Chapter 22 Jack And The Box

As a kid, I've always been interested in Greek culture. I read too much Percy Jackson, you know? And of course, I was also a DC fan boy, prior to the MCU anyway, and when you keep finding yourself back to the theme of these wise beings, these heroic warriors, the lesson kind of sticks.

That Hercules movie by Disney all but confirmed it.

Here's the thing, though. Greek culture, religion? That's not really what it's about. It wasn't until I got older, that I finally read the true story. Uncovered the dark, sordid details that wouldn't have been out of place in a Grimm's Fairy Tale.

Yup, fairy tales too. Everything from our childhoods has been scrubbed so clean of any and all graphic content, that it'll shine under a lightbulb. Something to think about. But I'm getting off tack.

You see the truth is, the Greeks didn't have good heroes. They had epic heroes, tragic heroes. There wasn't ever a real happy ending. It was more or less, happy for the time being, if even. And the gods I idolized? They were the worst of the bunch.

Murder, rape, cannibalism, torture, you name it, they done it. Even their 'gifts' always came with some hidden price, a truly horrifying cost. Like Midas. He wanted to turn whatever he touched into gold. So, Dionysus, the god of wine and partying, all that fun stuff, gave him that power.

So, everything he touched turned into gold. Everything. After all, he never asked for whatever he wanted to turn, just whatever he touched. So, his horses, his food, his kids. Shiny metal trophies. All of them. Pretty tacky ones, at that.

I could name a dozen of these things, the Curse of Achilles, the Golden Apples of Hesperides, you get my point, right? They take something harmless, something good, and they twist it around, making you pray that you just stuck with toeing the line. Which was kinda the idea.

Take Pandora, nice girl, lovely personality, unclear origins. She was smothered with gifts, and blessings, until one day, she got a box, (actually, it was a jar, but again, unclear origins) that she was even warned not to open.

And she didn't… until she did. Go figure, curiosity is one hell of a temptation.

Turns out that by doing so, she unleashed all evil. So, curiosity kills everything in this case. Except for hope. For only Man could spring that loose. Suffice it to say, no one ever opened the box again. They learned their lesson.

Which leads me to my point… am I doing the right thing?

Okay, you know what, that was phrased poorly, don't read too much into it. I obviously know that I'm the good guy. I've been honest, ethical, supportive, all those classic hero patented traits. Morally, I feel pretty okay with this.

What I mean to ask is, am I doing the smart thing?

Because while I can understand my whole thought process behind this stuff hypothetically, I'm still trying to keep the logic about it in mind. Just- Look, I'm trying to open a Vault that was sealed by an ancient now deceased race of apparently very intelligent aliens. One that happens to hold the most dangerous monster in all of creation.

Well, allegedly dangerous. It gets its weird tentacle whatever, one eyed ass kicked by four tiny humans on the first round. The point is, it's supposed to be a very big threat. Will be, if I ever let Tyreen try to muck this up.

Which I will not. I know it seems like I'm whining this a lot of the time, but I'm not. Trust me, I have a plan. Well, I have a guideline, anyways. You know what they say about the 'best laid plans' and all.

So, I know on paper, my little business venture seems a little, eh, risky, but think of the reward!

Fame, fortune, glory, respect, etc. Who could pass this up?!

And yeah, maybe I should play this a little cautiously. I should remember how well it ended for the good guys in the Fables, and say 'well, lesson learned. I will never ever do that.' And you know what? I will definitely think about all that junk while I'm busy counting my money.

Because let's face it. Reality isn't a book. It's the greatest story of all time.

And in every great story, the hero always wins.

Handsome Jack, CEO of Hyperion, Chronicles Of Pandora, Vault of The Destroyer

...

"Dad?" Angel repeated, after a moment of silence. "Did you hear me? I said-"

"No, it's okay. I heard you. I was just processing." I rambled, looking back at my echo in wonder. "You found it already? How? I thought we'd need at least another few cycles for the drones to report back."

"We didn't need them to." Angel explained a little giddy. "Dr. Tannis and I were eliminating one of the locations when the Satellite we had in orbit detected an immense energy spike, from one of the sectors we narrowed. I had the drone we sent into that area investigate the source, and…"

This was it.

It was just like I remembered. Broken stone arches scattered around, laying about snow banks on a mountain peak, and at the center of it all, a hole. A keyhole. Get your minds out of the gutter.

Wait a minute, energy spike? We haven't even gotten there yet, what did that?

"Can you tell what caused the spike?" I asked. I know, don't look a gift horse in the mouth, but something about this doesn't seem right. The site's completely barren, no one's been there for decades, probably longer, but suddenly the lights are back on?

"We're unsure." Angel answered with the casualty of someone who hadn't played the game and saw the ending. "But based on the timing, we believe it may have been caused by the reassembly of the Key. It's possible that the Vault's reacting to its presence."

"This far away?" I asked skeptically. "Sweetie, we're literally lightyears away from Pandora, right now. I know the Eridians were tough and all, but come on, their tech's gotta have limits. Right?"

"If they do," Angel acknowledged. "Then they are certainly far higher than ours."

Can't argue with that.

"Okay, then. I want you to send a Fast Travel down to the Vault's location, ASAP. Have the drones move one of the ones we've already got there if you have to." I instruct, quickening my pace back towards the armory, while reloading a spare clip into one of the most expensive guns Hyperion's ever made.

"Are you sure that's wise? Tampering with the network like that could have consequences we can't foresee. There's not an immediate rush, we do have time." Angel tries to soothe rationally.

"Angel, the whole planet's gunning for us, the faster we take care of this, the less ground they'll cover. Besides, if things go to hell, we're probably gonna need to book it." Which I really hope isn't an option.

Opening the Vault, that's risky. Letting the monster inside it, loose? That's suicidal.

"Just- whatever you do, you gotta make it happen fast, okay?" I'm now trying to be an unethically demanding dick here. I'm just a stressed out boss trying to fill the quota.

"I'll see what I can do." Angel reluctantly agreed. "You should begin prepping the Vault Hunters for departure. I'll arrange what I can for travel."

Just bear with me on this, kid. We're almost past the Finish Line.

I absentmindedly check the charge on my lasers as my steps draw nearer to the armory. Everything looks optimal, percentage is performing above expectation, readouts are showing a marked improvement over past equipment.

The 'suit' looks pretty badass. If I do say so myself. I was the chief designer, so I do.

It looked like something of a cross between Mass Effect, Halo, and Power Rangers, which you'd think would be too many things to still look okay, but they clashed surprisingly well. The V-visor on the face template actually had multiple forms of vision. X-ray, thermal, the full Detective Mode experience.

I wore a black jumpsuit underneath the metal plating, to my small regret. I'd love to just cover my whole body up with the stuff, but I gotta be able to move some of my joints, otherwise I'm just a standing meat shield. So, some parts of my body were only protected by a layer of leather, Kevlar, and other stuff I wasn't listening to R&D explain, for the sake of mobility.

The actual armor itself, that had to be my favorite part.

Golden plating on top of a titanium-tungsten alloy, highlighted by the shining blue lines of energy, showcasing some of the energy powering the amour's shielding and life support. And before you ask, yes, that's over the Kinect barrier shield I already have in place.

I wore it on my chest, back, and groin, protecting my most vital areas. I had it surround my arms and legs, for limb protection. And I draped it on as shoulder pads because… well, to be honest it just made me look really cool.

There's probably some protection based reasons I can use, but mostly I wanted that part for aesthetics. Sue me.

"I look awesome!" Someone cheered. What? It wasn't me.

The doors to the armory slid open, and the speaker, who was not me, was revealed to be Brick. I told you it wasn't me, grumble, why doesn't anyone ever believe me, grumble.

I was a little less inventive with the others' appearances. Mind you, I put in the attempt, but well… you know how it goes. You focus on the character you wanna upgrade, and half assedly try to make the others look good, and end up just doing a step above okay?

So, yeah. Little bit of that.

I at least did their classic colors.

Lilith was decked out with the only female variant of what I'm referring to as 'badass armor'. It's got the full nine yards, I even added some homemade repulse cannons to go with the red and gold theme I yoinked from Iron Man.

Roland had a pretty basic set, but I changed his helmet to match up with Halo. Add some soldier elements in. Other than that, his armor was colored navy blue, because I already reserved stone cold grey for Brick.

Speaking of, he was just wearing as much armor as my scientists assured me he could carry. Which was a terrifying amount. I think I could shoot him with a rocket right now without even scratching him.

Bloodwing didn't have anything. Sorry, girl. Frankly though, anything strong enough to protect her from bullets and crap, makes her too heavy to fly. She's just gonna have to rely on some of them biological defenses.

Mordecai didn't have anything special. Maybe his was a bit skinnier. Also, he had copper painting because I don't like to reuse color schemes. No real improvements over the rest, although there is the added bonus of not having room for his ridiculous goggles. So, that's a plus.

"You guys are looking good." I appraised them, mostly honest. "Ready for a field test?"

"Already?!" Lilith asked giddy, and maybe a little nervously. "Awesome!" She cheered, hiding her nerves behind her excitement.

"I didn't think Angel would finish her reconnaissance this quickly." Roland admitted, looking a little hesitant. "Are you sure we're ready to handle this?"

"Yeah, not to sound like a pessimist or something, but…" Mordecai trailed off, trying to find another big word to use after 'pessimist'. "Don't you think we're a little unprepared?"

"No. I don't. Come on guys, what's with all this quitters talk?" I asked around frantically, grabbing Mordecai and Roland by the shoulders reassuringly. And definitely not painfully. "We've got the best gear, we've got the best chance, and we've got the best badasses to boot! We're golden, baby. Stop stressing."

"It just feels a little premature, man." Mordecai commented. Huh, he found another big word.

"It's not." I reassure him. "Has this whole thing felt a little fast paced? Sure. But I promise you, just because we're on the last step of a long sprint doesn't mean we cut across the track. I know it doesn't feel like it, time flies and all that, but this has been a long, long time coming. Trust me."

"Yeah." The now completely masked man, pondered. "You're probably right, amigo."

"Always am." It's not arrogance if it's true. "So, who's ready to kick some ass, and get filthy stinking rich?"

"Hell yeah!" Lilith cheered, bumping into my shoulder affectionately. Well, I assume it was meant to be affectionate. It actually kind of hurt, which is more impressive than anything else, when you consider this armor should be able to withstand an orbital fall.

I should really look into Siren strength at some point. Or I should review who I hire when I'm making these mega projects. Eh, both are worth looking into, I guess.

"Love that enthusiasm." I did not wheeze. I just… choked up a little. It's a very emotional moment, I'm a sensitive guy. Shut up. "Well then, let's get going. Angel? Is the Fast Travel ready?"

"Yes…"

"Buut?" I sighed. So predictable. "Something's gone wrong, there's some horrible catch, or there's an unexpected development?"

"I wouldn't say horrible catch." Angel argued, ineffectively.

"Angel." Cue the 'dad voice'.

"The Fast Travel isn't stable enough to safely transport individuals." Angel admitted. "I was able to recalibrate some of the software to allow the mass teleportation, with the additional factors-"

"Angel, we have an audience, and you're boring them to tears." Particularly of the yawning variety. Poor Brick has to wipe his eyes clean with fists the size of a large lunchbox, that can't be fun.

Angel huffed into the echo. She probably pouted too. She just gets so excited when she gets to explain all this nerd stuff. Probably inherited it from me, her nerd dad. "I can send you, but only if the four of you are already grouped together, protected by a metal casing with immense protection from some of the systems more… abrasive features."

"What, like the Technical?" I asked, confused. "You can't fast travel that stuff, Angel. It has to be digistructed, we tested, remember?"

That was a bad day at the office.

"I remember." Angel grimaced. "Thankfully, the procedure we'll be using is much more refined. It should negate the risks involved and allow you to safely travel. Though, I would not encourage repeated use."

I'm not even sure if I want it for just one use. "I don't know…"

"I wouldn't suggest it if I wasn't sure you would be alright." Angel assured me gently. "Right now, it's the safest option we have, with speed in mind."

Hardest thing in the world is starting to put trust in your kids. I don't mean that emotionally, no one knows you better than the people who made you, I mean more logically. Keep in mind, I remember when I had to teach this kid the alphabet, and multiplication, and now she's smarter at this stuff than me, err Jack me? This crap's confusing.

The point is, I know she's skilled, but there's always gonna be that tiny bit of skepticism there.

"Alright." I sighed. I mean, she is skilled, right? If she says we'll be fine, then we'll be fine. I trust my kid. Incidentally, now feels like a pretty good time to start writing up that will. I'm thinking, Angel gets all my worldly possessions, the Vault Hunters (if they are still alive) get their paychecks, and Claptrap can have my eternal spite.

Even if I die, my hate for irritating machinery will live on forever. Pretty good legacy, right there.

"Well guys, let's go hop in a big metal box on wheels, and hope that it protects us from being flung lightyears across the galaxy at record speed." I finished with a clap, exaggerated by fake confidence. That speech really sounded more inspiring in my head.

I caught a few glimpses of amusement, but mostly it was reluctant acceptance. "Sounds fun."

"Okay!"

"Understood."

"Whatever."

That's good enough for me!

...

It truly is a testament to how much she trusted Jack that she was willing to follow along with an undoubtedly crazy, and probably suicidal plan. Well, either that, or it showed that she was really desperate for cash.

The life of a badass Siren warrior, has done shockingly little to pay the bills. Or taxes. Not that she actually paid that stuff anyways, but even if she wanted to, she couldn't. Which was the real tragedy here.

Lilith might have considered a change of careers if she wasn't about to make a million dollars from just a week's worth of work. Actually, it's only been a few days, but that's only because of Pandora's insane solar cycles.

Just another mark against the planet she was almost growing fond of.

On one hand, it's a wretched hive of scum and villainy (she loved Star Wars!) but on the other, she can really let loose, pretty much guilt free. It's- now don't get her wrong, she's not a psychopath or anything, but she does have a lot of repressed feelings stemming from her lack of a stable childhood, her life on the run, and the stress of getting her doctorate-

Okay, so Lilith had a few issues, who doesn't? The point is, it's kinda nice that she found a place where she can blow some steam without anyone freaking out. She'll hand it to Pandora, it grew on her. Like a fungus, or a tumor, or a Claptrap.

You know, something she can learn to live with, but would prefer to cut off?

Lilith just wished she wasn't about to be slingshot right towards it. Or however the science behind it worked. Did she mention that she was a Doctor of Biology?

"Hey, Jack… this is safe, right?" Mordecai asked uncomfortably, looking around hastily, wondering if it was too late to back out. It totally was.

"Uhh, sure." Jack 'assured', actually using his seatbelt, something Lilith had never seen him do, despite many perilously and bumpy tricks through Pandora's landscape. "You heard Angel. We'll be completely fine."

Lilith could have sworn she heard him mutter 'probably' but he coughed up pretty quickly, so she was probably just imagining it. Right? Yeah. They're totally screwed.

"Initiating jump in T Minus: Ten."

"Sooo, quick question." Lilith tried to say casually, probably betrayed by the fact that she's tightening her seatbelt even more. "Does this job come with life insurance?"

"Nine."

"Nope." Jack ended with a pop. "Sorry."

"Eight."

"Awesome." Lilith groaned back into her seat, when inspiration took her. "Follow up question…"

"Seven."

"Shoot. Not literally, though." He joked.

"Six."

"If we do survive this, do you wanna- I mean like do you have any plans on Friday or…" She trailed off, flustered.

"Five."

"I could probably move some stuff." Jack confirmed, looking at her curiously. "Why, you asking me out?"

"Four."

"Yes…?"

"Three."

"Oh. Oh! Yeah, sure! Ahem. I'm game. Were you thinking like, lunch or maybe drinks, or…"

"Two."

"I was thinking about lunch." Lilith admitted. "But honestly, drinks sound a lot better right now."

"One."

"Yeah…" Jack tightened his seatbelt one final time himself. "They really do."

Without further ado, they were fast traveled, car and all, across the entire universe in matter of seconds, and right now, it felt more intense than any time she made the leap before. Lilith really felt sorry for Bloodwing, the only one among them without a seatbelt.

In retrospect, she probably should have felt more sorry for Mordecai, because those talons were definitely going to leave scars in that shoulder.

Of course, the second she thought about that, they landed, in the most violent, and undignified way they could, aside from crashing. Jack cracked his neck, and unbuckled, leaving the car slowly. Roland followed suit, and since she didn't want to be left behind, so did she.

The sight she saw amazed her. If the Fast Travel didn't leave stars in her eyes, then this definitely would. She's probably studied Sirens and their connections to the Vault more times than she's gotten into trouble. Probably.

But even still, there is a world of difference between reading and actually seeing.

"Finally." Jack cheered, a smile stretched wide across his face. Mask. Whatever, close enough. Actually, she can't even see the smile 'cause of the helmet. She'll just stop now. "Can you guys feel it? The excitement in the air? That spark. I knew we'd always make it here, but actually doing it, it just feels so…"

"False?" Suggested a Russian voice that wasn't Marcus. Turning around, she spotted an entire platoon of Atlas soldiers. Led by one woman… with blue tattoos. "Mistaken? Bitter? Hollow?" She continued, striding her way closer to Jack, who narrowed his eyes in scorn.

"I was gonna say supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, actually. Why don't you give that one a try?" Jack snarked, looking as cocky as ever, if a bit pissed off.

The Siren that wasn't her, scoffed. "You have failed, Hyperion worm. This Vault belongs to the Atlas corporation. Hand over the Key. Now."

Lilith took it all back. Pandora completely sucked.

...

What's this?! A cliffhanger! Inconceivable!

Well, I guess you'll just have to stay tuned in for the next chapter, that I plan to wrap up the main game's plot with. No promises, though. Also, really sorry if this chapter was a little short. I've had a busy two weeks.

First, two days after I posted this, I was assigned another project, haven't even finished the one I was on, and I'm barely halfway finished with this one now. Then I got vaccinated, and almost immediately got a fever from that vaccination.

On top of that, I had a birthday, multiple assignments, admissions, etc. Frankly, I'm just happy I managed to type in over three thousand words.

But, I digress. I'll try to have the Finale out in two weeks. I am pretty busy, so it might be up to three weeks, but I'll try not to let that happen.

You know, this week we also went over 800 Follows! Let's keep the good time rolling with some more Follows, Favorites, and Reviews!