for a while i thought i might actually never write again which had me scared, but what's a better thing to bring my darvey writing back than phone sex?
to be honest, to me, the beggining and end of this feel like two different stories but this is my fic so i can write whatever i want
thank you kelly for the beta reading, because apparently i can't do shit without you
and thank you all so much for reading! i hope you enjoy and would love to know what you think!
"You're up late," he says when she picks up, not even giving her a chance to greet him on the phone. His voice is unusually low, dragging the words out of his mouth.
"Can't sleep," Donna confesses. "What's up?"
"Just checking in," he says and it should sound weird because he has no reason to. They both left the office a few long hours ago and that is where their contact ends most days. But sometimes, he calls. So it's not weird. Instead it's welcomed and strangely intimate.
Donna smiles to herself. "Why aren't you sleeping?" She asks in return.
"I can't either," Harvey shrugs.
"Long day at the office, huh?"
"Yeah."
She hears him chuckle on the other end of the line and something turns in her chest pleasurably. She thinks this is the softer side of Harvey she often misses. But never when they're on the phone. When they're on the phone he's being more open, like something - the lack of visuals, she guesses - allows him to be more vulnerable with her.
"Hard to get my mind off the trial," he continues, bringing her back from her reverie.
"Harvey... no one knows how long this is going to drag on for. It's going to eat away at you, you have to learn to get some rest."
"I don't know about that," he says and it's that same warm calm tone coloring his voice and sending a shiver down her spine. "I'd rather just focus on sleeping tonight."
"Okay," she says softly. "How are you planning to do that?"
Donna feels the corners of her mouth tug up into a small smile as soon as the words are out of her mouth. Something about the image of Harvey laying in his bed trying to fall asleep, something about the idea of being right there with him in a way. And she thinks it's an innocent question, really. At least that's how she means it when she allows it to escape her throat and murmurs the words low in the receiver.
"Wish I knew. Everything just feels so tense," he groans out.
"Too bad there's no one there to help you with that."
She laughs.
There's a moment of silence where he doesn't, instead he swallows and then his reply comes through, carried by his smooth voice that sounds a little too soft and sincere.
"What about you?" Harvey asks. "You're here."
The element of surprise at his words is more subtle than she would have expected. Maybe it's the late hour or the intimacy their phone calls entail, or the way they've seemed to grow closer over the past few months, flirting unashamedly every chance they get.
"I'm not there," she corrects him.
"Would you want to be?"
She can't believe he's asking this but the answer is yes, she'd want to be there more than she's willing to admit to herself, so Donna ignores his question, retorting with one of her own instead.
"What would you do if I was?"
Donna can practically see him smirk, somewhere in the dim light of his bedroom that she has never entered but is now slowly starting to imagine herself in.
"Are we really doing this?" He asks, amusement in his voice, letting her know he's game if she is.
"Doing what?" Donna feigns innocence, despite her skin having started to tingle already at the possibilities of where this conversation might lead them. "I'm just asking a question."
"Do you really want to know?"
"What would you do Harvey? If I was there?" Her voice is steady and soft, a sensual undertone encouraging him to answer and making him feel like she's not really giving him a choice.
"I'd ask you to lie down next to me."
She hums in the receiver as she feels him hesitate. "Is that all?"
"No," he says, the syllable low and punchy on his tongue. "That's not all. Why don't you tell me what you're wearing?"
The change in his tone is sudden and evident, like he managed to put his resolve back up, like her own sultry voice gave him a green light to go ahead and really say what he's wanting to say. He makes it sound like a demand and as much as she'd like to toy with him, that request alone is enough to send a shiver down her spine. So she just replies and what follows is a quick exchange of words.
"Nightgown."
"Colour?"
"Black."
"I'm sure it looks great on you." Harvey slows down the pace with his hoarse voice and fuck, how does he manage to make that sound so hot and so sweet. "I'd take it off," he adds.
"I'd let you," she lets him know, a little breathless.
She has opened the door for him so he just goes ahead and takes another step forward. "Good," he says with approval and the simplicity of it makes her shiver. "Because I'd want to touch you."
She's starting to feel too hot for the light fabric of her nightgown sticking to her body the way it does. Smoothing her fingers over her breasts she feels her nipples hard underneath the silk. She finds herself asking, "Touch me where?"
"Everywhere," he confesses, a low sigh on his lips. "Your body. Your breasts. I remember everything about how you looked like, Donna."
This feels all too surreal for Donna to worry about it.
Because it's just a random Tuesday night and there's no way she's actually almost having phone sex with her boss. Except she is. And his voice in her ear is doing nothing but turning her on and she now realizes that maybe she had fantasized about this a few times too many.
Harvey notices the slight pause in conversation when Donna takes a little too long being quiet on her end of the line. Her breathing is a little uneven and audible to him, putting the idea in his brain, to dare and ask what he hopes is within the limits they've established so far tonight.
"Donna?" He smirks. "Are you touching yourself?"
"Maybe," she says absentmindedly, giving him the feeling that she's trying to tease him.
"Touch your breasts for me." There's a certain tenderness to his voice that makes the request all the more appealing.
She quietly moves her hand underneath the silky fabric and up her belly, feeling every inch of skin the way she wishes he would if he were there to do it himself. She's warm to the touch, itching for more of it, as she lets out a long and shaky exhale.
"Are you doing it?" He checks on her.
"Yeah..," her voice trails off as she pinches her nipple, almost morphing into a small moan.
It's crazy how wet she is already. She'd attribute it to the ease they have slipping back into this kind of relationship. It never really went away, the night they shared all those years ago, it's always lingering in the back of their minds. He talks to her in that low voice and suddenly she's transported eleven years back. And she can actually recall it all in full detail, the way his hands felt on her body and his tongue in her mouth and how big and hard he was inside her…
"Squeeze them together," Harvey brings her back to the current moment. She responds with a small nod of her head despite knowing that he can't see it, and proceeds to do as she's asked.
She can't comply while holding the phone so she puts him on speaker and lowers it next to where she'd half-seated on her bed. Afterwards she takes off her nightgown hastily, eager to be naked and free to do as Harvey says. She notices her hands trembling slightly as she palms her full breasts and gives them a squeeze. Knowing he's well aware of her exact ministrations makes something spark in her belly, her flesh feeling like it's on fire.
"Is that what you'd do?" She asks, the words breathy, barely over a whisper.
And how he wishes he could just show her for himself. His brain gets flooded with images of her big tits, soft pink nipples hardening under his fingertips, Donna whimpering at his touch.
"I would. I'd squeeze them hard," he replies with a voice impossibly low. "God, I love your tits."
Donna is at the point where she doesn't care any longer, she just wants to be in this as much as possible, to just express what's on her mind without holding back because holy shit this is really Harvey Specter saying all those things and showing her he wants this just as much as she does.
She touches both globes, feeling the weight of the soft flesh in her hands, before taking her nipples between two fingers and giving them a light tug, a small gasp escaping her throat as she does. She closes her eyes to create the mental image and then speaks it out loud. "I wish you were here to do it. I'd want to feel your big hands on me, touching as you'd like, rubbing my nipples."
Harvey thinks this might be actually driving him insane already. He's throbbing inside his boxers, wondering when was the last time a woman in his bed had him this turned on. But with Donna it's different, he thinks, everything is always different. He's quick to get rid of his clothes, leaving himself naked just like he guesses she is in her own bed. His dick stands tall and big, begging for his attention as he gives his balls a squeeze.
"Fuck, Donna…," he growls and it sounds so sincere she wants to know more about the effect her words and sweet little gasps have on him.
"Is that turning you on?" She asks playfully, a small twinkle in her voice.
He grips his length, giving it a full stroke and bites his lip.
"Fuck yes. I'm so hard."
He does sound like it.
She hums in response, the arousal evident in the sound. "What are you doing about that?"
"Stroking myself. Slowly. Thinking about how your lips would look around my cock. Would you do that, Donna? If you were here?"
The thought of Harvey working his dick while having her on his mind makes her think over everything she's ever known once again, until suddenly what's happening seems completely inevitable. They both want this too much and too often for any restrictions to truly work.
There's no filter anymore but she still feels the need to tease him before admitting to how much she wants him. She says, "Maybe I would," and licks her lips.
"You know you would," Harvey replies smugly and she can't disagree with that. If he was in the same room, all open and available to her, whispering those dirty things, she knows she wouldn't think twice about sucking his cock into her mouth.
"You're right," she says softly, making an extensive effort to keep her voice even. He wishes he could come in her pretty little mouth tonight.
Her panties feel uncomfortably damp now and she presses her thighs together to try and relieve some of the pressure on her throbbing clit, the friction of wet lace against her core doing nothing but arousing her further.
Damn Harvey.
She takes off her panties and tosses them to the side. He hears her moan as she slips a finger between her legs, running it shallowly over her pussy and the wetness pooling there. And fuck, he missed that sound so much.
"You'd look so hot on your knees. You're always hot, do you know that? You have no idea how many times I've thought about fucking you."
"Fucking me again," she corrects.
"Fucking you again."
If they were to be honest for once, they've probably thought about fucking each other again ever since the other time. But there have been rules and lines in place, preventing them from doing so, forcing them not to think about it. Now there aren't any, they've all crumbled down, and yet it's not entirely like crossing what they've been so afraid of again.
"Feel how wet you are for me," he says as he keeps pumping his dick, spreading the precum leaking at the tip over his length. The images flashing before his eyes make this all too real, pale freckled skin and whipped cream covering Donna's pink nipples and pussy. Him licking it off her.
"I already did," she breathes out.
"You didn't say," he says with a voice so low and hoarse and sexy she swears it forces the last bit of control she has out of her.
"I'm so wet. Please," she all but begs.
She rubs tight circles over her clit, alternating the movement with plunging two fingers inside her pussy until she's moaning at every intrusion.
"This is so hot, fuck, Donna. You're amazing."
He's had fantasies about her for years. While jerking himself off, even so. But this is better than anything he had ever imagined, better than anything his mind could come up with. It was Donna moaning and gasping, touching herself because of him, for him, with a neediness so apparent in her voice it could be enough to make him come.
"Harvey," she lets out an intake of breath. "Make me come."
He can't wrap his head around this. Around the fact that this is Donna. And the idea of her asking him to guide her to her release is just making him impossibly harder. He squeezes the base of his dick and lets out a low growl.
Harvey can't remember a time when he wished she'd be with him more than now. But if he wants to come he has to hurry up and take care of her first. He wants her to come first.
"Rub your pussy," he starts, "Imagine it is me doing it. How many fingers do you like inside you?"
"God, I- I don't know. It depends." She lets out a moan. Doing like he's instructing she retracts her fingers and rubs her clit, letting out a loud gasp at the contact. She's so wet. Her thighs are wet, the sheets underneath her are wet, and she doesn't really know what she's doing or what sounds she allows to escape her throat. She doesn't really care either.
"Start with one and go slow. Then add another one. That's what I'd do, I'd want to drive you crazy before I'd make you come. If I was there, I'd kiss your neck, right below your ear like you like."
She whimpers a "Fuck, Harvey, please." She's lost count of how many times she's said the word please to him during the time they've been on the call, but she doesn't care. She's hornier than she's ever been and for fucks sake, he's not even there.
"I'd touch your tits. I'd take your nipple in my mouth and I would suck and lick while you begged for more. Just like you are now."
She gives her nipple a tug with her free hand to recreate a fraction of what he's describing, her other hand slipping two fingers inside her pussy again, moving in and out of her faster this time around.
"I want you so badly," she times the words just right with a moan that slips from her lips without her even noticing.
This is truly getting too much for him and he needs to come now or he'll explode. Donna is moaning, panting, her every little sound boring into Harvey's brain and letting him know she's close.
"Fuck, this is so hot. And I want you to come around my cock. I'll make you come now," he says as he's jerking his cock forcefully now, his movements becoming quicker with each stroke, the wet sounds and Donna's moan filling his ears.
"Please," she's dizzy and hot, moaning uncontrollably while moving her fingers and rubbing her clit so fast she thinks she'll come apart any moment now.
"Imagine me fucking you hard and fast. Remember how it felt to have me inside you?"
"Yes… God," she cries out at the memory. "It felt so good, I- I miss it so much… God Harvey."
"Just like that. I miss it too. So think about my dick inside you. Fuck yourself with three fingers and imagine it's me, okay?"
"God, Harvey I-, I'm gonna-" she doesn't get to finish the sentence because suddenly she's coming apart.
"Donna. Come for me."
And she does. With a swipe of her fingers and Harvey's voice around her, she comes hard, unlike what she has ever made herself come like before, her walls convulsing around her fingers as she screams his name.
"Harvey, that-" she doesn't finish the sentence at first, her breath still heavy on her lips as she's trying to come back from the high, chest heaving and fingers still gently caressing her body. "That was so good," she finishes whispering, her eyes closed and a small content smile forming on her lips.
That's what does it for him, the image of her lying naked with her chest and cheeks flushed, eyelids heavy and mouth agape, and he's spilling all over his stomach with a low growl and her name on his lips.
For a moment after that all they can hear is each other's irregular breathing, their phones still on speaker, tossed somewhere next to where they're splayed on their respective mattresses, heated and spent.
They don't talk after that, but they don't hang up either. It's not entirely a conscious choice but they had never prepared for this happening so no choice seems right or wrong in that moment.
Saying goodnight and pressing the button would feel too much like acknowledging this actually happened, so instead, they stay still and continue enjoying each other's presence. There's an almost guilty element in doing so, combined with an underlying fear that if they make a sound the spell will break and everything will fall apart.
Harvey doesn't want to let go just yet anyway, Donna's soft breaths adding to how good she made him feel just seconds ago. He wonders why that is.
They fall asleep a few minutes later, still on the line.
Donna wakes up feeling like everything that went down before she fell asleep was a fever dream but when she checks her phone she finds an hours-long call between her and Harvey from the previous night. He must've gotten up before her and hung up.
And it sinks in that she really had phone sex with Harvey.
.
When she arrives at the office the next day, she spends far longer than she needs to getting upstairs, taking off her coat, sorting her things on her desk and avoiding passing by Harvey's door - wondering if he's going to acknowledge what happened last night in any way. Wondering if it's just going to be another thing they turn into a rule to never mention again.
And she honestly doesn't know which version of things she prefers. It felt good being with him like this again, even with all the physical distance between them. More than good even, and she can't deny that it was more real than anything she remembers experiencing with other people, which should sound crazy but instead it makes sense.
Donna stops thinking about it when the day goes by and Harvey doesn't make an attempt at bringing it up. And she has no idea what might be going through his head but it seems like, currently, preserving the status quo is the better option.
They don't mention it in person and life at the office goes on just like it always did. They don't cut back on the teasing and flirting either, and it's good to know that what happened didn't break them.
He calls again two days later. At first it's just small talk and random conversation but there's an underlying feeling in both their chests that this isn't why he picked up his phone and dialed her number. They stumble over their own words until it's clear enough that they both want this again, and Harvey is undressing her with his smooth voice that turns a bit strangled when she makes him come in turn, a few minutes later.
This time they say goodnight and hang up and it almost feels like a sign that this isn't as forbidden as they made it seem the first night.
And that's just the beginning. What follows after that is a full month of late night calls, of flirting and yearning, of pushing each other over the edge and lulling each other to sleep with heavy breaths. One month of phone calls that they try to make seem unplanned and voices they fail to keep from sounding affectionate.
He admits that he could never forget about their first night together and she tells him she knows. She couldn't either.
He tells her he wishes he had fucked her at the wedding and she replies that she wishes he had.
He tells her she's the most beautiful woman he's ever met as he makes her come and she shows him how much she cares about him as she does the same for him in return.
The thing is, they never admit to any of this being more than it looks like.
Harvey is starting to wonder if this is all there is, all they'll ever be. They were never good at caging that in a box, never quite managed to come up with a definition for their relationship. And with every phone call that got answered it keeps getting more complicated, because this isn't being friends anymore but it isn't exactly sex either.
And maybe he always knew, or maybe he never thought he'd reach this realization, but he suddenly finds himself questioning what Donna Paulsen really means to him.
And the answer is quite simple. She's the most important person in his life.
And isn't that how it's always been?
Hasn't it always been Donna?
Donna when they flirt and tease behind office glass walls, sitting cross-legged on each side of his desk and exchanging affectionate smiles over paperwork. Donna when he buys her flowers on her closing night and makes sure he drives her home afterwards so she's safe. Donna when he makes her gasp and moan, and feel good, even while he's so far away.
And he starts feeling like an idiot for needing a bunch of late night calls to get to this, but a part of him, somewhere deep deep down, is grateful he managed to access those feelings at all.
.
"Hey," he says one night he calls a little after 11 pm.
"Hi," Donna replies a little sheepishly and it crosses her mind that this subtle shyness never fully went away, not even after all this time.
Her small smile fades as she remembers the looks they had exchanged earlier that day at the office, how Harvey had ogled her in that dress she chose specifically to tease him, payback for that three-piece he wore the other day that managed to drive her insane until they had a chance to get on the phone that same night.
He pauses so she goes ahead. "Are you home?"
"Yeah," Harvey says and it sounds a little strangled, like his mind is on something else. He's not sure why he called. Loneliness maybe, or habit, but there's a better chance he just started to miss her already. It's not until she makes another attempt that he realizes he can't keep doing this. Not like this.
"What are you wearing?" She asks but he stays quiet, making a note of concern appear in her voice calling his name. "Harvey?"
"Yeah, I-," He tries and it's not rare that Donna leaves him at a loss for words but this isn't like any of those other times. "Not tonight," he murmurs finally, the words muffled in apology.
"Is everything alright?" Her free hand drops on her lap, brows furrowed in confusion at this sudden change in his tone.
"Yes I just," he rubs his palm over his face. "Can't." He's sure he needs her to know now.
"I'm sorry," she says, the air caught in her throat. "I just assumed… At the office today and then… You calling," she sounds so flustered. "I just thought-"
"Hey, stop. It's not your fault," he tells her gently, putting her rambling to a halt. "But I don't want this anymore, Donna," he says steadily but softly, and he can swear he hears her heart drop.
This has been a long time coming.
"Why now?" She asks, her voice trembling, as she wonders why this is affecting her this much and tries to gain back some self control. This is the exact thing she was afraid of since the first call. Getting used to it, getting too attached, mistaking it for something that it wasn't.
But he says, "What I mean is, I don't want just this anymore."
And something akin to hope swells in her chest.
"What are you saying Harvey?"
"That I'm in love with you," he says plainly. "And I can't stand the thought of us doing this anymore without you knowing."
"You're in love with me," she murmurs softly and in awe, as if trying to convince herself of the fact. Harvey Specter is in love with her. "Are you sure?"
He imagines her sitting on her bed, smiling into her phone as she tries to process his words and he bites back a grin of his own.
"Of course I'm sure. How could I not be?"
"So you really want all of this?" Donna is still giddy in disbelief, a light blush starting to spread across her cheeks.
"Do you?" He asks breathlessly, his heart feeling like it will leap out of his chest.
"I do," she confirms. "And I'm in love with you too."
"You are?" If she could see him she'd witness the relief plain on his face, but she can't, and that's the only bad part about this moment.
"Harvey," she says, a bashful smile on her face. "I wish I could kiss you."
"You will soon," he promises and hangs up, leaving her with her heart pounding in her chest and an impossibly wide smile on her face.
Fifteen minutes later he's knocking on her door and once he sees her, his face splits into a massive grin, his cold hands framing her face.
And then he's kissing her, his lips soft and warm against hers, tugging gently on her bottom lip until she gasps in his mouth, his hands in her hair as hers hook around the back of his neck, deepening the kiss - and it's like everything either of them imagined and more.
All the years of suppressed desire, and love that seemed either unrequired or too deeply hidden, all the late night conversations and sexual frustration, everything pent up gettign released, validated.
Donna pulls away and tips her head back to meet his eyes that are warm and gentle on her, making their noses brush in the process.
"You're finally here," he says a little softer than what she's used to from him and it looks like an opening for a future she never thought they'd have together. His grip on her tightens while their faces remain inches apart, foreheads touching and breaths mingling.
"Come on," she tells him with a shy smile, reaches for his hand and laces their fingers together as she makes a step out of his embrace and towards the bedroom.
Harvey smirks and follows after her, ready for them to finally be together.
It didn't happen like Donna ever imagined it would. It wasn't a grand romantic gesture or a late night at the office after too many drinks where they'd give in to their desires. It was a mixture of both and it happened seamlessly and without them ever noticing.
Now instead of phone calls she has him in her bed, and instead of falling asleep on the open line they fold themselves into each other's arms. And their blind love and reckless actions have led them exactly where they are supposed to be.
He still calls, but now it's to hear her voice and to ask her to meet.