As Buck had predicted, he was pulled from work and put on indefinite leave, and, at the request of Bobby and Athena, moved into the Grant-Nash household.

He had been resistant at first, wanted to argue that he could just stay in his apartment, have his sessions with his therapist virtually just like he used to do. But when he opened his mouth to voice all those reasons out, Buck stopped short, and any and all arguments that were on the tip of his tongue went out the window.

Because for the first time in his life, he, Evan Buckley, finally knew what it was like to have parents who gave a damn about him. Parents who actually say and do things to help when they worry about him.

And so, he agreed.

But Buck knew that moving in didn't mean that things would suddenly become easier.

Because it wasn't.

Some days Buck was his usual golden retrieveresque self, always up to help around the house, or spend time with Athena and Bobby, sometimes even Harry and May when they stayed over.

Then there were the other days.

Days when he'd lose himself in his head; days when his anxiety was at an all-time high, and his emotions were all over the place. It was the hardest of days, especially the ones when he would lock himself in the bathroom in search of razors that were no longer there because Bobby had made sure to clear them out days before he moved in.

Bobby would never forget the first time Buck had a setback.

He would never forget the pain of bruises that started to form on his palms at the force of banging his hand repeatedly on the bathroom door. He would never forget how Athena spoke frantically, begging the younger man to open the door, and he would never forget the sudden appearance of May at the house that day.

May, who happened to be dropping by to check on Buck herself, had been the one to break through the dark fog of thoughts that were desperately trying to pull him under.

She had just entered the front door when she heard the distinct sound of a hand hammering against a door. May quickly made her way down the stairs and through the hall and found her mother and stepfather desperately trying to get Buck to unlock the door. May felt the blood drain from her face as she quickly made her way towards the door, moving past Bobby and Athena to the closed door.

"Buck?" she called through the door, a hand on the knob and her voice infinitely lower than her mother's had been.

The three of them waited with bated breath for any kind of response. May closed her eyes and forced herself to focus on the situation as thoughts of herself being in a similar situation as Buck once upon a time popped in her head. She took a deep breath to calm herself. Her older brother needed her.

"Buck? It's May. I need you to open the door for me. Please, Ev," May tried again as hope and fear fought for dominance in her chest.

But then there was an audible click as the door was unlocked. May carefully took a step back as the door opened slowly and revealed Buck. He was wearing one of his faded LAFD t-shirts and sweatpants. His hair was a mess, and his face was red and blotchy. His eyes were glassy, and tears were running down his cheeks as he opened the door further, hiccupping as his eyes landed on May.

"M-May?"

The young woman lurched forward when Buck's knees turned Jell-O, her arms automatically wrapping around his waist as she helped him stay up. With Buck twice her size, it was a bit difficult, but May shook her head at both their parents when they both took a step forward, and none of them missed the flinch from Buck.

"Hey, hey. It's okay, I've got you, Buck. I've got you. Sshh," May soothed when a whimper escaped his lips.

"I w-want.. May.. I..," Buck trailed off as his hand began to scratch on the barely healed lines on his arm, hard.

May immediately caught his hand and gave him a look that made her look so much like her mother at that moment. "Hey, no. Stop it, Buck. Look at me. Evan, look at me."

Buck snapped his gaze up at her and stared. There was a brief moment of silence as May and Buck held each other's gaze before the younger of the two spoke.

"I know," May whispered ever so softly.

But Buck didn't seem to understand what she was saying as he bit his lip and shook his head at her as he tried to take a step backward into the bathroom.

"N-No, you–"

But May tightened her grip on his waist, preventing him from moving further back and keeping him close to her as she gently cut him off.

"Buck. I know," she stressed, her eyes never leaving his as he stared right back, brows still furrowed in confusion before the expression cleared.

May saw the moment his mind finally caught up with what she was not saying and gave her a shaky nod. She gave him a small smile as she gave him a tight squeeze around the waist.

"Let's get you back to your room. Okay?" she asked.

Buck swallowed thickly before trailing his gaze over her head and saw their parents a few feet away from where he and May were, the concern and worry evident on their faces. He looked back at his sister and slowly shook his head no.

"L-Living room? I-It's too.. I.. I can't..," he asked back, panic slowly ebbing as her touch grounded him to the present, and the dark fog that settled in his mind started to clear as he gently placed his hand on her arm.

"Okay, come on. We'll settle on the couch while Mom and Bobby get us something to eat. How's that sound?" May suggested softly, her eyes never once breaking contact with his.

The young firefighter gave a shaky nod before licking his cracked lips and responding quietly.

"Y-Yeah, o-okay."

May nodded at him before she looked over to their parents and flashed them a small smile. "I've got him."

It took a moment before they both nodded back, understanding that maybe May was a better fit to calm their eldest son down at that moment.

"Your mom and I will be in the kitchen," Bobby said softly as May gently stirred Buck towards the living room.

The young woman looked over her shoulder and looked at their parents with a small smile before nodding.

May gently sat Buck down on the couch before sitting next to him, hand reaching to clutch his shaking one as she turned to see him already looking at her. She simply gave his hand a tight squeeze and a reassuring smile, and that was all it took for Buck's expression to crumble as he let out a gut-wrenching sob.

The young dispatcher immediately wrapped her arms around his bulky frame, whispering quiet reassurance, and repeated the promise of not going anywhere in his ear over and over again as he cried.

From then on, the relationship Buck had with May blossomed even further. It was like two souls who had similar yet different experiences in struggling with loving themselves and believing that they were worth something bonded and solidified.

The strong bond they already have strengthened further with their shared experiences, opening up to each other when they felt like those around them wouldn't understand what they were trying to say or how they felt.

Months of therapy helped Buck open up about thoughts and feelings, not only to his therapist but also to those around him.

After dinner with Hen at the Grant-Nash house one night, Buck made an impulsive decision to catch her attention and invited her to join him outside on the patio. Buck cast a glance at Athena and Bobby, and he couldn't help but feel his heart skip a beat when he saw the proud smiles on their faces as they gave him a subtle nod of encouragement before clearing the table.

He did this to everyone he held dear in his life. He invited them over and sat them down on the patio and talked with them, being open with his feelings and thoughts because he knew now how important communicating was; how important it was for them to know what was going on inside his head so they could help him and be there for him.

Buck hugged each of them a little tighter at the end of every talk, and he relished the fact that they hugged him back a little tighter, too, in return.

He held on to each and every one of them more than he ever had in a while, knowing now that they were always going to be there, regardless of what his head told him otherwise.

It was a difficult mindset to unlearn and get rid of, especially when it was the only constant thing in his life that he never got to prove untrue. Years of being left out on the sidelines, wondering if he'll ever be good enough to be seen and accepted for who he was, along with the flaws and damage that came with him, had done a number on him. They have been one of the biggest obstacles that made it difficult for him to think otherwise.

In the end, it was Harry who shut those thoughts down and eventually became the catalyst for Buck to gradually unlearn that kind of thinking.

When the thirteen-year-old heard from his dad and sister about what happened with Buck's first setback, Harry decided that he wanted to stay over at the house, at least for a little while, to keep Buck close and to keep him company. Michael had been understanding. When Harry told him of his plans to stay at home with his mom, Bobby, and Buck, he smiled at his son and told him he was proud of him for wanting to be there for the young man. Harry smiled at his dad and replied something along the lines of 'You and Mom taught May and I well, Dad. And besides, Buck's family.' That same day, when Harry had gone off to his room to work on his homework, Michael reached out to both Athena and Bobby to let them know of the change in arrangements.

One night after dinner, about two weeks since Harry settled back in the house, three since the setback, and about a month since Buck moved in, Harry hollered at their parents as soon as he and Buck finished cleaning up. He dragged the firefighter with him into his room to catch some more screen time before they went to bed.

They were at their third round of videogames when Harry paused the game and turned towards his older brother.

"What's up?" Buck asked as he turned to look at the boy, videogame forgotten as he turned his focus on the boy.

"You know I heard about what happened?" Harry asked instead.

He watched Buck cringe slightly at that, and an awkward chuckle escaped the older man's lips.

"I'm sorry that you did," Buck quietly replied as he averted his gaze to the controller in his hands.

Harry recognized the signs of clamming up immediately and shook his head.

"I'm not," he said firmly.

Buck's head snapped up at that, and bright blue eyes met Harry's dark brown ones. "What? Why?"

"Because! Hearing about it means I can understand how to help you, and if I can understand how to help you, then that means I can be here for you because I want to be. And not just for the sake of helping you. Like, I really want to be here. With you, Buck," the teen responded.

But Buck shook his head at that. "You don't have to, Harry."

Harry's eyebrows shot up at that and gave him a look.

"You didn't have to check up on me almost every day and stay with me on some days after Jeffrey Hudson kidnapped me, and yet you did," he countered back.

"Because I wanted to help and be there for you, Harry," Buck responded, his voice quieting down towards the end of his statement as he realized where Harry was going with the conversation.

"Exactly, Buck. You've always been there for literally every person we both know. You were there for me, and now I'm here for you because I want to help you and because I want to be here with you," Harry explained, smiling as he gazed up at his older brother.

"I don't understand- I mean, I do. It's just- It's..," Buck started only to trail off when he seemed uncertain of the words he should say, but Harry seemed to understand as he continued for him without missing a beat.

"It's confusing why people would want to help someone who is damaged goods? Why people would want to spend time with someone who acts like they don't want people to be around them, but deep inside really wants to bury themselves in the arms of those same people?"

Now it was Buck's turn to have his eyebrows shot up, and his confusion was evident when he spoke a single question. "How..?"

Harry sighed and turned his body as he sat a little more comfortably, crossing his legs so he could face Buck.

"Because I know, Buck. I've been there before. I mean, I know it's not exactly the same circumstances, but I've had similar thoughts after the Hudson case," Harry paused and bit his lip before finally making up his mind.

"I struggled with letting people in; you know that. It was pretty obvious with how I dealt with Mom during those days. I struggled with the way I see myself because I, too, thought of myself as damaged goods. I've never told anyone that before, except for my therapist. But I didn't have to because somehow you just knew, and you always knew the right words to say whenever you were coming over to visit and check up on everyone after Hudson happened. And just between you and me?"

Harry abandoned his controller and scooted closer to Buck, eyes going over to the corners of the room as if looking out for imaginary Bobby and Athena in case they suddenly appeared from the walls and behind the curtains.

"I really think Mom has this secret superpower of reading minds, and she just won't tell us. You know.. all that superhero secrecy and stuff," he whispered conspiringly to Buck's ear.

Buck couldn't help the surprised laugh that erupted from his chest at that, and Harry grinned, having wanted to lift the atmosphere. The boy knew he succeeded when his older brother barked out a laugh, and he smiled to himself before he continued.

"You are not what your thoughts tell you. You are so much more than the negative things your head comes up with, Buck. I know it doesn't seem like it's true at the moment, but believe me, you are so much more than that. I don't know much about your parents. But from the bits and pieces that I've managed to hear from Mom, Dad, Bobby, and May.. well, it's not that hard to figure out that they should never have been parents in the first place."

"Yeah, they shouldn't have been," Buck agreed with a firm nod.

There was a moment of silence as they both got lost in their own thoughts, the silence not as heavy as one would think. It was a calm silence. One that didn't feel awkward when shared with someone who understood. The small bubble of silence was broken a little later when Harry opened his mouth to speak again.

"You don't have to hide anymore Buck. You don't have to push us away for us to notice you or to protect yourself from being left behind. You don't have to wonder if there's a metaphorical shoe waiting to drop or if you'll ever be seen for who you truly are, with all the scars seen and unseen. You never have to wonder if you'll ever be good enough to have a place in this family, because you are, Buck. You have always been good enough, and will always be good enough."

Harry shook his head and raised a hand to stop an argument from falling from Buck's lips when he appeared like he was about to counter him and continued.

"You and I were dealt with bad cards. You had to deal with years' worth of crap because of your parents, and I had to deal with crap because of Hudson. But we're not damaged goods. We never were, and never will be."

"Y-Yeah," Buck managed despite the lump in his throat. He blinked a couple of times to relieve the stinging behind his eyes, but he never broke eye contact with Harry.

"You got good people around, Buck. And we're not going anywhere. Or leave you out in the dust just because you've hit a rough patch. We don't do that to family, and you are family. You hear me?" Harry stated, voice coming off strong and leaving no room for argument, something Buck knew for certain that he inherited from Athena.

Buck smiled and gave Harry a shaky nod, lips trembling as he came up with a response. "I-I hear you, Harry. I hear you."

Harry smiled and nodded his head before reaching over to pick up his discarded controller and faced the screen in front of them. "Good. Now let's play one more round before Mom comes barging in and orders both of us to bed."

And just like that, Buck reached for his controller, and the game resumed. He briefly looked at Harry and smiled to himself. From that point on, his relationship with Harry blossomed further, just like the one he shared with May.

Over the course of his recovery, the Grant kids never failed to be there for him, whether physically or not. They would always call and check up on him when the time came that their living arrangements reverted back to Harry dividing his time between his dad's and at the house and when May had to cover longer shifts at work.

Months later, when he received the all-clear to return to active duty, Bobby and Athena arranged a party held at the station to celebrate his recovery on his first day back. May and Harry were the ones to hug him first after the whole station yelled out congratulations. Buck almost fell over when they both slammed into him. His arms automatically wrapped around them to keep him balanced as they both drew him in for a sibling group hug.

"Hey guys," he chuckled as he hugged them back just as tightly.

His siblings simultaneously looked up at him and smiled widely.

"You've got this, Buck," May told him sincerely.

"Yeah, and we're so proud of you Buck! We can't wait for you to get back out there again," Harry chimed in and smiled.

"Yeah, me too," Buck responded as he pressed a kiss on each of their heads.

"Thanks, guys" he added, but May shook her head at that and answered for both her and Harry.

"Not for this, Buck. You never have to thank us for being your siblings."

"Yeah, we love you, Buck. Never forget that," Harry replied.

"I love you guys, too," Buck whispered as he tightened his arms around them once more.

Their little bubble was popped when Chim's voice came from across the loft where his family and the whole station were waiting.

"So, do we get hugs too, or have the Grant kids maxed them all out?"

That startled a laugh out of Buck, and after pressing one more kiss on top of each of his siblings' heads, he let them go and walked towards the party. And at some point, when the party had died down, Athena and Bobby found Buck leaning against the counter in the kitchen, having just finished cleaning up. They watched as he traced his fingertips against the faint pinkish-white lines that littered his arm, almost lost in thought. The couple shared a look and went over to where he was standing.

"Hey, kid. Everything okay?" Bobby asked as he and Athena stood before him.

Buck looked up and smiled at the sight of his parents. "Yeah, Dad, I was just thinking."

"About?" Athena prompted as she snaked an arm around his waist and pulled him for a side-hug, which Buck happily accepted and wrapped an arm around her shoulders in return.

"How far I've come from the dark place I had been all those months ago," Buck replied nonchalantly, shoulders shrugging as he turned to look at his dad with a smile.

"How in between the days of my recovery, there had been a lot of ups and downs. Most of which were downs that got me thinking that maybe adding another dark, red, angry line on my arm was the only answer," he continued as he switched gazes between his parents.

"But you didn't, baby," his mother reminded him as he glanced at her.

"But I didn't," he repeated with a small smile and a nod before continuing, "Because I had both of you."

Bobby shook his head. "Have, Evan. You have us."

"And you always will have us. Never forget that," Athena added as she brought a hand up against his cheek. Buck bit his lip before switching his gaze between them once more as he leaned into Athena's touch.

"Thank you. For being there. I-I think I never got to tell you guys just how grateful I am to have you both in my life. I'm sure I'd still be giving you guys gray hairs down the road, but I just.. thank you," Buck told them sincerely, his eyes shifting from police sergeant to fire captain.

"I know you guys see me as a son just as much as I see both of you as my parents. And I.. I know it's been a rough couple of months, having to witness me at my lowest point and with all the things that happened in between and all that. And I-," Buck was interrupted when Bobby gently pulled him away from Athena and rested both hands on his shoulders as he made eye contact with him.

"Evan, kid, you never have to thank us for being here. That's what parents are supposed to do for their children. And honestly, kid, you've been mine and Athena's for far longer than we all realized," Bobby told him softly.

"Uh-hmm. I think you've been Dad's boy since the day you stepped into this loft on your first day here at the 118, and you have been my boy.." Athena started, only to have Buck finish it for her, "Since that first call we had together with the pipe baby and I talked back like I was asking for it."

The three of them chuckled at that, and Athena nodded at him, pulling the younger man back to her side as soon as Bobby released him from his hold.

"That's right. You have come a long way, baby. And your dad and I are so glad to have witnessed you grow into the man you are now. We're proud of you, Evan," she added as she reached over and cupped his cheek, smiling when Buck leaned into his touch and smiled back.

"That we are. We love you, Evan," Bobby said as he stood on Buck's other side, so he and Athena were on either side of their eldest child.

The soft smile that appeared on Buck's face was enough of an answer for Athena and Bobby; it always has been. But at that moment, Buck felt like that wouldn't do. And so, after months of hearing those three words from his parents– his real parents, and not having enough courage to say them back every single time, Buck realized that he no longer had anything to worry about. He was finally free from the fear of not being enough, not being seen, and not being heard.

Because, for the first time in his life, Evan Buckley finally knew what it was like to be loved by real parents.

And he no longer feared to say it back.

So, that's exactly what he did.

"I love you too, Mom. I love you too, Dad."

Buck was sandwiched between his parents in a bone-crushing hug in the blink of an eye, and in that one moment, he was finally whole again.

And as he melted in his parents' embrace, his mind wandered back to his thoughts before they came over to check on him. He was reminded of the darker times he'd been through while tracing the faint pinkish-white lines down his arm. He remembered how those faded lines used to be so much darker, redder, and angrier.

But, as the saying goes, time heals all wounds.

And as Buck healed, both physically and mentally, there had been a lot of ups and downs. There had been moments of searching for razors in a house where they were cleared out. There had been moments of locking himself in his room or the bathroom. There had been moments of sharing a laugh and shedding tears. There had been moments of quiet confessions and loud conversations.

And as once red lines turned pink, his mom got injured at work, his older sister was involved in an accident, his dad and his friends got held at gunpoint at a scene, his younger brother got bullied at school, and his younger sister got held captive when dispatch center was compromised. And it was during those times, times where the thought of losing the only family he had overwhelmed him, that all he could think about was how adding another red line could be the answer he was desperate for.

But he didn't.

Instead, he held on to his family tighter, pulled them closer than he ever had, and tried as hard as he could to focus on what was real, what was there–on who was there. He pushed his dark thoughts away and talked to someone when he couldn't, asking them for help when he couldn't.

And when Bobby and Athena finally released him from their hold, smiled at him, ruffled his hair..

"Dad, come on, not the hair!"

...and cupped his cheek..

"Hi, Mama."

..Buck knew for a fact that he would never let them go and distance himself like used to do ever again.

Because, at long last, after searching for it his whole life–after spending years being on the sidelines as an outsider looking in, Evan Buckley has finally found his home.