Chapter 21 Reunited And It Feels So Good

"Do you guys see it?" Seriously, it shouldn't be this hard to find. Like, it glows.

Although, in hindsight, maybe they should have guessed it would have been harder to search a football field sized corpse. What could she say? She wasn't really thinking that far ahead. Her priority was to kill the Rakk Hive, preferably without getting killed by said Rakk Hive.

Maybe she should come up with better plans. Or stop making them.

Things were going pretty well when she was working under Jack. Wait. Not like that. Bad thoughts, Lilith. He's your boss. This is why your relationships never last. Just take this slow. Play it cool. Be smooth, suave, sexy…

Or something like that. What did the cosmo say again? Not that she reads those!

It was just… on the table. She was bored. That's her story, and she's sticking to it.

"Found it!" Mordecai exclaimed, lifting up a stone victoriously. A stone. "Wait. Nevermind, it's just a rock." What is even the point of wearing those weird google things, if they don't even improve your eyesight.

Lilith facepalmed again, for the fourth time today. And immediately regretted it, because her hands were still sticky and wet from monster guts, and now that stuff is smeared all over her face. Awesome.

Why was she even searching for it inside the body?! For all she knew, the Rakk Hive could have been wearing it like an accessory, like a necklace or an earring. Oh God, somebody please tell her they didn't incinerate/disintegrate it along with the head.

No, no, no! What if that did happen?

Is that even possible? Aren't these Vault Key fragment whatevers supposed to be super tough? Then again, if they are supposed to be tough, then why are they in pieces in the first place? This line of thinking is not bringing down her stress.

Just gotta keep searching. Can't stress out if you're too busy working, right? Unless the work is what's stressing you out. Then you're just going through an endless loop of stress, and the only relief is the sweet release of dea-

"Hey guys, I got it!" Brick cheered, lifting up the real fragment. And just like that, the weight on her shoulder just loosened up immensely.

If Brick wasn't more muscle than man, and if she wasn't terribly clumsy at relationships/touchy feely moments (like really bad), and if they both weren't covered in blood and intestines, she would totally kiss him. Probably. Or maybe not. Like she said, she isn't great with this stuff.

Lilith would definitely hug him, though. If he wasn't covered in monster guts. She'll stop now.

Lilith whispered a prayer of thanks, and turned back to Roland, cocky grin restored. "I told you we'd find it. Call Jack and give him the good word."

Roland nodded his head, and shifted his neck slightly, a sign that he was a touch annoyed. All that 'thousand-yard' staring has given him a severe case of permanent straight face. So, they really had to rely on those subtle signs of body language to tell how he was really feeling.

Admittedly, she wasn't the best person to translate that stuff, but she's known him long enough to know his annoyed 'face' by now. Roland was annoyed a lot, so it wasn't exactly hard to figure out, but still.

"Angel." Roland started speaking into his echo. Lilith was pretty sure that she told him to call Jack, but whatever, that's cool. It's not like she's in charge or anything. "We have the last fragment. We need to rendezvous with Jack, and reassemble the Key. How soon can he be available?"

"Very." A rouge, charming, masculine voice, that was noticeably not Angel answered in reply. "I'm sending you coordinates to the nearest Fast Travel, get there ASAP, and we can meet up here. Tannis's old lab was ransacked a couple of hours after we left, so Pandora's probably gonna be a little too hot for a while. Oh, and Roland?"

"Yes, sir?" Look at that. So respectful. Does Lilith need to remind him they aren't military?

"Angel is not my secretary. M'kay? I know that she's filled in for me a few times when I was busy, because she's awesome. But that does not make her the go between for you and me. She is very busy. She doesn't have the time to help you guys with every little problem, but she's too nice to say no, so I'm doing it for her. Are we clear?" Jack concluded sternly.

Wow. Lilith feels like she just caught second hand scolding from her dad. Brutal.

Roland clearly felt the same because he twisted on his feet a smidge. Body language, remember? "Ahem. Yes, sir. I understand."

"Coolsies." And now the 'fun' Jack is back. Ha. Jack is back, that rhymes. "Don't keep us waiting, as soon as Tannis gets that key patched up, we're opening the Vault. Oh, and make sure the BFG is recharged on the drive over, we're gonna need it to fight the Destroyer."

Right. The 'Destroyer'. The illustrious mega monster that Jack warned them about. Yup, she was really worried about that thing. Or she would be. If it existed.

And yeah, maybe she should be a little less skeptical about this. After all, Jack seemed to believe it, he wasn't an idiot. Also given some very recent experiences, she didn't object to the fact that there are massive, terrifying beings out there in the world. Especially this world.

But that doesn't mean that the 'Destroyer' is actually as bad as the name implies. Plus, Destroyer, really? It just feels like a really cheesy, very uncreative name. Personally, she would have called it something awesome like the Warrior, or Firehawk.

Ooh! She liked that one. Lilith's gonna have to remember it.

"We'll start heading to the coordinates now." Roland spoke again, nodding to the group as he started walking back to the car. "Is there anything else we can-"

"That should be fine." Jack interrupted him, as the sounds of crashing broke through the transmission. "Frickin Claptrap! Just stay still- Okay, listen guys, I hate to cut you off like this, but I got to handle something right now, so we can pick up on this when you get here. Kay? Love ya, buh-bye."

Lilith raised an eyebrow, while Brick smiled. "Love you too, boss!" He joyfully responded.

That was… she's not gonna look into that right now. "What was that about?" Lilith distractedly asked, referencing the crashing and the Claptraps, somehow completely unsurprised that the two were correlated.

She shared a look with Mordecai about it, as he was the closest to a sane person in the current group, aside from her, of course. At least, she thought they shared a look. Stupid goggles, preventing direct eye contact like that.

He wasn't even pulling them off. Just like he wasn't pulling off that weird ski mask thing (they are in the desert, what is he thinking?!). Or his beard. Don't get her wrong, beards can be cool, just look at Santa and Jesus. But a beard without a mustache?

There's just something off about that. Get it?

Because his beard has no mustache, so it's like the mustache is… off. You know what, forget it. The joke isn't funny if you have to explain it.

"Hey!" Roland called out from the driver's seat, looking at them all sternly. When did he even get there. "Let's go."

Lilith shrugged. She's sure Jack could take care of whatever it was until they got there.

…

"No! Put that down now, and- Hey! What did I say about dancing?!" I roared at the maniacal, mechanical monstrosity. What have I done?

"But Mr. Jack! I gotta! It's in my blood." Claptrap begged, while walking like an Egyptian, sans the legs. This reprogramming stuff is going a lot more challenging than I thought it would.

"One: I don't care. Two: You don't have blood. At best, you have oil. Three: I don't care. Four: I told you to never, ever engage in any form of dance protocols outside of battle!" It's the only compromise I would allow. Besides, he was unsurprisingly effective at wrecking people and things while dancing. It really makes the most sense.

"But-"

"And five: Initiate Morpheus Protocol. Begin sleep mode."

"Okay!" Clank.

I am so happy I made that virus.

But now I have to lug him out of my lab again. Great. Unless…

"Intern!" I called upon the darkest arts, to summon the lowliest of creatures. A being forced to obey my every command, with nothing to receive in turn, save for 'experience' and 'references'. Which in other words, is completely nothing.

"My name is Paul…" The intern said in a way of greeting. He does that a lot, it must be a cultural thing.

"Intern." I addressed the intern, who might be having problems with his vision, given that his eyes are rolling. "Move this thing back into the open access labs. But make sure everyone knows, I'm working on him. I'm not tossing him out." Yet. "I just need to clear up some space while I work on something more important."

"Well, uh, what're you working on?" The intern snooped. Awe, adorable. He doesn't even have a company ID, and he's already trying to play with the big boys.

"Yeah, nice try." I laughed, in a 'you're stupid' kind of way. "Even if we did give you guys wages, this would still be leagues above your paygrade. Now, less chit chat, more manual labor. Okay, pumpkin?"

"Yes, sir." The intern dishearteningly answered. He grunted away as he carted the one wheeled wonder out of the lab. If he scratched my floors, I swear I'll-

Hmm. What could I do? He doesn't make any money, so it's not like I can cut his salary. Can you even fire someone who works for free? I'll think of something- I'll finish working on the Vault Key with Tannis, then I'll figure this out.

Gotta keep those priorities in check. Overclocking the franchise's number two mascot can wait.

"Jack." Tannis greeted in a surprisingly sane way, as she entered the lab. I guess being around other people helped revitalize her social skills. "Dare I inquire why there is a hint of endorphins, as well as an overabundance of testosterone in the air." Nevermind.

For those of you who don't quite grasp the whole science lingo, she just asked why it smells like tears and frustration in here. Which for one, rude. And for two… my work is a little demanding, and sometimes I get a little emotional. No further comments, I plead the fifth.

"You could dare." I noted. "Or you can shut up and help me fix the Vault Key."

Rather than being offended, Tannis's eyes lit up in excitement, and a little bit in madness. "You have the last fragment?"

"The Vault Hunters have the last fragment." I corrected, crossing my arms a little smugly. "But they'll be here soon. Guess hiring them wasn't such a dumb idea after all, huh?!" I directed that last bit at the camera, facing it with a smirk, as I was one hundred and twenty percent sure that Tassiter was hacking into my security system. Again.

Tannis looked surprised at me again, before rather unexpectedly hugging me. Then she quickly pulled away and patted herself down. Really? This is the woman that would one day climb into the intestines of an alien creature for warmth, Hoth style, and she was afraid of the old Jack-germs?

They aren't even bad for you. In fact, they've done wonder for me. Also, what was with the hug again? I know I'm being cool about it, but that was really weird.

She smiled, and it was one of the scariest things I've ever seen in my life. It held a glint of relief, empathy, and joy. So terrifying. "Truly, my associate, no, my dearest friend," Oh, I alreadyhate this, please stop. "I thought myself the only one enlightened enough to see past the physical exterior and connect with the being that hides behind."

What is she talking about?! I'm as worried as I am confused!

"But you can see it too! You can see the spirit that binds itself within these so called 'animate objects'." What? Oh, the camera thing! I gotta set this straight, now. "I haven't felt this close to someone since my fallout out with Echo Recorder!"

Sheesh. I really don't want to open that can of worms. Should I start hiring those therapists I was talking about, now?

"Look, Doc-" I was cut off by the wsssh of the door opening (I love my new door. I'll never have to pull or push something open ever again!) and the classic superhero entrance of Pandora's four biggest badasses. Well, it's classic if superheroes enter the room casually, and are covered in alien blood.

Do Men in Black count as superheroes?

"Jack." Lilith smiles brightly, it practically shined compared to the dirt and grime that coated them. "We got it." She lifts up the key in one hand victoriously, as it glowed purple proudly. I am gonna be so peeved if she pulls a Starlord and drops it right in front of me.

She doesn't. Lilith hands it to me, and I feel like whimpering in relief. Not shouting. It's more like, you know how you're not sure that you'll be able to do something, but one day, you go farther than you've ever gone before?

You'd think you feel excited, and you do, a little. But mostly, you feel anxious, worried. This is the closest you've ever come, what happens if you trip up now, when you're so close to winning. But then, somehow, you don't mess up, you keep calm, or as calm as you can, and push through.

You push through the pain, the sweat, the tears, and the shaking limbs, and by the time you're done you feel like crying. And in that moment you collapse, overjoyed, because you just did the impossible. Even after everyone doubted, even after you doubted. You did it.

Miraculous, I didn't drop it. It's quite the feet when you're holding it in shaking hands, and slightly sweaty palms.

I hand it off to Tannis, before it slips. Thankfully (but mostly oddly) she didn't seem to mind the sweat, holding it close and reverently. I turn my head back to the others, and give them a cocky smile, that I hope wasn't betrayed by my obviously recovering-tense body language.

"Great job, kiddos!" I really hope that didn't come off as condescending. Most of the time it isn't, but I have one of those kinds of voices, now. You know? The ones that sound pretentious and snarky? That's me. "I never doubted you."

Which was completely true. Because I knew the canonical future. Otherwise, I'd be an even bigger wreck of relief right about now.

Just… I need a second to breathe. Honestly, I'm about to start crying tears of joy. Why is all of my work so emotional?!

…

Patricia Tannis admired her emotionally charged, and surprisingly sensitive, tentative friend, for all of five seconds. Or perhaps it was five minutes? Whichever was the least socially awkward, she was sure.

Admittedly, she was a bit distracted herself.

In the palm of her hands, she had the last piece required to reform the Vault Key. Everything they've worked for, all that she's sacrificed for, and now her labors have been rewarded. Even still, she could only imagine what wonders were locked away inside the Vault.

Power? Knowledge? An odd assembly of missing doll parts, seemingly important files, and various tapes of past memoirs? What? It's what she keeps in her vault.

Patty waited for what she was certain was the appropriate time of coping before gently gripping Jack's shoulder. "Jack, we are ready to begin… if you are ready." She nervously tacked on, as for some mysterious reason, she received strange looks from their hired mercenaries.

Well, Jack's hired mercenaries.

Patricia never actually paid them anything. But in her defense, they never requested a wage. And besides, after that one disaster, when she reimbursed her former employees at the dig site with her finest collection of exotic stamps, and a pizza from a rather quaint restaurant in Fyrestone, she was no longer allowed to manage matters of finance.

She thought the pizza was wonderful. She especially enjoyed how her mushrooms tried to flee.

"Right." Jack coughed into his fist abruptly. "Thanks, Doc." She continued to stare at him, and he coughed once more. "You can get your hand off my shoulder now."

Ah, right. Patricia almost forgot about that. She would have, had Jack not reminded her. It was such a fascinating shoulder, so lean and comfortable, rather surprising from an office worker- ah, she should remove her hand now, should she not?

"Of course." She agreed, only slightly reluctantly. Patricia has been rather touch starved for a while. Perhaps now she'll be able to get a pet? Or even adoption? She's always been enamored with the idea of raising a fine, young pair of ceiling chairs.

If you have to ask her what a ceiling chair is, then this self-thought conversation is over.

"Alrighty, then." Jack cracked his knuckles, it sounded quite lovely. "Let's get started."

…

I won't bore you with the details behind the science process, let me just say that it was the MOST amazing thing I have ever seen! It was like these magic, magnetic remnants of tech, had a love child with science, while reality sat in the corner and watched.

And all together, they made the most amazing display of light, power, and pizzaz, since the stars were made! I really wished I got that on video, because frankly no one believes me when I tell them about it, and Tannis was an unreliable witness.

Not because she lied, but because she's crazy. I know, I know, I keep telling them, it's okay if you're crazy, if you're also really smart. Or really hot. Tannis is both! Well, she's one and a half. She doesn't really go the extra mile for appearance's sake. Which takes away some points.

Plus, well, let's just say that a lot of sexual tension really dies out when you see someone eat a live spider. Just, damn. I still get shivers from that.

"Angel, we've got the key." I echo my findings proudly, holding the key in question like it was the One Ring. "Tell me you know where the Vault is?"

It's literally the only thing I've been having her do (barring every time I or my Vault Hunters had to call her up for help). Plus, she's already got days of footage from the Satellite, there's no doubt in my mind she's got the location.

"I'm sorry." Okay, now I'm doubting. "Pandora's just too widespread. I've been able to narrow down six possible sites, but it's too little to confirm anything."

"Why does this always happen to me?" I asked myself rhetorically, pinching the bridge of my nose. "Okay, send out some of our drones, when they report back in, check what they've found, and if they don't report back in, let me know. Might be the place. Tannis?"

"Yes?"

"You got some intel on Dahl, right? Facilities, mining operations, that sort of thing?" I continue.

"Yes, though none that have revealed the location of the Vault." Tannis warns.

"That's fine, we can still use that to narrow the search. I want you to coordinate with Angel, check their databases, their transcripts, heck see if you can find anything on their channels, I am not letting Atlas win this." I said determinedly.

Facing the rest of my team, I see most of that resolve reflected, but not all. Time to erase the doubt.

"The rest of you, with me. This is the big one, time to suit up for the occasion."

…

Fair warning: this isn't a black tie event.

Well, I'm back! Sorry for skipping last week on the update schedule (and next week), but I'm gonna be a little busy until halfway through May, so please, bear with me. Don't you worry though, we'll still be back for the next chapter in another two weeks.

And guys, let me just say how excited I am. At this point, we're just under a quarter shy of one thousand followers! If I can actually manage to get that before September, I am going to be very thrilled.

So please, as always, Follow, Favorite, and Review!