Chris: Last week on Total Drama Fandom Island, we dissolved the teams for a while for the GREATEST GUNFIGHT EVER held on this island! Sasha, Arthur, Sans and Mabel came out on top with their insane flicks, while in the group stage, Jason Grace led the Gophers to a blazing victory as Team Alpha Wolves. A double elimination forced Seraphine to use her Immunity Idol and gave Darcy a chance to UNO Reverse Card the Bass' attempt to steal the Idol! In the end Pony and Gray double sashayed away.
This week, our twelve campers will go through our Cooking Challenge, as we dare the Gophers and Bass to prepare the most scrumptious three course meal that ever graced the island! Can they take the heat? Find out right here on TOTAL! DRAMA! FANDOM! ISLAND!
[The theme song plays.]
Dear Mom and Dad I'm doin' fine, you guys are on my mind [Patrick wakes up under the lake, pulls a Krabby Patty out of his pocket and eats it, burping and creating a small tidal wave towards the beach], you asked me what I wanted to be [Arthur and Sasha are having a picnic on the beach just as the tidal wave hits them] and I think the answer is plain to see, I wanna be famous [Cyborg is recharging himself with a solar panel array when the weather suddenly turns Arctic. Cut to Gray laughing and Hermione shaking her head] I wanna live close to the sun [Darcy is looking for the Immunity Idol on the river riding Amethyst, shape-shifted as a canoe. They fall into the waterfall]. Go pack your bags cause I've already won [Sans is standing asleep on a log, blipping out of the way just in time as Mabel rappels across with her grappling hook], everything to prove nothing in my way [Mabel slams into the outhouse, causing Seraphine to fall out], I'll get there one day. [Brian and Raymond, tied up, look on in horror as Chef serves them 'mystery meat', meanwhile Bakugou is armwrestling an arm of sand conjured by Gaara next to him. Bakugou loses.] Cause I wanna be famous. [LSP and Ponyhead are taking selfies by the steps on the beach] Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na! [Baljeet is writing on his organizer while Lisa is playing her saxophone as fireworks go off in the sky] I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous, I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous [At the campfire, Jett and Jason are about to kiss when Barry pops up and fines them] (Whistling in tune)
Italic means Confessional!
The Bass were melancholic. One on hand, they were sad to lose Gray, and to lose two campers in one fell swoop, but they were happy that, with Ponyhead gone, the Bass were now at its strongest, with its five core members.
Arthur surveyed the team like a proud admiral. He knew that even with numbers anything could still happen, so he roused the Bass to action with his speeches.
"We might be outnumbered, but we will keep on fighting! We'll fight them at the grounds! We'll fight them at the beaches, we'll fight them in the woods! The Killer Bass shall never surrender!"
"We'll dedicate our very hearts to the team!" joined Sasha.
"I'll lend you my aid. Everyone who's with me, let's go!" said Gaara.
"Let's give those Gophers a bad time!" said Sans.
"I have nothing to add to this conversation!" said Baljeet.
The Bass did a hand stack, and prepared to fight the Gophers.
The Gophers were on a euphoric high, and not because Darcy managed to hack into Chris' Netflix accounts so the girls could binge-watch Euphoria High, but because they now outnumbered the Bass seven-to-five and the Merge was only two weeks away. Victory, or at least, Merging, was now in the bag for at least five of them.
"The Bass are on their back foot, I say we deliver another blow this week!" said Raymond.
"Gee, guys, they just lost two members, maybe we can go easy on them" motioned Seraphine.
"We can't risk taking it easy," said Jason, shaking his head. "They'll be burning to win this week, and you never know when Chris will declare another double eviction"
"He's right," said Darcy. "We have to crush them now that they're down to their strongest members. Each of them someone you do not want to fight one on one… except for the Indian boy"
"Baljeet is Punjabi, to be exact, though he speaks Hindi" offered Lisa.
Darcy rolled her eyes. "I don't care if he's Tanganyikan, he's still the weakest link in the Bass. And weak links are dangerous when they're as self-aware as Baljeet is…"
"So what's the plan, fellas?" asked Mabel, pausing her sugar binge.
"Gaara is the most dangerous Bass right now, by a mile. With his powers now at half-strength, there's no telling how much leverage he's gaining week after week. Then there's Sasha, who's been pulling clutches from day one. Arthur threatens me, that dweeb might not look much, but I have the tea that he's the most powerful wizard in the mortal realm right now, though his spellcraft leaves much to be desired. Sans has a personal vendetta against me for Amethyst..."
"You can't blame him," said Jason dryly.
"We can't choose who goes home, but if we win, there's an 80% chance any one of those four powerhouses will leave, which is less competition for the Merge."
The other Gophers nodded in general agreement.
"So it's agreed," said Jason. "We'll crush them"
"Yeah! Let's get crushing, Dustin!" said Mabel
"...it's Jason…"
"Anyway, what could this week's challenge be? Capture the Flag? Siege wars? Spy vs. Spy? Anything we can use our numbers advantage in?"
A few moments later…
"You have GOT to be kidding me", said Jason as the dolphin drove the truck up the shore.
"We are most certainly NOT kidding, Jason. This week, you'll be doing our OG Cooking Challenge!"
"Oh, goody!" said Sasha, her eyes twinkling in delight.
Sans stretched himself. "Welp, all I gotta do is get the old Font family grill burning and hotdog our way to victory…"
"Are you really going to settle for a basic, unappealing American barbeque?!" asked Arthur incredulously.
"I guess you could say there's a lot at steak here, but yeah, I'm confident we can smoke out the competition with a grill"
"I forgot how barren your humor was" said Arthur.
"They don't call me 'Bone-Dry Sans' for nothing!"
"Tell me you guys know how to cook," said Jason.
"Well, I can stir-fry and stuff," said Seraphine.
"My diet is strictly takeouts, FoodPanda offerings, and judging people's OOTDs on FaceBook," said Darcy
"I can whip up a vegan feast of dishes, but I'm not sure if it'll be a crowd-pleaser," offered Lisa.
"Don't look at me, I'm a doctor" said Raymond.
"My cuisine is mostly for camping" said Barry.
"My grunkle forbids me from coming near the kitchen" said Mabel.
Jason sighed. "So much for guns blazing, but I'm sure we'll figure something out…"
The Gophers decided to go for a "healthy Continental banquet". They began drawing up plans from Raymond's cookbook and Barry's culinary know-how. Lisa was oddly averse to the challenge, sensing a lot of meat involved in today's challenge. Darcy was named Head Chef.
Darcy: We're on a winning streak, but they need to be reminded who's boss!
The Bass voted to make an "authentic English repast" and named Arthur their leader. Sans was still to fire up his grill since Arthur would be roasting a few items.
Arthur: We are on a losing streak! We need more proactive leadership, and that is where the British excel!
Who will win the Cooking Challenge? Vote on Reddit!
r/Totaldrama/comments/ut2qsd/keep_him_outta_the_kitchen_who_will_come_out_on/
The Gophers began with their plan to create a Continental course. "The twist is that I didn't say WHICH continent!" said Darcy. "It's gonna be a huge pivot once we pull the rug under them!"
"So, which continent will it be, if not Europe?" asked Lisa.
"We're gonna go for Asian cuisine. Seraphine, you and Barry are in charge of the first course, make some dumplings and a soup if possible.
"Can do, Darcy. I'll use my grandma's recipe."
"Mabel and Jason will take care of the main course, which I think should be some sort of sweet-and-sour ribs, right, Sera?"
"That will tie in well."
"Oh, but Dars, I could NEVER handle pork. You know I have a pet pig!"
"Oh" Darcy said dryly. "Fine, Jason and I will handle the ribs"
Darcy: Not only did I make it look like I wasn't gunning to keep Jason next to me, I also managed to make Mabel owe me one! Jackpot!
"Mabel, you and Raymond will make mochi instead, for dessert"
"Can do!"
"Alright," Darcy continued. "Mabel, rice flour; Raymond, fruits and chocolate; Jason, the ribs; Seraphine, ground pork; Barry, get the spices"
"What about me?" asked Lisa.
"Well, since I'm very considerate, Lisa, I decided to let you sit out the challenge since it's 7v5 anyway, and you hate meat. So, instead, I'll need you to do a favor for me. Chat up the Bass, distract them, but the main focus is to gather information on their deepest, darkest fears"
"Alright, High Priestess!"
Darcy: She is BEYOND gassed, but I do so love being called 'High Priestess'. Icy always called that title before I could!
The Bass started with great gusto on the challenge. Arthur directed their activities, but Sasha felt greatly unnerved by the fact that the Englishman was in charge. "Alright, chaps! Sasha and Baljeet will handle the appetizer: Baked potatoes with chutney topping. Sans and I shall handle the main course, a Full English platter, for a "breakfast-for-dinner" twist the Gophers won't see coming, and lastly, Gaara will be in charge of dessert. He'll be making this Banoffee Pie recipe. I'll be teaching him shortly!"
Gaara: I'm not into cooking. Last time I cooked, I ended up holding a fish in a maid outfit.
"Sans, get that grill ready! Gaara, get the ingredients from the truck, Sasha and Baljeet, ready the tools!"
Sasha: Arthur's got the leadership finesse to rival most of the captain's I've seen… but I've also seen his cooking…
Lisa approached Baljeet and Sasha. "Hey guys! Getting ready for the challenge?"
They nodded. "How come you're not helping the other Gophers?"
"Oh, I don't like being next to meat, so they gave me the day off, since it's seven against five, anyway. So, I decided to just take it easy and reflect."
"That's nice and all, Lisa, but I hope they won't vote you off when we win!" said Sasha.
"Well, if you want the tea, Sasha, we're planning to mutiny Jason if we lose. Darcy figures he's become too dangerous!"
"Oh dear, well, I dunno about that but my friend Mikasa would agree with that logic. If she were here in my place, this game would be over in a week. She's very goal-oriented!"
"Aren't you guys scared of Arthur's cooking?" asked Lisa.
"Well, his chocolates were better used as paperweights, but perhaps his other dishes will be good, right?" asked Baljeet.
"But that meal we had back in Week One was made by Arthur. Oh, didn't Sasha tell you?"
"Er-" Sasha stuttered. "Chris told me not to tell anyone else about it, and then I just forgot about it-"
"Uh-huh" said Baljeet. "That's kind of suspicious of you, Sasha".
"Look, we're on a losing streak, Baljeet. The last thing we need is to worry about our captain's cooking skills".
"Well, see you guys later!" said Lisa, running off and making notes for Darcy later on.
Lisa: This was the challenge Beth was eliminated in, and I'm honestly kinda scared in a superstitious, irrational way. Like, what if it repeats for me? That's why I'm just kinda letting Darcy do her thing, but I'm definitely not trusting her 100%. All I need is an opening to get rid of her and end the deal-with-the-Devil I got myself into. For now, I'm gunning to break the Bass' morale.
Sasha took Gaara aside for a little talk. "Anything, Sasha. What's the matter?" asked the sandbender kindly.
"I'll let you in on something… Arthur's a terrible cook, and I'm very worried one of us will end up going home tonight if we let him commandeer this challenge"
"Alright, then, what do you propose?"
"A mutiny…"
The Gophers were making great progress with their cooking. Seraphine amazed Barry with the many creative ways to make dumpling shapes. "This is even cooler than when Dawn makes her Poffins! I didn't know these shapes were made just by using forks and chopsticks!"
"It's really fun and easy when you get the hang of it," replied Seraphine sweetly. Even Piplup had learned how to make the dumpling shapes.
Jason was using gentle electrical currents to tenderize the ribs, while Darcy was mixing the marinade. Darcy shot sideways glances at Jason from time to time, imagining herself in the ribs' place. The way those firm hands glided across the meat…
"Say, Jason, you mentioned having an ex, right?" she asked, hoping to open up a memory.
Jason looked up from the ribs. "Yeah. She was one of us. Piper McLean, daughter of Aphrodite."
Darcy didn't know which shocked her more, the fact that Jason's ex-beau was a Cytherean, or that she was, quite possibly, related to Chris.
"Any relation to Chris?!'
"No idea, but her father was the movie star Tristan McLean. Brothers, perha-"
"And, we don't speak of Tristan on this island, Jace!" said Chris, rushing into the kitchen. 'That no-good showoff, that movie career should've been MINE!"
"We don't talk about Tristan, no no no" chimed Seraphine playfully at the scene that unfolded.
"AND WE DON'T SING ABOUT HIM EITHER, SERA, DON'T MAKE ME PULL AN ELLA ON YOU!"
Chris was, obviously, very irritated at the mention of his more successful cousin.
Darcy felt it was almost worth losing Jason's attention in learning this new bit of info on Chris. Could she use this in any way? Only time would tell, and it seemed she had plenty…
Mabel and Raymond pounded away at the mochi dough, happily humming away.
"We're gonna crush the Bass!"
"Like how we're pounding this dough!"
"Alright, time to steam! Piplup, use Scald!"
Piplup filled the steamer with boiling water, preparing the dumplings for cooking.
"The ribs are ready for basting, Darcy"
"Alright, on it!"
They moved like clockwork, not wasting any time.
"Hey, Arthur, I need your help down here," said Sasha.
"Of course, Miss Braus, allow me just a mome-AACK!"
Tendrils of sand enveloped Arthur as he was stuffed face-first into the freezer.
"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS, YOU TWO?!"
"I'm so sorry, Arthur, but we're gonna win, we can't let you anywhere near the food. I've seen your cooking back in Week 1." Sasha apologized.
"I'll check in on you from time to time. There's a Sand Igloo at the corner of the freezer to keep you warm-"
"LET ME OUT THIS INSTANT, YOU TWO, THIS IS A BLOODY MUTINY!"
Sasha inched closer to Gaara. "Do you think he's mad?"
Dents suddenly exploded on the metal door as the Englishman began hexxing the door.
"I'M GOING TO STUN YOU FOR THIS!"
Gaara shrugged. "He'll be fine. What's important is to keep him out of the kitchen. I'll keep an eye out on him from time to time."
Sans looked around. "Hey, where's Arthur?"
Sasha looked nervous. "Taken care of"
Sans blinked. "Ah". "OK, then, let's get started with this grill…"
"After I'm done baking the potatoes, Baljeet, I leave the appetizers to you, I'll handle the dessert. That Banoffee Pie shouldn't be too hard"
But Sasha was wrong, the Banoffee Pie recipe was extremely taxing on her sanity….
Chris stopped by the kitchen. "See you in an hour, campers. That food better be edible, oh and make sure no one eats it on the way to the table!"
"That's why we evicted Patrick early on!" said Barry.
"Oh, yes, that's totally a Patrick thing to do," said Raymond.
Gaara checked Arthur's temperature when he began to calm down. The freezer was cold, but not life-threateningly so. "Are you calm enough to listen now?" he asked the Brit.
"I'm cold enough, as it is. Did you really have to throw me into the freezer?!"
"Look, you were very serious with going through this challenge, but we needed to win. I'm sorry if we hurt your feelings, but if Sasha was telling the truth and you cooked that dinner back in the first week, I wouldn't let you within a mile of the kitchen."
Arthur began to sob.
Gaara began to panic internally. "Oh, look. I'm really sorry for all of this, but I'm sure we're going to win now, so please, just let this pass, OK?"
Arthur paused. He was very cold and depressed at the moment that Gaara's words, as nervously and awkwardly as they were given, had an odd effect upon him.
Sasha decided a side-salad needed to be on the menu to balance out the heap of cholesterol Sans was grilling, so she ran down to the pantry to get some vegetables.
Arthur nestled closer. "It is rather cold in here"
Gaara shivered. "Indeed"
"You're a curious combination of touch-starved and touch-averse" noted England.
Sasha took out some vegetables and began chopping away, her hands a blur.
"And you can tell this how?" asked Gaara, honestly surprised.
Arthur stretched himself, rubbing elbow-to-elbow with Gaara in doing so. "It's in your hands. They haven't stopped fidgeting since you've been here. And it's not the cold, either, the twitching is all different. Your eyes seem to guard your hands from getting too close to me."
Gaara was too stunned to speak.
"Looking further, I note the marking on your forehead is the Japanese kanji for 'love', and yet… yet, it's 'ai', the one for the 'feeling' of love, and not its romantic quality, it hints at a longing, a longing disguised as a stalwart show of self-reliance. A self-loving person, content in his own little world. I take it you were battered as a child? I know the signs, dear boy, it's like looking into a mirror…"
Sasha prepared the salad, placing it in a neat serving bowl and began to ready the dressings.
"You've been too afraid to satisfy this longing, this hunger, for another person's touch. Even when you began to let other people in, you've never really let anyone in, have you? Not even that other chap, his name was Lee, wasn't it? "
"I-"
"It's usually the case when the trust and the other issues are compounded with that, ah, other issue." Arthur ran his hand, brushing Gaara's hair lightly, running his fingers across his cheek.
"So, am I in the ballpark?" The fingers were running across his chest now.
Gaara needed the lump in his throat to go down. "Y-yes," he stammered.
"Stop doing this to yourself. Let me do this for you" He pulled the redhead closer and brought their lips together.
Sasha got the salad and dressings ready and began to carry them back up to the kitchen.
Gaara was very annoyed at himself for letting go, but the hot sweetness of it all was unbearable for him to ignore. It was something he had craved for a very long time. As if not being able to let anyone near him was bad enough, it was this other secret he kept deep inside that made him an island within an island.
But Arthur didn't care for such isolation. He was, after all, a literal island himself.
He yearned for Arthur to do even more than what was happening at the moment, but he chose to be satisfied for now, with their warm bodies interlocked together in a sweet embrace of-
"Seriously?! In front of my salad?!"
Both boys sat up immediately as Sasha crept in from the lower pantry.
"What? It's bloody cold down here"
"We got carried away…"
Sasha rushed upstairs, obviously shook by what she had just witnessed.
"Was it really just the cold?"
"Perhaps, perhaps not. I get to keep my secrets too, love"
Sasha brought the salad along with the other dishes and called Sans and Baljeet to get them all ready for presentation. "Where's Arthur and Gaara?" asked Baljeet.
"Tossing salads" she said with a smirk. "I've told them to make lots of it".
Darcy clapped her hands. "Double time, people! We're gonna crush this!"
Sasha pushed her cart of foods up ahead. "Oh no, you're not! We're taking this win!
Chris sat in anticipation of the food, knowing that neither team messed up big time with the food this time around. "So, Gophers, what've you got for me tonight?"
Lisa cleared her throat. "Tonight, we're serving Asian Continental, starting you off with a dim sum platter prepared by Seraphine herself, and cooked by sustainable methods"
"Sustainable?" Chris asked.
"It was steamed by Piplup"
"Ah. I'll try it now"
Chris took a dumpling and tasted it.
"Amazing. It's a nine for the Gophers' appetizer. Next!"
"For our main course, we have electrically-tenderized sweet-and-sour ribs, prepared by Chefs Grace and Draggle."
Chris sampled the ribs. "I'm so glad we eliminated this season's Owen early on. Nice! A ten for the Gophers! Now for dessert…"
"Straight from New Horizon Island's hit recipes, we offer chilled mixed berry pounded mochi for dessert"
The plate disappeared in less than a minute. "A ten, if it weren't for the cat hairs… so eight! The Gophers have a score of 27! The Bass need 28 to win!"
Darcy sneered. "Not a chance!"
"So, Bass? Let's get started"
Sasha stepped up. "We prepared an authentic English course for tonight, but there's a twist, starting off with baked potatoes with spicy chutney topping"
Arthur stepped in from downstairs. "AND WHAT IS THIS, I DIDN'T APPR- Oh hold on, I did approve of this. So sorry, carry on… It has a surprise"
"Okay then, let's try thi- OH GOD, BASS, IT'S SO FRICKING HOT! GET ME SOME MILK!"
"Hand him the milk, Gaara"
Gaara handed Chris a glass of milk, which he immediately chugged down. He began to cough. "This is BUTTERMILK!"
"Surprise" said Gaara without a hint of humor.
"Why didn't you tell me it was buttermilk?!"
"Then it wouldn't be a surprise"
"Agh, okay, Bass you get seven points for this, since the dish was OK aside from being nuclear in taste, next!"
"We're serving a Full English Breakfast for dinner as our next twist! We kept Arthur locked up in the freezer just so it won't be burned!"
"You WHAT"
"Just try it!"
"Oh, ok, this is GOOD. Sans, you are one good fella at the grill"
"Learned all I know from Grillby!"
"This is a ten. If you get another ten, you tie with the Gophers!"
"For dessert," Sasha pressed on, "we have this Banoffee Pie!"
"Wow, looks like you guys can win after all! Let's have it!"
Sasha stepped forward… and tripped over. The pie flew into the air, and EXPLODED.
"Oh dear me, that wasn't the Banoffee Pie recipe, that was the Exploding Pirate Pie recipe…" Arthur said.
"I was wondering why it called for gunpowder" said Sasha.
"You were WONDERING?!" said Chris, now black from the debris.
"And I was wondering since when the hell did that creep Deidara make pie recipes. Look! His name's on the author list!" Gaara added.
"Welp, so much for tying, Bass, but that's a zero in my book."
"Well I'VE got a guy or two to nominate after being stuffed alive in a chilly room!" said Arthur.
"Hold your horses, Lord Nelson. Since you're down to five members, there will be no nominations. You're ALL up for eviction for this disappointing performance. Next time I DON'T WANNA SEE ANY FUCKING TNT!"
Vote to evict!
Sasha was sobbing between bites of the Full English she had decided to gobble up tonight. The thought of losing two challenges in a row was dampened by the fact that she had won the challenge last week anyway, but she was frightened by the possibility of elimination.
"Alright, campers! The votes are in and it's a three-way tie! That means we go to the traditional elimination vote between the five of you! I'm giving you guys thirty minutes to think about your decision!"
Sans looked grim. "Guys, come over, I need to discuss this plan with you"
The other four were all ears, and they didn't like the plan…
"You have lost your damn mind," said Arthur. "When you get your damn mind back, you call me".
But Sasha was willing to carry it out. She wanted to save the Bass, or what was left of it, and Sans had very good plans most of the time.
So she continued to nosh on her platter of grilled meat. Darcy approached her, looking strangely complacent. "Sasha, I'm so sorry about earlier. Managing that team must take a lot out of you"
"You don't know the half of it!" Sasha sobbed as she shoveled more sausages into her mouth. "Care to join me? Arthur made the Banoffee Pie we were supposed to make, though it's no big help for us now."
Darcy's eyes glittered. "Well, I won't say no to a little pie…"
Sasha handed Darcy a big slice and allowed her to dig in.
"Sasha… this isn't Banoffee-"
Sasha forced herself not to laugh.
"Oh, great Ancestress! Did Sans get anywhere near here?!"
"Why? Did Arthur manage to mess up this pie too? That's it! We're voting him out now!"
Darcy's eyes watered as the hot, familiar sensation spread like wildfire in her mouth.
"For the love of the dark, GET ME SOME MILK!"
"Oh! Somebody, she NEEDS SOME MILK!"
Gaara appeared to materialize beside Darcy. "Here's the milk. It's got a surprise"
"Is the surprise buttermilk?!"
"No"
Darcy drank the milk. It wasn't buttermilk, but it wasn't milk either.
"THIS IS EVEN HOTTER THAN THE PIE!"
Darcy lay on the floor, gagging.
"Yup, I've got it all on camera" said Sans, stepping into the light.
The Gophers ran to Darcy's aid. "Alright, that's enough," said Jason, only half-heartedly.
"She's had this coming for weeks," was Sans' simple reply.
"Good heavens, she's practically dying!" cried Seraphine.
"Don't be silly. Smart witches don't die to fire," replied Arthur.
"Okay, I am FINING all five of you for this unsportsmanlike conduct!" yelled Barry
"Most uncrisp!" added Raymond.
Darcy got up. "Guys, it's fine, really. We can't *cough* blame them for being so bitter. They've just been whittled down to four!" Her cackling was cut short by more coughing.
"Well, we got what we needed," said Sans with a shrug. "Let's get to the voting!"
The campers voted. Chris tallied the votes.
"Campers! The Bass are down to four members tonight, and the results are…"
All five Bass looked at each other, smiling.
"...it's a unanimous vote!"
Jason raised an eyebrow. Darcy's eyes darted about, trying to read the Bass' intentions.
Chris cleared his throat. "Sans, I believe you've chosen to end your journey tonight?"
"Yup. It was getting kinda boring, anyway,"
"Ouch! I thought you guys were having fun,"
"It's not much fun being around without an appreciative audience for my jokes, so I decided to cut to the chase and send myself PACKING. Besides, there's a little lady waiting for me on the other side, and she's CRACKING to watch the videos I just took…"
The boat containing the delegation from Undertale arrived. Papyrus, Sans' brother, was practically fuming. "You could've made it all the way to the Finals! The fans were eating you up!"
"Yeah, as you can see, they've gnawed me down to the bone,"
"GAH! Well, I do believe I know why you chose to leave early" Papyrus slyly nudged his head to a certain part of the boat.
Amethyst was waiting for him, chatting with Undyne and Alphys, apparently in the middle of a joke.
"OH MY GOSH, AM. You're way better at cracking puns than Sans over there!" said Undyne.
"What's this?" asked the skeleton, blipping next to the trio. "I'm not having my crown stolen behind my back, am I?"
"What back?" asked Amethyst.
"Ouch, another palpable hit from the purple princess"
"I'm no princess, Sans. I'm more of a Gem-next-door"
"I missed you… but I bet you wouldn't wanna miss these videos of Darcy getting her ass pranked to the Moon and back!"
"Now THAT'S what I wanna see…"
Sans and Amethyst proceeded to smooch.
"Oh, get a room, you two!" groaned Papyrus.
"Yoo-hoo, Chris! If you need star quality next season, you know where to call me!" said Mettaton, emerging dramatically from the interior of the boat.
"No way, bolts-for-brains, I'm next! I'm gonna crush the competition!" said Undyne.
"I'm greatly considering having another representative from your crazy fandom next season! Sans' antics have been a huge ratings-puller all season, but I guess all good things must come to an end…" Chris replied.
Sans: Man, I thought I've seen everything since coming up to the surface, but Total Drama showed me one of the most interesting times I've had in years! I met someone who just gets me. I guess she really took up my mind as the competition went, and she was gone, the fun kinda went with her. I mean, she is a party animal. So, I've got no regrets leaving. It's been a real blast, y'all, but I've got a little date at Grillby's to plan out right now. You see what you got me doing, Amethyst? You're a real 'game-changer'!
"Bye guys! I'll see you around soon. Crack some good puns for me! Oh, and Darcy?"
The witch coughed. "Oh, what now?"
"That pie had a laxative in it, too"
"YOU…YOU…YOU!"
A loud noise ripped across the docks.
"Oh, God, Darcy, that's nasty!" said Raymond.
"I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS, SANS, JUST YOU WAIT!"
"You're gonna vote yourself off? Great idea!" replied Sans with a smirk.
Darcy screamed at the boat then finally ran for the bathrooms.
Chris laughed as Darcy got a taste of her own medicine.
"Wow, talk about plans within plans! We're down to just eleven campers! Before the remaining contestants Merge, they'll have to go through a merge of two of our most iconic challenges. Are our campers ready for Chef's gauntlet next week in "Extreme Straining?" Find out next week on TOTAL! DRAMA! FANDOM! ISLAND!"