Sonic the Hedgehog and Sally Acorn were locked up in a cage behind the living quarters of a starship. With nothing, but a tree and bananas they needed an escape from this area. The cage was made out of metal bars with no way to get out other than by breaking through it or going through the wall of the ship itself. They had already tried the latter and that did not work at all. "Fuck if only Tails was still alive, he would probably do some nerd shit to get us out" Sonic shrugged as snot was building up in his nose. "But yeah, I guess we're stuck here for now." "Well, there's no use crying over spilled milk," Sally said trying to be optimistic about their situation. "You know what? I'M GONNA FUCK YOU! STUPID WHORE YOU'RE A DUMBASS" Sonic bashed Sally Acorn in the head and pinned her down. He was about to bust it down sexual style, something no white boy has done before. But then from beyond the cage a man stood from the outside. "Sorry about that sir, I was busy talking to all 9 of my girlfriends" The short robot said happily! "I am CL4P-TP, but everyone calls me ClapTrap!" "That's great and all, but can you help us out?" Sally asked with a smile on her face. "Sure thing, let me just get these bananas and a knife!" Claptrap went back inside the ship and came back out with a bunch of bananas and a big knife. "Oh wait I forgot the keys" Clap Trap said and went back to get them. Once he unlocked the door Sonic kicked him down. "WHERE THE FUCK ARE WE TWERP!" Sonic yelled at the top of his lungs. "Uh, I'm sorry about that sir, but I didn't want to leave you guys alone. And I really wanted to have sex with your girlfriend." Clap Trap emit from his modular voice box with glee. "But... WELCOME ABOARD THE STARSHIP PHEO-" ClapTrap couldn't finish his sentence as Sonic bashed his robot body until he shut up! "This is a ship?! How the fuck did you get us on a fucking spaceship?!" Sonic said with rage. "It's quite simple actually, I used portal technology to grab you two and teleport you here." A menacing doctor said walking into the room. "Oh where are my manors! I am Doctor Nefarious! I was the GREATEST EVIL GENIUS TO EVER LIVE!" Dr Nefarious yelled than coughed. Once he caught his breathe he uttered, "But I am no longer evil. You see our team on the Phoenix has gathered you hear to stop a threat millions of pantheons away!" "A threat? What kind of threat?" Sally asked. "The threat of a planet being destroyed by a new species called the Phazon." "Phazon?" Sonic asked. "Yes, Phazon. They're being controlled though by some mysterious evil genius and strong man no one has ever seen. A man so threatening he destroyed our last resistance immediately. The Doctor walked over to the table to grab some papers. "Whatever it is you two are somehow linked to this being! So it's in our best interests if you help us" The Doctor with a big green bulby glass radio head asked Sonic and Sally with graditude! "What do we have to do?" Sonic asked. *** FitMC and Spider-Man have made it to the tri-state area away from Mobius. "Well, our Realm Tear is out of juice we need to go back to the light of Alfheim" Fit said looking afar from the tall Danville skyscrapers. "I'll get it from there!" Spider-Man said with a huge grin on his face. "Okay then, let's go!" Spider-Man said with a small jump towards the sky he grabbed the Realm Tear and punched it for one last teleportation "TO ALFHEIM!" Spidey yelled as Fit jumped down after him. Once they landed in Alfheim, the world was filled with fog and rain. The buildings were all dark and the sky was cloudy. The two men ran down the streets with their guns ready for any enemies. "Wait this isn't Alfheim!" Fit spat out, "It's... DETROIT! SPIDEY GET DOWN!" Fit rushed to push Spider-Man away from the bullets, but he was too late. Spider-Man already dodged them. "Hey! What the hell!" Fit yelled with anger. "I got a feeling this is the place where my enemy lives, so I decided to come here first." Spider-Man explained as he took off his mask. FitMC was in shock, "So we are just in Queens? Queens, New York?" "No, we're in Detroit, Michigan." Spider-Man said. "WHAT THE FUCK! THIS ISN'T A REAL PLACE! WHY ARE WE HERE?!" Fit yelled. "I don't know, but something tells me that the light of Alfheim is..." Spider-Man paused. "Over... THERE!" Peter pointed to the beacon of light bursting from the ground. "Ready to Rock, Fit?" Spidey laughed ready to dart towards the light. "You know, I've been wondering about something. How do you always know when to duck?" Fit asked with a smirk on his face. "It's because I'm Spider-Man. And by the way that's your que to say..." Spider-Man started mouthing the words 'ready to roll, spidey' to Fit. "Alright, alright. Let's go!" FitMC said as he started running towards the light. "Spider-Man! I'm coming!" FitMC shouted as he sprinted towards the light of Alfheim. "HEY LINE!" Spider-man said swinging after him. During their trek they encountered numerous dark monsters and evil beings, but the two heroes had slain them one by one. "We're almost there, Peter! Just a little bit more!" Fit said as he dodged a giant shadow monster. "Peter, you know what? I think I've figured it out!" Fit said as he cut off a colossus dong from the beast. "Figured what out?" Spider-Man asked with excitement. "Why you said Line!" Fit said as he dodged another attack. "You wanted me to say 'Ready to roll, Spidey'" "That's it you dumbass!" Spider-Man and Fit Made it to the light and refilled the Tear. "So where to?" "To the fight of our lives!" Fit said as he started to run towards the portal. "What do you mean?" "I mean that I'm gonna kill the fuck out of this man who is threatening the entire multiverse! But first we got to rendezvous with Sonic and Sally! "And how are we supposed to find them?" Spider-Man asked. "They're not hard to spot, they're the ones in the giant Starship Phoenix flying around the galaxy!" Fit said with a laugh. After entering the Phoenix's internet ip into the tear the locked in to travel back! *** The two heroes made it back to Mobius. They were greeted by Dr. Robotnik who had a smug look on his face. "So, where is the Realm Tear?" He asked. Stunned Fit pulled out his enchanted Diamond Sword with Bane of Arthropods X "Who are you and how did you tamper with our teleporter?" Fit was serious ready to slay the mad doctor. "My name is Doctor Robotnik and I am the greatest evil genius to ever live! And you are going to tell me where the Realm Tear is right now!" Doctor Robotnik said as he walked closer to the heroes. "Uhm no you aren't!" Fit said stepping back, " is the greatest evil genius!" "Yeah? Well I'm gonna take that challenge! Now give me the Realm Tear or else I'll kill you both!" Robotnik said as he took out his sonic screwdriver. "Well, if you must know then here it is!" FitMC proceeded to do some insane parkour and stabbed Robotnik in the chest with the Realm Tear. The Tear burst Norwegian energy inside of his body hurting him. "OH MY GOD! IT BURNS LIKE HELL!" Doctor Robotnik screamed in pain. "You better give me the Tear!" "I will never give it to you, Doctor Robotnik, IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO!" Spider-Man took swift care of Robotnik breaking his neck with a single punch. "While we're here let's see if we can find any info!" Fit said we glee trying to act important! He found a document and found that Robotnik had traced the Phoenix's IP Address for an unknown adversary to launch a surprise attack on the ship. "Spidey... This doesn't look too good!" FitMC was biting his nails and crossing his legs like a girl as his tough guy persona dropped. "Well, we can't just sit around doing nothing! We need to find out where the Phoenix is heading!" Spider-Man said as he put on his mask and turned to fit. "Alright, I'll go and scout out the ship while you stay here." "WHY ARE YOU LEAVING ME!" Fit cried on his knees. "Because I have to be the hero and I'm the only one that can save the universe from this evil!" Spider-Man said as he jumped into the portal and vanished. *** "That was close" Sally said as she and Sonic walked through the halls of the ship. This ship was full of everyone in the known universe capable to defeating such a worthy opponent! In the Halls they met and saw some of their new allies. Warrior's such as Kevin McCallister, Jonathon Hills, Optimus Prime, Donkey Kong, PewDiePie, Black Widow, Trevor from GTA V, among others. After going to the ship's food court designed in the same fashion a Mall food court was designed Sonic starred at Sally and posed a valid question. "Say Sal-" Sonic was shoving fries down his throat, "Why didn't they get like I don't know, The Justic League? The Avengers? Like fuck are they-" Sonic gulped down his large pepsi, "Laazzzzyyy or what?" Sonic began coughing up his food immediately after. "What are you talking about?" Sally said confused. "Didn't you hear? Dr. Nefarious said their previous resistance was destroyed! Who else could their 'first' resistance of been made of?" Sally said she ate a single chicken nugget. "I mean the one thing that comes to mind is the Justice League!" "Justice League? That's it!" Sonic said with a huge grin on his face. "You know what this means?" "What?" Sally asked. "It means we can kick his ass!" Sonic said as he slammed his fist into the wall. *** "Welcome aboard the Phoenix!" A voice boomed from the speakers. "Please enjoy your flight and have a nice day!" The Phoenix shot into the air and disappeared from view. "Where are we going?" Sally asked Sonic. "I'm not sure, but I'm guessing that it's to the planet where this evil dude is." Sonic said as he walked to the bridge. "I hope you're ready to kick some ass!" The speakers and televisions burst as a man in a burgundy suit fleshed onto their screens! "Hello Phoenixians! I am your host Ron Burgundy, and this is the 6pm News." He smiled as the intro played showing him and his amazing news crew. "I'm joined tonight by my co-anchor Veronica Corningstone. You may remember her from such movies as: Anchorman 2, Hot Shots!, and the American Pie franchise. She's also been featured in many television shows including, Seinfeld, Friends, and Mad About You." Veronica was dressed in a tight red dress with long blonde hair and a golden tiara on her head. "Hello Ron!" Veronica said with a smile as she walked onto the set. "And of course, we have our very own weatherman Brick Tamland! Brick, what's the forecast?" "Hot! Hot! Hot!" Brick said with a big shit eating grin on his face "THIS NEXT PLANET IS BOILING HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT." Brick Tamland came in his pants and passed out "Brick, you know we don't really care about the weather." Ron laughed and asked, "So Champ Kind, what is our sports forecast tonight on The Phoenix?" "Champs!" Champ Kind said with a huge grin on his face as he waved to the camera. "This week we would of had some of the best teams in all of sports battling it out! BUT- We unfortunately don't have time for kids games anymore! However for you Hotshots we've got the hottest new sport in town to ready up for this war! INTRODUCING THE GLADIATOR GAMES! COME ONE COME ALL AND FIGHT TO YOUR DEATHS FOR A BUNCH OF AMAZING CASHPRIZES!" Champ Kind was wearing a pink shirt with a rainbow stripe on it and blue shorts. "Hey Champ, why do you always call yourself a champ?" Veronica asked with a smirk. "Cause I'm the fucking champion!" Champ Kind replied as he put his hands in the air. "And we're going to have to end this broadcast now because we're out of time. Remember folks, if you see anything suspicious, say something!" Ron pointed to the camera and smirked, "And remember... Stay Classy!" "Hey Sonic, how's it going?" Sally asked as she walked into the bridge. "It's going great! We just received a message from the Phoenix telling us where they're headed!" Sonic said as he sat down in the captain's chair. "So where are they going?" Sally asked. "I don't know, but I think it's somewhere cold!" Sonic said as he pressed a button and the viewscreen lit up with a winter wonderland. "How did you figure that out?" Sally asked surprised. "I just thought of something!" Sonic said as he pressed another button and the screen zoomed in on the sun. "Look at that! It's some gay ass fucking place called 'Midgard' it's for fags or something." "What?" Sally asked confused. "It's a Realm that is made up of mostly ice and snow! I bet that's where they're going!" Sonic said as he pressed another button and the viewscreen went black. "Y'know this story got super fucking boring" Sally said kind of pissed. "Don't worry!" Sonic said as he picked her up bridal style and carried her to their living area!" I'll make this fun for you!" Sonic said as he laid Sally down on the couch and turned on the TV. "Now, let's watch some good old fashioned porn!" Sonic pressed play on the remote and the screen lit up with a woman in lingerie giving oral sex to a man. "Lovely place right?" Sonic smirked at Sally. Their living area was a 8 by 11 room a mini fridge, a rotten and dirty couch, an old flatscreen and a trash all of the floor. To top it all off it looks like some kids wrote on the walls with sharpie. "No it isn't, Sonic! It's disgusting!" Sally said as she tried to cover her eyes. "Oh come on! You're such a prude!" Sonic said as he grabbed his dick and started to jerk himself off. "Aren't you gonna fuck me?" Sonic asked as he looked over at Sally with a huge grin on his face. "No! I'm not- not right now!" Sally said as she got up and walked to the fridge grabbing an expired tub of hummus. "I love you!" Sally said as she gave Sonic a kiss. "I love you too!" Sonic said as he pulled his pants down and started to jack off. To his surpise Sally started eating the hummus seductively looking at him. Sonic was wearing a JoJo cosplay and Sally was butt naked except for her blue jacket. Sally licked the hummus out of her hand and scooped up more. She got on the side of the couch and proceeded to open her asshole filling it with the expired hummus~ "Sally! What are you doing?!" Sonic asked. "What does it look like I'm doing? I'm lubing up!" Sally said as she licked her fingers and stretched her ass and filled it with more hummus. "What? Is a big boy like you too good to eat hummus out of my ass~?" "No! No! YES! Sonic said as he leaned in and started rimming her asshole filled with hummus scooping it out with his tounge. "Mmf! Mmmf! Mmmmf!" Sally moaned as she ate the hummus seductively. She then pushed Sonic's head away and turned around facing him. She spread her legs wide and lifted her skirt showing her pussy. She grabbed a handful of rotten olives from a food storage container and dropped them in her cunt. "Mmmf! Mmmf! Mmmmmf! MMMMFFF!" Sally moaned as she rubbed the hummus all over her pussy, rubbing it into her clit and fingering herself. "Mmmm... Mmmm... Mmmm..." Sonic dove in and began eating her out passionately. He sucked on her clit while eating her out and fucked her with his tongue. Sally screamed loudly as she came hard and filled his mouth with her cum. "Sally! What did you do to me?! Why am I so horny?" Sonic said. "Oh, don't worry about that. It's just hummus~" Sally said as she went back to eating the hummus. *** The lab doors burst open as Malcolm Wilkerson and were talking. "We're back!" explained Spider-man and FitMC. "What is going on here?" asked the doctor. "I found this strange device in the room where they had the scientist who helped us escape. The device looks similar to the one we used to get the other scientists back," explained Malcolm. "As long as Dr. Robotnik is alive we can easily fix this device and unite the doctors!" malcolm said with a huge little boy smile "Uh oh" Fit said under his breath... *** To Be Concluded