Disclaimer: These characters belong to Aaron Sorkin and the masterpiece that is the 2006 television series Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip. I am not making any profit from this except for a little writing practice.
Suzanne clocked in early as she always did. Matt Albie wasn't an early riser or especially energised of a morning. But he did get to work hours before anybody else and was known for working long into the night until he fell asleep at his desk. He was burning himself out, running himself ragged, procrastinating ceaselessly and then finding inspiration and working non-stop. Suzanne understood why alcohol hadn't been enough to quiet his mind. Much as she hated to admit that she understood him and addiction.
She always came in early. Never to wake him, although she would press hard and long on Tom's bullhorn to wake him up before the crew's shift started. That was her job. She got there when he did and left when he did. only sometimes Matt fell asleep at his desk after sending her home even though she begged him to go home himself.
It hadn't happened so much at the beginning of her role as his assistant, Matthew often ducking ou respectable time. it was still hours after everyone else, but at least he had gone home. of late, that hadn't been the case.
So, out of respect for Matthew Albie, Suzanne got to work early and woke him before anyone saw him drooling on his keyboard with letters etched into his cheek.
Only, Matt wasn't in his office this morning.
His office was unlocked, the main door to her little alcove open. The glass door to his office was open, too.
Suzanne's first thought was an awful one.
The doors were normally locked unless someone was in the room. Not for fear of theft of electronics but ideas, intellectual property, especially Matthew Albie's, was a hot commodity. There were unemployed writers out there who were claiming he stole their ideas. Matt was probably not being all that paranoid when he insisted his doors be locked and his curtains closed of a night.
She'd confronted him on Friday about how he was feeling and how he was self-medicating to dispel those sullen and hopeless emotions, wishing he'd turn numb from the pain of loneliness and his frustrations with every aspect of his job. Or a few key triggers from it anyway.
They hadn't talked much but Suzanne had been watching him. She'd had a front-row seat to Matthew Albie's neurones firing since she'd been promoted and she had seen him change over the last few weeks.
It had been gradual. But it had started the week after the hiatus. In hindsight, Suzanne realised it had started that week. But at the time, stress and trying to charm Harriet and trying to distract Danny from moping about Jordan had disguised that anything was amiss.
Even the following week, the buzz around the studio had pulled her attention away from Matthew and Suzanne kicked herself for not recognising what was going on for what it was. Matthew was quiet, sullen. He claimed a fight with Harriet was the cause, that it was worse than usual but he'd be fine as long as Suzanne kept one eye on the door and didn't let the singer in.
Then Danny and Jordan had walked in and declared to everyone, in accordance with the NBS HR department policy, that they were in a relationship. Danny and Jordan. Tom and Lucy. But not Harriet and Matt, even after all he had done for her. Which on one hand Suzanne thought was very sweet. And on the other she wished Matt had just taken the money and taken Harriet to Maui as he had joked.
She had put Matt's dejected behaviour down to the fact that love was in the air but still out of his reach.
She shouldn't have.
Suzanne didn't actually put two and two together until the third bout of critical media hounding the falling ratings. Matt had shrugged like he always did and smiled sadly, his fingers shaking slightly as he poured himself a drink.
Suzanne had studied him then. She wasn't sure why she suddenly read his agitated behaviour as atypical, or his sadness as more than just heartbreak, but it had all clicked into place on Friday morning.
She confronted him about it when the live show aired.
Suzanne had lost one parent to addiction. And she hadn't been exaggerating when she claimed Matt Albie was her role model. This man was soft and gentle and impeccably talented. He was so focused and indefatigable. He was meticulous and each week wrote ninety minutes of television almost by himself, which he memorised for the board and the read and the dress.
Come to think of it, it was probably the fact that he hadn't corrected Danny when he made a general statement about the number of sketches and when he mixed up Nancy Grace with Holly Hunter.
He was sweet, the way he made the studio a safe space for Lucy to cry in his arms. He was a leader but relished in others bringing him suggestions like Simon bringing him Darius and the cast bringing him sketch ideas. And he was kind, selfless in a sacrificial sort of way. What other man would allow Lucy and Rom the same night off for a date, even though they were meant to be writing with him. He let Harriet spend all hours of the night on Luke's set because he didn't want to seem pretty but also because he knew how huge a break the movie was for Harriet and he didn't want to jeapordise that, even if it meant slipping ratings and cruel reviews.
Even at his worst, his most vulnerable, he was kind and nurturing. As he displayed when he reached out to comfort her with a whispered nickname and tears in his eyes as she had told him about her mother.
Months ago, she had naively asked if Matthew Albie was going to save them. He had blushed and scoffed but he had done just that.
Ricky and Ron and the toxic writing staff were gone. The ratings were their best ever. They were at a lull now but Matt claimed ratings were cyclical and it was nothing to worry too much about. and even if anxiety was warranted, they weren't the lowest ratings ever. Lucy was happy. Suzanne had a better job. The actors had more of a say in showcasing their skills and therefore occupation enjoyment. Things were better under Matt's employ.
Now was her chance to return the favour.
Suzanne wasn't about to lose another parental figure to addiction. Not if she could help it.
But Suzanne had taken Matt's body language and shamed expression as genuine, she had believed him when he said he was "mad at me" and that he "already had" stopped. It was a huge step, admittance. And she believed that guilty look in Matthew's eyes when he said he was done.
But a lot has happened on Friday night, a lot that might trigger a relapse.
Danny had a baby with Jordan under duress. They were all fine now but Danny wasn't around to keep an eye on Matt and his sobriety. He had a family to be with instead. Matt might have been with them, he was family, in his and Danny's minds after all.
Tom was on a plane to pick up his brother and he had until Thursday off to be with his family. Crazy things had happened with Simon and there had been a fight with Mary and Jack, probably because of Matt's withdrawal irritability, that could have made him turn back to the pills he had been taking.
Suzanne wasn't quite sure where Harriet for into the equations. Matt had said they were getting back together but Suzanne didn't think it likely he would have told Harriet he'd been getting high to avoid a lot of painful things, one of which was her.
Plus, Suzanne didn't know if that was a spur of the moment, romance in a crisis sort of soft, "back together" or a serious one. She suspected it was the latter, given how hard the pair of them had fought to return to each other, but she didn't want to jinx them by assuming.
All of those events factored into Suzanne's sweep of Matthew's office and sent her into a panic.
Suzanne remembered hearing Matt say he was going to use his (withdrawal related, which he didn't mention explicitly but Suzanne inferred from her own experiences with her mother and her research after her mother had died and she was trying to figure out why? what else could she have done?) insomnia to get a head start on the next week's show.
Suzanne didn't expect him to work the whole weekend, two days cooped up in his office while he rested on the couch. But whenever he announced that he was staying late, Matt always left a not on his or her desk to explain that he'd gone home, or out for waffles.
Suzanne ran her eyes across the dark wood desk, finding no yellow sticky note or scrap of paper. She rummaged over the whole rest, leaving it a mess in her desperation, but found nothing.
Nothing on his lever desk le the coffee table either. And nothing on her own.
Suzanne was sure she wasn't hyperventilating as she reached for her phone, planning on risking Danny to see if Matt was with his best friend, she was more levelheaded than that. But her fingers shook as she stabbed the numbers and her heart was racing. So much so that she pushed her hand against her ribcage so it didn't piston right out of her. Who knew what Matt's state of mind would be like. He wanted children but his best friend was having them, his surrogate little brother was flying overseas to be with his freshly released hostage brother. He'd spent the night being hit on by Mary and in the gaps of all that, still found a way to endear himself to Harriet.
A lot of overwhelming changes were occurring between them. Suzanne would not be surprised or disappointed. It was a lot to contend with.
And even if everything was fine now, or had been when they left on Friday, what happened when Harriet found out about the illicit drug use?
Suzanne had to be prepared for that fallout.
Matt could not be alone and Suzanne needed to find him now to make sure that he wasn't.
The phone trilled against her ear, vibrating in her jaw, while her heart stammered in her chest.
It was fine. He was probably fine. His best friend had just had a baby.
"Hi can you patch me through to Jordan McDeere's room?" she asked the receptionist who answered her call.
Matt was likely with Danny, meeting his niece.
Or sleeping off the stress of last week.
The best part of all the drama of Friday night and Saturday morning had been that Suzanne had been able to keep her eye on Matt. She'd seen his shaking fingers and his conscious effort to not have a drink even though the events of the day would definitely warrant one. He'd been slightly more irritable than normal, definitely snippy on the phone, and hadn't seemed the slightest bit fatigued. He appeared to be dealing with withdrawal symptoms quite well. He didn't seem to have them too badly. But that may have changed. Maybe his body was hunched over a toilet bowl. Maybe he was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, feverish and cold and wishing he was dead.
For all she knew, Matthew had tried to combat that by walking into a drug store and buying some over-the-counter painkillers.
Suzanne slapped her palm against her desk. No! She wasn't going to think like that. She wasn't going to confuse her boss with her mother. She wasn't going to plan for the worst-case scenario. She was going to wait to talk to Danny.
The phone was still ringing by her ear. How long did it take to answer?
Then she heard it. Footfalls and a soft, tinkering sound.
She heard Harriet's laughter first. A quiet, bell-like sound that was a high pitched ting that echoed around the room. But a lower laugh followed it soon after, not quite as high-pitched, and more breathy. But definitely a man.
Suzanne had spent months sitting in the office beside Matthew's and sitting beside him in rehearsals. She'd only heard it a handful of times but its rarity made it memorable.
She'd know his laughter anywhere.
That was Matthew.
She hung up the phone.
She probably shouldn't have, probably should have waited to explain why she had interrupted their morning, or bid Danny and Jordan a happy Last Day In Hospital, anything to mask her reasons for calling. But Suzanne wasn't even thinking of being polite.
She slammed the phone into the cradle and rounded her desk in a hurry.
Suzanne moved towards the connecting door between her office and Matt's, chasing the sound of his laughter. She could see him and Harriet through the half-closed slats of the blinds at the opposite entrance to his office. Only when she saw Matthew come through the doorway did Suzanne exhale.
Harriet entered first, backwards, facing Matt. And Matthew's tall frame towered over her, grinning, as though he were pushing her through the doorway.
Their voices were low and rumbling as they spoke to each other, but Suzanne couldn't decipher what they were saying. She didn't think she wanted to.
That woman was good for him. She didn't want to know what tactics Harriet had used to coax Matt into going home but she was glad for it.
She had always suspected a big reason why Matthew hadn't wanted to leave was because his house was haunted by the memory of being committed to Harriet Hayes and the hallowed halls reminded him that he was without her.
It was clearly an intimate moment they were having, but Suzanne wasn't about to slip out quietly and give them privacy. She was seeing red. Unfounded, for the most part. But she had been terrified, nearing a coronary, a moment earlier.
Harriet swayed her hips and rounded an end table easily, her arms stretched forward. Given the way she's seen them interact on Saturday morning, Suzanne assumed she was reaching for Matt's lapels, keeping him close. Matthew reached his arms around Harriet, one hand gentle against her hip, the other tangling in her curly blonde tresses to cup her head and descend his lips over Harriet's.
Suzanne cleared her throat and crossed her arms over her chest.
Harriet flinched and took a step sideways. Matt looked up slowly, like he was annoyed to have been interrupted but his lips were pursed together into a sheepish frown.
Harriet didn't move far from him, snuggling herself into Matt's side and Suzanne watched as his arm, without did eyes dropping to see what she'd done or where she was, lifted to make room for her. Matthew's hand peeked out around the curve of Harriet's hip, along the waistband of her jeans. Harriet reached for his fingers and pulled his hand across her navel, pressing it against herself and threading their fingers.
They looked happy together. Natural. Like this was the way it was supposed to be.
As keenly as Suzanne was watching them, Matt must have been searching her face and body language too and it was evident he didn't like what he saw.
The man spared a glance downward toward Harriet, who looked back up at him but a moment too late. Matt had already turned his attention back to his assistant and was making a move toward her.
He made his voice that murmuring exhale, paternal and concerned, "Oh, Suzanne."
She shrugged, tightening her hold around herself. "I was worried when you weren't around."
"Thank you," Harriet chimed in. "Thank you for worrying about him."
Matt shook his head, not looking backwards to the blonde, his eyes searching Suzanne's face. "I'm sorry I worried you. That was thoughtless of me."
Suzanne shook her head. There was a lump in her throat all of a sudden. She wanted to apologise for assuming the worst of him. For jumping to conclusions. For thinking no one else was looking out for him, even though he clearly had people around him he'd turn to before he turned to her. But she choked on her emotion and simply shook her head instead. She'd been so scared.
Without thinking about how it wasn't her place and he was her boss, Suzanne barrelled forward, slamming into Matthew's chest in a fierce hug.
Matt held her in a warm embrace for a few moments before stepping backwards to look at her evenly.
"I know it's not your job," Matt's blue eyes implored her. "But I know how public those meetings Danny goes to can be. Do you mind if I maybe talk to you about how I'm feeling sometimes?"
Suzanne ducked her head and smiled. As long as Matt was taking sobriety seriously, she'd be there for him. There were surely other people he could turn to for this - Danny, Danny's sponsor, Harriet, even Simon, but he was inviting her into the fold and Suzanne accepted, proud to be considered worthy of Matthew Albie's trust. "I'd like that."
"Okay."
"Okay," she smiled wetly, nodding.
"Okay," Matt ducked his head to meet her eyes one more time. "Now go home, or go get breakfast, on me. No more coming in this early."
Suzanne could have melted at how sweet the sentiment was. Matt recognised she was concerned about him and was letting her know she didn't need to be anymore. This was his way of telling her he'd be making a conscious effort to be better. But she also wasn't blind.
"If you want a minute with Harriet," Suzanne laughed as she backed towards her door. "All you had to do was say so."
Matthew pulled his lips together tightly and blushed slightly. Behind him, Harriet did the same.
Suzanne knew him well enough to know he wasn't about to say something lude or suggestive, but the light in his blue eyes and the way he beamed when he turned around to glance at Harriet, even though his arms and shoulders were tensed like he was trying not to, Harriet responding with a matching smile, communicated everything Matt was thinking.
"You've got a meeting over at NBS about hiring new writers, an audition of sorts, at two," Suzanne reminded him as she gathered her things from her desk. "It's important. Don't forget."
"I won't," Matt sing-songed back, half amused and half annoyed that she'd felt the need to remind him. He could be uppity that way all the way up to the meeting but as the day progressed and it came closer to time, he'd inevitably forget.
"He won't," Harriet promised, moving to stand beside Matt again.
The man sent her a confounded glare and Harriet's lips twisted in amusement. Suzanne found herself grinning, so different from how she'd felt only a few scant minutes ago. They were good together. She knew they would be, Matt relaxing Harriet so she wasn't so stoic and pious, Harriet calming Matt down and distracting him from his stress.
Suzanne left them after that, bidding them goodbye. But neither seemed to notice her, caught up in their own little world immediately after only being given half a moment to themselves. It was sweet.
They seemed happy.
They deserved to be happy. No one knew that better than Suzanne. She'd been a PA, stalking the halls and soaking up information for a year. And now she was Matt's personal assistant, she knew them better than they thought she did.
Monday was looking up, like a fresh start, and she had a good feeling that things were going to continue on that positive trajectory.