I own nothing. No copyright infringement is intended. This chapter is titled after the song Chaotic by Tate McRae. It didn't inspire the chapter. I just like it. LOL.

"What the hell are you talking about, Leelee?" Quil crossed his arms over his chest in aggravation.

Leah said, "Can we have one important conversation at a time?" She shot him a dirty look. Back off for a fucking minute, Leah thought. Quil leaned back and scowled. "Anyway," Leah said to Hodie, softening her tone.

Hodie chuckled nervously and said, "No offense to either of you, but I'll be way more comfortable continuing without you two being pissy. Honestly, I am kind of curious about this, too."

Leah rolled her eyes as Quil's scowl shifted into a triumphant smirk. And the newfound bro solidarity continues...

Leah sighed heavily and said, "Fine. After Sam cheated on me and then dumped me for Emily, I had a terrible time dealing with it all. He did, too. I didn't understand it then, but Sam was basically in the same situation that I am in now. He still loved me, but the imprint had tied him to Emily. At some point, everything sort of boiled over, and as a result ... Sam and I ended up fucking around for a little while."

Quil snapped, "Are you fucking serious?" He shook his head and scoffed, "I fucking knew it."

Her temper risking, Leah said, "You know what, Quil? It was before you first phased. I was heartbroken and stupid, okay? You fucked Claire because you were pissed off at me, so save me the judgment."

Ignoring her baiting words, Quil asked, "When did it stop? The screwing around?"

Leah said, "Right before your first phase. A week or two, I think. It feels like it was such a long time ago. I wasn't fucking both of you at the same time, Quil. I swear it."

Quil calmed down somewhat as he leaned on his forearms at the table. He said, "I knew something was up back then. You kept denying it, but the way Sam obsessed over you all the time ... He treated you like shit, Leelee."

Leah stared down at the tabletop, hating the guilt she still carried for her affair with Sam. She said, "Because I cut him off. I told him it had to stop. I told him it could never happen again the first time it happened. I told him that every single time. I would avoid him for a few days. Something would happen that upset me or him, and he would be all over me. I would end up giving in. The next thing I knew, it would be over, and I would fucking hate myself. Again. I finally decided none of it was fair, especially to myself. He and Emily had betrayed me, but what I was doing wasn't any better. So, I ended it for good. He started acting like a jealous idiot, treating me like I was the one making things difficult. It wore me down again for a minute, and I went back to angry, bitter Leah. The unbearable bitch that everyone wished would just disappear. That was why I was such a cunt that night at the bonfire when Bella and I got into it. Sam forced me to come that night. He alpha-fucking-ordered me to sit there that night. I swore it was on purpose just so I would have to watch him all over Emily. He alpha-ordered for me to keep it a secret. I couldn't even think about us fucking around or tell anyone about it." Leah teared up defensively.

Hodie asked, "So, what exactly is an Alpha order?"

Quil said, "The Alpha was Sam before Jake took over. The Alpha can command the rest of the pack to obey his wishes without fail. So far, only Jacob has found ways around them, but we think that is because he was always supposed to be the Alpha. Our Alpha could literally tell us to stop fucking breathing, and we would have to do it. It is physically painful to defy the orders. If we are told to withhold information and try to reveal it, it feels like choking. You can barely breathe."

Hodie turned to Leah and asked, "So you couldn't have confided in anyone, even if you truly wanted to?"

Leah shook her head no. Despite her anger, she felt relieved to finally tell someone about what she had gone through alone.

She turned to glare at Quil and said, "I was so trapped. I felt so unwanted. Even my mom made me feel like a giant fucking nuisance. My dad had just died. All Jacob could focus on was Bella, and Seth absolutely loathed me at the time. I hated Sam so much, but next to Charlie checking on me sometimes, Sam was all I had. After you phased, you were the only person I really trusted at the time. You were the first person to show any concern in months, Quil. I fell in love with you because you reminded me that I was worth being loved. That is still the way you make me feel every day. This was the only thing I ever lied to you about because I had to. So, please do not make me feel like shit about Sam." Leah brushed away angry tears as she choked back a sob.

The scowl fled his face as he forced a sympathetic smile at her and said, "Sweetheart, I didn't mean to make you feel like shit for anything. I was just mad you lied about it. I knew shit was off with you and Sam back then, but you wouldn't tell me. I practically begged you to tell me the truth. I didn't know he had abused you like that, Leelee, and I'm sorry."

Leah rolled her eyes and said, "He didn't abuse me, Quil. I was weak as fuck, yes, but I was also young, stupid, and willing."

Quil said, "He manipulated your feelings to guilt you into fucking him and then threatened you so you wouldn't tell anyone. That is all that Alpha-order bullshit is in the first place. A threat to obey, or else. It takes away your free will. That is why Jacob hates to use Alpha commands. What Sam did was abusive toward you, and he was abusing his position. It's bullshit." Quil shook his head angrily, leaning back in his chair again.

Tentatively, Hodie said, "Darlin, he's right. Now I don't know Sam well and won't pretend to … but, you know, a lot of shit makes more sense now."

Quil chuckled bitterly and nodded. "You really don't know the half of it, man. Leah and I fought so much over Sam back then. She was always afraid of his retaliation. That he would beat the shit out of me. I was convinced she still loved him, and it scared me because I was crazy in love with her. We are all at peace with each other around here these days, but shit was hard for a long time. Especially for Leah." Quil leaned over and pulled Leah toward him to kiss her forehead. She leaned into him, sniffling. "I'm sorry," he said. "I wish you could have told me back then. You didn't deserve the hard time I gave you about Sam."

Leah said, "You would have just blown up at him in front of everyone if you knew."

Quil nodded and said, "You are damned right, I would have. I would have taken that ass beating. I don't care."

Leah said, "You defended me against Sam enough as it was."

Quil grumbled, "He's damn lucky Jake and Paul didn't know this shit. One of his best friends or not, Paul would have beaten Sam's ass."

God, Quil, please don't tell Paul. If he knew, everyone would know in less than a few hours. Paul's mouth was like a siren, loud and uncaring of who jumped when it sounded. The sudden fear of all of the peace she had found imploding instantly made her panic. Paul would probably cuss Sam out. Jacob would be livid, possibly even taking Sam's beta position away. Jacob would never condone what he considered an abuse of power, and Quil would convince him it had been precisely that. Sam had lied and forced me to lie to them all. Emily would be devastated if she knew the full extent of his deception, even if she did know about the affair. They named their fucking child after me.

Leah looked up at Quil tearfully and begged, "Please don't tell them. Not any of them. Not even Embry, Quil. I never even told Bells this shit, and you know that I tell her everything. I don't know if Emily knows, and I don't want her to. I'm finally happy now, and I have my cousin back. Please don't start something when shit is finally peaceful." Hodie reached out and grabbed her hand. He squeezed it gently, and she took a deep breath.

Quil soothed, "I wouldn't do that, Sweetheart. This shit is your business. Sam's alpha rule over you ended long ago. If you wanted people to know, you would have told them by now. I'm honestly just sitting here trying to not judge myself. Sam put you through hell for a long fucking time, but I did, too." He leaned toward her again and rubbed her back affectionately. She sniffled and wiped her face as she took a calming breath.

Speaking of men putting me through hell. She looked up at Hodie and asked, "Would you like to finish our conversation?"

His crooked grin instantly helped to lighten her mood. He drew a circle in the air with his free hand, indicating the three of them. He said, "I just want to know what this is. I don't want to feel uncertain."

Quil said, "If you two want to tell people you're together, I don't give a shit."

Leah looked up at him in disbelief, and he shrugged. "I told you, Leelee, I have thought about this shit lots. To be honest, I couldn't think of a way to approach it. When Hodie got here last night, and I realized you were both as nervous about everything as I was, I figured maybe we should really give it a shot." Quil turned to Hodie and said, "I mean, it's worth a try for me if it makes Leah happy."

Hodie chuckled doubtfully and said, "Really? You're really down for this whole situation? You're absolutely sure?" Leah silently observed as Quil scoffed at the questions. Hodie said, "I'm serious, man. Let me talk to you about this because I've been there. There will be days when Leah leaves the house and wants to kiss both of us goodbye. Sometimes, that might happen in front of other people. There will be times that you or I walk into the house, and she will be fucking the other one. There will be times when she only wants to spend the night with one of us and not both. I live an hour away, which means you could end up here overnight alone from time to time. That doesn't seem bad until you think about what she is doing while she's gone. There will be times you need her to yourself, and we can't expect each other to just know when that is the case. We will have to communicate about both sides of the relationship honestly. What happened last night and this morning may or may not happen again. Obviously, it is fine with me. Not my first rodeo. However, we both have jealousy triggers where Leah is concerned, and we might not fucking like each other very much from time to time. Every decision she makes will have to be left up to her. We will both have to not take offense whenever she takes the other side or decides to spend the night somewhere else."

Quil said, "We already do some of these things where Julien is concerned. Working together, not getting jealous about time spent together. We put his needs first. I am willing to do that for Leah, too. I wouldn't have encouraged her to ask you to follow us home last night if I wasn't. You have given me more to think about, but it doesn't change my mind."

Hodie grinned playfully over at Leah as he asked, "So, Quil put you up to it, huh?"

Leah could feel her cheeks getting warm as she laughed. She said, "Yes, he did. Before I knew I was pregnant, I told Quil that I wanted to be with both of you. When you finally came back, I was afraid it had been too long."

Quil turned to Hodie and said, "Also, seeing and hearing someone else with her like that … I liked it way more than I anticipated. I highly doubt I will walk in on you two and get pissed."

Hodie laughed at Quil and said, "There is another thing we need to talk about. Julien is a baby now, but how will we describe this situation when he gets older?"

Leah said, "I will always tell my son the truth. He doesn't have to have all the hairy details to understand that his parents love each other and our family is happy. When he asks those questions, we can deal with them. Until then, I want him to just be a kid." Leah hesitated and said, "I am sure people will have shitty opinions, but that is their problem. Fuck it. The only people I care about already know I love both of you. I actually doubt anyone will care what we do. They might gossip and give us shit for a while. Our mothers might be uncomfortable, but they can fuck off about it, too."

Quil laughed in agreement and shrugged at Hodie. He asked, "And Charlie?"

Leah said, "Charlie loves me like I am his own. He just wants me to be happy. If you haven't noticed, he supports my decisions as implicitly as Jacob does. Besides, I think he has gotten pretty used to weird shit."

Quil laughed and said, "We turn into wolves and run with vampires all the time. I think we crossed the weird threshold a long fucking time ago."

Hodie sighed, looking somewhat relieved. He asked, "So we are really going to do this? Are you sure? You guys are laughing now, but when Jake found out earlier, you were both embarrassed."

Leah said, "You know Jacob is like my brother. He and I always get embarrassed about that stuff where the other is concerned. But, to answer your question … Yes. I want to try it if you want to. Quil and I … we are kind of a package deal."

Quil shrugged and said, "So are you two. Hodie, I know we offered it before to help you out, but if this situation works … we have a spare room. You could have your own space. You two could spend time together without me up both of your asses. I already know Paul would hire you at the bar if you wanted. You are probably a helluva lot better at mixing drinks than him." Leah nodded, smirking, and Quil continued, "I'm honestly not home nearly as much as I would like to be. She waits up half the night because she hates to sleep alone ever since all that shit happened with Amara. Some nights I come home so exhausted I don't have the energy to spend time with her. I have watched her miss you for a long fucking time, Hodie. Plus you would be able to spend all the time with Julien that you wanted. Just don't be surprised that I will too. I love that fucking kid."

"I know you do," Hodie said, nodding. "I'll definitely think about it." Hodie grinned as Julien began crying from the next room and stood to go get him. Quil got up to make Julien a bottle. He pointed at Leah and said, "Eat, Leelee."

Leah huffed, "I do actually eat now, you know?" Quil gave her a wicked grin as he continued his task, and she picked at her cold pizza.

Later that evening, Hodie held Julien to his chest as Leah walked him to his truck. He grinned as he gently rubbed Julien's back, savoring every second before driving home. Leah gazed up into his face, the butterflies he had always given her fluttering wildly in her chest. Not long ago, she believed she would never see him again. That he would never know his son. Then she had tried to come to terms with only being his friend and co-parenting as best as possible. Now they could try to be a family, and she got to keep Quil, too. Bella had not been wrong in her observations the night before. It truly felt like the universe was paying back so much of what life had taken from her. Despite her hopes, a tiny voice inside of her reminded Leah that Quil had an imprint, too. One that could decide she wanted him back someday. She silently prayed that the day would never come.

"I love you," Hodie said as he leaned against his truck. Leah looked into his eyes and gasped as her heart skipped a beat. The long-forgotten sensation of being tethered snapped tightly into place and wound its way around her throat. Her wolf was ecstatic, happy to fully claim its mate again.

Her voice cracked with emotion as she said, "I love you, too." Hodie handed Julien to her carefully before cupping her face in his hands.

"We will talk soon," Hodie said and leaned to press his lips to hers tenderly. He then kissed her forehead before bending down to kiss Julien's also. "I love you both."

Hodie climbed into his truck, and Leah watched as he drove away. She carried Julien inside, where Quil waited patiently to embrace them both.

For the sake of my sanity, please review. Where are the rats when I need them? LOL.