Shinji breaks the fourth wall
Ding
"Hey Shinji, Do you wanna try a kiss?" Asuka said, sitting at the table with a bored look on her face.
"They are watching us, Asuka. They watch everything we do."
Shinji sounded almost frightened when saying those words. Asuka raised an eyebrow.
"You mean Section Two?"
He quickly turned to face her with an almost manic look on his face.
"No! Them! The people are always watching us! Criticizing us! Loving Us! Hating us! Can't you see them?!"
The sudden yell from him caused her to nearly jump from her seat.
"Shinji, What the fuck are you talking about?!"
He quickly grabbed her shoulders and shook her.
"The people! They make stories about us! They draw about us! They dress up as us! They even jerk off to us!"
"Have You gone crazy!? You sound Insane!"
"Asuka! The People keep writing stories about us having sex! They Write about Me and Rei, Misato, Kaworu, Ritsuko, Maya, And even my fucking father!"
"They write about me and your diary, Me smoking a fat doobie, My Mom on tape, And even Ritsuko's mom being some weird kinky Commander! I EVEN MET DOOM GUY!"
Asuka quickly got up and backed away.
"What the fuck is wrong with you!?"
"Asuka they jerk off to me in a dress! They Jerk off to you pegging me!"
"What the fuck is pegging!?"
Shinji was in a completely manic state at this point.
"Asuka I know things! Ritsuko's fucking my dad! And He fucked her mom! Your dad fucked the nurse! Misato and Kaji once fucked for a whole week! Why is everyone getting fucked!?"
Asuka's anger grew at that statement.
"ASUKA MISATO DOESN'T HAVE A COUCH! THEY KEEP WRITING ABOUT CUDDLING ON THE COUCH, BUT THERE IS NONE!"
Shinji quickly stopped and turned to face you.
"I know you are reading this."
He knows.
I do know.
The Writer now proceeds to kill off Shinji in a commedic fashion.
What?!
A large foot crashes through the ceiling, stomping on Shinji, followed by a canned laugh from the 70's.
This was an idea I had for a while, and it's better to write it down than to let it fester. This is a crack fic if you couldn't tell. And If it's a crack fic, it won't have good grammar, as per my rules. Anyways Uh…
Did you know that Vaporeon is cool?
-DerpymanMT