{Hayden's POV}
(Saturday, August 5, 2023-11:45)
[Raven Point Park; The Cove]
I was finally starting to feel like me again. As in me before everything went wrong in 2018. Amazing what a couple months of therapy could fix, but it wasn't just those office visits. I had Troy too. I'd gotten past a lot of the things I have seen, the deaths of close friends, the torture. I wasn't entirely recovered, and I knew there would be harder days, but I was sure I had the tools now to be able to handle the situation and cope with it. I planned on continuing therapy a bit longer, at least until the end of this month. A lot of things have changed since I've been home from Afghanistan. Hailey and Fisher are now engaged, set to be married in the Springtime of 2024. Three more of my friends have somehow taken an interest in members of the Inferno Platoon. Avery and Theodore. Rylee and Ethan. Finally, Tyler and Willow. Shane was seeing a girl who was one of his regular customers at the fitness center; her name is Mindy Wing. Rylee and Ethan are dating as of June 2023. Avery and Theodore aren't official, but I suspected that wouldn't be much longer. Tyler and Willow are just friends, but I feel that they will be together sometime before the year ended. Drew is in a relationship too, with a woman named Myra Caldera. Those two have been seeing one another since February 2023. Oh! Cole and Rosanna are to be married in 2024. I believe their wedding will be in September. Right after Evelina turns three-years-old.
So, Troy and I were going with adoption. If that didn't give us results after a year, we would try surrogacy. Troy and I have also begun to look for a home. Our first step was going to the bank with a bunch of documents to apply for a loan. Thankfully, we had those results that same day; we were approved for $265,000.00. Troy and I were putting in $50,000.00 from our combined savings. That brought our total to $315,000.00. Not a bad number to go house searching with. To save ourselves some work; we had a real estate agent handling the overall search process. So far, Troy and I have only seen one house, and it wasn't for us. The adoption process was a bit more complicated. There were a lot of steps involved, but Troy and I didn't mind going through them. We knew it could take a while depending on specific situations, Troy and I confident that we shouldn't run into any problems. Our first step was deciding what kind of adoption we wanted and then contacting the proper people to begin such a process. Troy and I decided to go with adopting a child from foster care; there were a lot of kids out there who could use loving families, so that seemed best for us.
Not much has happened past filling out the application to adopt; we were told that it could take some weeks before our papers were looked at, then we would get a call from the person who would be our caseworker. Right now, we're still waiting for our application to be viewed, then accepted or denied. These documents stayed on file for ninety days, so if we didn't hear something by then; we were free to reapply or choose another course of action. Troy and I didn't mind waiting; it gave us more time to find a house. Today, Troy and I were joining the others in The Cove to hang out. Yes, this was an every week thing. None of us minded either. I had to admit, though; it was strange to be here.
"Uh, is he okay?" I heard Shane ask. Were they talking about me?
"Yo, Hayden! You good, man?" Theodore called. Yep, they were talking about me. I didn't come to The Cove a lot, not since 2018 when I tried to kill myself, or that day when I thought Troy was going to leave me, and I felt abandoned and unwanted again. The sad part was; we weren't even at The Cove yet, still walking towards the entrance. Since arriving, I got a flashback at the gates from the day I ran into my friends and was really upset. As we continued walking, I tried not to let it bother me. However, now we're nearing the opening to our destination, and I was a little hesitant. That whole day in 2018 was awful, and I didn't understand why it was bothering me now. I would deal with it. I was fine, and everything is okay.
. . .
Finally reaching The Cove, everyone got in and began to set up for the day. As I hit the entrance part, I was apprehensive and saw flashes from the day I ran in here crying. I shook it off and continued forward, then froze reaching the place where I'd been when Troy found me about to shoot myself. I didn't understand. Why was this happening?
{Normal POV}
"Hayden?" Avery asked. Hayden didn't reply, he was standing utterly still and had his eyes closed. Hayden was breathing a bit hard and shaking.
"Troy, I think Hayden is one of those flashback thingies," Shane called to Troy, who looked to see Hayden's figure and where he was standing.
'Is that…Where I found him almost five years ago?' Troy thought. Hayden shook his head side to side, holding it tightly and hitting his knees.
"What triggered him?" Gabriel inquired.
"Location," Troy said. "This is how I where I found him in October 2018, the day he was going to kill himself. The only difference is that he doesn't have a gun to the side of his head this time," Troy informed them.
"Aren't you supposed to be snapping him out it?" Spencer muttered.
"I'd like to remind you that I'm not the one who made him feel that low in the first place. It was because of you, your wife, Avery, Shane, Rylee, Tyler, Drew, Fisher, and Hailey," Troy rolled his eyes. "And no; Hayden has to learn to fight these on his own. At least according to the therapist. Hayden has to battle it and remind himself that what he's seeing is not how things are now. Hayden has to put the past behind him to live in his present and move towards the future. It's my job to offer comfort after it passes and be here for him, but I can't fight Hayden's battles for him," Troy's eyes never left Hayden's figure.
"How long does it take?" Vivian wondered.
"As long as it does," Troy shrugged. "Sometimes seconds, other times it could be closer to ten or fifteen. I've never seen it go longer than that. Even after this stops; Hayden needs times to calm down and realize where he is,"
"What if it goes over that?" Rylee questioned.
"Then I leave it alone for however long it takes. I only intervene if he begins showing signs of hurting himself or someone else," Troy enlightened. Nobody could do anything except watch or do little things to keep setting up. Hayden was still on his knees, head down, shaking, and holding himself in an embrace.
"Tell your heart to beat again. Close your eyes and breathe it in. Let the shadows fall away, step into the light of grace. Yesterday's a closing door; you don't live there anymore. Say goodbye to where you've been, and tell your heart to beat again…" Hayden shakily sang softly.
Troy's eyes widened a bit. "Okay, that's new…" he admitted.
"What is?" Rosanna blinked.
"Hayden singing when he's in a flashback, and I've never heard those lyrics before," Troy informed.
"Every time that you wake up breathing. Every night when you close your eyes. Every day that your heart keeps beating. There's purpose for your life. So don't give up. Don't lay down. Just hold on. Don't quit now. Every breath that you take has meaning; you are here for a reason," Troy knew those lyrics. It was the song that Hayden wrong, inspired by Troy's words on the day they met in The Cove four, almost five years ago now. Troy had never heard Hayden sing while in a flashback, but at the same time; it meant Hayden was fighting back and not letting control him. Hayden took a few breaths, then he released his arms and stopped shaking. Troy approached Hayden now, setting his hand on Hayden's gently. Hayden lifted his head up and opened his eyes to see Troy before him, smiling a bit. Troy helped Hayden to his feet slowly, then Hayden hugged him tightly. Troy returned it.
"I'm so proud of you," Troy whispered.
"I-I heard your voice come through; it was like a light in the dark for me to follow back," Hayden admitted.
"Babe, I don't care how you did it, but you did!" Troy explained. Hayden laid his head on Troy's shoulder, smiling a bit.
"I'm pretty sure you're the one who keeps me grounded here," Hayden replied.
"Nope; I'm not taking credit for this victory. You did it all by yourself, and I'm very proud of you," Troy looked into his eyes, then leaned in and kissed Hayden's lips. Hayden blushed a little.
"Anyone else feel like Troy is rewarding him as if Hayden were a child?" Tyler said as Avery socked Tyler in the arm hard.
"OW! I am hurt! I am very much hurt!" Tyler yelped, holding his arm as Shane, Fisher, and Drew just sighed and shook their heads. Hailey and Rylee glared at him.
"You deserved that one, bro," Rylee mentioned. Troy broke the kiss with a smile.
"So, when did you write a new song?" Troy asked.
Hayden blinked a little. "I'm sorry?"
"When you were in the flashback, you started singing lyrics we hadn't heard before," Drew informed.
"I did?" Hayden tilted his head.
"Yeah, they went something like. Uh…Tell your heart to beat again. Close your eyes and breathe it in…I don't remember the rest," Cole stated Hayden blinked again, then he laughed a little.
"Oh! You heard the lyrics to something I'm still working on. It's not…finished yet," Hayden enlightened.
"When it's done…I want to hear it," Troy told him.
"Well, I was gonna work on it a bit here. I started it after beginning therapy because the therapist said music seems to be an outlet for me; she told me to try and write something that I inspired myself to make. She's heard the one I made based off what Troy inspired me to do," Hayden shrugged.
"How much more do you have to go?" Willow questioned with a smile.
"Um…" Hayden pulled his notebook out and flipped through the pages until he found where he began the song. "I dunno; a couple more verses. What you heard was the chorus," he informed.
"Sounds amazing, Hayden. Can't wait to hear the rest," Troy said. "Let's get this hang out started," after that, everyone began getting things set up on the picnic tables and relaxing with conversation. Hayden sat with everyone, but his focus was on his notebook, and occasionally playing with sounds on his phone. Everyone let him be; they wanted to see if he'd finish the song so they could hear it.
. . .
(3:05 pm)
[The Cove]
Hours had passed and except Hayden's lunch break; he never strayed from working. However, when his phone rang; he paused to answer it.
"Talk to me," Hayden said.
"Is that how you always answer the phone. What if I'd been a family member?"
"It's how I respond when I know my job is calling me since I'm with my parents, in-laws, husband, and friends right now. I'm with everyone else who would call me. So again, what's up, Shawn?" Hayden remarked.
"Oh. Well…I was wondering if you could work a double tomorrow?"
"Define double?" Hayden asked.
"As in open to close?"
Hayden rubbed his eyes. "Should I even inquire as to why?"
"Well…Andy has a funeral. Mike has to fly to Murderous for a wedding. And…my wife is being induced…"
"And you can't call in another manager from one of the other like twenty forty branches around the Archipelago?" Hayden mumbled.
"I'd rather not call in someone who doesn't know my staff. Come on, please?"
"Fine, but you owe me, Shawn," Hayden mentioned.
"I promise to give you Monday and Tuesday off!" Shawn offered. "A-And how about a promotion. I'll promote you to Assistant Supervisor," Hayden's eyes widened a bit.
"Wait, you're serious?" Hayden questioned. "No, I can't jump over Mike and Andy; they been there way longer,"
"As a heart attack, Hayden. You've more than put in your time here and qualified to take the job. Mike and Andy don't want to move up; I've offered it to them before. You have been working here since you were fifteen, and one of the best employees I've ever had. Sarcastic as hell, but you earned this position. You know how to do the drawers, count the safe, refunds, voids, overrides, inventory, and food order. A damn if you aren't organized as shit. I've never had to teach you these things; you learned by watching. Take the position, please? I'll put it in right now, and get you a shirt and tag for tomorrow. Just give me the manager numbers you want to use,"
"Okay. Alright; I'll accept. And I'll text the numbers to you,"Hayden responded, still shocked.
"Great! Stop by tonight, and I'll give you the building key and alarm code,"
"Will do, Shawn. See ya in a few hours, at the park right now," Hayden told him.
"See ya soon, kid. Thanks again!" the call ended after that. Hayden blinked, still in surprise.
"Congratulations, babe!" Troy exclaimed. "Should I start calling you Mr. Bigshot now?"
Hayden shot his husband an unamused look. "Screw you,"
"Love, this is a public place, and we're with company right now. However, I might take you up on that offer later. Celebratory sex for your promotion, Mr. Bigshot Assistant Supervisor," Troy winked.
"Fuck you…" Hayden mumbled.
"We're in public, but if you insist…When and where, baby?" Troy replied with a grin.
"Troy!" Hayden yelled, blushing, and trying to be mad at his husband, but it wasn't working. Troy chuckled as he kissed Hayden passionately, then his anger faded away.
"Relax a little, Love. I'm just playing with you," Troy reminded as Hayden muttered something under his breath about hating that he couldn't stay mad at Troy. "So, that fucking me thing? Should we meet in the bedroom at 9 pm?"
Hayden's face lit up. "TROY RASERI!" at that moment, everyone started laughing. Troy just held Hayden close, nuzzling his neck. Once more, Hayden couldn't be mad at him. Hayden smiled, laughed a bit, and relaxed into Troy's arms. "You're lucky I love you,"
"Indeed I am. I love you too," Troy replied. Hayden tilted his head up a little, then they kissed again. This day could not possibly get any better.