{Hayden's POV}

(April 2021)

{Isle of Berk; Raseri Home}

Uncle Gabriel waking up last month made me happier than I'd felt in a long time. That isn't to say I'm not glad with Troy, or other aspects of my life. My Godfather and I were close, and we always have been. I think what made the situation harder for me was knowing that the accident happened while I was flying home after the eighteen-month tour in Syria. I was relieved when doctors said that Uncle Gabe was stable, and would live, but nothing was better than being there when he woke up as if nothing had changed. Gabriel knew everything doctors asked about who he was, how old, where he lives and I couldn't have been more overjoyed that there was nothing wrong after the crash, and being in a coma for nineteen days. I stayed with him until 10 pm that night because I wanted to know when he might get to go home. The doctor on staff said that if everything went well, Uncle Gabe would get to return to his apartment by the end of the month. Sure enough, Tuesday, March 30th; Uncle Gabriel was released from Berkian Memorial Hospital. After that; I think I was able to relax a little. Sadly; Troy and I had to start reporting back to Fort Archian for work. Our days weren't hard, but they were long and tiring. Sometimes we moved or cleaned things, and others we did PT and mission scenarios. Nope, never a dull day for work and it was on a pretty cool schedule too.

See, us warriors had work for three weeks, then in the last week, we'd get it off because we had weekend warrior training which was Friday at 5 am to Sunday at 5 pm where we stayed at Fort Archian to run war-like situations to keep us sharp and fit for possible deployments. I hope we didn't have another tour coming up because I'm still trying to recover from the first one. Upon returning to do military-related things; we were sent for evaluations to make sure we were okay with the deployment; anything we might have seen to affect us in doing our jobs. I had a case of PTSD, but it wasn't severe or anything the examiners were going to worry about unless it got worse. All military returning from war and trying to adjust to civilian life was difficult. I flinched hearing things that sounded or looked like guns and bombs, I don't like loud horns or alarms. And I dealt with minor nightmares about losing Kody Nyght and Sonny Stones. Why them? I was there for their deaths unlike with Kristopher Hunters, Sydney Ostberg, and Tucker Wayver. I watched Kody get shot twice, and ended up being the one to carry his body, and then Sonny was holding my hand on the chopper before he died. On top of all that; I'm still mourning the loss of my grandfather, who also died holding my hand in the hospital room.

At the moment, I was actually only awake because of a nightmare. I sat up in bed fast, panting and flipping on a light and trying to calm myself down.

"Babe?" Troy pushed himself up and put a hand on my shoulder. "Are you alright? What's wrong?" he asked.

I closed my eyes. "It's just another nightmare, Troy," I told him.

"What did you see?" Troy inquired gently while handing me the water bottle from his nightstand.

"The night Kody died," I admitted, then took a drink. Troy gave me a squeeze. "I'm okay, really," I assured him. Troy didn't seem convinced, but also, it was 3:20 am, and we weren't going to fight about it. Troy knew about the PTSD, I couldn't not tell him what came back in my evaluation report. Though, Troy already kind of knew because I was having nightmares after we got home.

"Alright, if you need me; let me know. I love you," Troy said as he kissed my cheek.

"I love you too," I replied, then Troy went to lay back down. I took a few more breaths before setting the water bottle down, then turning off the light and drifting off to sleep once more.

(June 2021)

[Raven Point Park]

Aside from dealing with my slight case of PTSD, and mourning my grandfather still; there were other things starting to bring me down. I remember at one point my friends telling me that they try to hang out on Saturdays and Sundays whether it be relaxing at the park, or going to breakfast, lunch, or dinner together. I thought that because I was home, maybe we could see each other more, but I guess I was wrong. All through May, I'd ask if they wanted to get together to catch up, and we'd make plans, but a lot of them never came to pass. I know everyone is busy with work, but last I was informed; they all took weekends off to hang out. The only weekend I couldn't take part in was the first one of every month for drill. Some reasons to break our hanging out plans made sense and others felt deliberate that they just didn't want me around. Why did I think that? Because we'd make arrangements, then last minute; they would change to them not being able to come. And it wasn't just one or two; it was all. It felt deliberate because Troy and I would go do something, and I'd find my friends together and with Avery too. At that point; I really wasn't about to step in and ask why they basically ditched me to hang with her. Troy and I would just walk the other way or leave to do something else.

"Hayden?" Troy got my attention. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, never better," I replied. I wasn't alright, but I'm sure I would be eventually. If my friends didn't want to hang out, then whatever. It shouldn't bother me this much, but it does.

"You've been staring off into the distance for about five minutes," Troy smiled a bit.

"I guess that's because the people who call themselves my friends keep ditching me to hang out with her," I nodded my head in a direction where not more than fifteen feet away, the group of friends was sitting together. When earlier that morning; they all told me they had important things to take care of, and maybe we could chill later.

"Maybe they are just trying to spend time with both of you, but at different times so you won't have to cross paths?" Troy suggested.

"Troy; it happened all through May," I sighed. "We'd make plans to get together, and a lot of them; they would bail a day before or last-minute saying they were busy, or something came up. You and I would decide to hang out or go on a date, then I'd see them doing nothing but hanging with her,"

"That's kind of messed up after everything," Troy stated.

"Why do you think it bothers me this much? If they didn't want to be friends…" I closed my eyes. Troy pressed his lips to mine, I blushed and kissed him back. We held that for a bit, making out a little. Out of nowhere…

"Avery, don't do it; you're just gonna upset Hayden again, or worse, piss off Troy," I heard Drew tell Avery. I broke the kiss and looked over to see Avery standing a foot away with the others a couple of inches behind her.

"What do you want, Avery?" I asked.

"I just wanted to see you, Hayden. The last time was November…" Avery admitted.

"I believe he has good reason to not want to see you," Troy huffed.

"Hayden, can't we talk about what happened?" Avery inquired.

"There is nothing to talk about, Avery. You chose to act on your feelings by kissing me because I looked miserable. And I suppose you don't know why I was, right? Might have had something to do with the fact I lost my grandfather a few days before; I think I reserved the right to be upset," I remarked.

"You're right, you did. I said I was sorry," Avery tried.

"Sorry doesn't change what happened," Troy began packing things up and standing, then helped me to my feet so he could collect the blanket we were sitting on.

"I'm not talking to you," Avery sighed.

"Perhaps not, but as Hayden is my boyfriend and you kissed him knowing he's already in a relationship, so I think I have the right to put my two cents in," Troy scoffed. "That being said, come on, Hayden. Maybe we can enjoy our date at home in the backyard,"

"I was wrong, I know I was. You can't avoid me forever, Hayden…We're friends. So why can't you forgive me, and we can all hang out again?" Avery questioned.

"Avery, what you did wasn't just some mistake, okay? You hu-," I began, but Troy stepped forward.

"You hurt him with your inconsiderate behavior," Troy stated coldly.

"And I said I was sorry," Avery said. "It's been six months! How long are you going to grudge against me for it?!" she glared.

"As long as Hayden hasn't forgiven you. Okay, this isn't just some little accident, and you can't just say you forgot the facts. For one; it was messed up for you to even consider that the appropriate action was to kiss Hayden while he was at the park to remember his grandfather who passed away only days before. Secondly, you reasoned that you've liked him for a while when that doesn't matter. You've known Hayden is gay since July 12, 2020, because I made sure to inform everyone at Gabriel's that Hayden and had been in a relationship for a year on the 16th of the same month. Which means that at the time of the unwanted kiss, you had known for four months Hayden is not only gay but in a stable, committed relationship with me. And lastly, you just had to make the situation worse by then realizing you fucked up and begged Hayden not to say anything to me to save your ass from my wrath," Troy stepped forward, glaring hard as Avery flinched a little.

"You're a cop, you should know better than to force yourself on someone else. It didn't have to be a sexual act; you knew Hayden didn't like and wouldn't have wanted to be kissed, but you did it anyway for whatever reason you had at the time. Hayden has the right to be upset when he's the one who ended up hurt, again, because of something you did. If I'm not mistaken; it was you who led the others to his house to blame him for something he didn't do, then abandon Hayden by throwing away your friendships with him. Hayden forgave you once, and it's entirely his decision to do it a second time. I know that I wouldn't; I don't give third chances. However, if Hayden decides to let this go and forgive it, then I will support him and tolerate you, but that doesn't mean I will forgive and forget. Now, you will leave him alone until he makes his choice, or I will have my father issue a no-contact order on you on the basis of constant harassment. If and when the time comes he chooses what to do; you'll hear from him. Have I made myself clear?" Troy said.

"Yes…" Avery nodded her head a few times.

"Good. I'm sick and tired of people hurting Hayden; he's suffered enough already, and not just her either…All of you are to blame for the past. It doesn't matter if it's three years later and you've been forgiven; people don't forget what happened. Now if you don't mind; my boyfriend and I are trying to enjoy an off day from work and have a date. Come on, babe," Troy grabbed the blanket, basket, and then held my hand as we started walking away. And suddenly…I felt like it's my fault that Troy is mad, also that Avery and he will never get along. And I can no longer shake the feeling that Avery has become something that is between Troy and me.

(Friday, July 16, 2021-4:00 pm)

[Mainland-Fort Archian]

I was filing through files of recruits who just finished Infantry Training Battalion so I could add them to Inferno Platoon. This is just one of my many jobs as Second Lieutenant. I had to pick who I thought would work well with the people I already had, then they'd join in at the next drill weekend in August. Troy would usually help me out, but I guess he is sick today. I felt like we were falling apart because ever since the situation with Avery at the park. Troy and I finished our date, but the rest of the night was pretty quiet for us. We discussed a few things regarding Avery, and Troy's kept saying all this weird stuff. Troy was asking me if I was sure I was gay, and that if I liked Avery back; I could be with her and he'd still be my best friend. I just didn't understand and it kind of hurt a little that he would assume I'd change who I am or that I wasn't who I was sure of just because Avery kissed me, once, and I pushed her off immediately afterward. The last couple of days have been…distant from my boyfriend. My friends hadn't been answering me, and it just feels like everyone is…avoiding me. It hurt; it really did.

My phone vibrated on the desk beside me as I glanced over to see a text from; My Boyfriend's Cell. I opened the message and looked.

Come right home after work, Hayden. We need to talk. {Received/Read; 1604}

The famous four words that get said between couples right before they break up. What had I done? Is this because of the Avery thing? I didn't want to lose Troy. Gods, we were we breaking up tonight? On our two-year anniversary? No. I wouldn't go there to be told things weren't working out. I-I didn't want to feel this way again. The last time I felt this depressed…I ended up at The Cove in Raven Point Park wanting to kill myself. Right about now; I feel like I'm losing everything again, and I didn't want to face anything, and the feeling of wanting to die was beginning to kick up. I needed to get out of here and be alone to think. I put the files away, then punched out for the evening as I caught the next bus to the transportation center to return to Berk. It would remain light out until 8:15 pm at least, so I might as well go to the park, and do some much-needed thinking.