A/N: See Chapter 1 for Disclaimer.
Chapter 5: Repentance
At around five-thirty the next evening, Louise came into Charlie's Bar. The place was empty at the moment, with the exception of Mr. Bentley sitting at the bar, and Charlie, of course, who was standing behind the bar talking with him. They both looked very concerned when they saw Louise walk inside. They, along with everybody else on the twelfth floor, were acutely aware of the huge explosion that had taken place inside the Jeffersons' apartment the night before. Mr. Bentley had heard every word Louise had said – or rather, yelled – at George and Florence yesterday evening, and it didn't take long for Charlie to hear about it, either, not to mention their ever-gossiping doorman, Ralph. Practically everyone in the apartment building was talking about it, and Charlie and Mr. Bentley were really worried about her.
"Hello, Mrs. Jefferson," Charlie said quietly as Louise sat down on the barstool next to Bentley.
"Oh, Mrs. J., it's so good to see you. I've been very worried about you after what happened last night," said Mr. Bentley.
"And so have I," Charlie admitted.
"You mean you two know about that?"
"The whole building knows about it," Charlie informed her.
"Oh, no," Louise sighed.
"Yes, I think everyone on our floor heard everything you said to Mr. J. and Florence last night, Mrs. J.," Mr. Bentley told her.
"Well, the way everything just keeps piling up on me here lately, I'm not surprised."
"Mrs. Jefferson, would I be overstepping my bounds if I asked you what's wrong?" Charlie asked kindly, which really brought a smile to Louise's face, and a couple of tears to her eyes. After having to put up with jerks like George, Florence, and that terrible gynecologist who more than overstepped his bounds, Charlie's kindness and consideration touched her heart very deeply. It was like a glass of cold water after being parched in the hottest, driest desert for days.
Louise then quickly brushed the tears from her eyes and responded, "No, Charlie. You're not overstepping your bounds at all. After everything I've been going through here lately, it is unbelievably nice just to run into somebody who acts like he's concerned about me. Thank you."
"We're always concerned about you, Mrs. Jefferson," Charlie assured her. "You're one of the sweetest ladies I ever met, and I know Mr. Bentley feels the same way."
"I most certainly do," Mr. Bentley heartily agreed. "Is there anything Charlie and I can do to help you now, Mrs. J.? Anything at all?"
After a long sigh, Louise told them, "I'm in an impossible situation. My entire life has become a complete and utter trainwreck over the course of just a few weeks. Everything has completely fallen apart. Everything. I've been through hard times with George before. I went through poverty during my childhood and during the first two decades of my marriage to George. I lost my sister when she ran away from home in my teens. I lost my mother when I was thirty. I've put up with over two decades of verbal and emotional abuse from George. I've endured decades of sexism and racism. I've been through a lot, and I'm usually pretty tough and strong when hard times hit. I'm no stranger to adversity. But what I'm facing now…in over forty-six years of living, I have NEVER had to face anything like this before. And you know what the hardest part of all of this is?"
"What, Mrs. J.?" Mr. Bentley asked in a very soft, concerned voice. It was plain to see on both his and Charlie's faces that Louise was really scaring them.
"The hardest part is, I can't talk to anybody about it. This is such a complicated, difficult situation, and there's no way I can open up to George about this, or Lionel. I can't even open up to Tom and Helen and pour my heart out like I need to, and they're my very best friends."
"Well Mr. Bentley and I are here. I mean, I know we're not as close to you as the Willises are, but we'll do everything we can to help," Charlie told her kindly.
"Why, yes, Mrs. J. You can pour your heart out to us," Mr. Bentley assured her.
"You two wouldn't mind?"
"Of course not, Mrs. Jefferson," said Charlie. "Shoot, I'm a bartender. Being a good listener and a good therapist is part of my job. People pour their hearts out to me all the time."
"And speaking as a bachelor, I have a lot of experience listening to…well, listening to unhappily married women pour their hearts out to me. Believe me, Mrs. J., I'm quite used to it."
"Okay, gentlemen. Here goes," said Louise, and she then told both of them everything that she'd been going through over the past few weeks. She told them about the cancer diagnosis and her pregnancy; she told them about her dream of her unborn twin daughters, and everything Dr. Jackson and Dr. Horn had put her through in trying to shame her into an abortion.
"So I was already a complete wreck inside when I came home from seeing Dr. Horn yesterday evening, and when both George and Florence started giving me a hard time on top of all that, it was basically like throwing a lit match into a warehouse full of fireworks," Louise explained several minutes later.
"Well that's entirely understandable, Mrs. Jefferson," said Charlie.
"Why, yes, it's no wonder you were so furious last night, Mrs. J. You had every right to explode. I can't even begin to imagine what you must be going through right now."
"Neither can I. I would've completely lost my mind weeks ago," Charlie admitted.
"I would have, too," Mr. Bentley agreed.
"I was serious yesterday when I said that I was leaving George, but it's not for the reason you might think. Yes, I am furious at him for all the years he's made me feel like a second-class citizen in my own home just so he can feel macho, but that's not really why I'm leaving. I made the decision to leave the day before our big fight. I know how badly it hurt George watching his mother deteriorate before his eyes the way she did this past year, and it would be pretty cold and heartless of me to put him through that a second time with my illness. I've been living with George every day for the past twenty-five years, and nobody knows him like I do. I know what my husband's limits are, and I know there's no way he can take all this, especially on the heels of losing his mother. Having to watch me die in front of him like Mother Jefferson did, not to mention the babies…there's just no way. I'm going to talk to Lionel and Jenny soon and explain everything to them. Hopefully, they'll agree to take the babies when they're born. And hopefully, I'll be able to convince them not to say anything to anyone. I don't want anybody knowing about this, not even the Willises."
"Why not, Mrs. J.?" Mr. Bentley asked.
"Because I know Tom and Helen. They'd never be able to keep this from George for very long. And I don't want George to find out until…until it's all over and I'm gone. It'll be much easier on him that way. He won't have to watch me deteriorate and die before his eyes like he had to with Mother Jefferson."
"Wow, I…I don't even know what to say, Mrs. Jefferson," Charlie gasped. "I've had a lot of experience being the drinking man's psychologist, and I usually know what to say to help my customers when they open up to me like this, but now, I…"
Louise gave Charlie a sad smile and told him, "There's nothing you can say in a time like this, Charlie. There's nothing anybody can say. I know that. I don't expect you or Mr. Bentley to have any magic answers for me. It just helps to have somebody listen. It shows you care."
"We do care, Mrs. J. We care so much," Mr. Bentley said in the softest voice.
"We sure do," Charlie agreed.
"I know you. And I appreciate it. I really do."
"If you don't mind my asking, Mrs. Jefferson, what are you going to do next?" Charlie inquired.
"I had a bad spell when I first woke up in my hotel room this morning. I started feeling dizzy and lightheaded, and I coughed up a lot of blood, so I went in to see our family doctor today. He says that he thinks I need to be in the hospital through the rest of my pregnancy so the babies and I can be closely monitored. And I know what that means. When I go into the hospital, I'm probably not coming out. So, I'm allowing myself one last day of freedom. I'm going out tomorrow and enjoying myself. I'm going to go the art museum for a while and enjoy some good art, which is something I've wanted to do for a while now, and I'm going to go out to eat breakfast and lunch at the best restaurants in town, and depending on how much time I have left after all the eating and the art museum, I may go get a manicure and get my hair done and go see a good movie. I'm just going to enjoy myself as much as I can while I still have the opportunity. And when I go to check myself into the hospital day after tomorrow, I'm not just going to any old hospital, either. You two know all about the Allied Health Services Center, don't you?"
"Oh, yes. That big luxury hospital they just built last year," said Mr. Bentley.
"That's right," Louise confirmed.
"Say, only the richest of the rich can afford a place like that. That's a special hospital for millionaires and dignitaries; even royals from other countries go there sometiimes. Their hospital suites don't even look like regular hospital rooms. I've heard that their suites are so incredibly beautiful, it's like living in a palace. You've got to be insanely wealthy to be able to afford that hospital," Charlie pointed out.
"You're quite right, Charlie. And ordinarily, George and I would never be able to afford a place like that, despite how wealthy George's business success has made us. But financially speaking, I've had some real serendipity lately. And thanks be to God for this unexpected financial miracle, I can afford it now. Normally, I'd never be so extravagant, but I know that the Allied hospital has the highest quality healthcare in the entire state of New York. As a matter of fact, it's one of the best hospitals on the planet, quite literally. And I know that if I go to a hospital like that, my babies will have the best possible chance of coming through the pregnancy without any problems or complications. So I asked my doctor to make the arrangements for me to stay there, and he agreed. They're expecting me there day after tomorrow at nine o'clock in the morning. So, I'm going to try to enjoy my last hours of freedom as much as I can until then."
"Mrs. Jefferson, are you absolutely certain that you don't want to tell your husband?" asked Charlie. "I understand where you're coming from; I really do. I know that you don't want to hurt Mr. Jefferson. But are you completely sure that you want to try to do this on your own? I really don't think that's wise."
"I have to agree with Charlie, Mrs. J. I really don't think you should try to get through this without him by your side. I don't think that's a good idea."
"Believe me, guys, I've gone through this whole thing in my mind over and over and over again. This is one of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make, but in my heart of hearts, I really do believe I'm doing the right thing. So please don't say anything about this to anyone, especially George."
"The number one rule of my bar has always been, 'What happens in the bar, stays in the bar.' Mr. Bentley and I haven't heard a word you've said all evening. Right Mr. Bentley?"
Mr. Bentley reluctantly nodded and said, "Right."
A few moments later, Louise sighed, and then she said, "You know, gentlemen, I'd really like to enjoy a drink with you tonight."
"Are you sure you should?" asked Charlie.
"I'll only have one," Louise assured him. "I know I'm not supposed to drink now, but I really don't think one drink will be enough to do any harm."
"Yeah, you're right, Mrs. Jefferson. Just one drink shouldn't hurt. And after everything you've been going through lately, you've more than earned it," Charlie told her. "What can I get you?"
"I'd like to have something in honor of Mother Jefferson. Charlie, get me a Bloody Mary, please. And keep it very, very light on the vodka."
"Yes, ma'am," Charlie said with a kind smile. "And what can I get for you, Mr. Bentley?"
"A Scotch, please," Mr. Bentley answered.
A few moments later, Charlie served them their drinks, and he poured himself a glass of Scotch as well. Louise then held up her Bloody Mary and said, "Gentlemen, I would like to propose a toast. To Mother Jefferson, to my darling babies, and to precious hours of freedom."
"To the dearest, bravest lady on the planet," Mr. Bentley said softly, and Louise smiled.
"Thank you, Mr. Bentley," she whispered. And in the next moment, she clinked her glass with his, and then with Charlie's, and right after that, the trio took a drink from their glasses. All of them stubbornly fighting off tears.
At eleven o'clock the next morning, a Saturday, Tom and Helen were down at the Jeffersons' apartment. Naturally, they were there to talk with George about Louise, as was Florence.
While Tom, Helen, and Florence were all standing together in the living room with George, Tom said, "As you know, George, Helen and I had to go out of town yesterday, and we just got back last night and had a long talk with Ralph. Is it actually true? Is Louise actually leaving you?"
Before George could respond, the doorbell rang, and he answered the door. It was Mr. Bentley.
"What do you want, Bentley?" George asked abruptly.
"I need to talk to you, Mr. J. It's important."
"Is it about Louise?" asked Helen.
"Yes, it is."
"Come on in, Bentley," George told him, and he then walked into the living room and sat down with George and everyone else.
"Now George, what on earth is going on with Louise?" asked Helen. "She's been so distant and withdrawn over the past three weeks or so. She barely talks to us anymore. And what I heard about Louise's fight with you and Florence is completely out of character for her."
"Yes. Helen and I are very worried about Louise," said Tom.
"How about worryin' about me?! I'm the one that just lost his mama and had his wife walk out on him for no reason at all!"
"And I'm the one who had to listen to her unfair employer cruelly rip into her after a hard day's work, also for no reason at all," Florence complained.
"Oh, there was a reason. There was definitely a reason," Mr. Bentley told them.
"What reason could Weezy possibly have for rippin' into me and Florence like that? What reason could there be for her just walkin' out on me and firin' Florence out of the blue?" asked George.
"Mr. J., Florence, permit me to tell you both a story. I think it'll put it all in perspective and help you understand what's really going on with Mrs. J."
"Child, if your story can help us understand why Ms. Jefferson has suddenly changed into such a mean, unreasonable woman overnight, then by all means, tell it to us," said Florence.
"Once upon a time, there was a very sweet lady who suddenly became very ill. One morning, she unexpectedly had to go to the emergency room, where she was diagnosed with a life-threatening illness. That day that she went to the E.R., she also learned that she was pregnant. She knows she cannot start to treat her illness – cancer – until after her baby is born, and she also knows that if she chooses to delay treatment until her baby comes, she's basically signing her own death warrant. The doctors have told her that she'll have virtually no chance of beating her cancer if she chooses to have her baby. She is stuck between the ultimate rock and hard place. She certainly doesn't want to die; she doesn't want to leave her family without a wife and mother, but she knows that if she chooses to end her baby's life to save her own, she will always see herself as a murderer and will never be able to live with herself. She's more terrified than she's ever been in her whole life, and she cries out to God, begging Him to give her some direction, and He does. One evening, after crying out to the Lord in prayer, she has a dream. And in that dream, it's revealed to her that she's carrying twin daughters. She meets them, and they explain to her exactly what would happen to them if she chose to get an abortion. They describe to her in graphic detail precisely the kind of cruel, torturous death they would suffer if she had them aborted. So she makes up her mind that, come hell or high water, she is going to do all she can to protect her unborn babies and get them through the pregnancy safely, regardless of what happens to her. Mr. Jefferson, Florence, can either one of you even begin to imagine facing something like that?" Unable to say anything, they just sat there in total silence as the gears began turning in both of their heads.
"Now imagine," Mr. Bentley continued, "after going through all of that, you go to see a gynecologist who, like another doctor you've already seen, tries to bully and shame you into getting an abortion for the second time around. Imagine that you've been carrying this agonizing, crushing burden all by yourself for weeks, unable to tell your husband because he's just lost his mother, and you don't want to add to his burdens. This dear, wonderful lady is convinced that watching her struggle with cancer and a pregnancy, after watching his mother's health deteriorate over the past year, would be far too much for her husband, so she lovingly decides to keep it from him and leave him before she goes into the hospital. Knowing that she will probably never come out of the hospital in this life. Now imagine, after making such a hard choice, after choosing to leave your husband of over twenty-five years out of a loving desire to protect him, you come home from that gynecologist's office where you've just been bullied, and your husband and your maid start griping and complaining and biting your head off, for no good reason at all," Mr. Bentley said pointedly, throwing their own phrase back up in their faces on purpose. In those moments, silent tears were streaming down both George's and Florence's faces as they were filled with utter horror at themselves.
After several long, silent moments, Mr. Bentley said, "Mr. Jefferson, Florence, I challenge both of you right here and now to look deeply within yourselves and ask yourselves the question, 'How would I react in a situation like that?' And I challenge you to answer that question honestly. Mr. J., Florence, I absolutely hate being harsh with anyone. You know that. But in a situation like this, I've got to be painfully honest with both of you, no matter how much it hurts. Along with everybody else on the twelfth floor, I overheard your argument with Mrs. J. the other night. I heard every word you two said – or rather, yelled – at her. And I heard every word she yelled back at you. Now perhaps she shouldn't have said the things she said to you quite as loudly as she did, but let's just take a moment to be brutally honest with ourselves, shall we? She was absolutely right about every word she said, and you both know it. You two are not a couple of innocent little angels. You two deserved everything she said. You completely had it coming. Florence, ninety-nine percent of all maids on this earth would have been fired a long time ago if they were as lazy about their work and as disrespectful to their employers as you are to Mrs. J., and you darned well know it. And Mr. J., if you had to put up with somebody like you all the time, you wouldn't tolerate it for twenty-five minutes, much less twenty-five years as Mrs. J. has done, and you darned well know it. Both of you have claimed to believe in Jesus Christ, but there's very little of Christ in the way you live your lives. I don't say that to be harsh and mean, but sometimes, you have to be a little cruel in order to be kind, and telling you the truth about yourselves really is the kindest thing I can do for you now. I may not be a believer, but I know enough about the Bible to know that when Jesus saw someone living a life of pride and arrogance, He didn't coddle them or feel sorry for them; He called them to repent. And if Jesus were sitting here with us in the flesh right now, what do you think He would say to you? Do you think He would feel sorry for you and agree with you that Mrs. J. was too harsh, or would He call you to repentance? What do you think He would do?"
Now sensing that he needed to leave George and Florence alone with their thoughts, Mr. Bentley got up and left the apartment. And after he walked out the door, George, Florence, Tom, and Helen just sat there together in utter silence, all of them feeling as though they'd been kicked in the stomach.
After enjoying a day of some well-deserved pampering, Louise returned to Charlie's Bar at ten minutes past five that evening and ordered a light supper for herself. And about ten minutes later, Tom, Helen, Lionel, and Jenny came in as well. And the second they saw Louise, they immediately went over to her table and showered her with hugs and kisses and affection before sitting down with her.
"What's all this?" Louise asked with a laugh.
"Mom, we know. We all know about the cancer diagnosis, the pregnancy, the dream about the twins, the bullying doctors, everything," Lionel told her.
"How did you guys find out?" asked Louise as George came walking into the bar in that moment. None of them saw him as he stood in the background.
"It doesn't matter how we found out, Louise," said Helen.
"Yes, the only that matters is that we know now, and we want to do everything we can to help you," said Tom.
"I appreciate that," Louise told them kindly.
"Mrs. Jefferson, is there anything we can do to help you now?" asked Jenny. "And I mean anything. Anything at all."
Louise sighed then and asked, "You guys know what my biggest worry is now?"
"What, Louise?" asked Helen as she lovingly put her hand on top of Louise's hand.
"Over these past few weeks, ever since I found out I was pregnant, I've really been worried about going through another miscarriage. I never talk about it, but after George and I had you, Lionel, I lost three babies, and it really tore me up. But after that dream, I've come to realize that God would never have given me that dream, He never would have let me see my little girls, if He didn't intend on getting them through the pregnancy safely. Plus, I'm in my second trimester now, so I'm quite sure that that worry is behind me. What worries me the most now is not knowing who's going to take care of the babies after they're born. After I'm gone."
"Oh, Mrs. Jefferson, please don't say that," Jenny implored her.
"You're going to be alright, Louise. Nothing is going to happen to you," Helen insisted.
"Come on, you guys. Let's not sugarcoat things, alright? We all need to be realistic. While those terrible doctors were wrong to try to shame me into having an abortion, they were right when they told me that I probably won't still be here a year from now. I probably won't last too much longer after the babies are born. That's just a cold, hard fact. And speaking of cold, hard facts, it is also a cold, hard fact that George can never be trusted to raise a daughter, so I need to find someone who can take care of the twins for me after I'm gone."
"What makes you think that Pop can't raise a daughter, Mom?" asked Lionel.
"Come on, Lionel. Isn't it obvious? We all know what a sexist your father is," said Jenny. "It's not exactly a secret how much he looks down on women and girls."
"That's exactly right, Jenny," said Louise. "George has always been a wonderful father to you, Lionel, and even though he's been far from perfect over the years, he has set you a pretty good example. But all through our marriage, George has always acted as though I'm a second-class citizen. As though my needs and desires aren't as important as his are. As though my contribution to our family isn't as important as his is. As though I'm a subhuman object he has the right to control, and not a human being with equal worth and value. As though I simply do not matter as much as he does. Just because I'm female. George has told me many times over the years how much it hurt him growing up being made to feel like he was less of a person because he was black, yet almost every day of our marriage, he's made me feel like I'm less of a person because I'm a woman. George Jefferson is the ultimate hypocrite. He sees how heinous and cruel and evil racism is, but he has no problem with sexism at all. He just doesn't get it – perhaps he willfully refuses to get it – that sexism is every bit as wrong as racism is. I love George, but I won't turn a blind eye to his faults. With me carrying two baby girls, I can't afford to do that anymore. Even though George can be a very caring man underneath all his guff, he is also very mean-spirited in his views of women. And no matter how much I love George, I will not allow a man as chauvinistic and selfish and cruel as he is to raise my daughters. I will not allow my daughters to grow up feeling as though they're less of a person because they're female, like George has made me feel all these years. I can trust George to be a good provider and pay all the bills; I can even trust him to set a good example for my son. But I can never trust George Jefferson with my daughters. That may be harsh, but it's the God's honest truth."
"I hate to say it, Louise, but you're right. You're absolutely right," Tom concurred.
"Don't worry, Mrs. Jefferson. Lionel and I will take care of the twins when they're born, won't we, Lionel?" asked Jenny.
"Of course we will," Lionel assured Louise.
"And if something unexpected comes up and Lionel and Jenny can't do it, then we'll look after the babies when they come. Right, Tom?" asked Helen.
"Absolutely," Tom heartily agreed.
"Mom, this is the last thing you need to worry about right now. We'll all take care of the babies when they get here. You don't need to worry about that for one second."
"The only thing you need to think about right now is getting better. You just focus on getting well again and let us take care of the babies and everything else," Helen said warmly while squeezing Louise's hand, and in those moments, she couldn't help but start crying.
"Thank you," Louise gasped through her tears as they all started hugging her and loving on her. "Thank you all for saying that. Thank you so much. I've been so worried about the babies. I've been so scared. This has all been such a heavy load to carry. It's just been crushing me inside."
"I know it has been," said Helen. "Oh Louise, I can't even begin to imagine what you've been going through these past few weeks."
"No wonder you've been feeling crushed by it all. I'd like to crush Pop, let him see how he likes it!" Lionel angrily cried out.
"I am crushed," George gasped, and in the next moment, they all turned their heads and saw George standing there with tears streaming down his cheeks. Louise's eyes locked with his in that moment, and she could see it in his eyes that he also knew about the cancer, the pregnancy, the prophetic dream of the twins, and everything else she'd been going through. "And I'm sorry," he said quietly as he continued to look into Louise's eyes. "I am so, so sorry that I've been such a cruel, sexist, worthless fool all these years. I ain't got no excuse for the way I've been makin' you feel all this time, Weezy. You are the most extraordinary lady I've ever known, and you deserve the best of myself, the very best, and instead, I've only given you the worst. You deserve so much better, and I know it."
"Our daughters deserve better, George," Louise told him firmly, refusing to coddle him or feel sorry for him now, as she might have done in the past.
"All three of you deserve better," George admitted.
"Can't any of us argue with that," said Helen.
"Mom, Pop, do you want us to leave so you two can have some privacy?" asked Lionel.
Louise shook her head and said, "No, that's alright, Lionel. I'll go upstairs with George so we can talk at home in private."
"Thank you, Weez," George whispered.
Louise then got up from her seat and came up to George, and after giving her a very emotional kiss, he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and she put her arm around his waist, and they walked out of the bar together, anxious to get off to themselves.
By the time they walked into their apartment, they were both practically sobbing together. The instant they closed the door behind them, they just grabbed each other and clung to each other and cried together for the longest time.
Finally, after helping her off with her coat, George said, "Come on over here, Weezy. You should be sitting down."
"Yeah, I am pretty tired," Louise told him as he took her hand and led her over to the couch.
"Come on, sweetheart. Sit down," George said softly as they sat down on the couch together. And after several long, quiet moments, George looked into Louise's eyes and told her, "I know that sayin' the words, 'I'm sorry,' ain't enough to make up for how bad I've been hurtin' you all these years, Weezy. But I want you to know that until now, I had no idea that I've been hurtin' you so bad all this time. You know how I am, Weezy. Like you said, I'm always runnin' my mouth. I'm always sayin' a bunch of stupid crap that I don't really mean. I don't even take myself seriously half the time, so I never imagined that you actually took it seriously when I would yell all that junk about me bein' the man of the house and callin' you, 'Woman,' and all that."
"I do know better than to take you seriously most of the time. But even so, it still hurt me so badly whenever you would yell those things at me and try to control me and treat me like I was a lesser person, a lesser partner in our marriage, because of my gender. Even though you always knew better than to take Archie Bunker seriously, didn't it still hurt you and make you angry when he would say racist things to you and imply that you were less of a person because you're black?"
Once again, Louise's brutally honest words punched George right between the eyes, and she could easily see it in that moment. With fresh tears in his eyes, George said in a low, emotional voice, "I didn't even think of that, Weezy. I didn't think of that at all. But I know you're right. But I had no idea that I was makin' you feel like you were less than human all these years, Weezy. I really had no idea that I was makin' you feel that way. I had no idea I was hurtin' you that much. I would never, ever hurt you like that on purpose. You've gotta believe me."
"I do believe you, George."
"I'm sorry, Weezy. I am so, so sorry for everything I've put you through in our marriage. And I want you to know that I ain't never gonna act that way again. Ever. That mean-spirited, sexist, worthless narcissist that hurt you so bad all this time…he's gone, Weezy. He is gone. For good. I swear it. And he ain't never comin' back. I ain't never gonna act all stupid and run my mouth and hurt you like that again. I won't ever call you, 'Woman,' again. I won't ever yell at you again about me bein' the man of the house and what I say goes and all that crap. And I will never, ever say anything to hurt our daughters. Ever. I promise you."
"I'm so glad you just said that," said Louise as more tears came to her eyes. George then pulled her into his arms, gave her the most passionate kiss, and just held her for so long.
Finally, with his arm still around Louise's shoulders, George looked at her and asked, "What kind of cancer is it?"
"It's a malignant tumor in my left lung. When I was in the shower on the morning of Christmas Eve, I coughed up blood all of the sudden, so I immediately went to the emergency room. They did some chest X-rays, and that's when I first found out about it. Then I had to go in for a biopsy a couple of days later to find out if the mass on the X-rays was cancerous or not. It was an outpatient procedure and I was only in the hospital for a few hours. And the doctor I saw tried to manipulate me into getting an abortion. I was so scared and confused and devastated that day. And later on that evening, after I came home from the hospital, I cried out to God to help me figure out what to do. And that's when I had the dream and I saw our little girls."
"Yeah, Bentley told me about the dream. He told me everything."
"The evening after our big fight, I went into Charlie's Bar, and I ended up spilling my guts to Charlie and Mr. Bentley. I swore both of them to secrecy, but now, I think I'm glad that Mr. Bentley broke his promise and told you. I guess I was wrong not to tell you before, but with everything you were going through with your mother, I just couldn't bring myself to do it."
"Weezy, sometimes, that precious heart of yours is just way too big. Even though I came to faith in Christ when I was a kid, I've never really lived the way God would want me to live, and I know it. I have allowed myself to get away with bein' selfish every moment of my life, and I know I need to change. But you, Weezy? You've always had the opposite problem. You are way, way too selfless. Don't get me wrong. It's good that you're always so loving and kind and generous and patient. It's those qualities in you that made me fall in love with you. But you take it way too far. You've got to start takin' better care of yourself, Weez. You've got to stop puttin' everybody else first and yourself last twenty-four-seven. You have got to start lettin' us be there for you. You have got to start lettin' us take care of you now. You have just got to," George said so gently.
Louise nodded and said, "I will, George. I will."
"And you gotta promise me that you'll never keep a secret like this from me again. Every time you feel sick, every time you cough or sneeze or stub a toe, I wanna know about it. Understand?"
Louise nodded again and told George, "Understood."
George then gave Louise a very long kiss, and afterwards, he said, "Okay, sweetheart. Tell me. What's the next step? What do we need to do now?"
Louise then explained about her unexpected inheritance from her Uncle Ward, and she told George, "I went in to see Dr. Carson yesterday, and he said that he thought it was best for me to be in the hospital for the rest of the pregnancy so that the babies and I can be closely monitored through it all. And you know about that new luxury hospital that was built last year, right? The Allied Health Services Center?"
"Yeah, I've heard of it."
"I know we never could have afforded a place like that before, but with Uncle Ward's inheritance, we can now. Dr. Carson says that it is literally one of the best hospitals on earth, so I asked him to make arrangements for me to go there. I need to be there at nine o'clock tomorrow morning to check myself in. That place has some of the best specialists from all over the world working there. I know it's outrageously expensive, but I do believe that if I go there, the babies will have the best possible chance."
"Weezy, it almost sounds like you're apologizing. Don't apologize, baby. I'm glad you told the doctor you wanted to go there. You did the right thing. Not just for the babies, but for you. You're just as important as the babies are. Yes, we've gotta do what's best for our little girls, but we've gotta do what's best for you, too. And I don't want you to worry about the money or how expensive it is. I don't want you to worry about that for a single moment. I'll deal with all that. You just let me worry about that. The only thing I want you to think about right now is gettin' better. Nothin' else."
"I want to get better too, George. But according to all the statistics, I really don't have a chance. Lung cancer is one of the hardest types of cancer to beat, especially when it's at my stage. You know, it's so ironic, and so unfair. My mother and my sister Maxine were the ones who always smoked while I never smoked a single cigarette in all my life, yet I'm the one who ends up with lung cancer. I understand that smoking is a very tough addiction to beat, but even so, it's so selfish of smokers to force other people who don't want to smoke to breathe in their secondhand smoke all the time. If they care more about their addiction than they do about their health and if they want to take the risk of giving themselves lung cancer and emphysema and asthma and a bunch of other problems, then that's their choice, but they do not have the right to force those things onto other people through their secondhand smoke."
"You're right, Weezy. You're right. It is wrong, and it is unfair. It's horribly unfair. It's so wrong that you have to be the one to suffer because of the bad choices your mama and your sister made. I just so wish that there was a way that I could take your tumor for you. I'd take this cancer for you in a heartbeat if I could, Weezy. I would. I really would."
"I know you would, George. But for whatever reason, I'm the one who ended up on this difficult path, and I'm the one who has to walk it. No one can walk it for me."
"Maybe I can't walk it for you, but I can walk it with you, Weez. And I will. I promise. I'll be right by your side every step of the way. No matter what happens. No matter how hard it might get."
After a long pause, Louise looked into her husband's eyes and asked, "What if this path doesn't end the way we want it to, George? What if I'm not able to beat my cancer after the girls are born and you have to watch me die, just like you had to watch your mother die? Do you really think you can handle that? Be painfully honest, George. Not just with me, but with yourself. Will you still be there with me, will you still be there by my side, if things get that painful and that hard? Don't tell me what you think I might want to hear. Tell me the truth. Don't make promises to me now that you might not be able to keep in the future."
"I'm not, baby. I'm not," George insisted. "Yes, it was agony watchin' Mama die before my eyes like that, and I'd certainly never wanna go through anything like that again, but if the worst happens, I will go through that again for you. No matter how painful it might get, I would never, ever abandon you and make you face somethin' like that alone, Weezy. I would never do anything like that to you. When I promised you that I would always be there, in sickness and in health, I meant it, Weezy. I meant it," he assured Louise. And in the next moment, he took her hand in his and lovingly kissed it and squeezed it.
"While we're on this difficult subject, there's something I need to ask you."
"What is it, baby?"
"If the worst does happen and I'm not able to beat this cancer after the babies come, I don't want to die in the hospital, George. I want to die here at home, with you by my side, in my own bed, just like Mother Jefferson did. Would you get a nurse to help you take care of me at home, like you did for your mother?"
"Of course I would, Weezy. Of course I would. I'll do anything you want. I'll do anything you need. Anything."
"Thank you, George. Thank you so much."
"No, Weezy, thank you. Thank YOU. Thank you for puttin' up with a mean-spirited, selfish, sexist creep like me for twenty-five years. Thank you for not bailin' out on me and leavin' me before now, even though I would've deserved it."
"You're welcome," Louise whispered, and then they kissed once again, and George pulled Louise into his arms and held her close.
"Can you do me a favor now, sweetheart?" George asked gently.
"I'll try my best," Louise answered.
"Can you please, please try to put all those thoughts of you dyin' out of your mind? That's not gonna happen, Weezy. I promise you. I know we've got a hard fight ahead of us, but we are gonna win this fight. You are NOT gonna die after the babies come. You are gonna get better, and you are gonna be there to watch our girls grow up. Do you hear me?"
Louise nodded and said, "I hear you, George." George then kissed Louise's forehead, and just sat there with her and held her for several long moments. And finally, she said through all her tears, "I'm so scared, George. I'm so scared, and I'm so tired."
"I know, baby. I know. I'm scared, too. But I'm here. I'm right here by your side, and that's where I'm gonna stay for every moment that you're goin' through this, Weez. Every moment. So you don't have to be scared. I'm not gonna let you do this alone. I'm gonna be right here with you through it all. And it's no wonder you're so tired. After the hell you've been goin' through these past few weeks, it's a miracle you ain't unconscious right now. Come on, baby. Let's get you to bed. Now."
George then gave Louise another long kiss, and after a long, fervent hug, they got up and walked to the bedroom together. And George held Louise close all through the night as she slept peacefully by his side.
At seven-thirty the next morning, Louise was awakened by some very loving, gentle kisses from George. He kissed her lips and he kissed her all over her face, and Louise just smiled for the longest time before she finally opened her tired eyes.
"Is it morning already?" she asked in a weak voice.
"Yeah, baby. It's seven-thirty," he whispered, and Louise responded with a groan. "I know, baby. I know," George said sympathetically.
"I'm still so tired."
"I know, sweetheart. I know. But it's a forty-minute drive to the hospital, and we've got less than an hour to eat breakfast and get showered and dressed. I let you sleep just as long as I could."
"Just let me sleep a little more while you eat breakfast, okay?"
"I know it's hard, baby, but you need to eat now so you'll have enough strength to make the trip to the hospital." Louise groaned again, and George said, "I know, baby. I know. I know you're exhausted. I know you just wanna sleep right now. But the babies need you to try to eat somethin'. I made you some toast and scrambled eggs. I'll bring it in here to you. Just try to eat a little bit of it, okay sweetheart? Just try."
Louise nodded, and then after planting a warm kiss on her forehead, George went out to the kitchen, got Louise's breakfast tray, and brought it in to her. With a lot of tender coaxing from George, Louise managed to stay awake and eat her breakfast.
"Thanks for breakfast, George," Louise told him when she was finished.
"Sure thing, sweetheart," said George.
Then in the next moment, Louise completely lost her breath, and she laid back down in bed and started blowing, which really worried George.
"Weezy, baby, what is it? What's the matter?" asked George as he took Louise's hand in his.
"Just let me blow, George," Louise gasped.
"Yeah, Weezy, blow. Blow. Blow," George said softly while stroking her forehead. "Just relax, baby. Just catch your breath."
When Louise's breath returned a few moments later, she explained to George, "Whenever I get all breathless like that, blowing helps."
"Does it happen very often, sweetheart?"
"It's been getting progressively worse over the past few months and weeks. I used to only get out of breath occasionally, but now, it happens several times a day."
"And what does that say about me, as a husband, that you've been havin' problems with your breathing for months and I didn't even know until now?"
"I don't think you want me to answer that question honestly, George."
"You don't have to answer it. I already know. It says that I've been a completely self-absorbed, pathetic narcissist and a piss-poor excuse for a husband. That's what it says."
"I'm sorry, George, but I really can't argue with you."
"No, you can't, because it's the truth and we both know it. I'm sorry, Weezy. I am so, so sorry. I know I've got so much to make up for."
"Well if it makes you feel any better, you're off to a great start," Louise kindly assured him, and then he leaned in and gave her another long kiss. And in the next moment, she sighed and said, "I know I need to get up and get in the shower now, but with the way I'm feeling this morning, I don't know how I'm going to work up enough strength to do it."
"Don't worry about it, baby. I'll support you in the shower. I'll help you."
Louise smirked and asked in a playfully snooty voice, "Good sir, are you suggesting that you and I take a shower together?"
"That's exactly what I'm suggesting," George responded with a mischievous grin.
Louise laughed and said, "We haven't done that since we were newlyweds."
"Well as far as you and I are concerned, today, we are officially newlyweds again. And I don't just want you lean on me in the shower, Weez. I want you to lean on me for support any time you start to feel like it's all too much and you need some extra strength. Will you do that for me, Weezy?"
Louise nodded and replied, "I will."
Then after leaning in and giving her one more long kiss, George helped Louise get out of bed and into the shower.
Soon after George and a nurse helped Louise get settled in her palatial hospital suite that morning, she drifted off to sleep, and George was glad to see it. He knew how much the past several weeks had taken out of her, how weak and exhausted she was, and he was very relieved to see her getting some rest. He woke her up when lunch was served at noon, and after she ate, she fell asleep once again. Then at around two o'clock that afternoon, Florence came by to see Louise after services at her church were over. Florence didn't want to wake her, though, and even though patience was not typically Florence's strong suit, she was now more than happy to patiently wait for Louise to wake up.
Louise opened her eyes about twenty minutes later, and the instant she looked over and saw Florence, Florence practically jumped up out of her seat, went over to her bedside, fiercely hugged her, and just sobbed.
"I'm sorry, Ms. Jefferson," she told Louise as she continued to cling to her and cry. "I'm so sorry I've been so awful."
"I'm sorry too, Florence. I was pretty awful the other night, myself." Louise was now lying in a queen-sized hospital bed with an I.V. in her arm and a nasal cannula under her nose which was giving her extra oxygen.
Florence shook her head and said, "You weren't awful, Ms. Jefferson. You were right. You were right about every word you said to me. I've had it comin' for a long time now, and I know it. I've been a terrible maid, and I've been a terrible person."
"You haven't been a terrible person, Florence. You've been an annoying person from time to time, yes, but you haven't been a terrible person."
"You're wrong, Ms. Jefferson. I have been terrible. I really have been. You were right when you said that I was prideful and arrogant. You were right when you said that I thought I was too good to be a maid and that I thought serving other people was beneath me. You were right when you said that I needed to humble myself and start acting more like Jesus and start giving Him more than mere lip-service in my life. You were right about everything you said. You were right about it all. I got so mad at you for a while because I was too prideful and stubborn to admit the truth, but I knew that what you were sayin' about me was true. I knew it all along. And I know I need to repent. I know I need to start acting like a true disciple of Christ and stop giving Him mere lip-service. I know that I've allowed myself to get away with bein' prideful and arrogant for far too long. I know I need to come down off of my high horse and get over myself and stop thinkin' that I'm too good to serve others. You were right when you said that servin' you was an honor, Ms. Jefferson. It was. It really was. It was an honor that I never truly appreciated before. But I sure do appreciate it now. And I really hope you can forgive me and let me come back to work for you and Mr. Jefferson so I can start makin' everything up to you."
"Oh, Florence," said Louise in a choked-up voice, and then she and Florence hugged each other and cried with each other once again. And when the embrace ended, Louise told her, "Of course I forgive you. And I didn't mean it when I yelled at you that you were fired and that I never wanted to see you again. I hope you'll forgive me for saying that."
Florence shook her head and said, "There's nothin' to forgive, Ms. Jefferson. You had every right in the world to yell at me like that. I was bein' such a fool that night. I had it comin'."
"I had it comin', too," George admitted. "I deserved that verbal butt-kickin' you gave us even more than Florence did."
"Well, it's all water under the bridge now," said Louise as she took both George's and Florence's hands and gave them a loving squeeze.
"Well Weezy, since you feel that way, there's somethin' we both wanna ask you about. I called Florence real early this mornin' while you were still asleep, and we got to talkin' about you and the babies and everything, and…well, how would you feel about Florence movin' in with us? Florence wants to move in and be our full-time maid and nanny so she can help us take care of the babies and the apartment after we bring 'em home from the hospital. After adding to your burdens all these years, we both wanna do everything we can to lighten your load as much as possible now. We just want you to focus on gettin' better and let us take care of everything else."
"That's right," Florence agreed.
"Oh, I think that's a wonderful idea. I love it," said Louise with a happy smile.
"We love you, Weezy," George said in the softest voice. "We love you so much."
"I love you guys, too," Louise told them, still wearing the most contented smile, and then both George and Florence just hugged her and kissed her and loved on her for the longest time.