Chapter 18 So Far Away
"You'll be fine." I didn't growl. That would be unseemly. My voice just took a deeper, more threatening tone, to convey my annoyance. That's it.
"Please, Mr. Jack!" Claptrap whined, clenching my leg in a way that almost made me reminisce about Angel when she was a kid. Except this was less sweet, and more gross. "Don't leave me alone! Take me with yoouuu!:
Everyone else, barring Tannis, actually took my decision pretty well.
Roland was apathetic, Lilith was understanding, Mordecai was unsurprised (dick), Brick was a little sad, but he's a big boy. He got over it. Especially since I'm letting him keep the Technical. For now.
I'm not just gonna abandon them. But, Angel's right, I need to get my priorities in check. Besides, I'll just make them a bigger target, and that's definitely not going to do them any favors. I'll just work Mission Control for a bit, just until the heat dials down.
Might need to talk things over with the boys at Hyperion too.
Corporates are not going to be happy with me. I've got a pretty recognizable 'face' and now the Crimson Lance has seen it all around Pandora. The bosses are going to grill me about this. Tassiter might even try to use this to get me fired.
Originally, back when I had this plan, I wasn't too worried about it. I figured they'd be so excited to get their hands on an Eridium rich planet, that they'd give me a pass for going around management.
But since now I'm going to be leaving before the Vault's even been peeked into, I gotta convince them that it's worth our time. Which it is. So at least I won't have to lie. Much.
I'll probably need to embellish a few details here (my employee competence) and leave a few details out (my Siren daughter), but that should be fine. Chances are, they'll give me the benefit of the doubt before they try to kill me.
I am their favorite worker.
The only thing I really need to worry about is Assiter- Sorry, Tassiter. But what else is new, right?
Ah! Frickin- Who made these clamps so tight?! "I said, you'll be fine." I repeated angrily, kicking me leg in a futile effort to remove the annoying robot. "Get off!"
Lilith sighed, and glowed. Next thing I see is a bright flash, followed by a sudden clang.
"Oww." Claptrap whimpered about five feet away from, on top of an old recycling bin. Huh.
Well Lilith, points for power, but I'll have to deduct your aim. Claptraps aren't recyclables. They're trash. "Thanks."
Lilith in response gave a two fingered salute. "Don't mention it." She hesitated for a moment, before asking. "Are you sure you can't stay?"
I sighed quietly. "Yeah. You saw the message, the second they get a beat on me, it's game over. I can handle a few squads, maybe. But I'm not going to try my luck with an army."
Lilith deflated, but nodded. Then, shocking me again, she gave me a hug. "Don't be a stranger."
I cautiously returned it with a brief pat and gave a small smile. "Hey, don't worry. I'll group back up with you guys at the end. I have to take credit somehow, right?"
Lilith rolled her eyes, and playfully punched my arm. "Right. Well, when you're big and famous, just remember the little guys who helped you out, ok?"
"And their paychecks." Mordecai helpfully reminded, while giving away that he was totally eavesdropping.
"Of course. How else could I ever repay the valuable help that Bloodwing's given me?" I taunted.
Bloodwing herself preened at the praise, while Mordecai grumbled something quietly in a language I didn't speak. Safe to say it probably wasn't very nice.
"Please, sir! Can't I come with you?" Claptrap begged, again.
"No." I immediately denied. "It's uh, I'm going to my bosses back at Hyperion. They have a no Claptrap allowed policy back at the station. Sorry."
"Actually, you could-" I quickly cut Angel's feed out, and grinned sheepishly at everyone, besides Claptrap, who for the life of him couldn't take a hint. That reminds me, I need to update his context clues software.
"Would you all excuse me for a quick second? Thanks." I didn't actually wait for approval, I just left. You can do that sort of thing when you're the boss. "Angel, sweetie, can you please give me a break?"
"Did you just hang up on me?!" Guess not.
"Okay, look, let's not get off topic here." Do not let her deflect, Jack. She learned it from watching you, and if you let her win, you'll never win. "Why are you trying to latch a Claptrap onto me? You know I hate them. You don't see me trying to set you up with a clown!"
Not after that one birthday… ughh.
"I was just going to say you could bring him!" Angel defended herself. "And you could. What's so wrong with that?"
"Angel," I sighed exasperated. "You're my daughter, and I love you unconditionally. But if you keep pulling this crap, I'm going to start making conditions."
It's an empty threat, and we both know it. But I think it got my point across.
Doesn't stop Angel from giving an almost rebellious snort. "Whatever you say, dad." She paused, and the silence stretched long enough to the point where I almost hung up again. "And dad?"
"Yeah, Angel?"
"Thank you." She said gratefully. Two words, and she already made me feel a lot better about leaving. "I know you wanted to stay…"
She trailed off, and I took that as my cue. "Yeah, well, sometimes you gotta take care of your priorities first. You're my little girl. The Vault can wait."
I could practically hear her blush. "I'll see you soon, then?"
"You will." I promised.
"Okay." Angel sighed in relief. "I love you, dad."
"I love you too, kiddo." Uh oh. Tannis is in bound. "I gotta go, we can talk later." I heard a quick goodbye before I cut the comms, but that was enough. "Doc." I greeted her carefully.
"Jack." She returned coldly.
"Listen, Tannis, I-" I stumbled through an apology. Something she obviously didn't appreciate.
"Spare me." Tannis rolled her eyes. She made a big effort into doing that, her head's going along with the motion. "If I desired to listen to an insincere and incomplete apology, I would have taken Echo Recorder back."
Okay, not sure what the polite response to that is. Just gonna pretend I didn't hear it.
"You'll be fine." I reassure her instead. She snorted in disbelief, so I kept going. "I'm serious! I know they don't look like it, but these guys are professional. The Vault couldn't be in better hands."
Bang!
"Sorry!"
"Claptrap, I told you to stay out of the driver's seat!" Great supervision, Mordecai.
"But this isn't the driver's seat. It's the turret." Claptrap argued, unhelpfully.
"Yeah, well… shut up!" Mordecai refuted, unhelpfully. I'm starting to suspect a pattern here.
Tannis didn't raise an eyebrow at me. She probably didn't have enough information on social cues to be aware that it's how you express doubt, or incredibility. So instead, she stared at me. Without blinking. For almost an entire minute.
It was actually starting to make me uncomfortable.
"Okay, in my defense." I stressed, holding up my hands in peace. "In my defense, I did not hire Claptrap. He just sorta tagged along." Please stop staring at me.
She didn't. "You can't leave."
"I have to." I repeated. "Look, it's not that bad, I can still provide a bit of orbital support and oversight. It'll be like I never left… even though there's going to be lightyears of distance between us. But, but I can still come back with a flash thanks to Fast Travel."
Tannis's intense stare, lessened ever so slightly, her deranged and angry gleam, replaced by a deranged and curious gleam. "Fast Travel? I have not heard of this Phenomenon. Describe it to me, immediately."
"You don't know-?" Ah! Angry glare's back, skip the small talk! Skip the small talk! "It's a form of teleportation I invented to get from point A to B near instantaneously."
"Spare no detail." Tannis spoke much more rationally. She's still completely crazy, but it's the manageable kind, now. "I want to know the process more thoroughly then my own body, which consists of two concealable moles, twenty six freckles, and as of last Friday-"
"So, let me tell you about Fast Travel!" I interrupt with false cheer. Too much information, Doc.
I then proceeded to give a long winded lecture on the semantics, functions, and planning behind the Fast Travel, of which I'm only about forty percent knowledgeable of. I'd say Angel did about thirty percent of the other work, and the Sireny powers helped fill in the blanks for the last thirty.
Again though, I am really glad I have Jack's intelligence, because otherwise, I'd be completely clueless.
Tannis had no such problem, occasionally chiming in with her own certifiable insights. Otherwise, she just nodded along thoughtfully. Or as close as she could manage, like I said, she doesn't really get social cues.
"I see." She hummed a tune off key, thoughtfully. "I believe I can perceive your plan accurately, if you shall indulge me?"
Huh? Oh, that was a question. "Uh, sure."
"Marvelous." Tannis breathed in, and at the moment I knew I fucked up. "You have, in your possession, a device that will allow you to travel to and from any two places in the known universe. Even if those two places are worlds away."
"Yes."
"Your intention is to use this device to escape Pandora as quickly as possible, and only return when the need is most dire. However, this position still allows you to provide mobile support, or at the very least, monitor the Vault Hunters activities." She continued.
"Yes."
"You are taking me with you." Tannis concluded.
"Ye- No. Sorry, reflex. But anyways, no, you're not coming." I denied the simple, and surprisingly sane request. "You're needed here. You know, for the Vault? Is this ringing any bells here?"
"Don't be silly, Jack." She waved off. "My lunch bells activate on an automatic timer, does this look like noon to you? Oh, and yes, I am most certainly coming. There is no reason my part cannot be completed at Hyperion. Indeed, a more refurbished lab would be most useful."
"Okay, good point." But you're crazy and I don't want to be that close to you. "But don't you need some of your supplies, or equipment here? I mean, you've probably customized this stuff up to your standards, right?"
"Perhaps." Tannis seemed to hesitate, before her lips twitched in rendition of a smile. "You still have the rather large fellow under your employ, yes? We can make use of his services and have him carry items I do not wish to.
"Are you sure?" I'm running out of polite excuses, make this good! "What if you forget something? Can we really afford to come back?"
Tannis stated at me again, and I had no idea what that meant. "If perchance I were to forget something of vital importance, as unlikely as that may be. It has recently come to my attention that I can simply teleport back."
Yup. I definitely fucked up.
"I- but! Aghh, fine." I reluctantly, and slightly bitterly allow it. All aboard the crazy train. Choo-choo-! Wait not all! "Claptrap stays here though."
"Agreed." Tannis thankfully did not argue with me on this. First real accord we've ever had.
"Okay they, you ready to-"
"I'll fetch my things, immediately." No sprinting involved, but she did exit with a remarkable pace.
So, that was a thing.
…
Brick wasn't quite sure what to think.
Granted, that's not much different than usual. But something about today's events left a different kind of feeling. Less confused, and more conflicted? He didn't know. Or at least, he didn't really know how to describe it.
Brick wasn't a therapist, is that the right word?
Brick wasn't a touchy-feely, smarty-pants guy. And certainly, no one has ever accused him of being emotionally mature. Or intelligently mature. People did call him overly mature, physically speaking.
But emotionally, yeah, not so much. It's kind of a work in progress. Check back on that later.
He definitely wasn't happy that Jack was gone. Brick liked Jack. Jack was a nice guy, he made lots of jokes, he paid pretty well, he explained things to Brick when he was confused. Nobody was ever that patient with him!
Brick's still not sure why Jack had to leave. Mind you, the man did explain it, but it still didn't make a whole lot of sense. The boss gets a wanted poster, with a pretty big number on it granted, and leaves to protect them?
Now Brick's been prone to confusion, certainly. But this feels like a special kind of mind bender.
So, he's just going to stop trying to wrap his head around it. "What's the plan, boss?"
It took a second for Lilith to realize he was talking to her. And people thought he was slow. "Me?"
"Yeah, you. Didn't Jack leave you in charge?"
"No." Lilith snorted, before she paused. "Did he?"
"That's what it sounded like to me." Mordecai said casually, and Bloodwing cawed in agreement. At least Brick thinks that's an agreement. Couldn't be sure, though. He doesn't speak bird.
"What about Roland?" Lilith tried to weasel out, good point though. "Where is he anyway?"
"Refueling." The man in question answered, passing by them with a full container of gas. "It's going to be a long trip."
"Wait! Can't you- and he's gone." Lilith sighed. That's why no Roland.
"What's the problem, girl?" Brick asked sincerely. "You're smart, you know what you're doing."
"I don't even know where we're going!" She complained.
"I do." Roland passed by again, this time with an empty container, dang he's fast. "Tannis gave me the coordinates. I'm driving." His voice left no room for argument, and even if it did, he left almost immediately after finishing that sentence anyway.
"If Tannis gave you the coordinates, doesn't that mean you're in- and he's not listening. Again." Lilith groaned into her hands. "I haven't even been in charge for an hour, and already my people don't listen to me."
"We're listening to you." Brick argued emphatically. "Right, guys?"
Roland briefly nodded, already heading straight for the Technical. Bloodwing sang in approval and flew over to Lilith in support. Which actually caused Mordecai to stumble because apparently he hadn't been paying attention.
"Crap." Mordecai struggled to quickly regain his balance, looking at Bloodwing in slight betrayal, before sheepishly smiling at the rest of the group. "Uh, sorry. What's going on? I wasn't listening."
Lilith impossibly groaned even louder. Prompting Roland to honk the horn prematurely. She straightened up, and looked around in defeat, her shoulders slightly sagging in despair. "Fine. Let's go."
The next thing she mumbled was obviously just a part of Brick's wild imagination. Psshh. 'This is going to be a disaster.' Yeah, right. This is going to be great!
Also, where's Claptrap?
…
"It was to my understanding we would not be bringing it." Tannis loudly whispered to me, completely ruining the point of whispering. She was arguably less happy about him than I was.
But that's because I knew something she didn't.
"We're not." I assure her firmly.
"Then why is it following us?" Tannis continued her interrogation in her 'quite' voice.
There was a small scraping sound, followed by a digitalized "Pshew. Close one." Claptrap's were definitely not designed for stealth. Nah. They were designed for… what again? It was opening doors, right? Seriously, how stupid are people that they need a robot in order to open a door.
"Because he's an idiot?" I offer suggestively.
"True." Tannis allows. "But imbecilic or not, I find it difficult to believe even a Claptrap incapable of utilizing your 'Fast Travel'."
Fair. Given all the surprisingly stupid people in the galaxy, I made the system as user friendly as possible. Figures that'd come back to bite me. Or it would if I hadn't made precautions for exactly these kinds of scenarios.
"He's not registered in the Network." I explained. "I only let people who pay for this stuff use them. Technically we're going to have to register you too at some point, you're just kind of riding my coattails today."
Well, sorta. That's what all 'plus ones' do in my opinion.
"Hmmph!" She harrumphed, tilting her nose up superiorly. Tannis is going to fit in great at Hyperion. "Shall we then?"
"Let's go."
The process gets a little easier every time, but so far it hasn't killed the allure. There's a certain kind of fascination with all the pretty colors, the sounds, that feeling in your bones, as your body is whisked away into a vortex. Instantaneously, with no trigger warning in sight.
One moment, you're just chilling, standing in place, the next you're just a beam of light. Pointed in a direction, and launched headfirst, feetfirst, you don't even know!
Thankfully, the journey ends almost as quickly as it begins, so you don't overthink any of the big existential questions. A, uh, a couple of test dummies had that problem. But the kinks are all sorted out now, so it's fine. Probably.
Tannis though… she vomited. Just, wretched over and hurled her guts out.
I'm gonna take a few (many) steps back. I like these shoes, and I don't want to burn them. "Yeah, the first time can be a little disorienting."
Tannis holds a finger in the air, don't worry it's not the middle one. She's just telling me to give her a moment. Which, yeah, that makes sense, she can't exactly talk right now. In fact, I think I'm just gonna stop talking too.
She catches her breath, spitting out the last bits of vomit in her mouth, and faces me. Vomit still on her face. Gross. "Well, then, now that we have arrived, what-"
"Waah!" What the- Claptrap?!
He came out of the portal crawling, first person I've ever seen do that. It was actually a little weird to see, with the whole wheel instead of legs thing. "That was crazy! I just saw all of reality pass by, what does it all mean?! Does any of it matter? Do I matter!?"
Huh. Guess I'm gonna have to go over the designs again. I do not want to be responsible for robotic sentience. Wait a minute, how'd he even get here?! No Claptrap has ever been allowed in the-
Angel.
You are so grounded.
…
Hey, if he has to be a good dad, he at least gets to have fun with it.
So, there you have it folks, Angel won the vote, and you'll find that the rest of the game will go down more or less (Hint: Less) the same as it did originally. But that's a story for another time. Like every two weeks.
To wrap things up, I'd like to thank everyone who voted, and everyone who reviewed, I'm always encouraged by viewer participation. And why stop there? Seven more reviews will make the count two hundred. That'd be pretty neat to see.
Special shoutout to BohemianRhaspody, who pretty accurately guessed how this chapter was going to go, since Angel won the vote. I didn't see any questions from you this time around, but that's okay. I appreciate the input.
So, until I see you all next time, please Follow, Favorite, and Review!