The first time I ever saw Anakin's spirit ghost, he looked so sad, so forlorn… Almost as if he pitied me, felt bad for my position- or my future. "If I could only keep my son from you…" Does that mean he knows what happens to me? How I die…..?
Standing in front of the stone structure, I watched the droids tirelessly work away at the building's construction. It was to be a school- Luke's school. And I was to be his very first pupil. Wrapped up in Boba Fett's black cloak- the one he covered me with that night he saved me- I merely observed the assembly with this odd sensation in my gut. I guess I hadn't thought much about it since I first met Luke in the future, but I was going to die….. I mean I suppose that everyone dies; I am no different than anyone who has come before me. But my death will not be a natural one. I don't know how I die but judging how wrecked Luke's life became after the fact, I can't imagine it was a good scenario. My lips pursed together ever so slightly. I'm going to die in some horrific way- I only know that right now….. What would Luke say if he knew?
What would Mando say?
"Saoirse?" My head spun back to see Ashoka coming up the way toward me. She paused at my side to overlook the scene as well. The robots ignored her arrival, continuing on with their work. R2-D2 also rolled up to my other side, beeping quietly. I grinned a tad, reaching down to pat his head. I felt Ashoka's eyes drift from back onto the fixture. "This will be a great school someday." "I'm sure it will," I agreed. "You'll be its first student," her arms folded as she smiled. When I didn't answer back, she gazed at me again.
A pregnant pause fell between us. I heard when her lips opened again. "How did you recognize him?" "Huh?" This finally made me blink back to her. Her eyes instantly locked onto mine. "Luke, when you first met him; you knew he was Luke Skywalker." "Oh, that. I….. It's a long story." "You're afraid of something," she declared matter-of-factly. "I don't like being away from Mando like this," was my answer. But Ashoka shook her head. "It's more than that. You have real reservations about being here in this forest with us." "Of course not! It….. It may not appear to you that I've known Luke for long, but he's very precious to me. I can't leave him, not like this…." Not after he's finally found me after all this time. Though the Luke Skywalker I originally met was much older.
The Jedi's eyes narrowed onto mine suspiciously. "You talk of an attachment to Luke, but you've barely known him for a couple of months." My lips parted ever so slightly in defiance. Luke…. "You exist now only inside my heart…. You are safe in there. And we shall be together again soon….. in your time and in mine. Until then, I shall wait here patiently by the sea…." "I know him. I can sense him from anywhere; I can never forever the sound of his voice. Believe me, I know him."
We watched one another for a moment longer before tearing our gazes apart, looking back to the school building. Another lingering silence slipped between us, more uncomfortable this time. "Why are still afraid then?" Ashoka eventually inquired. My eyes lowered a little. "I want Mando back. I don't feel safe unless I know he's nearby." "There is no place in the galaxy more safe than here with Luke." "That's not what I mean. Something's going to happen to me at some point, and when that time comes, I want my husband to be there," I said this with such finality that it caught the Jedi by surprise.
Yet another long pause ensued. Ashoka's eyes wandered a bit before returning to mine, less unsure now. "Has someone….. told you something? Have you had a vision….? Have you seen something that has been troubling you?" I was very hesitant to answer but I knew I had to say something to appease my friend. It was my turn to ask a question, however. "Tell me something, Ashoka. Is it possible to change the future?" "Huh? What do you mean?" "Let's say that I have had a vision; one which doesn't end well….. for someone. Would it be possible to change it? The alter the outcome of events?"
The Jedi considered for a moment, leaning forward ever so slightly. "I suppose so, if the Force willed it." Disappointment suddenly filled me. Moff Gideon's words rang through my head against conscious will. "There's no question about it. Your death will be brought by the hands of those who seek a new balance, and when that day comes…. The Empire will finally rise again." Being an ally and the living embodiment of the light side, my days were naturally numbered. I'm sure Luke must have known this on some subconscious level. Judging by the way his future self reacts to my death, he definitely didn't foresee it. And a part of me didn't want to tell him either. But….. My fingers curled into fists.
But I can't just leave him either. Mando would take me away from here if he knew; there'd be no question about it. My husband would never let Luke see me again. But I can't leave Luke now. He's the same Luke I spent all those months with; well, my Force spirit anyway. He's the same man who trained me, who comforted me, grew to care for me… "You were like my own personal sun, drawing me ever closer. There wasn't a day which I didn't look at you and… and want to protect you more, to keep you from all harm. You gave my life a meaning I never knew I was meant for…. as a teacher and protector." How can I desert him, this man that means so much to me? Luke was meant to be my teacher, my master. It was the will of the Force….. wasn't it? That's why I met his future self; so that I might learn to forgive, grow stronger, and learn to love him. I loved Luke, very much so- he was my friend. And yet…..
I'd be lying if I said that the Luke I adored so much wasn't back on that island near the sea still.
"Saoirse? Saoirse?" The sound of Ashoka's voice made me come crashing back into reality. My head spun sideways so I could blink at her wildly and in confusion. She wore a worried expression on her face, analysing mine carefully. "Huh? What? Sorry! I-I spaced out for a moment there." She waited a second before speaking. "I said that I came because Luke is looking for you." "He is? Oh, ok. I'll go to him now," my heels darted around as I was about to head down the grass path. I had only made it ten steps or so before the Jedi called my name out, making me stop for a minute. Glancing back over my shoulder to Ashoka, she gave me a sincere, firm stare. Her eyes narrowed intently onto mine. "Talk to him. I know Luke as well….
And he'd never want anything bad to happen to you."