"It's almost been 5 years since the Flying Scotsman's accident which ripped apart his valve gear! But we're now here he is finally ready to depart Sodor and into his newest and most extensive restoration yet!" A news reported crowed as he stop beside the Flying Scotsman stopped at Vicarstown with Bittern.

Around him dozens of cameras flashed, irritating the Bittern and the famous A3.

Bittern scowled annoyed but Flying Scotsman flashed everyone a charming grin no matter how much he wanted to roll his eyes and tell these people to bugger off.

"Now I remember why I hate travelling with you," Bittern said grumpily. "You attract a bloody circus."

"We got a 7 hour journey bluebird, get used to it," Scotsman teased and Bittern gave a huge groan.

"This is the WORST!" He complained and the Flying Scotsman just laughed at him.

Scotsman's attention turned to Gordon and Thomas as they pulled up on opposite sides of the platform. James and Henry sat behind them with Donald and Douglas taking up the rear. They'd all come to see him off and he felt touched.

"I guess this is good-bye Little Brother," Gordon said quietly. Scotsman could see that Gordon was holding back tears. He resisted the urge to mock him and smiled.

"Good-bye for now, but not forever," Scotsman assured the big blue engine. "Thank-you, for looking after me Gordon. I truly owe you a lot."

"Promise me you'll look after yourself?" Gordon asked.

"I promise Gordon, Scotsman's honour," the Scotsman said.

"Say hello to City of Truro for me," Gordon added and the Scotsman grinned.

"Of course, the old man is probably going to have words with me about a lot of things," Scotsman laughed. "Take care of Tornado and Green Arrow for me won't you?"

"You can count on it," Gordon grinned. "No one's going to touch Arrow with us looking out for him."

"We're all going to miss you Flying Scotsman!" Thomas chirped next to him and Scotsman have the tank engine a warm smile.

"I'll miss the lot of you rough and tumble engines," he said with a chuckle. "You're all such a wonderful, quirky bunch. But sadly, the mainland calls!"

Bittern and Flying Scotsman suddenly gave huge blasts of their whistles as they began to move off.

"Onwards to York noble bluebird!" The Flying Scotsman jeered.

"I'm not a bloody steed you silly old man!" Bittern complained but he was drowned out by the whistles and cheers of the sudrian engines and the spectators.

Flying Scotsman didn't answer as he felt himself tear up as Bittern began to pull him away from Sodor and across to the bridge from the Island.

For the longest time, the Scotsman was silent.

It felt like he was leaving part of himself behind on Sodor. He missed the simplicity of it, the friendships.

He had no idea how the mainland had changed in the last five years. It made him nervous to think how it had changed.

Deep in his boiler, fear was beginning to rise.

He thought he was over his fear of the cutter's torch, of being worked on and restored. But the memories of the pain and the many many days and nights of suffering he had endured began to suddenly appear in his mind.

"Flying Scotsman?" Vincent asked, poking his head out of his cab window. "You're applying your brakes, is something wrong?"

"Am I?" He asked, stirring from his thoughts. "Oh, I am."

His brakes were barely on but they were still grinding his wheels painfully. He quickly released them and seemed to become more alert.

"Scott?" Bittern asked as he pulled him along slowing down. He couldn't see his face but he knew that his cousin was worried. "What's going on?"

Flying Scotsman was silent for a long time.

"I'm just nervous I guess," the Scotsman mumbled to himself quietly. "I just feel… off. Nothing mechanically wrong just… off."

"Do you want to stop and rest?" Vincent asked and Scotsman looked back at Vincent.

"No, I'm fine," Scotsman said brightly regaining his composure. "But may I request to see Truro privately on the way to the Steamworks?"

"Of course Scotsman," Vincent smiled at him.

The Scotsman wanted to smile back but a dark foreboding feeling in his boiler kept creeping into his mind and making him anxious.

Something felt off. He didn't know what but it did.

The doors the Truro's berth opened and he was met by Bittern sitting outside on the turntable.

"Good evening Bittern," Truro greeted him politely.

He held in his excitement. He had missed Flying Scotsman. It had been a rough five years for him although he would never admit it to anyone.

He missed having Scotsman to confide in. He missed his companionship.

He was never bothered when other engines went away for significant amounts of time.

When Flying Scotsman was away however he really noticed his absence. He busied himself into overdrive so he wouldn't notice the longer days without him.

When he hadn't been working he found his mind drifting to Scotsman and it plagued him with anxiety.

Bittern rolled off of the turntable to let Flying Scotsman on to back into his berth beside Truro.

Vincent and Oscar closed the berth doors to afford the two some privacy from Bittern before going into the museum to catch up with Stainer.

There was a moment of awkward silence.

"Well did you miss me you old coot?" Flying Scotsman suddenly blurted out.

Truro rolled his eyes.

Always dramatic this one.

"You're an idiot," he retorted.

"Yeah, I know," Scotsman said glumly. "I've always been an idiot."

Truro sniffed annoyed.

"Do you have any idea how much trouble you've caused the Duchess, Sir Nigel and myself?" He snapped annoyed.

"Tornado gave me a pretty good idea," Scotsman said quietly. "The poor girl was struggling."

"I heard," Truro said. "I should have realised. She was young, I thought she could handle your work."

"She's still a child Truro," Scotsman pointed out. "You need to be lenient with her. She said she talked to you and PenPen but it didn't help."

"I hope that she is getting the help she needs on Sodor," Truro said.

"She is loved there, they'll look after her I am certain," Scotsman said. "Green Arrow's doing alright for himself too. He might be a pest, but he has his reasons."

Truro gave a soft hum in reply.

He didn't care much for the engine but Truro always saw the engine as simply not finding his place in the world.

Maybe now he had found it.

"I worked myself almost down to my axles while you were gone," Truro murmured quietly. "Being alone with my thoughts, missing you, worrying about you when you were missing… I couldn't, I couldn't bare it."

"Truro?" Scotsman asked concerned.

"How could you do this?!" Truro suddenly snapped angrily. "Do my feelings mean nothing to you? I was so worried about you! I- I- these past five years… Not even a note or a hello!"

The Scotsman was silent.

He truly couldn't defend himself or his actions. He knew he'd hurt so many people with his little disappearing trick.

Gordon. Tornado.

But he knew he should have told Truro.

Truro, of anyone he knew, would keep his word. Would have remained silent on his plan, no matter how much he protested it's stupidity.

"Did you not trust me Scott?" Truro asked, sounding heartbroken. "I thought that we were… intimate."

The Scotsman stared at the doors of his berth for a long while unable to say anything. He'd expected Truro to yell and berate him, but seeing his closest companion so upset and sad… somehow broke him even more.

"I don't know what to say," Scotsman finally spoke after a long uncomfortable silence. "I have no excuses for my actions Truro. I was stupid, selfish and dumb. You are completely justified in being angry at me."

Truro only stared at Flying Scotsman quietly.

"I'm not angry," Truro said, his voice barely over a whisper. "I understand why you did it, I'm more upset you didn't trust me."

"I didn't even trust myself," the Scotsman said weakly. "I honestly thought, I thought I was going to fail. I was sure I was."

"And you thought that was okay? To just leave and not say anything?! What if you had been scrapped? What if you had died! You very nearly did from what Spencer told me!" Truro suddenly exploded in anger. "I wouldn't have known anything! I would have spent the rest of my life not knowing what happened the the engine I-"

Truro stopped and looked at Flying Scotsman angry tears falling down his face.

"How could you do this?" Truro whispered quietly. "We promised to be truthful with each other."

"I never meant to hurt you," Scotsman said his voice cracking as he grew more and more upset. "Please, I'm truly sorry. I'm sorry, Truro."

Truro said nothing for a long while.

He simply sat staring at the doors of his berth while Flying Scotsman sat beside him, looking broken hearted and sorry for himself.

They'd been through a lot together. Once they couldn't stand the sight of each other, almost always at odds with the other, the both of them the pride of their own railways.

He remembered when news spread of the famous Flying Scotsman was to be sent to the scrapyard. He'd been gleeful, much to his shame. He'd been jealous when Scotsman had been saved and laughed when he'd been stuck in America. But the tour had changed him when he returned.

Back then, things had been simple.

At least until Mallard had come along and achieved his record.

Truro had found the young A4 intolerable, most engines did. It wasn't until he had found Mallard had tricked a crew into taking Flying Scotsman to a scrapyard that he had any reason to care for the engine.

Truro had never seen such a proud engine so vulnerable, so scared and so hurt.

The two had formed an alliance that stood to this day.

Together they were strong and had remained so despite everything that had been thrown at the both of them.

They'd been together so long that Truro honestly could no longer be without Flying Scotsman. It was so odd and so strange.

He once loathed the engine for stealing his thunder.

Now he couldn't bear a world without him.

"I don't know what I would do, if I lost you my dear, Flying Scotsman," City of Truro croaked out quietly. "Please don't do anything like this ever again."

"I promise," Scotsman assured Truro. "I promise to never do something foolish again. And if I do, may Gresley come back to life and send me to the scrapyard himself."

"I will hold you accountable to this," Truro warned sternly.

"I don't doubt that you will."

Truro was still upset, but seemed to accept it for what it was.

He looked at the Scotsman who looked more miserable than he'd ever seen him. He was genuinely upset and looked as though he'd been dreading this meeting for such a long time.

They both had things to sort out it seemed.

They'd been through worse. They would get through this little hiccup.

"Chin up old boy," Truro said kindly. "You've returned to us and you will be stronger than ever when your rebuild is done."

The Scotsman visibly flinched when Truro mentioned his rebuild. Truro frowned. From what he'd been told, Scott had gotten over his nightmares and his fears of the cutter's torch.

"Scott?"

"I- I- I- stopped having nightmares for a long time. The nightmares stopped since I confronted Cain," Scotsman mumbled suddenly shaken.

"But they've started to come back?"

"They're worse than ever now," Scotsman said quietly. "I don't know why."

"Perhaps it's the anxiety of your rebuild? You always had difficulty dealing with the steamworks," Truro suggested. "But be reassured, I have been 'put into storage for now' by the museum."

"Why?" Scotsman asked confused. "You're as big of an attraction as me."

"I will be there to accompany you during your rebuild, to watch over you and keep you company," Truro smiled at Scotsman. "The rebuild team know of your troubles and are working to find ways to accommodate you."

The Flying Scotsman looked unsure.

"Maybe Green Arrow should take my rebuild instead, he needs it more than me," Scotsman said.

"Green Arrow was sold to the Island of Sodor under conditions," Truro explained. "They are giving him the rebuild he needs and his voicebox has been found and is going to be restored. And it would be a breach of trust to use the money for anything other than your restoration. The money was funded under the promise to return you, to your former glory."

"Oh, I see," the Scotsman simply said. He looked away from Truro and stared at the ground nervously. "Well I'm glad Arrow has his restoration, he deserves it."

Truro stared at Scotsman. He knew the engine was petrified of his upcoming rebuild. He'd only ever seen him this frightened very few times.

"Scott-" Truro began but he was interrupted by Vincent and Oscar coming back with Stainer in tow.

"Flying Scotsman! It is good to see you back at the museum after all this time!" Stainer greeted the engine with a hearty laugh.

Scotsman immediately put up his guard and jumped back into his confident cocky facade.

"Well now you can't get rid of me that easily now sir! You should know that by now!" The Scotsman teased back with a wink. "It's one of my best abilities sir."

Truro inwardly sighed. It always annoyed him when Scotsman put up this show to hide his true feelings but the Pacific was a stubborn old stallion.

"I'm afraid I have some bad news for you," Stainer said grimly. "We're going to have to postpone your restoration while we conduct an investigation."

"An investigation?" Scotsman asked concerned. "Am I in trouble?"

"No, no, no, Scotsman, certainly not," Stainer assured him. "As it turns out we have found a culprit for the removal of Green Arrow's voicebox."

"Cain?" Scotsman asked with an angry scowl.

"As a matter of fact no, the person who convinced Yvonne to vandalise Green Arrow wasn't a human but an engine," Stainer explained.

"An engine?" Truro asked bewildered.

"Yes, it was Mallard," Stainer said and a shocked silence fell over the two engines. Stainer continued however. "We dug deeper and found that the vandalism on Green Arrow was only a test run by Mallard to see if he could pull it off."

Truro's eyes widened as he realised what Stainer was insinuating.

"Sir, maybe you shouldn't tell Scotsman he's not mentally-"

"Mallard was testing to see if he could pull off trying to kill me," Scotsman said coldly interrupting Truro. "He planted agents in my restoration crew to scrap me."

A silence permeated the sheds as Scotsman dropped his facade and looked completely broken and frightened.

"Yes, we have found that to be the case," Stainer said. "We only discovered these plans in the last couple of days so we were unable to confirm them before you came here. We will be sending you back to Sodor immediately for your own safety."

"But I- Truro-" Scotsman stammered.

He didn't want to be seperated from Truro so soon. Not after so long apart.

"There will be no arguments, Sodor is the safest place for you and Lady Olivia will be stationed there," Stainer said sternly but Scotsman glared down at him.

"I won't go without Truro," Scotsman stubbornly snapped.

"Scott it's okay," Truro tried to reassure his friend.

"No I won't go without Truro!" Scotsman demanded. He wavered on the verge of tears. "What if Mallard goes after him next? He knows how close we are please-"

"That's enough," Stainer said coldly. "We will organise you to return to Sodor immediately. If we can, we will organise your restoration on the island."

"No," the Scotsman snapped. "I want Truro with me. I need to know he's okay."

"Stop this childish behaviour at once," Stainer argued.

"Sir, you shouldn't-" Vincent tried to step in but Scotsman yelled over him.

"You don't order me around, Stainer," the Scotsman hissed venomously. "You don't have any power over a Gresley like me."

Stainer looked furious. He pointed a finger angrily at Flying Scotsman.

"I'll have you put on the back of a lorry and driven there by road if I have to," he warned and Scotsman looked furious.

"You wouldn't dare do something so undignified to me!" Scotsman shrieked angrily. "I am THE Flying Scotsman! I do NOT travel on some lorry like a filthy scrap engine!"

"That's enough!" Truro suddenly yelled out furiously. "Mr Stainer sir, Flying Scotsman is struggling with fears of his restoration. The paranoia about Mallard may push him over the edge. I ask that you stop antagonising him or things could end up as ugly as they did with Cain. I'm happy to go with Scotsman sir. I was taken off my rail tours just to make sure my friend would feel safe in his time of stress."

Stainer seemed to calm at Truro's words but still seemed riled up at Scotsman.

He straightened up.

"I will speak with Olivia," was all he said before walking off in a huff.

The Scotsman simply sat in his berth silently, clearly upset and struggling.

"I thought… I was over this… I thought I was better," he croaked weakly.

"Scott?" Truro asked concerned. "Is it because you've returned?"

"No, no, it's- I'm just anxious all the time these days," Scotsman looked away from his driver and fireman who were watching him with great concern. "The nightmares have started to come back. I don't know if it's because of the restoration but… It feels like I'm coming apart. I was in such a good place! Now I'm just going backwards again!"

"Why didn't you tell us? We could have helped you," Vincent said.

"I didn't want to take any more attention away from Green Arrow," Scotsman fretted. "Or Tornado, they needed help and I've already caused enough trouble. And I never told you because… because I thought Pegler would come back again."

Vincent and Oscar looked at each other.

They'd known about the rumours of Pegler's ghost protecting Flying Scotsman but this was the first time they'd heard him actually talk about it.

Tears began to slip down Scotsman's face.

"I'm scared," he said, his voice weak and frightened. "I don't know what to do, please help me. I thought Cain was the problem, I thought I was getting better but- but- I feel even worse than ever. I don't know what's wrong with me."

Vincent climbed on to Scotsman's running board to comfort him and wipe away his tears while Oscar bowed his head and stared at the ground.

He would have to speak to Olivia.

He caught Truro's gaze and saw the Great Western looking distraught and helpless.

For updates, art and small short stories from the Young Iron AU, you can find me at tornadoyoungiron tumblr.