I did not take much. Several changes of clothes, all my money, my revolver, and one picture each of both Holmes and Mary fit easily into a small carrysack, and I briefly debated leaving a note behind. Would anyone care what happened to me?
Lestrade, maybe, or Mrs. Hudson. Mrs. Hudson had sought me out a handful of times since the funeral, and Lestrade had tried to help over the last several months, even going so far as to invite me to his home and out with his family. I never accepted, of course, but he would probably appreciate a message saying I was safe.
Except I struggled to find the words. Unable to announce where I was going—Mrs. Hudson and Lestrade both knew of the magical, but I had no way to ensure only they would see a note—I ended up scribbling something about leaving London and wishing them well. The folded paper landed by the keys I no longer needed, and my friend met me in the hall.
"Are you ready?"
I nodded, taking one last glance around my empty house. Mary had stood in that corner when Holmes invited her on her first case. Holmes had pulled that chair to the bedroom when Mary and I fell sick at the same time. Mary had first showed me a gender-neutral frock from that place on the settee—
Pain lanced through me, dulled only faintly beneath my numbed barrier. Nicolas gripped my arm before I could shove the memory away.
My friend made travel effortless. Some humans complained that magical travel felt like being torn apart then pieced back together, but I had always likened it more to walking through a door. We disappeared from the hall and reappeared on the roof a moment later.
Dasher let out a sympathetic grunt, turning his head to eye me from his position in the lead as the others stamped a hello. Their breaths rose like white clouds in the bright sunlight, and the observation struck me. Father Christmas could not usually come this far into the human world after sunup.
"They cannot see me," he said when I tried to voice as much, "even the clear-sighted ones. 'Tis part of that addendum. Hand me your bag."
My carrysack disappeared into the storage compartment in the back of the sleigh, and he helped me to the seat before climbing up himself.
"Hang on tightly," he reminded me, pointing out the handles specifically for passengers. "Take-off gets rather bumpy without snow."
The reins flicked as I secured my hold, and I watched in wonder as the reindeer used the roof's slope to gain the momentum we needed. Within moments, we soared over the bustling city, then rolling hills and country roads. I settled deeper in the seat, ignoring the detective next to me to watch the scenery change. This was more interesting than spending the day in my room.
A train sent plumes of black smoke above one station. Several carts kicked up dust near another station. Horses galloped through an ocean-side field. I leaned slightly over the edge for a better view.
"Will you make me a promise?"
The question reached my ears after the animals disappeared, drifting across the sleigh to pull my attention away from the rocky coast below. I looked through the ghost still seated between us to find him staring intently at the horizon. What could he want to ask that would make him so uncomfortable?
"If I can."
He directed his words at the reindeer, though that did not prevent me from hearing how hesitant they were. "If you decide to leave, tell me first?"
"Of course," I said immediately. Why would I not? Miles of ocean meant I could not leave the Pole without help.
"John." Something in his voice begged me to listen harder. "By any method."
Oh. Understanding washed over me with painful clarity, and I suddenly had trouble looking at him. He had heard more of my thoughts than I had realized.
"I will not leave that way," I said quietly. "I promised Meredith years ago, just as she promised me."
Tension drained slowly from his shoulders, and one callused hand clapped me gently on the arm.
"Thank you," he nearly whispered. Silence settled between us once more, and I directed my gaze at the white-capped waves.
A whale broke the surface, sending up a spray of seawater as it took a breath, and a small dot suggested a fisherman, but the oceans north of Scotland rarely hosted people. I found very little to watch until sunlight glistened off an icy city.
"You have grown since I was last here."
I leaned over the edge again. Several new houses dotted the city's edge, and more people bustled up and down the streets than I remembered seeing on my last visit.
"We have." The sadness in the words announced he knew I was simply being polite, but he still struggled to hide his pride in his city. "Three families moved from further north for the sake of their children, and two humans reached the Age of Decision last year. Their decision to stay gained us an accountant and a medical intern. When he is fully trained, our current doctor intends to travel the rest of the country helping other villages."
Villages? "I thought everyone lived within a day's ride of the city?"
"Oh, no." We circled the Great House—apparently to make Meredith scream, as Nicolas laughed. "Humans may think this area nothing but ice flows, but we have villages all over the planet's northern region. Magic keeps explorers out of our plane."
"Plane?" I repeated.
"Of existence. Do not worry about it," he continued at my confusion. "I would need to explain more about magic and a few of the laws of our world for you to understand. We will have time later if you want to learn."
I shrugged, looking back at the small crowd gathering to welcome Father Christmas. The information would be interesting, as would the time spent with my friend, but I would not enter the conversation unable to pay attention. Mary had replaced Holmes next to me, and it took all my concentration not to watch her joyously point out the sparkling city.
She had a right to be excited. Unlike human depictions, the Pole was a cleaner, snowier version of an ancient king's seat. With a large, brightly lit house taking the place of the castle, the city spread in all directions, ever-growing circles jumping snow drifts and ice-covered hills. Icicles glinted in the sunlight, carts traveled here and there on firmly trampled paths, and merchant cries drifted from the town square, hawking their wares to all who would listen. Ten or so beings—elves, a living snowman, two humans, even a few faeries—waited for us to land.
The temperature dropped along with us. The abrupt chill tried to catch in the back of my throat, but for all that we were so far north, the cold did not press as it had in London. I wore nothing more than the light coat and hat I would have donned for a cool spring day, yet the sun felt almost warm. My scars' throbbing subsided to a slight ache for the first time in days. I could get used to the lack of physical pain.
"Hello, my dear."
Meredith appeared through the onlookers the moment we stopped, going straight to Nicolas for a chaste kiss, and I looked away. My friend had made no secret of their relationship—they waited only Meredith's Age of Decision before Nicolas would ask her hand—but that did not mean I wanted to watch. I missed my Mary too much to be able to look on their happiness without pain.
Mary chuckled next to me, happily watching as Meredith chided Nicolas for something. I stared at her instead of them.
"It is good to see you, John."
Meredith studied me when I tore my gaze from Mary, the sadness in her eyes recognizing the same grief I had seen in her so many years ago. Nicolas helped me to the ground, where she wrapped me in a quick hug before claiming my bag.
"I can carry that."
"Nope." The straps landed higher on her shoulder as Mary and Holmes silently bickered over who would walk on my other side. "You carry that stick of yours. Goodness knows I don't need to hear you complain about slick walkways again."
Amusement bubbled into the faintest grin. Meredith had been there from the immediate aftermath of my injury until we both recovered from the enteric fever, when she had left with Nicolas. Before getting sick, I had griped almost daily about how difficult it was to gain purchase with my cane on the sand-covered floors.
"We're putting you on the first level," she said when I remained quiet, one arm slipping through mine to lead me to the house, "partway down the east hallway. You're only a few doors away from the library in one direction and the smaller dining room in the other. You'll be close enough to the main part of the house to take part if you like, but separated enough you certainly do not have to."
I nodded a thanks. I doubted I would ever "take part" in the bustle of their daily tasks, but I might linger at the edges to watch occasionally. Sometimes, watching others became a useful distraction.
Footsteps hurried up to Father Christmas behind us, and he paused several feet from the door. I followed Meredith's gaze to find him staring at me, an older elf waiting patiently by his side.
"Seems one of the elves had a spell backfire," he told us. "I need to help clean up the area. Will you join us for supper, John? It will only be the three of us."
His gesture indicated Meredith as the third, and I hesitated but nodded. The company might be nice, even if I did not eat. Meredith squeezed her gratitude as we resumed our slow walk, but I felt Nicolas' gaze on me until the door closed behind us.
A wave of color flooded my vision. High ceilings revealed a balcony on the next floor, and flowers and greenery covered old-fashioned architecture to give the room a bright, celebratory feel. In place of the reds and greens that comprised the Pole's Christmas decorations, intricate sprays of the northern flowers I could never name joined snapdragons, orchids, and lilies of all colors and patterns.
Lilies. Primarily white and pale yellow, they covered one entire wall. I abruptly focused on my feet.
"Oh, John! They're beautiful!"
She buried her face in the blooms, inhaling the creamy scent in pure delight. I smiled at her pleasure.
"There is a florist a few blocks over with too many of them. He said you could have more, if there are any left tomorrow afternoon."
She wrapped me in a warm embrace, flowers forgotten when she realized I had searched the city for her gift.
"I love you."
"And I love you."
"Here we are!" Meredith opened one of the hallway's many doors. The memory faded as she ushered me into the room, and I tried to cover a sigh. I would not have minded staying in that one for a while.
A large bed sat against the far wall, with two doors sandwiching a wardrobe on the left and a rug taking most of the middle of the floor. One door led into the washroom, while the other opened to an office, and brilliant sunlight gleamed off furniture and walls alike. Unlike some of the more ornate guest rooms I had seen on my previous visit, this one was simple yet adequate. I struggled to find the words to thank her.
Another gentle squeeze announced she knew what I could not voice. "Luncheon is in the Dining Hall at noon. I will see you for supper in the smaller dining room you and Kris used last time you visited, but if you need or want something before then, please ask."
I would never ask for anything, but I nodded anyway. A small smile conveyed how glad she was that I had come as the door clicked shut behind her, mercifully leaving me alone.
My bag landed on the floor with a thump. I would unpack later. For now, an hour's nap might convince Holmes to go haunt the library. I wanted to feel Mary's arms again.
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