I rewatched "Return of the Rogue Rabbit" recently, and Stacy's answers to Candace about Dennis were way too weird for her to not have been informed by Perry that something was up. So here's that episode, but from Stacy's perspective. (This was literally the perfect episode to call back to her knowledge about Perry but, once again, I'm having to do it like 8 years after the fact. I'm not bitter)
"It's true," Candace said, glancing back at Stacy. "Ferb told me. It's called rennet, Stacy. They scraped it from the lining of a calf's stomach to make cheese."
Stacy wrinkled her nose; she couldn't quite remember a time where she'd felt more nauseous. "And yet, when I wanna talk about sushi, you say it's disgusting."
Candace opened her mouth to respond and then froze, her eyes going wide. Stacy followed her gaze to a bunny rabbit resting on the grass next to Perry, who…wasn't he supposed to be at work? What was he doing here in the middle of the day?
"Oh my gosh!" Candace shrieked, and Stacy refrained from the urge to cover her ears. "Cutie-Patootie! My long-lost rabbit!" She scooped the rabbit up, clinging to him. "Where've you been? Oh honey bunny, was Perry bothering you?"
Stacy shot a side glance to Perry, who looked just as nauseated with the whole thing as she was currently feeling. She was sure she'd hear all about it at their weekly hang out.
"Poor little fluffy britches patootie pants," Candace cooed. "Let me get you home."
Stacy grimaced as Candace went inside. "Stay down, breakfast. Stay down."
Before she could follow her friend and be forced to listen to even more disgustingly cute talk, however, Perry leapt to his hind legs, putting his hands out to stop Stacy. She paused, instantly dropping to one knee. Perry rarely used his agent cover to talk to her this close to the house; he usually waited until they were safe across town holding drinks in the back corner booth of a place called Café Noir to even get on his hind legs. Whatever he needed was important. "What's up, P?"
Perry jutted a thumb back over his shoulder to where Candace had disappeared, and then moved both his hands up to his head, shaping his fingers into what looked almost like-
"The rabbit?" Stacy guessed, and Perry put a finger to his nose. "What about him? Other than him being the reason Candace has lost her mind?"
Perry pointed behind him again, and then pulled out his hat, putting it on and gesturing at it. Stacy tilted her head. "Is he an agent?"
He shook his head quickly. Stacy furrowed her brows, shooting another glance back to make sure Candace wasn't coming outside looking for her. "He's…not an agent. And he's definitely not a normal bunny, or you wouldn't be risking talking to me right now. Is he evil? Are there rogue agents?"
He tapped his bill again and Stacy winced. "Great. So my best friend is obsessed with an evil, rogue bunny. What do you need from me?"
Perry pulled out his wallet, flipping it open and pointing to Candace in a photo of her and the boys, before gesturing emphatically far away from him. Stacy nodded. "Got it. Keep her away. I'll do my best." She paused, halfway to standing again. "Do you have photos of everyone in your wallet?"
The look he shot her made her fling her hands up. "Just asking, yeesh."
She darted inside, well aware of Perry trotting in behind her in pet form, and found Candace cradling Mr. Cutie Patootie – she really wished Perry could tell her his actual name, because just the thought of the other one made her cringe – and whispering adoringly to him in the kitchen. Now that she was looking for it, Stacy could see the angry glint in his eyes.
"Um, Candace?" Stacy said, shifting on her feet. "Should we maybe get…Mr. Cutie Patootie some kind of food? Who knows how long he's been all by himself."
Candace gasped, holding up the rabbit at arm's length and staring at him in horror. "Oh my gosh, Stacy, you're right! Okay, hold on, Mr. Cutie Patootie," she cooed, walking him over to the garage and setting him down on what Stacy assumed was one of Perry's old pet beds. "You wait right here and me and Auntie Stacy will be right back with some foodsie woodsie."
"I'm literally going to vomit if you keep talking like that," Stacy muttered, following Candace back out of the garage and giving a subtle nod to Perry as they passed him in the entrance.
It took everything in her not to look back into the garage as Candace went searching through the cupboards; she knew from past conversations with Perry that a lot of the house, garage included, had cameras in it from the agency (which was kind of creepy, in Stacy's opinion), and that if she glanced in even for a second and accidentally saw them fighting, Perry's cover was "blown."
So she stayed quiet, keeping Candace preoccupied with as many rabbit-food based questions as she could think of, and then followed her back into the garage, hoping it had been enough time for Perry to get in and out with the rabbit.
"Cutie Patootie, I got your chowsie wowsie!" Candace called, and Stacy swallowed again, wrinkling her nose. Candace gasped in horror seconds later, and Stacy followed her gaze to see that the rabbit was indeed gone, Perry missing with him. "Oh! Stacy, he's gone! Where do you think he went?"
Shit. Shit, she hadn't thought of an answer to that question. Okay, where was Perry the absolute least likely to go with the rabbit?
"Maybe he's down at the docks."
Why did she say that?
Remarkably, Candace didn't call her on it. "Yeah! Maybe he…down at the docks?" she asked incredulously.
Okay, maybe she wasn't off the hook. "Or…maybe he's just playing with his friends," she offered. That technically wasn't really a lie.
Candace studied her for a long moment, a frown on her face, and then she shook her head. "Nah, your first idea was better. Come on, lets go search the town for him. He's gotta be starving, the poor widdle bunny wunny."
"Candace, seriously, I swear, I will leave right now."
It was probably a good thing Candace got so quickly distracted all the time, because Stacy would have had a very hard time explaining the giant marionette doll and the robot plunging into the ocean ahead of them if Candace hadn't been pestering a small child about a fluffy thing in their bike basket that turned out to be a sweater.
Actually, Stacy couldn't even explain the giant marionette to herself, if she was honest.
She watched silently as Perry clambered out of the ocean and onto the dock with the rogue agent, clipping the rabbit's arms behind him, and she glanced back at Candace as she cupped her hands around her mouth and started shouting again.
"Mr. Patootie! Where are you?" she called.
Perry looked up, locked eyes with Stacy, and both animals dropped into pet form. Why the rabbit continued to do it was beyond Stacy, but she took the non-verbal cue and pointed. "There he is."
Candace gasped in delight. "Mr. Patootie!"
Stacy hummed, watching her scoop up the rabbit. "Whadya know?" she muttered, feeling like a character in The Office as she glanced off into the distance. "He was down at the docks."
"Oh, Cutie Patootie, I'm so glad you're safe and sound!" Candace cooed as Stacy approached.
Phineas and Ferb came running up from the opposite direction, and Phineas scooped Perry up off the dock. "Oh there you are Perry! Cool, Candace, you found your rabbit!"
From just behind Stacy came a deep, very obviously disguised voice. "Oh look! There he is! My pet bunny, Mr. Bigelow!"
Stacy turned with the rest of the group and found, standing behind her, none other than Major Monobrow – excuse her, Monogram – and his intern Carl, both in poor disguises. Perry had mentioned them to her many a time, though most of the time it was with fond exasperation.
"I've been looking everywhere for you," the Major declared. "Get over here, you naughty lagomorph!"
Candace hesitated, looking to Stacy and then back to her brothers. "But he's…do I have to?"
Phineas shrugged. "Well, he is a lagomorph."
That answer didn't really make much sense to Stacy, but Candace relented anyway, and Stacy glanced back down at Perry to see him fighting back an eyeroll.
"You've been a bad little bunny," Monogram scolded the rabbit. "Now let's get you back to your…special room."
Stacy watched them go for a long while, only tuning back in when Phineas started talking again.
"Whadaya mean, Candace? Rabbit owners come in all shapes and sizes," he was pointing out.
Candace gestured to the retreating figures, her expression baffled. "A flight helmet and cowboy boots?" she managed.
Stacy couldn't help herself; she pointed backwards and furrowed her eyebrows. "I think the tall one was wearing a wig."
Even Ferb opened his mouth, which startled Stacy. "And the other one had a false mustache."
The group blinked as the sound of helicopter blades started whirring behind them, and Stacy glanced back to see Monogram and Carl carting the rabbit onto a helicopter. Candace stuck her arms out. "Plus, they're leaving by helicopter."
They fell silent for a moment, watching them go, and then Phineas spoke again. "You do realize that none of those observations disprove my statement, right?"
Stacy glanced at Candace and Ferb, then back at the retreating helicopter. One day. One day she'd be able to tell them all that apparently that stupid rabbit was evil.
"Yeah," they chorused.
Later, across town, Stacy sat down at Café Noir and pushed Perry's usual – a triple shot mocha with extra whipped cream – across the table at him, raising her eyebrows as he set his fake glasses on his head and took a sip. She lifted her own drink – a lavender and honey latte – and blew on it to cool it down. "Seriously? An evil bunny named Dennis?"
He scoffed, lifting an eyebrow at her and sliding his notebook across the table. Stacy made yet another mental note for them to take an ASL class as she picked it up to read it. Seriously? The docks?
"How was I supposed to know you'd actually go there!?"
The ending is definitely a nod to a couple of small Stacy and Perry comics from pnfc on Tumblr where they get coffee together. 10/10 would recommend