Nathanial should have figured he would be here. Of course, both people he wished to see were in the same location. He wasn't sure if this made it easier or harder. He'd struggled with whether he should go to Mamoru or Makoto first for the conversation. Nephrite had, unsurprisingly, voted to see Makoto now that he had seen Mamoru.
Nathanial felt he still owed Mamoru some time. Nephrite felt he had made peace with Mamoru and the fact that some part of him would physically take back over his duty. Nephrite had explained the time in the stone, when the Shitennou had made peace with their past and their new role as guides for Mamoru. But, Nathanial felt he needed to face Mamoru in the physical forms for both himself and Nephrite. The Shitennou had never expected to physically return to their duties in any form and even Nephrite admitted it had been difficult to accept the change, to know that Nathanial might choose to return to duty.
Nathanial walked into the bakery and waved at Zoran. When Zoran tensed and waved back stiffly, Nathanial realized he would have to talk with him, as well. Nathanial had thought they'd settled something the previous day, but there was clearly still a barrier.
Nathanial filed this away as he moved to the table where Mamoru had his books open, "Hey."
"Hey," Mamoru smiled, looking up from the books spread in front of him and tilted his head towards the chair opposite of him. "Sit, please."
"What are you studying?" Nathanial asked as he sat, eying the titles across the table.
"Final year of undergrad, biomedical engineering. I'm hoping to go to med school but… Well, We'll see," Mamoru smiled.
Hmm, Nephrite hummed, almost a sigh. Nathanial perked up, recognizing that there was something there. Something that Mamoru wasn't saying and something that Nephrite understood.
What? Nathanial demanded.
It's not time. Not yet, Nephrite stated in a tone that brooked no argument. It will be.
Nathanial narrowed his eyes at Mamoru, "We'll see."
Mamoru sighed, "It's not time yet."
"That's what Nephrite said. Which means that he knows what you're talking about and he has chosen not to share it," Nathanial accused.
"He would choose that. Jadeite and Zoisite didn't share either. I can't be sure whether Kunzite did since Khaled won't see me," Mamoru answered. "They decided, and we decided, that there are some things we need everyone together to face."
"Do Jacob and Zoran realize there's something more going on?" Nathanial asked softly, glancing back to where Zoran had disappeared into the kitchen.
"Jacob does. He's not happy no one will tell him. He hasn't been from the beginning. Zoran has an idea, I think. But, he's been letting it go. He hasn't been a part of the group quite long enough to grow real impatient. We're not trying to hide it so much as it's just not the best time to tell you all. You need to be together," Mamoru stated resolutely.
"That doesn't seem likely to happen," Nathanial reminded him, crossing his arms. "We can't wait forever."
"No, I don't suppose we can," Mamoru sighed. "Usagi, Minako, and I are discussing it. With you as my right hand, I should really bring you into the discussion but…"
"You don't want to give up hope," Nathanial finished. He understood. Whatever it was, it was big enough that even Nephrite wouldn't tell him. Nephrite had revealed all to Nathanial, or so Nathanial had thought. This had been too important. Something a leader should do. And, Nathanial wasn't a leader, not really. He sighed, "Okay, but… But, we're going to have to put a time limit on it… in case…"
He didn't want to finish the thought, but Mamoru didn't need him to, "We have time. We'll… We'll give it a deadline."
Nathanial sighed and nodded.
What a mess, Nephrite stated thoughtfully. What is he doing? What was Kunzite thinking, leaving him so unstable. Kunzite always had a plan but this… this surely wasn't it.
Nathanial mentally shook his head, I didn't know the man.
I did. Something isn't adding up, Nephrite responded.
"What's he saying?" Mamoru interrupted and Nathanial noticed the other man staring at him.
"How could you tell?" Nathanial asked. He'd taken pride in perfecting the internal conversations.
"Your eyes shutter a little," Mamoru smiled. "I can see you go internal. I can also sense when he's more active. His energy increases. What was he saying?"
Nathanial drummed his fingers on the table, "He's worried about what's going on and why Kunzite chose to leave when Khaled was clearly not ready."
"I've wondered the same," Mamoru murmured. "Zoran mentioned Khaled saying that Kunzite hadn't wanted to deal with the consequences. But, that's not Kunzite. He wouldn't have shirked his duties just to avoid discomfort. I spoke to him, in the stones. He had regrets but they didn't run that deep."
I agree, Nephrite stated.
Nathanial shook his head, "We won't know if he doesn't talk to anyone. Maybe Minako…"
Mamoru shook his head, "No. Usagi and I decided to stop… We don't want her to have to deal with him any more than necessary."
"He's that bad to her? World War Three like Zoran stated?" Nathanial shook his head. "I may not know Kunzite, but I know Khaled. He cares about people. He's aloof and there's the wall, you understand why. But, he cares. He's a therapist for gods' sake. All he does is take care of people."
"That may be so," Mamoru sighed, looking worn. "But, he isn't interested in taking care of Minako. Or, even being civil."
Interesting, Nephrite voiced.
Not interesting, Nathanial responded. It was confusing. Nothing like the man Kunzite had been and Khaled had appeared.
"I can talk to him, but I don't know if it'll do any good," Nathanial shrugged. "I was too shocked to make much of a case last time. I doubt he'll listen, but I can try it."
"We don't have much to lose at this point," Mamoru stated. "Now, did you really come to talk Khaled again?"
Nathanial laughed, "No, I didn't. I will talk to him, but I didn't come to circle on that topic anymore. I came to apologize."
"Apologize?" Mamoru lifted an eyebrow.
"Nephrite has attempted to assuage my guilt. It's worked for the most part. I understand that the piece of Nephrite's soul that remained in me after rebirth made me susceptible to Beryl. I had my own susceptibilities, though. I was lost without finding you and my purpose. I was… prodigal apparently."
At Mamoru's laugh, Nathanial realized Ami wasn't the only one to have read through some of the articles.
"If I'd put more energy into finding my purpose than avoiding the emptiness," Nathanial shrugged. "Maybe we could have avoided some of this. Maybe we wouldn't have. We don't know."
"Regardless of the path, I'm glad you're here now," Mamoru held out his hand and Nephrite reached out and grasped his forearm as Mamoru did the same, "Welcome home."
Nathanial settled and felt something in Nephrite settle as well. He felt the oath, the promise of being a warrior. He smiled back, "I am glad to be home."
He glanced over his shoulder, towards the kitchen. It was mid-afternoon and the bakery was empty, too late for the lunch rush and too early for pre-dinner snacks. Zoran had disappeared into the kitchen and hadn't returned. Nathanial assumed that meant Makoto was, in fact, in the back.
"Why don't you go talk to her," Mamoru suggested, following his gaze.
"Maybe I was thinking about Zoran," Nathanial responded automatically. When Mamoru only raised a brow, Nathanial sighed, "Right. I'll go talk to her."
Nathanial stood and moved towards the back. He was vaguely aware that, as a customer, he probably shouldn't just stroll into the kitchen. Mamoru seemed unconcerned as he returned to his book, so Nathanial decided to just roll with it. He'd face whatever wrath awaited him when he got there. If the only wrath was due to his presence behind the counter, he'd count it as a win.
He took a deep breath and pushed open the door.
Zoran was sitting on the desk next to the computer Makoto was working on. He'd been idly tossing a ball in the hair when he had entered. He startled when his eyes met Nathanial's and misjudged the last toss, allowing it to land directly on Makoto's head.
"What the hell, Zoran? I'm working. If I lose my place on this inventory, you're doing it alone," Makoto mumbled, glancing up at the man next to her. Nathanial saw her tilt her head as she noticed his staring and then follow his gaze. Her green eyes met his brown and Nathanial froze as well.
It was a silent stare-off until Zoran finally hopped off the desk, "I'll do the inventory later, Makoto, if you check the stocks out front."
"Wait," Nathanial finally shook himself free. "I just want to talk. To Makoto."
Zoran glanced at Makoto and then back at Nathanial, "I don't know…"
"It's alright," Makoto interrupted. She smiled gently at Zoran and touched his arm, "You can still do the inventory later, though."
"Gee, thanks," Zoran muttered. "I'll just be… out front."
Nathanial watched as Zoran walked around him, giving him a warning look. Nathanial glared back. He was jealous. He couldn't say he had ever been jealous of another person. His on-again-off-again not-really even girlfriend was engaged to his sister. His sister who had inherited the entire business. And, he didn't begrudge her either of those things. He was happy for her.
You never wanted either of those, Nephrite pointed out the obvious.
Nathanial knew he was right. He hadn't really wanted anything in his old life. He wanted everything in this life. And, he felt himself grow jealous every time he realized how close Zoran was to Makoto. Which, he knew, was ridiculous, because Zoran was, once again, so obviously smitten with Ami that it was almost sickening.
Nathanial realized that Makoto was staring at him, waiting for him to say something, "Hi."
She tilted her head, "Hi."
Smooth, Nephrite interjected, and Nathanial realized that having a constant wingman probably wasn't as fun as it might sound. He hadn't ever needed one before. He'd been a natural or, at least, he'd had enough money not to have to try.
"I didn't really plan this far ahead," Nathanial admitted aloud instead of just to Nephrite.
He was rewarded with a small smile from Makoto and he felt himself relax, "What did you plan for?"
"To be kicked out of the kitchen," he shrugged.
"Tempting," she responded. "We have to face this eventually, I think."
"Yeah," he agreed and fell silent again.
By Terra's Holy Land, Nephrite groaned. She's not even a goddess this time.
"So…" she trailed off, watching him warily.
"I'm not engaged," he blurted out. "I wasn't ever engaged."
Nephrite groaned again.
"Oh," she stated simply, appearing slightly confused. "The reports said…"
"Our parents had been trying to arrange the match our entire lives. We were never particularly willing. It was just natural to be together and not worth the fight. At least, it wasn't worth the fight when I didn't remember…" he trailed off.
He'd wondered on the plane ride over whether if he'd never remembered Makoto, and if Maggie had been interested in him, if he'd have eventually allowed the match to happen. He'd always been complacent in his family, always planned to do what he should as the only son. He'd almost been despondent in his own destiny, restless but unable to place what that meant. He would have, he did, allow anything to happen. It's what he had tried to explain to Mamoru.
"When you didn't remember Mamoru?" she asked.
"When I didn't remember you," he admitted quietly.
She colored a light pink, "I see."
He drew a breath, "I just thought you should know that I don't have anything I plan to return to in America. The business is my sister's. There's no relationship to go back to."
"None of them?" she asked.
It was Nathanial's turn to groan, "You've been reading the tabloids, too?"
"I was curious when Zoran told me you had returned," she admitted.
"I'm going to be repenting for that far longer than anything else I've done," he muttered. Nephrite laughed and even Makoto smiled.
"I talked to Ami this morning," she told him. "She told me that I should listen to what you have to say. She reminded me that you were likely more than a little lost without Mamoru, without your direction."
He nodded, "I was."
"I can understand that," she validated, but he heard the 'but' long before it came. "But, I don't know you. And, you don't know me. I'm not… I'm not Empanda. I don't know what Nephrite expects, but I'm not just her anymore."
"He realized that," Nathanial stated without thought.
He knew she understood exactly how much Nephrite understood when she flinched, "I see."
Way to go, Nephrite sighed, though it there was an edge to it that Nathanial struggled to identify. It wasn't just exasperation that Nathanial had been thoughtless. It tinged on regret and continued grief.
"It's not that… Well, regardless, that doesn't matter to me. I'd like to get to know you," Nathanial stated, ignoring Nephrite. They could deal with his emotions later.
"Why?" she challenged, crossing her arms. The stance was defensive. He had taken her by surprise.
"Because, I'd like to make this choice for myself. Based on who you are and who I am. Not based on who they were and who we aren't," he responded easily.
Smooth, Nephrite repeated, though he meant it this time. Nathanial continued to ignore his input.
It must have been the right thing to say, because her guard dropped, "We can… try that."
Nathanial smiled back, "Good. Maybe tomorrow?"
"Maybe tomorrow," she nodded. "Will he ever talk to me?"
Nathanial blinked, surprised by the sudden question, "Do you want him to?"
She shrugged, "I don't know, yet. Jadeite never faced Rei and Minako will never get the chance to talk to Kunzite. But, Zoran spoke with Ami. And, I always wondered which would be better."
Nephrite had frozen and Nathanial could feel indecision. Nephrite had wanted to stay to see who Makoto had become, but once faced with the reality, he seemed to hesitate. Nathanial realized that, despite all the talk of knowing Makoto would be different, Nephrite had expected to reunited in some way with Empanda, to find the closure he sought.
Maybe that's still a possibility,Nathanial tried to sooth.
We'll see, Nephrite responded noncommittally.
"We'll see," Nathanial said aloud.
"Okay," Makoto nodded. It was somewhat stiff again, but she was willing to see him, get to know him. Nathanial took that as a win.
"I'll see you maybe tomorrow," he told her, smiling.
"The bakery is closed, but I'll meet you here at… noon. Maybe," she finished and her returning smile was teasing.
He nodded, waving as he turned and exited the kitchen. He nodded at a stiff Zoran who nodded back. They needed to talk, but it would have to wait. Here, now, wasn't right. He returned to the table with Mamoru. Ami had appeared while he had been away and they were both bent over one of her textbooks. He sat next her and smiled at them both.
-x-
AN: I have some good news, bad news, good news. Good news is that I have had a lot of energy for writing. The bad news is that almost none of it has been focused on this story. The good news is that Khaled/Minako's story, and the final part, is almost complete. I was asked if this one would be as long as the others. The plan is for it to be about as long at least with word count. However, I recognize that the pacing on this one is a little different than on the other stories. A large part of this is that I've brough Nathanial in already having come to terms with a lot of things. So, we'll see how it ends up. Thanks for reading!