Potions of Love

Chapter 4

September 16, 2022

Friday evening continues

Kate bids Rick goodnight and again thanks him for his invitation to the Concert, then watches him dejectedly walk back down her sidewalk. She then turns, returning Josh's glare, and enters her apartment.

As soon as Josh closes the door, he starts accusing Kate of two-timing him as soon as he is out of town. He continues his rant until he realizes Kate is not responding.

Josh pauses for a few moments and, in a very stern tone, asks, "Kate, are you listening to me?"

Kate turns, looks at him, and answers, "No, Josh. I will not listen to you or answer until you stop yelling and decide to discuss this situation like adults! And you are jumping the gun here. Rick thought I'd like the artist playing at the Civic Center tonight, so he asked me to attend. Tonight was not a date!"

Josh is upset that Kate isn't responding or reacting as he expected. Josh returned early to surprise her and have some bedroom time with her. It had been a long week, and even though he had a couple of encounters with Alicia, he was ready for Kate. He continues,

"Kate, where do you get off playing like you are the victim? You're the one who stepped out on me when I was out of town. You call that being an adult?" As the words come out of his mouth, Josh realizes he has to be careful and not push Kate too much, or she may sense there is something more going on than him playing the part of the rejected lover.

Kate looks at Josh with eyes of wonder, not believing he has gone off the rails like this; it seems to be a bit much and is definitely out of character. She is experiencing a certain sense of guilt, questioning herself once again if she had made a mistake in meeting Rick at the concert. But nothing happened. They shared a relaxing and enjoyable evening attending a show, nothing more.

Kate takes a deep breath and says, "Josh, I did not step out on you. I can't believe that you would think something like that."

Before she can continue, Josh again loudly says,

"Well, what in the hell do you call it? I am gone all week working, and I come home early to find my girlfriend has been dating another guy. If that isn't stepping out on me, I would like to hear what you call it." Josh has gotten himself worked up again, with his voice rising as he continues his tirade.

Kate puts her hands over her eyes and shakes her head, asking herself, "Where do I start?" Kate lowers her hands and moves to sit on the couch. Josh continues to stand for a few minutes, with his eyes never leaving Kate, before moving and sitting in the chair across from her. "Well!" says Josh.

Kate takes a few calming breaths, remembering some of her yoga exercises, and begins. "Josh, you are blowing this entire evening out of proportion. I did not step out on you. I met a college classmate at a concert and had a cup of coffee. Nothing is going on between us that should cause you to be upset or jealous. If you had been home, I would have invited you to join us. You know how much I enjoy guitar music, and Sammy Rose was here on Campus for a one-night-only concert."

"Oh, yea. A college classmate you meet at a concert then goes out with you for coffee, and he walks you home. Sure, I have no reason to be concerned about him. Well, to me, it sure looked like more than a classmate type of evening," Josh responded, again almost yelling at Kate.

Now Kate is getting upset. "Good grief, Josh. He was being a gentleman and walked me home because it was late. He had offered to call me a cab, but since it was such a nice evening, I wanted to walk home, and he was only being sure I made it home safely."

"Kate, you are not only blind but so naive. Can't you see that all he wants to do is get in your pants?" The minute the words were out, Josh knew he had gone too far.

Kate was also angry now. "Josh, you sit there with your righteous attitude and refuse to even listen to my side of things. I don't believe your behavior and the mean things you have said to me. I thought we had trust in this relationship. I was wrong. Please leave. Now!"

Josh tries to regroup and immediately tones down his volume, saying, "Come on, Kate, you don't mean that."

"Josh, yes, I do mean it. Please leave now."

Josh looks at Kate and knows she means business, so without saying anything further get gets up and heads toward the door. He looks back at Kate and sees she isn't evening looking at him, so he opens the door and walks out without saying another word.

Kate hears the door shut then turns to be sure he has left. She throws herself down on the couch, thinking to herself, "How in the world did things go south so far and so fast." She reviews what just took place in her mind and feels many different emotions. But she continues to come back to the fact Rick is only a classmate, and there is nothing more to the relationship than that of friends. "Why won't Josh even try to understand?" She thinks to herself.

Kate gets up, locks the door, and turns off the lights before heading to her bedroom to call it a night. She has a terrible headache and wants nothing more than to try to get to sleep.

After leaving Kate's apartment, Rick walks back to the Civic Center to pick up his Jeep. Through his entire walk, the scene at Kate's door runs through his mind. How could a night that had been going so well turn out so bad? He is downhearted. He feels like every part of the friendship he has built with Kate has been destroyed by the tall, dark-haired boyfriend. Kate was very gracious through the entire encounter, again thanking him for inviting her to the concert. After leaving, he is worried about what she might be going through with Josh.

Rick continues thinking about Kate during his drive home. He enjoyed every minute of his time with her, and if he is honest with himself, he's beginning to develop profound feelings for her. The "L" word even pops into his thoughts as he's pulling into the parking area at his apartment. He slams on the brakes and asks himself, "Where in the world did that thought come from?"

Rick quietly sits in his Jeep for a few minutes before dragging himself into his apartment. He hangs up his coat and throws his keys on the TV before heading into the kitchen to get a bottle of water. He turns on the light and stops. At least Neddie is giving him a break as she hadn't gotten into the garbage while he was gone. He grabs a bottle of water from the refrigerator and heads to his bedroom to get ready for bed. Rick goes through his usual routine then drops into bed with two aspirin and water. He doubts if he will get any sleep and is glad it's Friday night, and he doesn't have any plans for Saturday, not remembering he had agreed to meet the guys Saturday night. He is thinking about Kate, concerned about their relationship and what might have happened between her and Josh.

Josh wakes up Saturday morning, somewhat calmer than he had been the night before. He knows he is a jealous SOB, but he can't control his reactions. Josh justifies his reactions and accepts no blame for what happened with Kate.

Kate is gorgeous, and he sees how other guys look at her whenever they are out. It drives him nuts, but most of the time, he outwardly controls his emotions by either taking Kate's hand or pulling her closer to stake out his territory.

Kate knows Josh has a jealous streak and senses he often struggles to control himself, but he had nothing to worry about last night. And he overreacted, which is more troubling for her this morning. Kate's seen his jealous reactions before, even when she would say hello to another guy in passing. His blow-up last night and complete unwillingness to even listen to her side or believe her was very strange, even for Josh. She again asks herself if she made a mistake by meeting with Rick last evening. She doesn't feel she was wrong in her heart, and they aren't dating. But she tries to visualize last evening from Josh's point of view.

Kate's phone rings and she sees Josh's picture pop up. She isn't ready to talk to him yet, but if she doesn't answer, she is afraid he will charge back over and make another scene. Kate slides the answer bar on the phone and says, "Hello."

Josh senses Kate's reserved tone when she answers the phone, so he assumes the same demeanor and, rather quietly, says, "Morning Kate."

Kate replies in the same neutral tone, "Morning, Josh." But she doesn't add any more to the conversation.

Now Josh is feeling uncomfortable but plods on responding, " Um, we have plans to have dinner tonight, and I was calling to see what time was going to work best for you?"

The line is quiet, and there is no response from Kate. Kate pulls the phone away from her ear and stares at his picture on the screen, not believing he is calling and talking so casually as if nothing had happened the night before. She puts the phone back up to her ear and says, "Josh, after last evening, I don't feel like getting together for dinner."

Josh isn't sure how to respond, so he goes into his usual mode of trying to change her mind and says, "Come on, Kate, you still can't be upset; let's get over it and get back to doing what we do so well. Meet me for dinner, and I can guarantee we'll have a great time."

Kate is stunned by his cavalier attitude. "No, Josh. I am not over last night, and I don't want to go out to dinner with you tonight. Good-bye." and Kate disconnects the call.

Josh can't believe she hung up on him, but he knows Kate well enough not to push her more right now. He smiles to himself and says, "I'll surprise her tomorrow morning. She'll love it, and we can then get back on track." Josh is happy with his plan and goes about his day as if nothing happened last night.

Since Kate has turned down Josh's dinner date, she decides to take advantage of the opportunity to have a day to herself. She's not an acoustic guitarist, but she can hold her own. She pulls out her music sheets and guitar and begins working on a song she has been writing for the last couple of months. It doesn't take long before Kate is lost in her new music and its lyrics, and soon all thoughts of both Josh and Rick are washed from her mind for a few hours.

Kate calls it quits around 10:00 pm, feeling a little calmer. She goes about her usual evening routine and reads for about an hour before turning over to try and go to sleep. As hard as Kate tries not to, her mind is trailing off to thoughts of Rick and their evening at the concert. It had been fantastic, no pressure, and was one of the more relaxed evenings she had had in a long time. She falls asleep feeling more at peace than she had anticipated.

For Rick, the weekend is terrible. He wakes up Saturday morning in a stupor and decides it would be a good day to shut out the world. He turns off his phone, climbs back into bed, and sleeps until late in the afternoon. He gets up to feed the cat and fix a light lunch, but he isn't even hungry. For the remainder of the weekend, Rick ends up reading the paper, watching TV and vegging out on junk food, and of course, dumping his heart out to Neddie.

There is an early morning knock at Kate's door. She is up but in no mood to have company. She opens the door, and a timid-looking Josh is standing there with a bag from her favorite bakery along with what she assumes is her favorite coffee. Kate doesn't say a word, and Josh stands there moving from foot to foot.

He had leveled some pretty harsh and hurtful comments to her Friday night, and after he settled down a little, he sensed he may have gone too far. He thinks to himself, "Time to turn on the charm and get them back on track."

Josh holds up the bag and coffee and says, "Can I come in?" as he walks past Kate without waiting for her answer. "I wanted to start your Sunday off right with some of your favorite goodies. Let's sit down and enjoy some breakfast together."

Kate stands at the door, not believing what is taking place right before her eyes. She can't even formulate a response to Josh and his blase attitude.

He sits at the small table by the living room window and moves a chair out with his foot saying, "Come on, Babe, sit down."

Kate moves to the table but doesn't say anything. She takes a sip of the coffee and pulls off a small piece of the danish, then looks at Josh and says, "What are you doing, Josh? What is all of this about?"

Josh can tell by her tone that this little surprise isn't going over as well as he had hoped. They would usually gush over his charm with other girls and hang onto his every word. He knows Kate, and maybe he shouldn't be so surprised by her chilly reception. He nods toward their pastries, and they continue to eat in silence for a few minutes. Josh tries to make small talk and even leans in and tries to kiss Kate, but she dodges him and slides her chair out from the table. He tries to apologize, but he gets frustrated with Kate's attitude.

"Kate, what's going on?" he foolishly asks. "You can't still be upset about Friday night? Hey, I forgive you. Let's move on and forget it ever happened."

Kate's eyes nearly pop out of her head, and she says, "Excuse me. What did you say?"

Josh is slow on the uptick and repeats, "I said I forgive you, and let's just forget it." He sees the flash of anger in Kate's eyes and knows he just made a huge mistake.

"You have got to be kidding me." Kate fumes. "You walk in here Friday night, accusing me of stepping out on you and implying that I am not faithful to our relationship, and now you want to forget it ever happened? Do I hear you correctly?"

Josh knows this conversation isn't going as he had hoped, so he tries to diffuse the situation by saying,

"Kate, I do forgive you for going out with another guy. I know it was nothing, and I want us to get back to being ourselves."

Kate feels like she should count to 100 before responding. Josh is an arrogant type of guy, but this is even pushing the end of his envelope. She again takes several deep breaths and says, "Josh, can I ask you a question?"

Josh gives her a big smile and says, "Sure, Kate, ask away."

Kate leans forward in her chair, staring Josh in the eyes, and begins.

"Josh, I want to be sure I understand what you are saying. You are forgiving me for meeting a guy at a concert and having a coffee afterward. Is that correct?"

Before Josh can respond, Kate continues, so he nods. "Okay, my question is simple. Can you tell me that you have never spoken with, maybe had lunch with, walked across campus with, or worked on a class assignment with a FEMALE?"

Josh gulps, thinking about his recent encounters with Alicia during his rotation at Hennipen. He prays Kate doesn't find out about that. He stumbles over his thoughts and words and says, "That's not the point."

Kates raises her eyebrows and says, "It's not? Please do tell!"

Josh has a deer in the headlight's look and tries to talk his way out of his stupid comment. He says,

"Kate, you know what I mean. I just wanted you to know that I am over you meeting with that guy from your class."

Kate sits there and stares at Josh, causing him to squirm in his chair. His non-response to her question, asking what types of contacts he has had with other girls, throws up some red flags. She knows Josh well enough to sense he is hiding something. Well, today isn't the day to pursue it. She already has another headache, and she wants him to leave. But before she tells him to go, she turns the screws a little more.

"Josh, is there something that you are not telling me?"

"No, Kate! I swear."

Kate knows they need some time apart, so she says,

"Josh, this isn't going good right now. It would be best if you thought about what you've said this morning and the questions I asked you. We need to take a break. You leave and go think about things, and maybe we can try and talk again next weekend."

Josh is shocked. He never thought Kate would have that type of response. He knows she is upset with him, but to refuse to see him for at least a week, was unexpected. Josh is upset and wants to argue with her, but his brain is working for once, and he knows he doesn't dare push her further today. He stands and agrees to a one-week hiatus. He wishes her a good week and heads toward the door, telling her he will see her next weekend.

Kate follows him to the door, not responding to his closing comments. Once he is out of the door, she locks it and leans back against it, releasing a heavy sigh. She had not expected any of this, and she is a little nervous, but she knows she needs to decide on her next steps.

Josh pauses on Kate's doorstep outside, and his attitude does a 180! He will be damned if he will let some little pissant come between him and Kate. Josh heard Kate call him Rick and mentioned she would see him in labs next week. He will use his charm on the new medical studies admin office assistant, track him down, and set him straight!

Monday morning finds Kate already sitting at their lab table. Sunday had been an emotional rollercoaster, and having had a restless night, she is not at her peak and has been struggling to get her mind back on the tasks ahead for today's lab. Additionally, her thoughts are bouncing in several directions, which isn't helping her determine her next steps with Josh and Rick. She is still overwhelmed by Josh's reactions on Sunday. The more she has thought about their conversation, the more sure she is that he is either hiding something or has another plan he wants to try. She lowers her head for a few moments in hopes of relieving the pressure that is building in her forehead. She doesn't need another headache to hit her right now.

Rick arrives at the lab a few minutes earlier than usual and sees that Kate is already at their table. He stands in the doorway, watching her, and can tell she is tense, especially when he sees her dropping her head with her hands pressed to each side. Rick has no idea what she has been through since he left her apartment Friday evening, but all his senses tell him it isn't good. He takes a deep breath and moves toward their table. His mind is spinning about what he should say, but he continues moving toward Kate.

He hangs his coat on the chair and places his books on the side table before sitting down beside Kate. She doesn't look up, so he quietly says, "Hi, Kate."

Kate raises her head, but without looking at him, she returns his greeting with a simple, "Hi." Kate feels guilty about being so cool toward Rick, especially since none of what is happening is his fault. She's struggling with what to say next but is saved from making a decision when Professor Andrews asks for the student's attention so that the class can begin.

Much to the surprise of both Rick and Kate, Professor Andrews then requests that one member from each table stand and move to a different lab location as he wants new teams in place for the upcoming assignment. Rick and Kate share a shocked look, but Rick makes the first move and stands to move to a new partner. Rick pauses, thinking to himself, "Geez, is the entire universe working against me this morning?" But instead of voicing that thought, he looks at Kate and says, "Guess I'll see you later. I hope the lab goes well for you."

Kate finally looks at Rick and sees the deep sadness in his eyes, and quietly returns the same wish, "You too, Rick. I hope it goes well for you too."

Rick tries to smile, then nods and moves to a new table across the room. Kate's eyes follow Rick as he dejectedly moves across the room to a table where one of the guys from his bio-chem class is sitting. Fortunately, her new lab partner pulls out a chair at that exact moment, sits down, and introduces herself, "Hi, I'm Emily."

Kate smiles and says, "Hi, I'm Kate." Then both girls turn their attention to Professor Andrews as he outlines his plan and expectations for their next assignment. Kates quickly glances across the room and can tell that Rick is also trying to concentrate on what the professor is saying, but she can see his strained expression and knows he is struggling to follow the instructions.

The next three hours drag on, and Kate continues to struggle to keep her thoughts on the new assignment. As soon as the lab is over, Kate grabs her coat and books and makes a beeline for the door. Rick watches Kate almost run out of class and wants to follow her, but he can't get away from his new partner, Mike, who is asking him several questions about the new lab assignment. Rick sighs and returns his attention to his new partner and tries to help him better understand how the new project will work.

When Rick finally leaves the lab, he looks around, but Kate is nowhere in sight.

"Where would she have gone?"

he asks himself.

It's about lunchtime, so he takes a chance that Kate may have gone back to the Gonda building. Sure enough, his guess was correct, and she was sitting by herself at a table in the back of the room, looking out the window.

He slowly walks toward her table, being careful to stay in her line of sight so as not to startle her. "May I sit down?" he gently asks. Kate looks up, pauses then nods her head. Rick sits down, and they are both quiet, absorbed in their thoughts for the next several minutes.

Rick starts to speak, but Kate holds up her hand and asks, "Can I go first?" Rick nods and waits. Kate has bent her head down again, and her long hair falls on both sides of her face, and Rick cannot see her expression. Kate raises her head, and it is now Rick's turn to see the sadness in her eyes. Rick's heart breaks when he thinks about what brought on those feelings to his special friend.

Kate takes a breath and says,

"Rick, I am so sorry about what happened on Friday night. Josh had no right to act like he did when you walked me to the door. He was rude, and his comments were uncalled for. It was so gracious of you to invite me to the concert, and I enjoyed hearing Sammy play in person. It was a fun night, and I want to thank you again for the evening." Then she is quiet again.

Rick wonders if he should speak yet, but when the quiet lingers, he says,

"Kate, you are so very welcome. It was a delightful evening for me too."

Kate takes another deep breath and sadly says, "Rick, I am so sorry, but right now, I think we need to keep our contact with each limited to labs and classes only. I need to respect Josh's concerns and not get together with other guys outside of my classes." She knows her reasoning sounds lame, and if she is honest with herself, her heart does not agree with that statement. But as long as she is still with Josh, she needs to work on that relationship or take the time necessary to determine her next steps with him and not have any other type of male interactions outside of her classes.

Again, she can't believe what she says to Rick; it sounds archaic. And thinking those thoughts again causes her doubts about Josh to multiply. It is more evident to her that there is a lack of trust in their relationship, mainly on Josh's end. But the fact that he would not answer her question about his contacts with other girls is also resurfacing as she wrestles with so many differing emotions.

Rick has been patiently sitting at the table watching the waterfall of thoughts and expressions race across Kate's face. He senses she is struggling with the comments she has just shared with him, and he isn't sure how to respond. He continues to see the deep sadness in her eyes, and his heart is breaking for her yet again.

Rick stands, takes a deep breath, and quietly responds, "Okay, Kate. Take care of yourself." He puts on his coat, picks up his books, and walks away from Kate.

Kate watches Rick as he leaves, asking herself,

"Why does it hurt so bad to watch him walk away? I didn't even have an opportunity to respond to him, but what would I have said to him?"

Kate's heart is torn and hurting, which only confirms that she needs some time to herself to seriously decide her next steps with Josh and figure out what is going on between her and Rick. She shakes her head and knows she doesn't have an appetite, so she gathers her coat and books and leaves the building and her lunch to go cold before her emotions can take over.