Disclaimer: This story is based off of the characters written by Stephanie Meyer in the Twilight Saga. I do not own any of these characters.

Bella

Jacob spent quite some time explaining things to me, beginning with how sick he'd gotten after the movie. It felt so much farther away than it was, like it was months ago rather than weeks.

He'd barely made it home that night, as he was having trouble focusing on the road and had to pull over several times on the way there. Then when he had finally made it, Sam was there waiting for him. That had been the final straw, his frustration with losing his friend to Sam's gang, and all the stigma about how perfect Sam was. Then, the way he was so fixated on Jacob, all that rage built up and pushed him over the edge. That was the first time he took his wolf form.

He tried to explain as best he could what it felt like, how afraid he had been and how Sam calmed him down and explained what was going on. He'd only spent a couple hours as a wolf before he understood, and could get himself to calm down enough, to "phase back". He gloated a little about how much easier it was for him to control himself than it was for the others, and then explained that his great grandfather had been the Alpha of the last known pack for the tribe. That control and leadership were in his blood. He also explained that before seeing me, he had every intention of denying his claim as Alpha, simply because it was unfair that he'd had no choice to become a werewolf.

This wasn't something that was hard for me to wrap my head around. I vaguely remembered the legends he'd told me that day at the beach. That their tribe descended from wolves. It all made perfect sense to me, and it all felt very right.

Then I remembered the face of the wolf in the meadow, the one who had stopped to watch me. I could see that it had been Jacob, that his concern for me was what made him stay behind.

I asked him briefly about why, after the first time, he didn't call me. He told me that it was still incredibly hard to control himself, through that first week especially. He still felt sick, and nearly everything set him off. He slept a lot, as phasing took a lot out of him. He really had been home or in bed most of the time, only at night did he stay in wolf form.

He also told me that he had a hard time wanting to talk to me because I'd lied to him about Edward, and about how much I knew. He was hurt because he felt like I'd tricked him into telling me about the legends of the cold ones. He felt used, and I didn't blame him, because I had used him.

But most of all, he was upset that he couldn't tell me his secret. He had been instructed not to explain things to me because I was an outsider, and to many of them I was an enemy. In the eyes of the pack, I was what they called a "leech lover" and couldn't be trusted. All of that was too hard for Jacob to deal with, he didn't want to lie to me, so it was easier for him to just not talk to me. Again, I understood.

What I couldn't understand was why they were offering a treaty to me - one that protected humans - when he and his pack were killing hikers themselves. Jacob wasn't happy with me calling him a hypocrite. He was irritated and even a little disappointed that I hadn't linked the disappearances to Laurent.

In retrospect, I probably should have. But it wasn't as though I had a lot of experience with vampires who hunted humans. I knew that it was what was considered normal for my species, but it wasn't normal for the ones I had known well.

Jacob's recap of the last couple weeks took over an hour. He told me everything right up to when I'd opened my eyes.

The part that seemed to surprise me the most was how quickly and easily he and his pack had taken care of Laurent. Though Jake thought it was something I shouldn't have been surprised with at all.

He didn't understand how I could be so nonchalant about him being a werewolf and so incredulous about him and his pack killing a vampire.

I tried to explain that though it probably should have been a shock to me, but that it just seemed natural that he was also supernatural. I also had to explain that I had seen what vampires could do, so it was hard for me to picture them being torn apart. Especially now that I was here, a vampire, and could feel my own strength.

I brushed over the fact that I had been hunted by a very powerful tracker last year and I understood just how difficult it was for one to die. Which launched into an entirely new conversation as I explained the real reason I had left Forks last year. I told him each gory detail about the ballet studio, and what Edward had done to save my life.

Jacob hadn't been excited to hear me speak about Edward in such a positive way, actually he seemed a little amazed I could speak about him at all without falling apart. That was odd to me too, but I refused to dwell on it now.

Much to Jacob's dismay, he admitted that he felt a little twinge of respect for Edward knowing the lengths he went to in order to keep me human. He still called him an idiot for leaving, especially considering it hadn't helped me stay out of harms way in the slightest. Jacob and I shared a bitter laugh, and I was again grateful to have him here with me.

We circled back to the killing of Laurent and - though it was odd to be having such a casual conversation about what some would consider murder - I thanked him for destroying him.

He asked me questions about if Laurent had a mate, and I told him no. That he had traveled in a coven with two other vampires, James and Victoria, who were mates, but that he had not been with anyone. Then I remembered what Laurent had said about Victoria, and how she wanted me dead. "Mate for mate" he'd told me. I scoffed at the idea, Edwards position on that front was clear, I was not mate worthy.

Jacob caught that reaction, and I had to explain myself.

It was unlikely Edward would be upset about her killing me, but I doubt she knew that. Since Laurent wouldn't be able to let her know exactly what she was up against, it would be much harder for her to now. Not only that, but if she were to come after me here, I was much harder to kill as a vampire, and I would have wolves on my side. Jacob seemed excited to talk about that more, but I wanted to push that to another time, there were more pressing matters to be discussed.

Charlie matters.

*

Speaking about Charlie was rough, I had put him through so much since living here. I thought about when I'd come home from the hospital in Phoenix. He'd welcomed me back, and had already seemed to forgive me, probably because of the state I came back in. But I knew I needed to make it right, so I sat him down in the living room and apologized. I couldn't explain everything to him, so instead I told him I had been panicking. That I needed space away from Forks to figure out what I wanted.

I told him that I was starting to really like Forks, and that fact scared me, but I handled it in the worst possible way. Most of that he already knew, based on what I had said to him. But I told him anyway, and then I continued to apologize profusely. I got up earlier every day to make sure I could make him breakfast, even if it was just something to go on his work days.

I even went fishing with him once, wanting him to know that I really did feel terrible for hurting him. He told me not to offer again, that even though he liked that I wanted to spend more time with him, we would need to find something else to do.

We hadn't ever figured out what that other thing would be, before Edward left, and turned my life around again.

I swallowed the grief I felt and let the guilt sink heavily on my shoulders.

Jacob started carefully explaining what was going on with Charlie. The day he found me, Sam went to Charlie and told him they found my truck, and no sign of me. He told Charlie about Jacob and I searching for a meadow out that way and that I must have been out there on my own looking for it since Jacob was still sick.

Charlie hadn't taken the news well, but Jacob didn't want to give me too many details, thinking it better that I didn't know the extent of it. He didn't want me going to try and make things better myself. Jacob reminded me that they did this because they weren't sure if I would abide by the treaty, and that he knew I wasn't sure I could either. Not only that, but I was so different now that coming back might make things worse. It would be hard for Charlie, and hard for me. But this was the best option for the circumstance.

A few hours after the shock of the news, Charlie spoke to several people in town and organized search parties. Sam offered to take several of the responsibilities so that Charlie wouldn't have to worry about so much at once.

Search parties had been lead in every direction, people looked for me day and night using the maps Jacob and I had used while we had been searching for the meadow. Shifts were organized so people didn't get too tired, and each search party sent in this area included Sam or one of the members of the pack, to make sure no one but the wolves investigated the Cullen's house.

Jacob had taken shifts with Embry to watch me while he went home, posing as still incredibly sick when Charlie had visited the reservation. They didn't want any suspicion from Charlie as to why Jacob wasn't helping with the searches. There were a lot of parts to the madness of keeping me hidden.

Charlie had gone over thirty-six hours without sleep before Billy called and told him he needed to sleep or he'd come to town and knock Charlie out himself. Everyone was doing everything they could, Charlie was planning on putting up missing persons posters. He was going tomorrow to Seattle to give my picture to the Seattle PD and every town along the way.

Jake had tried to get his dad to reason with Charlie about it, but after discussing things more they decided it would be best if they let Charlie do it his way.

Billy went to the house this morning with Sam to try and at least convince Charlie to halt nighttime searches. It had been three days since I disappeared and they hadn't found any sign of me. Charlie was reluctant but eventually agreed that would probably be best, knowing that whatever he thought had taken me from him - still believing it to be bears - wasn't something he wanted other people to face in the forest at night.

The lump in my throat was much harder to handle than the burn of thirst. I wanted to cry, to be able to let some of the guilt and the pain out. I wanted to go to Charlie, to tell him I was alright. But that would just make things worse, if I didn't kill him right then, he would have just gone through hell for no reason. Then sometime soon, he would have to go through something like this all over again.

I knew Jacob was right, that this was the best option. My part had to be staying out of sight and being careful. Eventually I knew I would probably have to leave Forks, but for now I needed to focus on controlling myself and my thirst.

It just didn't seem fair that Charlie had to go through this.

*

Once I was all caught up, we sat there in welcomed silence. I was so focused on all the chaos my change had caused, I hadn't noticed the sound of Embry entering the house. It startled me, and once again I jumped into a defensive pose, teeth barred.

His eyes widened slightly before they shot to Jake. He hadn't moved from the chair, in fact he looked more relaxed than he had through out entire conversation. He leaned back and turned his head in Embry's direction.

"I was just coming to make sure you hadn't gotten eaten." Embry said, his eyes flickered to me.

I grinned bitterly, "Actually you werewolves kind of stink." I told him, which was true. As Jacob and I talked, I realized that the sour smell in the room was the smell of his blood. Though the sound of it pumping through his heart was appealing, the scent was entirely repulsive. It made me feel better that I had no intentions of biting Jacob, but made me worry what human blood would smell like to me. Hopefully, it would be unappealing to me now like it had been while I was human. That would make things easier, but I knew that was likely not the case. So instead I hoped that it wasn't that animal blood smelled so repulsive, because I didn't want any more complications.

Embry and Jacob looked at me, then after a second started laughing.

"You don't smell so good yourself Bells." Jacob said, laughter in his voice. A smile tugged at the corner of my lips. I wanted to laugh, to be able to enjoy a friendly moment. It just fell flat, knowing everything I was putting all these people through.

I knew it was different for them, they had been living through these last few days. Experiencing the hell for what it was, and probably enjoyed the break of amusement. But for me, the news was too fresh, I still needed to process how I felt about everything before I could move to the part where I could appreciate the little things.

I relaxed, but stayed standing, "Jake, I really do need to hunt." I said, pressing my lips together, as I thought about it, my throat burned and I clamped my teeth together. "Do you think it would safe for me to head out soon?"

The sky outside was beginning to darken - which hopefully meant Charlie's search parties would be heading in and I would be safe to hunt without the chance of running into a human.

It was Embry who answered, "There isn't anyone this way but me, Jake, and Jared. I think you should be good. But we could do one more sweep for you if you'd like?" He seemed genuinely happy to help. I nodded to him, and he gave me a small smile as he ducked back out the door.

I looked at Jacob, "Thank you." I said. I wanted to elaborate, but there was so much to thank him for that I didn't know where to start. He stood up.

"Anytime, Bells." He paused, looking like he wanted to walk to me for a hug, instead he turned slowly and headed to the front door. He stopped and looked back at me in the doorway, "You can do this, I know you know that." He smiled his sunshine smile, "I'll come check on you tomorrow," he finished and walked out the door.