Chapter 5 Fyrestone, What a Pain

I hate Pandora.

It was a world designed to try and kill you in the most horrific and painful way possible. And if it wasn't the monsters who got you first...

"Joohhn~." My grandma called for me, in a musical tone.

Then it was them. The bandits.

"John." She repeated herself, much less amused.

I've been hiding from her for six hours now, she finally began to lose her patience. She usually loved this game. Hide and seek, and when she found me, she'd beat me bloody. Maybe smack me around with her buzz axe.

But today, she wasn't happy. Because for once, in my entire life, I was going to win. I was going to escape. I've been planning it for months, and now it's finally here, the window of opportunity. But it all hinges on today, because if I don't take it now, it may never open again.

"Get out here! NOW!" Oh, I'm planning to, Grandma.

In my hands, I held a makeshift stun rod. I made it out of some of the crap that gets tossed out here in the Eridium Blight. It'd be good for one hit, but then I'm shit out of luck. I haven't used it yet, I need to make it count.

That's why I'm still hiding, if I ever wanted to get out of this hell hole of a planet, I'd need some cash to get by. Not much a kid could do out here to get their hands on some. Atlas wouldn't share, and the only way you'd get money from a bandit, is if you were the one beating them.

So, that's the plan.

One good swing, and its lights out Grandma, you psychopath.

After that… I'm getting the hell off Pandora. There's a transport to Tantalus, I'll hop on, and improvise from there. I never met him, but I heard dad had some family there. Doubt I'll get a warm welcome, but they can't be any worse than her.

"Enough, John! You show your face right now, or I'll-" She threatened as she walked just past my hiding spot.

I jumped out from behind her, startling her. "I told you," I reminded her, while she was still reeling from shock. To then literally, reel from shockas I got a good hit on her. "It's Jack."

I looted her, and ran, never looking back. I promised myself that day, that if I ever came back to Pandora, it would be to burn it all down.

Fucking bandits.

…

I don't know if it was Jack's feeling or mine, but as I and the Vault Hunters tore our way through the bandits. I didn't feel any guilt about killing them. I actually enjoyed it, strangely enough, I didn't seem to mind for once.

"Did you see that?!" Brick celebrated, as he literally punched a bandit's head off.

At least I'm in good company.

"It's okay Claptrap. The Travelers will protect you, the travelers will protect you." Claptrap repeated to himself frantically, in his annoying digital voice.

Annnd not so good company.

I mentally rolled my eyes, at the robot, before turning my attention to the others. Brick was practically the Hulk, pulverizing his opponents in a mixture of rage, muscle, and sweat.

Mordecai played it cool, dropping the bandits one by one, with one shot each, and had Bloodwing draw them out when they weren't in his line of fire.

Roland looked every bit the soldier he used to be. Side by side with his turret, and behind it, he shredded his way through the horde of bandits, never once easing up. As for Lilith… wow.

I've seen Angel use her powers before, helped her practice more times than I could count, but I've never seen anything like this. One second she was there, the next she's behind the bandits, blasting them off their feet, and kicking them while they're down.

It was… pretty hot.

I blink the thought away and focus on killing my section of bandits. I subconsciously grew a smug grin and the bandits backed up. I cracked my knuckles and unleashed a beam of lasers on the poor, unsuspecting bandits.

They screamed and tried to escape but fell over themselves onto a dogpile of dead bodies. I smirked and blew on my wrist lasers like I was in the wild, wild west.

"Hooray! We did it!" Claptrap claimed, exiting his hiding spot after we beat back the first section of bandits. "That sure was a doozy, huh guys?" He raised his hand for a high five that nobody returned.

"Dad." Angel scolded me on our private channel.

I rolled my eyes, before offering the annoying robot my hand, sadly slapping his mechanical limb and not his mechanical face. I'm gonna call Claptrap him now, by the way, it's so much harder to think of these things as an it, when they just have so much… personality.

"Thank you." Angel said cutely, before leaving again.

"Right." I said to both of them. "Now, onto the task at hand. Bandit's aren't gone yet, and we're not gonna get any help from the locals if they're dead. So," I clapped my hands together. "Let's get moving."

"No problem!" Claptrap agreed happily. We reached the second gate to the town and saw that the controls got damaged. "Don't worry, friends! I am a CL4P- TP, we were made to open doors!" He explained cheerfully. "In the meantime, why don't you open that storage device? There may be something inside to help against those bandits."

I waved Lilith to go ahead. I already had my wrist lasers, and the Digi-Jacks if I needed them. Besides those loot crates mostly had crap weapons anyway. Lilith just shrugged and went ahead.

"Hey guys, found some ammo." She mentioned to the others, Roland and Mordecai moving up to reload, and restock. Brick was fine, because of the aforementioned punching strategy. "Jack, you sure you don't want this? It's not bad for a beginner."

I felt a little offended at that. "Woah, I am not a beginner." I defended myself. "I just don't need guns. My wrist lasers do all the work."

Lilith raised an eyebrow and grew a small smirk. "If you say so… you know, it is a pretty good gun."

I crossed my arms. "I'm fine."

"Sure." She said smugly.

"I mean it."

"I believe you."

I frowned, and hesitated. "Is it Hyperion?" I asked.

She took a second to check the logo. "Yup."

Screw it… I sighed and raised my hands for a catch. "Okay, toss it here."

Lilith made to throw it, but paused at the last second, and her smirk grew a little wider. She casually approached me with a sway in her step. "What do we say?" She teased.

I groan, and look to the heavens, before bringing my head back down to mutter my response. Lilith put a hand around her ear, as if trying to hear clearer, but her smile betrayed her body language. "A little louder, handsome?"

I sighed. "Can I please have the gun?"

Lilith chuckled and handed it to me, patting my mask shortly "Good boy."

I heard snickering and turned to see the other three Vault Hunters watching. I gave them a glare, before quickly replying. "Shut up."

Mordecai raised his hands in surrender, stifling his laughter before he spoke. "I didn't say anything, amigo."

I pointed at him accusingly. "You were thinking it." I said, for which he had no rebuttal, other than an amused smile.

"Yup! This definitely isn't going to work." Claptrap states annoyed yet still sounding cheerful.

Claptraps are so useless.

"Cool." I remark sarcastically. "Well genius, is there another way inside?"

Claptrap looks up to me thrilled. "Genius?! No one's ever called me that before!" He taps his "head" in contemplation. "I know! There's a secret side entrance, we can take that! Follow meeeee!" He cheered, rolling away waving his metal arms.

I quietly groan in frustration, before turning the others. "You head him, let's do what Claptrap says." I instructed before facepalming. "God, I can't believe I just said that."

We quickly follow that rolling abomination into the town of Fyrestone, where we encountered the bandits within. I decided I'd give that new gun a try. Quickly drawing it off my hip I aim at the closest bandit…

And miss. Thankfully, I hit the explosive barrel right behind him, so everyone else was just really impressed. 'Dammit.' I thought, displeased with my aim. 'Okay, Jack. Try again, just like we practiced.' This time I take a breath, aim for one's chest, and fire.

"That was my favorite gun!" The bandit cried in despair, after I accidentally shot into its barrel.

Oh, come on!

Lilith popped up behind him, and blasted him down, where he landed lying down next to me. Well, can't miss point blank, right? I went for his right eye, and instead got his left.

Meh, close enough.

Lilith seemed impressed. "Nice shooting, Tex." She complimented, as a bandit tried to sneak up behind her.

I shook my head and raised my gun. "It's Jack, Lil." I reminded her, aiming for the bandit behind her. Bang, and actually hitting where I wanted this time. "Handsome Jack."

She glowed and got ready for a punch, and me remembering what that did to the last Jack, hastily dodged. And Lilith hit the bandit behind me. "I'll remember that, handsome." She remarked flirtatiously, walking away with a sway in her step.

I tore my eyes away from her and coughed. Looking around, I saw that the fighting had pretty much died down. "Great work, everybody. Knew I made the right choice when I hired you. So, uh, let's check up on the locals, yeah?" I asked, while Claptrap rolled up to Dr. Zed's residence.

"Of course, sir!" Claptrap agreed joyously, under some strange assumption I was speaking to him. He knocked on Dr. Zed's door. "Attention citizens of Fyrestone! There is no cause for alarm. These new visitors have resolved the problem!"

"Well shoot, I thought I was a goner that time!" Dr. Zed responded through the door, relieved and in his old southern accent. "Damn bandits won't leave us alone. Had to lock this place up tight. I'll let you in." He paused.

"... Come on!" Zed shouted frustrated. "Damn it. Blasted circuits are on the fritz again. Give it a go from the switch out there, would you?" He asked kindly.

I looked at the others and saw they were busy gathering loot, and ammo. "Yeah, don't everyone jump at once, it's fine I can do it." I muttered to myself a little annoyed, as I flipped the switch.

"Amazing job, sir!" Claptrap complemented, actually impressed by the act of flipping a switch.

"Thank you, Claptrap." I said reluctantly. "It's nice to be appreciated."

The garage opened and I and the Vault Hunters made our way inside. "Thanks, fer openin' her up again." Dr. Zed told us gratefully.

"You're welcome." I remarked before I introduced us to the (not so good) doctor. "I'm Handsome Jack, the big guy's Brick, and the guy allergic to smiling is Roland. The bird guy is Mordecai, the bird-bird is Bloodwing, and the girl who can probably kick all of our asses is Lilith." I introduce, getting a few chuckles, and a few looks.

I heard a digitalized cough and turned around. I sighed before adding. "And that's Claptrap, I assume you've met."

"Sadly, yes." Dr. Zed glancing at the mechanical monstrosity. He offered his hand and I shook it, with the mental note to wipe the blood off my hand later. "Name's Zed, they don't let me cut on folks anymore since I lost my license. So, now I keep the med vendors 'round here up and running."

"Uh, think we're fine." I stated, checking on my group for any injuries, but it looked like they were okay. "Still, good to have a backup plan, what do your machines have?"

Dr. Zed thought for a moment before he answered. "Well, from the vendors you can buy all the healin' you could ever want from a real doc… thankfully without the "Vault is a myth, you'll get yourself killed" lecture.

"I like the sound of that." I said encouragingly. "Is it cheap?"

Dr. Zed shrugged. "Cheaper than a real doc."

"Sold!"

…

"So, listen Doc," Jack started off, putting a hand on the not-doctor's shoulder. "The five of us are looking for the Vault. And I think some of you locals might have an idea or two where it is."

Say what you would about her new boss, he knew how to appeal to people. Dr. Zed looked a bit troubled. "Vault Hunters, huh? Well I ain't very happy to tell you this, but I don't got a clue."

"That's fine." Jack reassured him, unconcerned. "But I bet you know someone who might." He pointed out, leadingly.

Dr. Zed hesitated but after a few seconds spoke up. "Tell you what outside of Fyrestone, just past the gate and across the road, you'll find a few skag dens. Some nasty, four legged creatures that'll eat anything, including you." Dr. Zed told them all.

"And?" Lilith asked, bored. She's handled her fair share of them by now, they weren't much of a problem.

"And I wanna know if you can handle yourself in a fight against some of these beasts, so head on an out and kill some of 'em for me. If you're still in one piece then c'mon back." Dr. Zed explained briefly.

"Sounds good, doc!' Jack agreed, patting him on the back. "Trust me, these guys are badasses, it won't take too long."

"That's great! Once you get back, we can spend so much time together! Please follow me, and I'll open the gate!" Claptrap cheered, already rolling to the main entrance.

"Wait, what?" Jack took notice in drawing horror. "No, no no no, that's not necessary." He struggled in vain, as we followed the robot to the gate.

"I insist." Claptrap argued. "I can't just leave my new best friends here all alone. Just think of all the cool things we can do together! We could fly kites or sing karaoke! Oh! We could go dancing! It'll be so fun, and everyone will be super happy!"

Lilith thought it would have sounded almost endearing if it wasn't so annoying. Thankfully, Claptrap was interrupted as a trio of Bandit Technicals, swerved by the main gate. They unloaded some bandits and shot Claptrap with a rocket.

She now had mixed feelings on the bandits.

That quickly changed after they began shooting at her. Almost immediately she began to use Phasewalk, sneaking up behind them to unleash bolts upon bolts electricity. The others began firing at them, except Brick. He just kicked them, really, really hard.

Jack fiddled with his echo device a bit and got Dr. Zed on speaker. "Zed, what's with all the bandits around here? We just cleared them out."

"Uhh, yup, looks like you got on Nine-Toes bad side, don't worry, he'll get his." Dr. Zed called over to them on Jack's echo.

"You did it! I knew you could. Oh…! That poor little robot needs our help. Would you kindly give him a hand? " Angel sympathetically requested of them, on her strange method of communication.

"Okay, I'm not just going crazy, right?" Lilith had to ask. "You guys can see her too?"

"Everyone can see her." Jack reassured her. "Of course, I'm not sure that means you aren't crazy…"

Lilith playfully punched him in the shoulder. "Ass. But seriously, you know who she is?"

"Yeah, she works with me." He explained, to receive a round of shock once more. "Is that really a surprise? I had a little talent scouting before I went recruiting, think I mentioned that before."

"So, what is she?" Roland asked, curious. "An AI or some sort of advanced mainframe?"

Handsome Jack waved his hand in a kinda, sorta way, before shrugging. "Eh, close enough, I made her a long time ago, and she's been helping me out for a while. Of course, she's not really a machine to me, not like this guy anyway." He reminded everyone with a small kick to Claptrap.

Claptrap whines in pain, reaching an arm up to the digital heavens. "I can see the code. It's so amazing"

"I should probably check on him now, shouldn't I?" Jack asked, looking displeased.

"Only if you want to open the gate." Lilith pointed out cheekily.

Jack groaned. "Fine, just give me a second." He tinkered with Claptrap for a moment, inspecting many of his parts carefully.

"That little robot is hurt. He isn't going to last very long without attention. Why don't you look around for something to fix him up?" Angel suggested, worried

"On my God, I'm leaking! I think I'm leaking! Aaahhh, I'm leaking! There's oil everywhere." Claptrap screams pitifully, rolling around theatrically on the ground.

Jack rolled his eyes. "Calm down, you'll be fine. Hey Lil, think you could grab a repair kit, for me? So, we can, you know? Leave."

Lilith chuckled. "I'm on it."

She left to pick one she saw left on a bench a couple of houses down, and heard Brick ask in the background. "How about us, boss, what can we do?"

"You know much about robotic engineering?" Jack asked him curiously.

"Nope." Brick answered bluntly.

"Then just stand there and look pretty, big guy."

Brick laughed. "You got it, boss."

Lilith smirked to herself, as she came back with the repair kit. Jack spotted her and gave a playful applause as she lifted it up victorious. "Lo and behold, the conquering hero, sent to fetch the mechanical holy grail. A thousand blessings upon her and her name, and may she forever, yadda, yadda, yadda. Gimme." He requested after he finished playing around.

"Alas, I have done all I can." Lilith bemoaned teasingly, handing Jack the kit. "I now leave it in your hands, dear wizard. Heal him in your uh, sorcerous ways."

"I aim to, Lady Lilith." He retorted, opening the kit, and began the repairs. He tightened a few screws, replaced some burnt wiring, and judiciously applied a little duct tape. Soon enough, Claptrap is back on his feet- or rather his wheel.

"Whew! Good as new! I think… Am I leaking?" Claptrap asks curiously, but not worried.

"You're fine." Handsome Jack deadpans. "Now Claptrap, can you please open the gate.

"Okay! Thank you again, my friend." Claptrap gets a little emotional at the end, clearly mortifying Jack as he tries to give him a hug.

Jack does his best to refuse, but is forced to reluctantly accept it, to the Vault Hunters growing amusement. "Yeah, don't mention it. Seriously, don't." As Claptrap leaves, Jack takes a second to contact his ally. "You happy, Angel?" He asks a bit bitterly.

"Yes, thank you." Angel answered genuinely if a bit smugly.

Handsome Jack must have heard it too. "You know, one of these days, you're gonna ask me for something, and I'm gonna say no."

"Oh, really." Angel questions him challengingly, and amused.

"It could happen." Jack defends himself, weakly. "Nevermind, let's just go."

Claptrap opens the gate and celebrates with dancing. "Thank you for visiting Fyrestone! Farewell travelers, friends and be sure to say 'hello' to all the friendly Claptraps that await you on Pandora!" He sends them off cheerfully. "I shall now continue my fascinating research on the wondrous properties of sand!"

"Oh, that friggin dance directive." Jack muttered annoyed. "When I'm running Hyperion, I'm wiping that function off of every single machine. Seriously, was De Quidt high when he made that?"

"Who?" Mordecai asked, glancing over at Jack.

He just sighed. "Forget it, doesn't matter. C'mon, let's go kill the skags, so Zed can give us a lead or something."

They headed out past the gates, and sure enough just across the road, there were three skag dens. Lilith really wondered how these people got any visitors. Five skags in particular didn't look so happy to see them.

"Don't worry," Mordecai aimed his rifle, Bloodwing taking to the skies. "We got this." He fired five precise shots, waiting for Bloodwing to get them where he wanted them. They fell down, with strange snarls, and a loud thud. Then Mordecai brought up his Echo. "How 'bout it? Are we good?"

"Yup, that ought to do it. Come on back!" Dr. Zed replied.

"Nice work, bird guy." Brick congratulated him. Mordecai stared at him for a second, and he added. "You too Bloodwing." Mordecai continued to stare.

"Yeah, that's the downside with masks, huh?" Handsome Jack taunted. "Hard to glare at people. Well for you anyway." He corrected, with a wave to his own mask. "My mask can show expressions just fine. Look!" He smiled smugly. "You see that? It's-ow!"

Jack was interrupted, by Bloodwing taking a nip at his finger, this time with Mordecai smiling. "Yeah, pendejo. Looks like pain."

Jack made to argue but sighed. "Fair enough, let's go get our reward, yeah?"

...

"I guess those skags didn't give you much trouble, eh? You clearly know who to handle a gun, that's good, real good. You're gonna need it, 'cause I've got somethin' else for you to help me with." Dr. Zed complimented us, before pointing us towards another job.

I honestly don't remember these missions feeling so tedious. "Cool, you know who else could use some help? US!" I reminded him, getting a little frustrated.

Dr. Zed waved his hand, as if they would dispel my worries. Maybe he thought it would, he wasn't exactly a great doctor. "I know, I know you're looking for the Vault, but I told you, I don't know where it is."

"But you know who does." I point out, feeling a tad annoyed at the repetitiveness.

"I know who might." Dr. Zed corrected, rubbing his forehead. "That bandit chief who's been giving you folk some trouble, he's been bragging lately about how his boss found a Vault Key."

I took a few calming breaths. "Okay, that's helpful. Where's his boss?" I ask more politely.

Dr. Zed shrugged. "I dunno."

I was instantly annoyed and frowned again. "Don't give me that, you told us these bandits have been giving you trouble for a while. You never looked into leadership?"

"I picked up on a few things here and there, but I only really paid attention when they came to bother Fyrestone personally." He defended himself.

"Okay, fine. But his boss is here, right?" I asked, indicating the Arid Badlands.

Dr. Zed shrugged. "I dunno."

I was on the brink of exploding when Roland put a hand on my shoulder. "We'll just ask Nine-Toes." He assured me calmly, before turning to the Doctor. "Do you know where he is?"

Dr. Zed shook his head, but quickly added. "I know who does."

Roland nodded. "And where is he?"

"Just outside of town." Zed directed, pointing a finger. "But if you and your buddies want to get to him, you're gonna need a shield."

"I got one." I spoke up, as the rest of them just stood there, and I reluctantly offered. "I'll pay for their shields."

"Well that's awfully kind of ya." Dr. Zed praised, before kicking the Vending Machine in his garage. "Problem is, my vendor's broke, took a bullet during the raid. Good news is it just needs a power coupling."

I sighed. "And the bad news?" I asked cynically.

"Well, there's a vendor we can scavenge parts from, but the bad news is, it's down the road down the road east. With all the skags and bandits crawlin' out there, I haven't gone to get it, but if you can get those parts for me, I can fix 'er up in no time." He finished confidently.

I glanced at my assembled four-man army of badasses, and nevertheless felt the need to ask. "Do you guys have this?"

Brick cracks his knuckles, Roland cracks his neck, Mordecai cracks a smile, and Lilith cracks a wink. "Yeah, we got this."

"Okay." I take a second to admire them. "You guys get the power coupling." I instruct, before reaching into my pockets, and pulling out a small stack of hundreds, and casually toss it to Lilith, to her surprise. "And get yourselves something nice. I'll go find our "bandit expert"."

On that note, I left on my way to talk to T.K. Baha, not that they know that. Overall, it's been an easy day, but a trying one, so many repetitive tasks, I hate tutorials.

"Mr. Jack! Sir, you're back!" Claptrap happily exclaims, rolling up the second he spotted me.

I really hate tutorials.

...

Surprise! I know, I said I'd post this by the 23rd, but I'm at 4,000 words already, and I'm barely at half of where I wanted this chapter to lead, so I'm posting this part early. I'll probably add the next part on the 23rd, maybe.

Also, no need to fear, polls not over yet!

You might've noticed Lilith being a bit flirty, but that's more to do with me representing her character, then outright giving her the role. Though she is currently winning.

The whole pole is actually at:

Lilith: 8

Moxxi: 5

Ellie: 1

Still anyone's game!

But yeah, two days left.

Anyways, onto Reviews!

Wajfu321: Are you talking about the Borderlands Origins comics? I read Lilith's and Mordecai's and got the cliff notes on Roland and Brick. There was actually some pretty cool backstory to them, though I might make a few small alterations depending on how things go.

I also like where Roland and Lilith got together in Borderlands 2, but that was kind of bittersweet because they've already broken up. It looked like they might get back together, but then Roland died. So that was a bit awkward…

On that note, do you guys think I should write a way to kill Roland off, in the second game? I don't particularly want to, but I am trying to toe the line between what happened cannon, to the alterations I'm making.

To Ascandas: Well if he was going to be a good guy, he had to be honest. I'm not really sure why he felt the need to trick them in the first place, they probably would've done it anyway, just without as much passion. It'd be like saying you would have gotten a billion dollars for killing Nine-Toes, they would have done it for $20, but because you lied to them, they're super pissed.

Verycoolname: Ditto!

Coldsan: To answer your question, yes. In the most exciting, and bizarre way my unimaginative mind can process.

Darth Valkorion: (I know that reference! I played SWTOR.) I'm much the same, and I agree, in every Borderlands game I played I always enjoyed her interaction. Except for the telltale one. Let's be real, how cool would it have been if Lilith interrogated them instead of Loader bot?

CLA'S Profile: Well I'm glad you got the chance to read, I try to constantly write so that the muse doesn't leave me. And yeah, he's already made some game changers that's gonna leave a profound difference on the universe. Unless I want to copy stuff and twist it from the other games.

Could be a problem when we finally get to Borderlands 2, still gonna need a new main antagonist, I was thinking I might make it Tassiter somehow, but I'm always open to suggestions.

Please, follow, favorite, and review!

Until Next Time

P.S. I'm doing a new playthrough of the first game, for some bonus accuracy in my writing, doesn't Roland seem like he got a lot grumpier in the next games? I'm retconning that now if you were wondering.