A/N: Finals are soon, so you may not hear from me for a bit. I'll be back eventually, but here's this for now. Enjoy!

Chapter 4: Reflection

"What happened to Peter," James asked again when the first time, the question was only met with blank stares.

Sirius knew that they were going to have to tell James and Lily the full story behind their deaths, as well as what happened afterwards, but there was something peaceful for them in ignorant bliss. The longer they didn't know was the longer that the world felt the same for them- before the war, before they went into hiding. But now, they would know everything, and they had that right, but it was a difficult story for them to tell. Sirius was preparing for James, the man who trusted all of his friends literally with his life, to learn of his old friend's betrayal.

James had to have known that Voldemort had gotten to Peter, of course, Voldemort would've needed to get through Peter first, but, the willingness of Peter's betrayal was something that James and Lily did not know as concern for their friend began to etch itself deeper and deeper on their faces.

"Padfoot," James said, much, much sterner this time. "What happened to Peter?"

There was no easy way to tell them this, so it was probably easiest to tell them quickly, like ripping off a bandaid.

"He sold the three of you to Voldemort," said Sirius in a blunt tone, much more blunt than he had intended. "He was a spy."

Sirius watched as his fear became true- the concern changed to shock, then to anger. He watched as everything Prongs had thought to be true to be ripped away from him.

"I found him days later and accused him for what he had done," Sirius continued. "He created a large blast as a distraction, so he could get away, but he killed twelve muggles in the process. I was the only one that was left after the blast, everyone thought that it was me that killed them, that betrayed you. That's why I went to Azkaban. I didn't have a trial, but I was to wait in that cell, rotting away until I died."

"Did you ever get out," Lily asked him quietly as it seemed that her throat had gone completely dry.

Sirius nodded, "I escaped as a Padfoot after twelve years, it took so long to gain the strength to transform myself. It was a big thing, everyone looked for me for years, I was, as far as they all were concerned, a murderous lunatic. I was until I died, I may even still be."

Harry shook his head, "you're not anymore, and you haven't been for a while. It took way, way too long, but your name was cleared, and Peter has been dead for years now."

Sirius swallowed and nodded," good." He wasn't sure whether he was talking about Peter or his newfound freedom.

"If it wasn't Sirius, who raised Harry," James turned to Remus, almost expectantly, but the man only shook his head.

"Dumbledore insisted that I was raised away from everything, in the muggle world," explained Harry. "So I was sent to live with Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia."

James and Lily only stared at their son, gaping. It was never what they had wanted, to be away from everything, even in the event that they had died.

"What the hell is a will for if no one followed it anyways" grumbled James. "We made a long list of people you were supposed to go to if we died, they weren't on it anywhere."

"Were they good to you at least," asked Lily. Harry hesitated before shaking his head solemnly.

"What else have we missed," asked Lily as her furrowed brow continued to deepen with concern.

They all explained everything, from how Harry survived, to him living with the Dursleys, to Hagrid giving him his letter, to Quirrell, to the Chamber, to Harry's fear of and eventual reunion with Sirius, to the tournament and Voldemort's rise to power, to the reinstallment of the Order, to Sirius's death, to Dumbledore's death, and everything that happened to Harry on the run, all the way until the final battle. It was a long, long story to tell, and to learn, but it was explained well by the rest, until Sirius, and eventually Remus, could tell nothing more.

"Now, why exactly did you have to hand yourself over to Voldemort," Sirius asked, after the telling was almost finished.

"Right, well you see, the night that Mum and Dad died and Voldemort fell, a piece of his soul needed to latch onto something," explained Harry.

Remus raised one eyebrow, "you don't mean…"

"I was a Horcrux, and that part of him needed to be destroyed before he died," said Harry. "So, I did what I had to. I didn't expect to not die, but here we are. After that, we were able to kill him."

"You handed yourself over that easily," James asked.

"I had no choice," said Harry. "It was either that or continue to watch him ravage the world until he got what he wanted."

James was only able to stare at him. Harry continued, "it's alright, I survived, I'm here, you're here, which is just…baffling. It had to happen or the world would be a cluster fuck."

"I understand," James said finally before stepping forward and wrapping his son into a hug. "I'm proud of you." Harry only was able to smile sadly.

It was strange to see the two of them together, obviously, but for James, and Lily alike, the way that they looked at Harry, full of total love and affection, had never changed, even after their deaths. And now, for however long they would all be together again, it would never change again.

How long would they remain alive? Was this permanent or would they never wake up after going to sleep again tonight? Sirius did not want to lose his one chance of being a free man, and Remus, Lily and James…well they had far too much to lose again. They had far too much to lose the first time around, hadn't they?

"Well then," said Harry, breaking the prolonged silence. "I have to leave, but I'll be back in the morning to check that you all are…okay." Sirius watched as Lily and James stepped forward to hug their son goodbye. He also did not hesitate to pull his godson into a bearhug.

Once he released Harry, Sirius expected Remus to be there waiting, but he wasn't. Instead, he and Tonks stood several steps away from them, both seeming to be in their own little world.

"Do you need anything," she asked him. She had been uncharastically quiet tonight, though what exactly does one say to their dead spouse, dead cousin, and their dead friends?

He only shook his head before gently cupping cheek and bending down to place a tender kiss on her lips. It was a type of affection that Moony never would have displayed publicly before. But, here he was doing just that. A lot could change in the matter of a few years, Sirius supposed. He tried to help it, he really did, but Sirius could not resist the urge to let out a rather loud wolf-whistle.

The couple broke apart and Remus looked back to Sirius, not embarrassed as he had expected, but playfully annoyed. Merlin, a lot really could change.

He turned back to her. "Are you sure you don't need anything," she asked again.

"Dora, I don't even know what's there," said Remus.

Dora, Sirius questioned. He quietly snickered to himself.

"Just about everything," said Tonks. "I got rid of barely anything. Apparently I've been preparing for your resurrection for the last thirteen years."

"Why don't I just come with you then," Remus suggested. Tonks nodded.

"If you want to."

Harry, Remus, and Tonks all left with a promise to return in the morning, bringing whatever items they feel could be used by Lily, James, and Sirius. The latter had seated themselves across two of the three couches that adorned the room. They even, from Sirius's memory, felt like the ones in the common room. However, no matter how tired the three of them grew or how comfortable the couches were, none of them gave in to the temptation of sleep.

Lily and James were probably thinking the same way as Sirius- if they fall asleep now, how is it certain that they will ever wake up again. They had all died once, surely it must be easier the second time around.

This left Sirius just staring at the couple, the once long-dead couple, now just sitting in front of him, very much alive and breathing. It was so unfair of how well James knew Sirius, but well, James doesn't know much about Sirius anymore. No matter how much he doesn't want to admit it, Sirius knew that Azkaban had changed him, in both looks and spirit. It crushed him in a way that would be hard for anyone to overcome, let alone someone who was blamed for his best friend's death, which he never properly grieved. Sirius was then perceived like everything he never wanted to be, tried his hardest not to be. In the eyes of the world, he was no better than Bellatrix, or Regulus, or any of the other no good filth of his ancestry.

"Are you alright, Pads," James asked groggily, seeing the expression on his friend's face. James- still twenty-one year old James because the world sucked and there was nothing that the three of them, or Harry, or Kingsley, or Remus, or Tonks, or Hermione, or any Weasley could do about it, because no matter what, death eaters or no, Voldemort or nothing, something always would get in the way.

"I'm fine," said Sirius, his voice strained.

"Okay, if that shit never worked with Remus, what makes you think you'll be any different," James asked, raising one eyebrow as he waited for an answer, the real answer.

Sirius didn't have one though- well, he did, but he didn't know how to say it. Instead, he got up from his spot on the couch before basically tackling James into the back cushions of the couch.

"I'm sorry," he cried. His grip on James's robes became tighter as the tears began to flow from his eyes. "I'm so sorry."

"Sorry for what," James asked, gasping as he hugged his friend back, "none of this was your fault, Padfoot."

Oh but it was, it all was, Sirius thought. He started to cry harder. It was the guilt that had thrived while he was in Azkaban,which was part of the reason why he had no strength to escape sooner. The dementors fed off of the guilt Sirius carried through those twelve years for James's and Lily's death, for Harry being orphaned. It was the guilt that continued to plague him while he was on the run, every time he saw Harry, saw Remus, who had been left alone for twelve years in nothing but his self-deprecating despair.

"It was," he cried. "I should've been your secret keeper like you asked, but I said to pass it to that backstabbing git, and you were killed. Voldemort would've come after me and I would have denied you till death, you both would've lived just fine with your son."

"You think I would've loved 'just fine' if you had died in my name," asked James, flabbergasted. "Don't be an idiot, Pads."

"How would you know? You never got the chance to find out," said Sirius.

"How did you feel after I died," asked James.

"Terrible. Nothing was ever going to be the same, Azkaban or not."

"Exactly," said James. "Stop listening to your mother for a second and understand that you're not a liability, that people actually like having you around. Stop trying to die for me, and actually live now that we both have the fucking chance to."

Sirius nodded before detaching himself from James. Now, Lily had latched herself on to Sirius as he had done to James.

"God, Azkaban fucked you up, didn't it," she asked.

"Life fucked all three of us up in it's own ugly way," Sirius responded. "I hate the world."

"I would too if I were you," said Lily. "The world was rubbish to you, and to Remus."

"It wasn't too kind to you two either," said Sirius.

"I would beg to differ," said James. "I was given quite a lot in such a short amount of time. A lot more than I thought I was going to get, no matter how much I wanted it."

"I feel like this is a knock at me," said Lily as she detached herself from Sirius to look at her husband.

James smirked, "maybe it is then."

Lily grabbed one of the large, overstuffed pillows before walking James over the head with it, knocking his glasses off of his face. James didn't waste time wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her down, laying her across his lap as both of them laughed as they always had. They were finally going to have the chance to, so maybe Sirius should too.

Eventually, Sirius must have dozed off because when he awoke the sun could be seen poking itself over the horizon .Sirius looked back over to James and Lily, who were both still asleep, Lily still in James's lap. However, they now looked different than they had only a few hours ago.

Gone were the youthful faces that they had died with, they were replaced with ones more lined and wrinkled. Not a lot, but it was definitely noticeable. Another thing that was noticeable were the gray hairs that were dispersed on James's head, those had definitely not been there earlier.

Sirius got himself up from the couch and walked over to the mirror that adorned one of the walls. Same thing for him, more lined and now his hair was graying. He looked…well… fifty-one he supposed. Were they all permanent now?

James and Lily both began to stir on the couch and with one look at one another, and at Sirius, he knew he was not alone in his thinking.

"We're old," said James, breathlessly when he looked in the same mirror as Sirius.

"This is a good thing though, right," asked Lily.

"I suppose," said Sirius. "We're becoming a part of the world again, in a way."

"At least our son isn't older than us anymore," said James, toying with the gray hairs atop his head. "Could've done without this, but it's fine."

"I wonder if Remus looks different too," said Lily.

"I mean, he was already pretty gray, so I guess he will beat us out by a long shot," said James.

"Remus would beat us out even if twenty year old him walked through the door right now," said Sirius.

James pondered on that for a moment," Remus looked happy, last night, with Teddy and Tonks and everything."

"As much as he wanted to deny it, he was always happy with Tonks, a different happiness than he was with us," said Sirius. He could still remember those conversations, ones that the two of them had shared numerous times.

'I don't understand what you're talking about,' said Remus. 'We're friends, you're supposed to have fun with friends, you're supposed to laugh with friends, you're supposed to enjoy a friend's company. Why is she suddenly different?'

'Because it is different, Moony,' Sirius said, 'and the sooner you realize that the sooner you can be happy, so please, let yourself be happy.'

"I'm happy for him," said Lily. "He deserves to be happy, after everything he's gone through."

Lycanthropy, war, losing his friends, losing countless jobs, barely being able to provide for himself due to prejudices, happiness was the least Remus deserved.

Sirius's ears began to perk up when the doorknob of the entrance began to turn, and the large doors began to swing open. However, it was not Harry nor Remus nor Tonks, it was Minerva McGonagall along with two more men behind her, both of whom Sirius recognized.

"Allow me to introduce you to Ted Tonks and Fred Weasley," she said to the three occupants. "They come from the woods too."

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