Disclaimer: This story is based on the characters created by Stephanie Meyer in the Twilight Saga. I do not own any of these characters.

Bella

Alice and I spent a while talking though things, and I noticed a vast difference in her since that last time we'd spoken as friends. I figured it mostly had to do with the fact that she could no longer see all the possibilities of the next second, it was the most organic conversation I've ever had with her. I was grateful to feel equal to her now, the way I felt with Emmett and Rosalie. As we spoke I thought of what it meant for the rest of the family to constantly live with who they did. Edward had said a long time ago that privacy wasn't really something they had the luxury of having, I could see that was true. No one in this family could maintain their own thoughts, feelings, or experiences with Alice, Edward, and Jasper around.

It wasn't their fault of course, they didn't chose to have gifts any more than I did. But it was another dynamic I didn't quite understand with the rest of the family, how everyone was just okay with the three of them sort of leading the charge, so caught up in their gifts they couldn't just live.

In that thought I had a eureka moment, I finally knew exactly what I wanted to say to Edward.

"Bella?" Alice asked, I blinked a few times out of habit, reassessing what I was supposed to be focusing on and turned my attention back to her.

"Sorry, I- no, I don't think that it's a good idea for you to involve yourself too much with the memorial service." I knew she liked planning events, but I very much wanted this to be a human thing something simple and real that came from Jake and my dad - and Renee.

She nodded, seeming a little disappointed but also somehow understanding. We sat in silence for a little bit until I heard the thumping of two sets of padded feet and a handful of vampires racing toward the house, I didn't realize it had gotten so late, but it was time for an update on the human front.

Alice and I met the others out front, Jake and Embry took a moment to shift inside the tree line and approached in their shorts, the rest of the vampires already in line with me. Jake huffed out a breath as he stared at the vampires in front of him, I watched him assess the others and his jaw set as he reached Edward. I was sure he wasn't holding back any thoughts about him. But the pause was relatively brief before he moved to meet my eyes.

"We'd previously settled on a date, we now have a time, and a general idea of the order of things for the service. Your dad isn't happy with finishing the search," He glanced at Edward again. "Bella, we can go over anything related to the service later. For now I think it's best we focus on the Cullen's clearing any final suspicions Charlie has. I nodded.

"Charlie hasn't been back so far, but it's only a matter of time. The sooner we handle things the better." Jacob's lips pressed in to a fine line as he looked at me. I could tell he was worried about the possibility of more complications. "We need to work out a plan to let Charlie know the entire family is back in a way that doesn't feed into his concerns." I stepped forward turning to Carlisle.

"I think it would be best for you and Esme to go to the police station and meet him there, you've already spoken to him on the phone. Let him see you and know you're here. Offer to help with whatever he needs and let him know he can come by and meet with you anytime." I sucked in a deep breath. "I think I may need to stay away from the house until the service, or at least until he has seen everyone. But if he's paranoid I'm with any of you he's likely to drop by unannounced, even just to reassure himself."

Carlisle and Esme each nodded in agreement, we decided to have them meet Charlie tomorrow so that there was a little more of a realistic timeline for their return. They had a story planned out and a rough idea about what the coming days would look like.

I wouldn't be able to stay in a hotel or anywhere humans may be, most of my time would need to be spend in the woods until this was all said and done. Even after that I would need to stay out of sight, partially because of my eyes and my thirst, but more because I couldn't have anyone recognize me. Charlie couldn't gain hope once this was all over.

When we were done debriefing, Jake and I went on a walk. He spoke to me about the service and we went over my only request for the day-of which was a speech that would hopefully give true closure to my parents. We decided to wait through the end of the week and see how things went with Charlie and the Cullens. In the mean time we would each write out speeches for the service for when we could get together to compare and combine.

It was well into the night when Jake left headed back to the reservation. I wandered the woods a while before finally heading back to the Cullen's house.

When I got back, Emmett, Jasper and Alice were watching TV in the living room, I could hear Esme and Carlisle each in their offices. Rosalie and Edward weren't around. I felt my brow furrow and Jasper spoke.

"Rosalie asked Edward on a run, there was an incident before she headed here and I think she wanted to talk to him about it."

I nodded and pursed my lips, "Right, the arm thing."

Emmett snickered and Jasper grinned, "Yeah, the arm thing." He said, humor evident in his voice. I offered a smile and moved to sit down.

Emmett flipped through channels more than we watched any of the shows, I began to grow impatient and stood up. I moved up the stairs and found myself in front of Carlisle's study.

"Come in," He called as my fist lifted to knock. I paused and turned the knob, entering the room. He was placing a bookmark in the story in front of him and I smiled to myself knowing that was a human habit he'd picked up. Much of what they did was a human facade, and I liked watching them, noting what I would need to learn to do in the future to fit in.

"Do you happen to have any recordings of vampire history? Things based in fact rather than lore?" I asked.

Carlisle didn't hesitate with his answer, "I don't think you'll find anything on our species. If you did I'd imagine the only place they'd be would be with the Volturi. Though I'd be happy to fill you in on anything you may need."

I pressed my lips together, and after a second shook my head. "I have a lot I want to know, but mostly I want something to do. I figured a dive into the history of my new species would be a good way to get through the next few days. I don't want to pull anyone else from what they're doing."

Carlisle watched me for a moment, "I don't think that anyone would have any trouble with telling you the pieces of history they know. Esme and I will be out tomorrow morning as you've organized, you could use that time to speak with the rest of the family about what they remember. I could tell you what I know at a point where we had more time. But I can also answer any questions that are pressing your mind right now." I shook my head.

"No burning questions at the moment, only curiosity and we have plenty of time for that. I'll consider it speaking to the others." I told Carlisle. He smiled, and I excused myself.

I wandered the house for a while and finally headed back down to the living room. Jasper looked up front the TV, eyebrow cocked. "Feeling antsy?" He asked.

"Wanna go for a run?" I asked, he smiled and stood up.

"Sounds like fun."

If Emmett or Alice were interested in coming along, they didn't express it. Though I wouldn't have minded them the group, it was nice that I was spending some time alone with each of them. I'd only known a little about them as a human, and Jasper had been at the furthest distance in every way then.

We headed out of the house and took off North, I trusted that Jasper knew the boundary of the reservation so I let him lead the way, basking in the feeling of the wind through my hair. We didn't talk for a while and it seemed that Jasper was enjoying the silence as much as I was.

I didn't know how long it had been when it started to rain, it didn't slow either of us down and I wondered vaguely how long we had been out here. I looked at our surroundings and thought I recognized the area we were in, I inhaled and found that I could sense the trail Emmett and I had made on our trip to the Goat Rocks. I glanced over at Jasper and he offered a smile.

"If you want to hunt we can, I just figured you didn't want to stop. We can head back at any time." I didn't respond right away, but pushed myself faster - just slightly. I led the way following the trail Emmett and I had taken. I stopped near the spot where I'd won my battle with the bear. Jasper blew past me and was back a few seconds later.

I looked at the trees around me and jumped up to one of the higher branches above, taking a seat. Jasper did the same in an adjacent tree. The colors of the forest had started to shift and I knew day break was approaching, but I wasn't ready to head back to the house.

"Being out here is really freeing." I said after a while.

"It is, it makes sense. It's in our nature." I turned and looked at him narrowing my eyes slightly.

"None of us actively try to eaves drop, but when you hear everything it can be hard not to hear everything." My face scrunched as I thought about what that could mean and Jasper laughed, assuming correctly where my mind went.

"You've laughed a lot since you got here." I said, assessing him, "I always read you as such a serious person." Jasper shrugged.

"I have to be that way, I can't really afford to relax around humans." I watched his face as he said this, he tried to remain stoic but I could tell how much it weighed on him.

"Do you really believe that?" I could hear the edge in my voice as I said it, Jasper met my eyes. I knew he could sense my irritation and he seemed at a loss for words. "I don't believe that." I said simply turning my focus back to the forest. I was confident in that, and I knew he could feel that.

"That's only because you don't know my history." His voice was solemn.

"Try me."

Jasper went into his history, how he became a vampire. I was shocked to say the least, and disappointed as to what side of history he'd been on. He didn't elaborate much on his idealisms, but hinted that it had more to do with his father's expectations of him than his own personal opinions on the matter. I wanted to talk more about it, but I figured - or rather hoped - that conversation had already occurred.

I listened to him explain what it was like to work for Maria and how it felt to kill all those vampires under her leadership.

He explained how he felt when he left, and how grateful he was to have found Alice. He truly believed she'd saved him, and when he was finished he looked at me. It was easy to tell he was confident that my opinion on his ability for control would have changed, and some opinions I had of him had altered but that one in particular hadn't.

"I know what you want me to say, but I stand by what I said. Actually even more so knowing what you went through as you killed those people."

Jasper was silent, looking at me doubtfully. I rolled my eyes, the man couldn't see beyond his worry.

"I firmly believe you have far more control than you and the rest of your family think you do." Jasper didn't respond and I slid off my branch landing on the forest floor. He took that as our cue and we raced back the way we'd come.

Hello!

I just wanted to add a little note thanking everyone who's been enjoying/following my stories. Seeing comments pop up of people who like my ideas help motivate me, especially after long periods without writing. I appreciate the love of this community!

I also wanted to apologize for the infrequencies in my updates. I'm actively writing two Twilight FanFics, as well as world building and writing a collection of original works. That's a lot of creative directions for my little brain, so thank you for your patience and thank you for coming back to my stories!