" Naruto looked confused but complied, "What now?"

"I want you to pet me." Koneko told him as she plopped herself onto his lap.

"O-Oh, sure..." He slowly and hesitantly pet her.

"Not like that." She frowned, "Like you did earlier."

"Ah."

Koneko began purring lowly as Naruto covered his hand with nature energy.

"Ah, she's too cute! And she has a nice butt too. What a win!"

"You could've just left it at her being cute." Kurama growled, "And you better not get a boner or I swear—."

"Relax, I can control myself."

"I sort of doubt that."

"Umm... Who are they, Naruto?" Irina laughed nervously.

"Irina, you know what they are." Xenovia narrowed her eyes.

"Let's all relax before someone does anything stupid, all right?"

"But they're—"

"I know what they are, but I didn't come here to watch a fight. Now everyone sit down as Sasuke makes us some ramen or I will make you sit down."

"Eh? Why me?" Sasuke frowned as he looked over at the girls.

"As you can see I am currently busy." Naruto gestured to Koneko with his head.

"No. Fuck you."

"Woah! What's with that attitude?"

"Make a clone do it. I'm not your maid."

"But this is part of the job."

"Perhaps. But since it's you I won't be doing it." Sasuke pointed at the dishes, "I've also got my hands full at the moment so you better hurry unless you want to go back to work starving."

"Bastard." Naruto muttered as he made three clones.

"You can make clones, Naruto?" Xenovia curiously poked one of them.

"Hm? Yeah, Sasuke can as well." Naruto puffed out his chest, "Although nowhere close to the amount that I can make."

Irina looked at Sasuke, "Then why not make clones to help you wash the dishes?"

Sasuke stopped and slowly turned his head, "Who do you think I am? You don't think I didn't think of that? It didn't work... When I tried I somehow ended with more."

"So, is there anything different about the clones compared to you?" Akeno asked Naruto.

"Not really, they can do everything I can. The only weakness they have is that they can't take a hit and they can develop their own personalities."

Akeno smirked mischievously, "Then they're as good as the original in every sense? Like, let's say... Sexual performance?"

"I guess." Naruto shrugged, "Technically I'm better since they dispel after they cum but that would also take a while since they have great stamina."

"O-Oh... That's interesting." Akeno blinked, not having expected to get an answer, "So... do you make clones when you have sex?"

"I do, occasionally. Well, at least back home I did. I haven't had sex once since getting here."

"Actually—"

"Sasuke, shut the fuck up."

Sasuke smirked, "He almost had sex a few days ago."

"Yeah. Almost being the key word here."

"Anyway, another fun fact about the clones is that the original will get back all of the memories and things the clones felt when they dispel."

"Amazing." Xenovia whispered to herself as she wrote down all the information on a notepad.

"Wow! That's very interesting! Say, are you well endowed as well? Akeno looked at Naruto hungrily.

"Back off." Koneko frowned.

"Awww." Akeno turned to Sasuke, "What about you?"

Sasuke merely turned his attention back to the dishes.

Akeno frowned, "You're all so boring. Naruto, how about you and I go and have some fun before we have to go back to school?"

Naruto blushed, "W-Well... I mean, I'm your teacher a-and we haven't even had lunch..."

Akeno blushed, "Oooh~ We could use this as some kind of role play! You'll be the teacher and I'll be the naughty student... As for lunch..." She licked her lips, "I could have a nice... long... sausage... How does that sound?"

"Role play... Makes Naruto flustered." Xenovia looked up, "Irina, are you getting all of this?"

"..."

"Irina?" Xenovia poked her friend, "Are you okay?"

No response.

"Helloooo!" Xenovia waved her hand in front of Irina's face, "Hmm." She frowned before looking down to take notes.

Meanwhile, Naruto was not having a pleasant time.

"This girl is crazy! Calm down little buddy! Don't respond!"

Akeno smiled as she noted Naruto's struggle, "Maybe we can all have some fun together? Make good use of those clones of yours..."

"Oh fuck..." That was the last straw and he lost control over it.

Koneko tensed and slowly looked back at Naruto, a blush covering her face.

Akeno's smile became even larger, "Oh my! Don't tell me..."

"Naruto, you poor bastard." Sasuke thought to himself.

Naruto gulped, "Now, please listen Koneko..."

"Just... Keep petting me. I'll ignore it..."

"Oh? What brought this on, Koneko?" Akeno smirked.

"Shut it."

"Is the ramen done?" Naruto asked his clones.

"Sorry boss! We were a bit distracted..."

"Just get it done!"

"Say, Koneko..." Akeno leaned on her arms, "Is he big?"

Xenovia perked up.

Koneko blushed even harder, "Y-Yeah... Since his pants are very lose I'm getting a good feeling of it..."

"How big is he?"

"I-I'm not sure. But he's big." Koneko squirmed whenever she felt a twitch.

"My, my, Naruto..." Akeno shook her head disapprovingly, "Getting hard from your students? That's not very good is it?"

"S-Sorry..." "I'm pretty sure you're older than me..."

"Perhaps you do need some release. Do you masturbate?"

"Surprisingly, he actually doesn't." Sasuke piped in, "You would think he does considering how much material he has."

Naruto sucked in breath, "Koneko... Don't do it, it's not a good idea..."

"Sorry... I'm not sure why I did that..."

"It's fine. No harm done..."

"A lot of harm done! I seriously need to get out of here! Kurama, ideas?!"

"Beats me." Kurama shrugged, "You got yourself into this mess, man up and take it like a champ!"

"But I can't! That's why I'm asking for ideas!"

"Well... You could think of something gay?"

"No."

"Then I got nothing. Give yourself a good wank before you go back."

"But I can't! That would make it worse!"

"Oh, oh! I got it. Switch yourself with a clone and go home."

"You're a genius, Kurama!"

"Compared to you? Yeah, I could be called that."

"Hey! One of you come here!" Naruto yelled at his clones.

"What is it, boss?"

"Put Koneko on your lap and keep petting her. I'm going home."

"You got it, boss!" The clone saluted.

"Hello? Anyone here?" Naruto called out as he entered the apartment.

"I'm here, nya." Kuroka called back from the couch.

"What're you doing?" Naruto asked as he walked over to her.

"Wallowing in sorrow."

"Why?"

Kuroka rolled over to meet his eyes, "Why do you think, nya?"

"For almost having sex with Ophis?"

"You're actually asking if that's why?"

"Yes?"

"Well, duh. Why else, nya?"

"You really want to have sex with me that bad?" He asked her as he sat down next to her.

"It's not just having sex..."

"Do you mean to tell me that—"

Kuroka quickly interrupted him, "Why are you here so early? Isn't today your first day as a teacher, nya?"

"Where's Rossweisse?" Naruto answered with a question of his own.

"I kicked her out, told her to go out and explore... You still didn't answer me, nya."

"Well..." He scratched his head in embarrassment, "I had a... Well, little problem."

Kuroka raised her eyebrows in surprise, "No way! That's hilarious!" She looked down at his crotch, "And it's still up."

"Yeah... I was hoping to stay home, away from anything stimulating and just let it go down on its own."

"Maybe you should give Ophis a call." Kuroka drawled sarcastically, "I'm sure she'd love to suck you dry."

Naruto frowned, "Well, maybe I will."

"Yeah, you should."

"Fine, I will."

"... You're not actually going to ask her, are you?"

Naruto sighed, "No... I mean, I could... But I won't."

"Well... Good... That would probably make this birthday even worse than it already is, nya."

"Why do you say it's bad?"

"For one, I can't spend it with my Shirone and two... I wanted to spend it with you, nya." She frowned, "Seeing Ophis in your bed this morning really pissed me off too."

"Kuroka... What exactly do you feel towards me?"

She huffed, "You're smart enough to know." She poked his chest, "The real question is what you feel towards me. Am I an acquaintance? A friend? And could I be something more?"

"I-I'm not sure how to answer that..."

"Then... Maybe don't answer that..." She moved to straddle him as she wrapped her arms around his neck, "Maybe... You could show me if we can be something more..."

Wow, wow, wow! This chapter was shorter but I had a fun time writing this.

I want to leave this completely up to you guys. Should Naruto have sex with Kuroka? And if he does, do you want to see it? I could simply imply it or actually write it but that might take longer since I wouldn't want a half-assed sex scene after all. I think it's actually easy to make comedy from anything that involves sex. I've already got a bunch of ideas of things to happen if they did do the deed next chapter.