{Hayden's POV}

(Saturday, June 3, 2023-7:30 pm)

[Barbarian Burger]

I needed help. After blowing up at Troy earlier, I knew that without a doubt. I couldn't handle what happened while I was a prisoner. For Odin's sake, I got discharged because of my mental instability; that should have been the first clue that I wasn't okay. I suffer endless nightmares, flashbacks, and overwhelming depression. I should have gotten help for this after getting home, but I was a coward and said I could do it myself. Who was I kidding? I can't deal with this because it's not even just the capture; it's everything since I've joined. Everything I've seen, all the deaths, missions. Gods, everything affected me somehow. I knew the only way to deal with this was to talk about it, and the best person would be Troy; I've spoken to Troy about everything that bothers me, and I know he can help. It's been bugging me all day that I flipped out on Troy the way I did. And yet, I didn't have the balls to message him back, or maybe I wouldn't because I knew it didn't feel right to message an apology. Troy had asked a few times if I was okay when I might be done if I wanted him to save me something to eat.

I got to work and sat in the car for five or so minutes before going inside; I needed my head clear and to look presentable. I spoke with my manager, Shawn Helnor, and he promised he'd be back once he knows how his daughter was doing. I said I would stay through closing if he needed me, just to let me know. So far, nothing. After punching in; it was busy. Shawn left me his manager number; a four-digit code that would allow me to do voids, refunds, and overrides. Shawn bailed about 4:30, and I've been here since working through the dinner rush. Finally, it was mellow, so I was just making sure everyone was doing their jobs. When Shawn arrived, he thanked me, and I got up and headed out of the office, making sure to clock out, then get in my car to go home. I needed to talk to Troy, and apologize for snapping on him when all he wanted to do was help me through this.

. . .

{Normal POV}

[Troy & Hayden's Apartment]

Troy was worried; Hayden hadn't answered any messages from him. Troy felt like he messed up big time, and now he just wanted to do whatever he could to make it up to his husband. Everyone was still outside, and Troy had the torches to keep away bugs and light up the backyard.

"Still nothing from Hayden?" Dustin inquired. Troy shook his head a bit. All the guests were still present, even Donovan and Cody. They were hoping to see Hayden before it got too late, but as it stood; Hayden was still working.

"Well, you did kind'a tick him-," Tyler started, but Hailey and Rylee glare at him, then Avery punched him in the arm. Troy closed his eyes and turned his head.

"No, he's right. I told Hayden I wouldn't push him to talk and said he could come to me when he was ready. I made Hayden mad when I'm supposed to be supporting him and-,"

"Hayden," they whispered.

"Yes, supporting and helping Hayden," Troy muttered.

"No, Troy…Behind you," Harry tried. Troy went to reply, then he felt a hand on his shoulder. Troy whipped around to see Hayden standing there.

"Ha-Hayden!" Troy said in surprise to see his husband there. Hayden smiled a little. "A-Are you okay? I'm sorry about before. I just wanted to help because I can't stand to see you suffer the way you are. But I know that you'll tell me when you're ready, so I'm not gonna push you at all. Just…promise me you'll come to me if something is wrong, and know that I'm here for you. Please forgive me…I'm so sor-," Troy was cut off by Hayden leaning in and pressing his lips to Troy's in a semi-passionate kiss, cupping Troy's cheeks while he did so. After a few seconds, Hayden pulled away.

"There's nothing to forgive, Troy. I shouldn't have exploded at you the way I did a few hours ago when you were only trying to help me because you care. You've been here for me since the beginning as my best friend, teammate, ally, comrade, boyfriend, fiance, and now, my husband. You've helped me through any and every problem I've ever had no matter what it was. Hell, I might not even be alive if not for you. I'm glad you pushed me earlier," Hayden revealed.

"Yo-You are? B-But you told me to stop pushing you before you break…" Troy reminded.

"Because I realized that you can't break what's already broken," Hayden said as Troy stared at him. "Alright? I admit that. I'm a mess, and I meant what I told you before about being tired of feeling this way. I kept pushing it down, telling myself I'm okay or would be with time, but I'm not, and I can't do it myself. It wasn't until I got to work earlier that your words hit me and made me understand that you're right. I can't expect you to know how this is for me when I haven't told you. Talking to you in the past has always helped, and if I want to get through this…Then I have to tell you what happened while I was a prisoner in Afghanistan," Hayden interlocked his fingers with Troy's now.

"Hayden…Are you sure? I don't want you to push yourself before you're ready to talk about it," Troy said softly.

"Talking about what I went through won't be easy, but there's no way to be ready. I wasn't when I told Henderson or the Psychologist…But I did it anyway because it needed to be done; that was the only way to be released and come home. The situation hasn't changed; you need to know to help me get through it, so I have to tell you. I might break down again, but I'll probably feel a lot better after I do because I have you. Will you…still help me?" Hayden asked.

"Of course. Whenever you want to do it," Troy replied, smiling a bit. Troy was proud of Hayden for coming to him, and actually asking for help in this.

"No time like the present," Hayden mentioned.

"You mean now?" Troy blinked.

"Once everyone leaves," Hayden responded.

"Wait, why can't we know?" Spencer asked.

"It's nothing you need to know about," Cody remarked.

"He's our son," Vivian protested.

"That doesn't matter, Viv. None of you are going to be able to do much to offer comfort, so leave this to Troy," Gabriel rolled his eyes. "You don't have experience in handling Hayden's depression, attacks, flashbacks, or breakdowns. Troy does,"

"Well, we want to help," Avery frowned.

"You aren't allowed to know," Donovan stepped in now. "It's military related, and civilians can't know a lot of things that happen overseas,"

"Hayden isn't military anymore," Shane muttered.

"But what happened to him did take place when he still was, so enough already," Cody huffed. Hayden's phone rang as he answered it.

"Don't tell me you need me to come back?"

"Hayden, it's Mike. I showed up seconds after you left and Shawn bailed. I don't know where people are supposed to be because they are all new hires and I've been out for two weeks,"

"Just find the schedule," Hayden stated.

"I can't find it! You know Shawn is disorganized as shit,"

Hayden facepalmed. "Unfortunately, yes I do; he reminds me of someone else who was wicked disorganized," Hayden smiled a bit. "Gods rest his soul," he shook his head. "Alright, get a piece of paper,"

"Got it,"

"Brandy on sandwiches. Ashley on front. Caleb on the grill. Suzanne on fries and corner; she can run for Ash. Kim on drive-thru. That's where they are best at in my opinion and should get you through the night until close at midnight," Hayden said.

"What about this new guy. Uh, his name is Johnathon Traytor? Show him backcash?"

"We don't open backcash at night. Come on, how long you been working there now? You're a shift supervisor; you know how it works. Partner him with Suzanne; she can teach him fries and runner," Hayden muttered.

"Awesome. You're a lifesaver, Hayden!"

"I've been told. You good the rest of the night because I'm busy with my husband," Hayden informed.

"Oh, got ya. Sorry if I interrupted anything. Have fun!"

"Oh, my Gods; we're not doing anything! Is your mind always in the gutter? And you wonder why you're twenty-seven and still single," Hayden rolled his eyes.

"Hurtful! You're so mean. I'm still single because you won't love me!"

Troy arched a brow. "For Thor's sake, Michael. Don't even go there because we both know you're not gay or bisexual. You're a fucking player, but you aren't into men. I do love you…As an annoying older brother that I'd kill for a chance to beat up. Now, you have a shift to run. So goodnight, Mike," Hayden ended the call.

"Do I want to know?" Troy asked.

"Mike is a child in an adult's body; he's an idiot, and anything he says should be ignored," Hayden sighed.

"Huh. Alrighty then," Troy shrugged as he pulled Hayden close, which Hayden cuddled into.

"I think it's a good time for us to step out," Ethan chuckled. Not long after a few goodbyes. Inferno members, Cody, and Donovan had left with the firm hint for the others to do the same.

Dustin cleared his throat. "We should be leaving too," he said as Rachel, Cole, and Rosanna, with Evelina in her arms left.

"Okay, we get the picture; we'll go too!" Drew laughed as he, Fisher, and Hailey left. Then it was Shane with the twins. Avery departed next. Gabriel basically had to drag Spencer and Vivian away. Troy shut down the lanterns outside as Hayden went in to take a quick shower.

. . .

[Master Bedroom]

Troy and Hayden met in the bedroom after locking up. Hayden was wearing his brown sweatpants and a green t-shirt. Troy had grabbed two water bottles from the fridge, and Sharpshot was comfortably sleeping on Hayden's lap.

"You sure you want to do this tonight?" Troy asked.

Hayden nodded. "I'm sure," then he took a breath. "I got knocked out after the explosion from the grenade. I came to a few minutes later and was surrounded by six or seven guards with guns. I was hit with a weapon and went unconscious a second time. The next time I woke up; I was locked in a cell. My guns and knives, radio, boots, belt, hat, and outer coat had been taken. I couldn't really tell what time it was, and not much else happened until the sun came up. The first two weeks were getting beat up for information, they wanted to know why I was there and how I found the base. I refused to talk, of course. A lot of that was being tied to a chair and getting smacked around, punched, or hit with the butt of a gun,"

"I assume that it got worse as week three started?" Troy inquired.

"That whole weeks was getting cut or stabbed, hung up by my arms for them to get at my ribs and stomach. Going into week four was being whipped and burned. The final week involved simulated drowning, ice baths, and sleep deprivation. Every week had included a little starvation, no sleep, and a daily two or three beatings. It was…awful, and a lot of times…I didn't think I would survive it," Hayden looked down.

"What pulled you through, and made you keep fighting?" Troy wondered.

"You did," Hayden revealed as Troy was shocked. "I-I felt you with me, telling me to be strong and find a way to come home to you. Every day I was there, Troy, I would think about you and know you were waiting for me,"

"How did you escape?" Troy asked. "Donovan said you tricked them,"

"I did. I made them think I was really sick and dying. I started it with coughing hard, groaning in pain, finding a way to make myself sweat and them feel it was a fever. I forced myself to throw up, and finally, make them believe I passed out. Two guards came into the cell to take me out, and I assume, kill me as I was no longer of use to them. I don't know, I just fought. I got one on his back, took the gun from the other and just started getting through the base, looking for an exit. I found the block where they had other prisoners, so I located the control room and pulled the lever to release them all. They ran for it while I set traps in the compound; a bunch of grenades. Once those were going off, I got out a used an RPG launcher to bury the place," Hayden informed.

"And…Why didn't you return with the others?" Troy questioned.

"I was too weak and tired from everything. Enemies were slinking around, those who got out from the destruction of the base. I took refuge with some friendlies who helped me out, then got me back to the outpost. And…you know the rest from there," Hayden said. Troy leaned over and pulled Hayden close.

"I'm sorry you had to go through all that, babe. But I promise we'll get you past everything. I think it might be best to talk to a professional, Love. Only because they know ways to make this easier," Troy offered.

"Will you still be with me?" Hayden asked.

"Of course, baby. And maybe a doctor can give me tips to help you here at home. You don't just suffer from the five weeks as a prisoner; everything keeps coming back. Friends we've lost, the thing's you've see…I'm not a professional, and I just want to make sure we get you all the help you need. You don't have to; I won't make you, Hayden. But it might make recovery go a little faster?" he suggested.

"I'll try anything at this point. I won't lie to you, Troy…Before tonight when you got through to me; I-I was feeling really low a-and started thinking about hurting or killing myself. I just can't handle the nightmares or flashbacks," Hayden held onto Troy.

"I know; I felt that might be the case, which is why I wanted you to talk to and let me help you. Alright? It's okay. We'll find a professional for you, and I'll be with you every step of the way," Troy smiled a little, lifted Hayden's face and kissing him lightly. Hayden returned it, then the two laid down in their bed, cuddling up. Sharpshot was at the foot of the bed, and Troy turned off the light. "I love you, Hayden,"

Hayden smiled and snuggled into his husband's arms; feeling a lot better than he had in a long time. "I love you too, Troy," Troy kissed him again, then the two slowly drifted to sleep with the plan set to get Hayden the help he needed and wanted.