Disclaimer: I own nothing but my own characters!!
A/N I reworked an old story of mine. It's called Back to good, I'd love it if you'd check it out. Reviews are always welcome as well! J
Peyton clung to Lucas, she had hoped his words would settle some of the doubt that had been creeping in, but they hadn't.
"Are you okay? What's wrong, Peyton?" Lucas asked worriedly, pulling her away so that he could see her face.
She nodded quickly, attempting to smile. She couldn't even put words to her feelings right now.
"I'm fine, just tired, I guess. I'm going to go and take a nap before the girls compete." She said brightly, faking another smile. Lucas raised his eyebrows at her, but simply nodded. She hurried to the elevator before he decided to press the issue. When she reached her door she was surprised to see Jake standing there.
"Jake?" She asked in confusion. She was certain that he was never going to speak to her again after their last conversation.
"Can we talk?" He asked as she unlocked her door. She nodded and motioned for him to come in with her.
Peyton sat nervously on the bed, watching Jake pace. She was more nervous to hear what he had to say then she was when she told him about her and Lucas.
"I want more than anything to hate you right now, Peyton. It would make this so much easier. I can't help but love you Peyton. For as long as I can remember, I've loved you. Even when we weren't together, I still loved you. I just need to know if at some point, during all these years, if you ever really loved me?" Jake asked bitterly, continuing to pace the floor. Peyton wanted, more than anything, to say something to comfort him, but she couldn't.
"Of course I did Jake. I've loved you in some capacity, since high school. You have to believe that!" Peyton cried out in frustration. She was angry at herself for causing Jake so much pain, and she was angry with Lucas for being the cause of her stupidity. She had become the kind of person she'd always detested. She'd given up all hope of any relationship with Jake or with Brooke, she was sure she'd hurt Jenny, although Jen would never to admit it, all for the love of someone she hadn't known since high school.
"I don't know if I can believe you, but I want to." Jake said slowly, turning to look at Peyton. She couldn't stop herself as she threw herself into his arms. For a moment, Jake returned her hug before he pulled her arms down from around his neck. He shook his head sadly.
"No, Peyton. You made your choice already. You made that pretty clear to me. I don't want your pity." Jake said harshly. He brushed passed her and walked out of her room. Peyton stifled the urge to run after him.
Peyton wished that she could go back in time and change her actions over the past few months. She didn't even recognize herself anymore. She had always been proud of the person that she was. She didn't feel that pride anymore. Instead she felt sadness and most of all, guilt. She'd dealt with more than her fair share of guilt in high school. Peyton had also promised herself back then, that she would never do what she and Lucas had done to Brooke, again. And yet, here she was, 16 years later in the exact same predicament, dealing with the exact same feelings. She knew what she needed to do, and it would probably be even harder than it was 16 years ago.