Chapter 8 Catch-A-Skag!

"Is that him?" Lilith asked her boss, as they neared the shack.

"Yup, that's our guy." Handsome Jack told her, looking displeased at the man's state.

"He looks passed out." Roland remarked.

He definitely did, slouched oddly in his chair, hugging a shotgun to his chest like a teddy bear. T.K. wore some tacky striped pants, and strange goggles, making him look a little ridiculous. Not that it would matter too much to him.

If there was one thing blind people didn't care for it was appearances… and people who made of them for being blind.

"Or dead." Brick noted, looking skeptically at the blind man.

"I don't think he's dead." Mordecai disagreed.

"You don't know." Brick argued, childishly.

"Look, Jack said he talked to him earlier, right?" Mordecai paused as he looked to their boss for verification and got a nod in return. "It's not like he would have just dropped dead in the time it took for us to walk over here."

They all waited a moment, and T.K. still didn't move.

"I think he might be dead, you guys." Mordecai changed his opinion, flippantly.

Lilith rolled her eyes. "Old men sleep. A lot. That's what old men do, it's part of what they're known for."

"You don't know!" Mordecai fell back to Brick's argument.

Lilith sighed and turned to Roland, the rational one of their group. "You don't think he's dead, do you?"

Roland shrugged. "Only one way to find out."

"He's right." Jack agreed, looking serious. "Brick, go get a really long stick."

Roland turned to Jack, confused. "What?"

"We need to find out if he's dead." Jack said, like it was obvious.

"Yeah, so why do we need a stick?" Roland asked, bewildered.

"So, we can poke his body from a safe range." Jack explained. "He's got a shotgun, not a sniper rifle. We poke him from far enough away, and we'll be fine."

"That's… not what I had in mind." Roland spoke slowly, trying to find fault in Jack's logic.

Handsome Jack raised an eyebrow but seemed willing to humor him. "Okay, what do you want to do."

Roland simply raised his right hand to show the lead stopper he'd been holding.

Jack actually looked a little disappointed. "Oh." He even seemed to deflate. "Yeah, sure. I guess that could work too. Less fun and all, but uh, feel free."

Lilith seemed inclined to agree. "I like Jack's plan better, this one feels dumb." She voiced her opinion, raising Jack's spirits, and lowering Roland's.

"And what would you suggest?" Roland questioned, feeling inclined to defend his own plan.

"Well, I could just walk up to the guy and tap his shoulder, and then Phasewalk if he shoots. Of course, if you want to go get shot…" She trailed off teasingly.

"Umm, right." Roland hesitantly agreed. "That's a good plan, we should do that." Jack subtly shifted himself behind Roland and gave her a thumbs up.

Lilith smirked at the guys, then carefully approached T.K., and cautiously tapped him on the shoulder. "Excuse me-"

"Cripes!" T.K. startled, firing awake, by firing his shotgun.

"Crap." It was only because of years of practice, resourcefulness, and knee jerk reactions that prevented her from getting blown back at point blank range. Phasewalking at the last possible second, the shot went right through her intangible form.

"Agkk!" ... and right into Roland, who had no such defense. Well other than the vest and shield that saved his life, though sadly in this case, not his dignity.

Mordecai and Brick broke out laughing at the poor soldier's misfortune. Even Jack gave a few chuckles as he stood over their downed teammate. "Ha, you alright, kiddo?" Jack asked him between breaths.

Roland gasped in pain. "You knew that would happen." He accused.

"Maybe." Handsome Jack drawled, offering a hand to the fallen soldier, who reluctantly took it.

Lilith didn't feel keen on taking chances after that, snatching the old man's weapon away from him. "No more shotgun!" She scolded him, like a mother taking away her kid's toys for misbehaving.

"You won't take me alive, you heartless beast!" T.K. fought in vain against an enemy only his blind eyes could see. Waving his arms, and pulling at hair, until Lilith managed to calm down.

"I can't breathe… I can't breathe." Mordecai "complained", wheezing through his giggles. "I will laugh about this forever."

Brick grunted in agreement, as Roland's glare assured he would murder the both of them. Jack patted the man on the shoulder, as he walked up to talk to the old man. "Hey, T.K."

"Ohhh." T.K. sighed in relief. "It's Jack right? Whatcha doing back here? Did you get Nine-Toes?"

"It's Handsome Jack." He reminded T.K. "And yes, we killed him, but that's not why we're here. I'm ready to help you out with that favor of yours, if you're willing to do one for us."

"Well, sure." T.K. agreed kindly. "If you can help me avenge my wife, leg, and eyes, I'll do just about anything."

That… that was a lot to unpack. It didn't help that T.K. was smiling the whole time. "Ah, okay then… Who do we need to kill?" Lilith asked hesitatingly.

At this, T.K. frowned. "Scar." He answered vehemently.

"And uh, who's Scar?" Jack questioned, the eyebrow on his mask raising in confusion.

"Oh, he's a skag." T.K. answered seemingly nonchalant. "He killed my wife a while back and ate my leg. Zed made me a prosthetic one, so I tried to kill him, but skar just ate that one too, and also blinded me. Also, that reminds me if you see my fake leg, could you get it for me?"

"Uh huh." Jack agreed absentmindedly. "So, where can we find-"

"Are you sure you want us to do this?" Roland interrupted, gazing at T.K. sympathetically.

"Pretty sure, yes." T.K. didn't miss a beat. "After everything that monster took from me, killing him is the least I can do in return."

"I lost people I cared about too." Roland emphasized. "We were betrayed, and I hunted the man who did it for a long time, looking for revenge."

"Did you get it?"

"Revenge isn't the same as peace." Roland warned. "It won't fill the hole they left behind. It just makes a deeper hole."

"But did you get it?" T.K. asked ignoring the soldier's warning.

"Yes." Roland answered after a pause. "It didn't help though. Maybe I gave my team the justice they deserved, maybe I stopped him from hurting anyone else. But I didn't do it for anyone else, I did it for me. And I'm telling you, it doesn't help. The people we cared about they're still gone, avenging them won't change that."

"I know." T.K. spoke solemnly, but optimistically. "But if just for once, I can think about my Marian without seeing that monster's face, that'd be enough for me."

Lilith looked at the others and saw that they felt as much empathy as she had. They would do it, she was just the first to say it. "We'll kill him." She promised.

…

"That… is one big skag." I remark anxiously as we gazed down on the spiked monster. Call me crazy, but I'm fairly certain that T.K.'s sword is still lodged through part of its face. How is this thing even alive?

Didn't exactly make me hopeful about are chances of killing it.

"That ain't a skag, amigo. It's a small mountain." Mordecai corrected, looking as worried as I was.

"What, like a hill?" Brick asked Mordecai, not quite understanding metaphors,

"What?"

"You said it was a small mountain." Brick shrugged. "That's a hill. I could kill a hill. No big deal."

"Loving that confidence, Dr. Seuss." I said, looking at Brick humorously. "You wanna come up with the plan of attack this time?"

Brick ginned and slapped a fist against his palm. "I got it. We hit it… until it dies!" He explained excitedly, looking to us for approval.

I blink for a couple of moments. "Okay, uh good plan. Solid plan, but let's just put that on the backburner for right now." I suggest diplomatically, before turning to Roland. "How about you?"

Roland looked thoughtful for a minute or two, before sighing. "I got nothing."

I tried not to groan. "Great. Does anyone have a plan?" Lilith alone raised her hand, well Brick did too, but I'm not counting "punch it until it dies" as a viable strategy. "Yes, Ms. Lilith."

"Well, Mr. Jack," Lilith rolled her eyes, but she was still smiling. "You could send out some of your… what are they called? Holodoubles or something?"

"Expendable assets." I answer, with a small smile. "I like that though, mind if I borrow it?"

"Sure, anyways, you send them out, and get Scar's attention. Roland can provide covering fire, and Brick can help you move them into position. I want you guys to lure him to the cliff, and once he's there we can knock him off."

"Already sounds better than Brick's plan." Mordecai smirked. "I'm in. Whaddya want me to do, girly?" Lilith leaned in to whisper something to Mordecai's ear. I didn't catch what she said, but whatever it was Mordecai didn't seem to care for it. "Can we go back to Brick's plan?"

"Nah." I denied, taking a small amount of pleasure at the panic Mordecai was developing. "I like it! You can take point Lil, let's make it happen."

Lilith smiled at me, before continuing. "When I say go, we move out… Go!"

And like that, we were off.

Now I probably had one of the easiest jobs, didn't mean I was out of harm's way. My job is to get the attention of the large, seemingly unkillable monster, and have him follow me. Or better yet, make the Digi Me's and Brick do it.

Let's try that. "Hey roadkill!" I taunted the ferocious, and legitimately terrifying monster. "Come get…" I paused, throwing out the expendable assets, so we could finish in harmony. "All of me."

They're friendly fire protocols kicked in, and they bombarded the monster over and over with lasers, though it only seemed to piss Scar off. Considering I've seen my boys take out Nine-Toes, and his skags, in half the effort, this was mildly alarming.

"Raaghhh!" Brick yelled in a battle cry, as he threw himself into the fight. Helping me near Scar towards the cliff. Scar tried to chomp Brick in punishment, but a few shots from Roland quickly discouraged him.

"Over here, boy!" I had the Digi-Jack's bait the beast, as it neared the cliff even more. Scar sliced right through one of them, turning him into a digital mess of code and pixels. Scar ignored the other, in favor of glaring at me.

It tried to attack but halted as it was assaulted by a wave of electricity from behind. In all her beautiful, siren glory, Lilith had appeared. "Sup." She offered the beast in greeting.

"Raaghhh!" It replied in return.

I'll admit, I don't know too much about animal emotions. But if I were a betting man, then I'd guess Scar was feeling pretty peeved.

It attempted to pounce on Lilith, probably an effort to tear her apart with his fangs and claws. But Lilith, being Lilith, Phasewalked at the last possible second. Sending the beast through her, and off of the cliff.

"Mordecai!" Lilith called in impatience.

"Shiiiit!" Mordecai cried, as he leaped towards Skar from an upper cliff.

When did he get there?

Why do I continue letting my employees do mostly whatever they want?

These are questions that I will not answer. Why, you may ask. Simple, because for most given situations, I really, really don't care.

Now back to the fight, yeah? Mordecai had just followed through on Lilith's plan for him to jump off of a cliff, like an idiot, and use his sword to stab a vicious man eating monster at close range. I'm not sure why he agreed to that plan, and I also don't care. As I might've mentioned.

Either way, it's kind of worked.

Lilith made her way down to the dying beast, this time it had two swords lodged in it, and had fallen from a considerable height. If any of us tried that, we would've probably gone splat.

Really glad I installed the fall recall for the Fast Travel.

Lilith grabbed hold of both swords, pulled them out, and glared at Skar menacingly. And stabbed him in the brain.

Wow.

"That was… badass!" I cheered her on, as I slid down the canyon to her level. I pointed a finger at her, in astonishment. "You… you're awesome! Did you know that?"

She raised the swords in victory, before bowing theatrically at my praise. "It's been said, yes." Lilith answered, her tone full of amusement. "And shall this dashing heroine get a reward?"

"I should think so!" I agreed happily, still reeling from amazement. "What do you want?"

Lilith dropped the swords and marched up to me cockily. Grabbing hold of my vest, she pulled me towards her, and smirked. "I can think of a thing or two." She said, before kissing me.

It was… I'm sorry. My mind shut down, I- I'm speechless. That's never happened before. As she draws away from me to breathe, I try to gather my senses. "Was that the thing?" I asked, voicing the first thought that wouldn't mortify me.

"Nope." Lilith answered cheekily. "I just wanted to do it."

"I see." I replied, after a moment. But I really didn't. "Can we do it again?"

Lilith chuckled, before giving me a smile, and a wink. "Maybe, now come on. Buy a girl a car."

…

"You done, yet?" I asked Scooter, thankfully he wasn't too far from Fyrestone, otherwise we would have needed to take Marcus's bus.

"Just about, man." Scooter answered in a hillbilly accent. Hillbillies in space... what has my life become? "Still gotta fix a few crossed wires, a busted manifold, a-"

"Cool." I interrupt him, completely disinterested in the nuances and expertise of mechanical engineering. At least, when it wasn't mine.

Say what you will about Scooter, he may be a hillbilly, loud, obnoxious, more than slightly incestuous, homicidal at times… where was I going with this? He's a great mechanic, and a (moderately) good person.

He was more endearing then Claptrap at any rate.

"Mr. Jack!" Speaking of the robotic devil…

"Yes, Claptrap?" I asked with a sigh.

"I must insist! You NEED my help! I can show you all where the headstone mine is!" Claptrap argued his case, greatly desiring the chance to come along.

"Big deal, I bet every local knows. Hey Scooter, you know where the headstone mine is?" I asked, looking down at the oil stained mechanic.

"Nope." Scooter answered helpfully.

"Okay, bad example." I amended. "But that still doesn't mean you can come. Besides, if even we wanted you." Kind of like wanting a tumor. "There's no room."

"You could always strap me to the back of the car." Claptrap suggested. "Like a bike!"

"You're a lot heavier than a bike." I pointed out. "There's no way that would work, right Scooter?"

"Nah, it would." Scooter denied.

"I'm gonna stop asking you stuff, Scooter."

"Sorry!"

"So, can I come?!" Claptrap asked excitedly, looking at me in what I'm assuming is a hopeful expression. Still hard to tell, he has a robot face… which is also his body.

I wanted to reject him, but I couldn't think of a good reason. And honestly, we'd need a guide if we wanted to get to Sledge. I prepared myself to grant a soul crushing permission, when the door to Scooter garage burst open.

"Aha!" Marcus laughed triumphantly. "The bus works! I can take you and your friends anywhere you need to go, for a modest fee, of course. No need to wait any longer."

I sighed and made to deny the arms dealer/bus drivers offer, when a wickedly wonderful thought occurred to me. I gazed back at the Claptrap, then back at Marcus. "Any of my friends?"

"Of course, you have my guarantee!"

At the moment, all I offered Marcus, was a small insidious smile.

…

"God damnit." Marcus gave a large groan, as he turned the key into the ignition.

"This is gonna be so much fun!" Claptrap shouted enthused.

…

Hello Travelers!

Welcome back to an all new chapter, brought to you by the Hyperion Corporation!

I would have posted it sooner… But I didn't because reasons. I'd like to start off by saying thanks to all the reviewers out there, you really make a guy feel appreciated!

There was a weird delay, which is why I couldn't have seen them until today, but now I have, and I'm very happy to respond to them!

Allthingsconsidered99: Thank you! That's the general plan, and yeah, they're a primarily military trained company, not as much as Dahl, but still considerable. They're gonna get a better rep before they get their asses kicked.

Ascandas: Pretty much the same way they did in the game… but at least it can be a nice, touching moment, when he reveals that to them. And not shocking, and traumatizing like it happened originally.

Verycoolname: Thanks, I try my best. These characters weren't created by me, but having played as and with them, it's steadily getting easier to write their dialogue appropriately.

CLA's Profile: Was the meet and greet a bit of a letdown? I admit, not my best first attempt, but he'll make a few more appearances via echo in the next chapters. I really like his character too, but I feel as though it was better portrayed in the future games.

Rest assured, he won't get killed off this time around.

Coldsan: Always. Wishing you well too.

BohemianRhapsody (And also KillerQueen too I suspect, Queen rules.): That… is a lot to unpack… I love it. Let's start at chapter 1 for you.

Chapter 1: I never did clarify how he died, I want to leave it ambiguous, so as to bring it up in a future chapter. As for his knowledge of the series, all the way up to Borderland 3 Psycho dlc, but only from the games. Not a great in depth knowledge of the lore, that'll be for me (and audiences like you, to think about.)

And yes, the shrapnel shredded up his face, and killed OG Jack, hence why the new one's there. But Jack 2.0 still has the old one's feelings, and is slowly gaining his memory, so he's got that paternal connection to Angel, thus creating a better bond between them.

Chapter 2: Yeah, I mentioned it in chapter 7 to wave away concerns, but I definitely like to remind people, that while this is a self-insert, he's also still Jack. His newfound emotions will help him with survival, but he'll have to learn to cope with them.

He won't actually go crazy, but I added scenes like this, and what happened at the end of Chapter 5, as a reminder, that it's a struggle for him. Handsome Jack may have been turned into the monster we knew him as at the end of Borderlands 2, but everyone could see that he was always kind of dark.

As for my misspelling, sorry, my apologies, I wrote it right successfully once, but Word disagreed, and I mindlessly, and falsely "corrected" many of them. Should be fixed now.

As for Wainwright, he exists. He was at the funeral scene that I didn't write, don't worry you'll hear from him much later on.

Chapter 3: I wish I had done as much research as you, when I wrote that chapter. It could've been much more meaningful, but Jack teaches her to embrace and control her powers. Helping her along a safe, but freeing path.

Chapter 4: The New-U wasn't ever going to stay as a feasible item in the Borderlands universe, not only because I despise it in game. Eating away my money on something that isn't even cannon. But nonetheless, it was attempted.

Handsome Jack, hero, inventor, Vault Hunter, and genius, trillionaire, playboy, philanthropist. He'll be playing things differently this time around. Hopefully, his Fragtrap will be more useful, and less annoying this time around.

Chapter 5: "I promised myself that day, that if I ever came back to Pandora, it would be to burn it all down" It's something I imagined the original Jack might've felt, and will continue to be a strong motivation in his pursuit of ridding Pandora of bandits.

I've already gotten a gradual grasp of how I can toe the line with the second game. But thanks, you've given me some pretty great feedback, and all props to you, if I can make it happen.

Having him make his own enemies seems very characteristic of him, and likely to happen. Yes, I am familiar with Chaos Theory, I played "life is strange", and it really brought the point home.

Chapter 6: When I said he was working with the best, I meant it. They're not the best of the best, but they've done pretty well. Certainly, a cut above quite a few of the residents on Pandora.

Chapter 7: Well I won't have Jack 2.0 personally kill Fragtrap, so it'll be moderately more positive.

And I hate to be that guy, but let's be real Atlas was pretty corrupt. They never showed half as much ruthlessness as Handsome Jack, or Tyreen, can't wait for them to meet, but that's why those two were better villains.

I'd say just about all companies, barring Jakobs (despite their backwards views on Truxicans) and future Atlas, were almost entirely corrupt from the top.

Were the middle guys that bad? No, probably not, that's why a lot of the crimson lance became the crimson raiders, except for the ones who became bandits. But regardless, they willingly obeyed malevolent orders.

Moving on to Angels age. As a general estimate, because I am aware of the five year difference, I'd say she is about late 12 to early 13. We never got specific details, other than she was either in her young 20s, or late teenage years by the end of Borderlands 2, so I'm saying she's 18.

It's for reasons I won't get into right now, but if you recheck chapter 2, and think a lot about some of the lore, you could probably guess.

As for why she's giving a child-like vibe… have you ever played Bioshock Infinite? She's kind of like Elizabeth from that, sheltered and filled with wonder. Never too old to be a child at heart.

This went on for a while, didn't it?

Regardless I hope it answered you all in all the detail you'd like, if not, feel free to ask me more about it in the reviews.

To everybody out there, please Follow, Favorite, and Review!

I promise I'll answer.