Disclaimer: This story is based off of the characters written by Stephanie Meyer in the Twilight Saga. I do not own any of these characters.

Bella

My plan was to wait until the sun had completely set. Even though the pack had made sure no one was in the area, I didn't want to take any chances. Instead I lingered at the Cullen's place, seeing everything from a new perspective. With my new eyesight, the dark didn't blanket things they way it had before. I saw everything in a low lavender tint, but nothing was hidden to me. I could see each detail in any painting or piece of decor throughout the lower level. I remembered the first time I had seen this place, it was so different than anything I'd ever imagined. But with my new eyes, I realized there were so many details I had missed. Granted, most of my gaze had been on Edward the few times I'd visited this house.

I walked slowly through the wide spacious room, not realizing at first that my steps were leading me to the grand piano, Edward's piano. I traced my fingertips lightly over the cover. I stopped at the edge of the keys and paused, I reached out and allowed a finger to press and linger on a key. A singular note echoed through the empty house.

I had not expected the noise to fill me with immediate fury.

Anger ripped through me and without thinking, I picked the corner of the instrument up and dragged it to the front door. I tipped it on it's side and broke off each leg before tossing them out onto the lawn. I straightened my arm out and karate chopped the center of the instrument, it snapped in two. The upper half groaning as it slid sideways and crashed to the floor. There was a hum as the inner strings, which wove across the break down the center stretched trying to hold the thing together. I looked at it frowning, picking the half that had toppled over up, smiling in satisfaction as the strings popped apart, and lobbed it out the door, it crashed onto the grass where the legs lay.

I picked the other half up, and carried it out to the rest of the mess. I squeezed the wood, it groaned and splintered and I dropped what remained in my arms onto the rest. I stomped and kicked through what was left of it, until the pile of wood and metal resembled nothing of the instrument it once was.

When I was done, I went to the front steps and sat down to examine my work from a far, noting that I didn't feel the need to sit as much as it felt like the appropriate thing to do. I stared at my pile of destruction, and my eyes pricked with a low burn. My throat tightened and a sob shook through my chest. Crying in this body was not relieving in the slightest.

I sat there for a few minutes, letting each emotion from the day sink in. It had already felt like the longest day of my existence, and there would be no end to it. I would never sleep, I would never get a mental break from these emotions. Instead I would have to live through them, and hopefully someday move past them.

I stood, frustrated, and walked around to the back of the house. I was ready to head out into the forest. As I walked, I began listening to the depths of the woods around me, playing with how far out I could hear, when I caught sight of my reflection in the wall size windows. Distracted, I walked toward them.

I stared at myself for a long time.

The beautiful, terrifying creature looking back at me was almost unrecognizable. My eyes scanned the foreign figure and I searched desperately for something that resembled Bella Swan but I found almost nothing. The fragile human girl was no where in this reflection. Of course I could see the small physical resemblances; the hair, the slightly disproportionate lips, the shape of her eyes. But the woman who stood in front of me was much more than Bella Swan had ever been.

My eyes locked with this magnificent being, and the strange redness send the ghost of a shiver down my spine. But hidden deep in the crimson color, was the person I'd always wanted to be. I could see the wounds that had shaped me into a shell these last several months. As a human those emotions had crippled me, made me weak and broken. But the pain of loss was much easier for me now.

This body could handle things like that without falling apart. As I stared at myself a smirk pulled at the corner of my lips. I couldn't count the number of times I'd thought my emotional pain would kill me. How many times I'd almost been ripped apart from the inside. But here, I was finally strong enough that no emotion could tear me apart.

It didn't feel like becoming a vampire had fixed me, instead, it felt like was supposed to be a vampire because this body could give me the space I needed to grow outside of all my pain. Outside of my grief.

I was suddenly excited for the life I was set to lead.

I just had to figure out how to hunt first.

*

I was careful to head away from any civilization, creeping quickly but quietly through the forest. I took in short breaths once in a while, checking that there was no sign of any humans.

When I finally felt that I was far enough away that I wouldn't run into another being, I stopped. I tried to remember one of the first days I'd spent with Edward. The first time he'd told me about hunting. I'd asked him why I couldn't be there while he hunted, and he told me as vampires, you surrendered yourself to your instincts and let those guide the hunt.

That all made a lot of sense back then, but now, it felt a little silly. I had no idea what it meant to let go and follow my instincts. For as long as I could remember I'd been the one in control. I was the voice of reason, the responsible one. Letting go was not in my nature, and I wasn't even sure how to start.

I finally allowed myself a deep breath, it was getting later and later. I couldn't put this off any longer, or I would have to wait another day to be able to hunt. I wasn't sure if that was something I could even do, let alone something I wanted to do.

I closed my eyes, and inhaled again. I listened to the sounds of the nighttime forest life. I inhaled deep and pushed my hearing outward. I continued like this for a few moments, until I heard the sounds of a few fragile sets of four legs. I focused my hearing in their direction and could easily pull the sounds of four strong, scampering heartbeats. Venom began to pool in my mouth and I inhaled. My nose scrunched, but only slightly.

The blood didn't smell rancid the way Jacob and Embry's had, but it wasn't the most appealing scent. I tried to think less of the smell and focus on the sound of their heartbeats. Listening to the rush of blood through the valves of their hearts. I inhaled once more, which seemed the natural thing to do, and the scent was no longer unappealing.

My eyes snapped open and I launched myself in the direction of the herd. I ran through the trees silently. The only thing giving away the fact that I'd moved through them was subtle breeze that kicked up behind me. I could see them for before any of them even registered I was close. I didn't slow as I approached, instead I locked my gaze on the largest of the herd and when I was close enough, I launched myself onto him.

The other three scattered as I tackled the buck and sunk my teeth into his neck. I pulled mouthfuls of blood from the wound I'd created and relished in the warmth of the liquid that eased the dry burn in my throat. When I drained him, I listened for the others, each running frantically through the trees in sporadic directions.

I went for the largest doe next, darting after her, I caught up to her quickly and went steadfast for her neck. I drained her much quicker than the buck, but when I was done, my thirst wasn't completely quenched. I paused for a moment, listening for the others, I could hear the next doe, she'd stopped not too far away. She was listening for me as much as I was listening for her. I held my breath, and she took a few steps toward where I stood. I knew from the distance there was no way she knew exactly where I was. I waited a second longer, then took off in her direction. She heard the sudden movement of my approach and tried to run, but I was faster.

Once she was drained, though I felt nearly full, I decided I needed to move on to the final deer. It would be better for me to be overly full than get too thirsty. I wasn't sure how long it would take for me to want to hunt again, but I wasn't set on going every night in case Charlie got over zealous and came out looking for me himself. I knew that killing this way was far better than taking the life of an innocent human, especially that of my own dad.

I also felt a little guilty, I didn't want to leave this one deer alone without it's family. When I caught his scent, I went to him slowly, allowing my body to absorb some of what I'd already drank. When I got close, I pounced and drained the final of the four.

*

I moved away from the stag a few hundred yards, and sank to the forest floor. I felt full, and the burn in the throat was so dull it was almost nonexistent. I breathed in heavily, and closed my eyes.

I wasn't sure exactly how long my hunting trip had taken, but I was just starting to see the first few traces of light. I lay on the forest floor with my hands on the my full stomach. I smiled up at the canopy of trees. It was strange and refreshing that I was so proud of myself for hunting. I had never really been good at anything, but I had done this by myself, successfully. I had been so nervous about not knowing what to do, but it really was instinctual. I covered my eyes with my palms, grinning, still amazed with myself. Despite all of the anguish and grief surrounding me in every aspect of my life, I was happy. I finally figured out where I belonged, and though I wished I had the Cullen's company, I was also exhilarated that I was able to do this on my own.

As I laid there, the lavender tint that the darkness created began to fade into to a soft pink, then a pastel yellow.

I sat up slowly, and the blood sloshed in my stomach. My nose scrunched up, I didn't feel nauseous, but running seemed displeasing with how full I still felt. I stood slowly, and paused to admire what the light did to the forest around me. Once upon a time ago, I had loved the color brown. I missed the beauty in the brown of Arizona. Now I could really see the depth of the foliage around me. Green was just as beautiful.

With a deep sigh, I turned on my heel, and bolted toward to Cullen house.