I do not own Star Wars or any of the characters.
Long Time no See
Damian set his ship down, staring at the house in silence. There was no welcoming committee. No children ran out to hug him. No bright smiling faces. Not that he expected any. He sighed, standing and walking off of the ship. As he walked to the door, it opened and Barriss appeared in the doorway, eyes watery. Damien felt tears of his own start to form and Barriss stepped forward, enveloping him in a hug.
"We heard about the attack," Barriss said. "I'm so sorry."
"It was inevitable," Damian said. "We were never careful about keeping our base hidden. And we never planned for an attack. Did it say how many escaped?"
"Only one ship," Barriss said. "The rest were shot down."
Damian nodded. He had suspected as much.
"I'm so sorry," Barriss said again, hugging him again. "When we heard, we were so afraid that you were...but now you're here! I'll call Jek and Shaeeah and get them to come back here."
"Is Ahsoka..." Damian trailed off.
"Yes," Barriss said. "She's inside. She needs to see you, Damian. Please, go to her."
"Yeah," Damian sighed. "You can use my ship's communicator to call Jek and Shaeeah."
Barriss nodded, walking to the ship and Damian walked inside, walking to the kitchen where Ahsoka was cutting something.
"Ahsoka?" Damian said, Ahsoka freezing instantly.
She set the knife down instantly and slowly turned toward him, staring. Then, she practically leapt across the entirety of the kitchen, throwing her arms around him and sobbing into his chest. He wrapped his arms around her as well, smiling and tucking his face into her shoulder.
"I'm so sorry!" Ahsoka sobbed. "I'm so sorry for telling you to go away! I'm so sorry for everything! Please don't go again!"
"I'm not," Damian said. "I'm not going anywhere. I swear to you I'm not leaving again."
Ahsoka nodded, her sobs slowly starting to subside.
"I was...s-so s-scared," Ahsoka sobbed. "I-I saw the n-news s-say th-that they all d-died! I-I s-saw the sh-ships b-blowing u-up! A-And th-then...th-they b-blew up the b-base! I-I w-was s-so..."
She began to sob as hard as before again and Damian pulled her tighter against him, walking to the couch and sitting down, keeping Ahsoka in his lap. For several minutes, Ahsoka sobbed into his chest before finally managing to stop nearly a half hour later. Then, she simply sat there.
"I'm sorry," Damian said. "I'm sorry for leaving. I'm sorry I never called. I'm sorry for making you think I died. I'm sorry for being such a worthless piece of shit."
"You're not," Ahsoka said. "You're one of the best men I've ever known. I'm sorry for everything I said back then."
"So am I," Damian said.
Just then, the door opened and Barriss walked in.
"Oh sorry," Barriss said. "I didn't mean to interrupt anything."
"It's alright," Ahsoka said. "Would you mind finishing up dinner?"
"Of course," Barriss smiled. "Jek and Shaeeah are going to be here tomorrow."
"Good," Ahsoka smiled resting her head on Damian's shoulder. "It'll be good to have the family together again."
Damian smiled and nodded, closing his eyes and leaning his head on Ahsoka's. After a little while, Barriss finished the food and they ate in relative silence. After dinner, Damian headed to bed. He hadn't slept since before the job that preceded the attack on Hondo's base, so he was physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted. He needed to sleep. As he lay in bed, drifting in and out of sleep, he found that Ahsoka was suddenly in his room, silently closing the door.
"Am I dreaming?" Damian asked.
"You tell me," Ahsoka said, lying down beside him, resting her head on his chest.
"I feel like I am," Damian said, hand gently trailing along her upper arm. "I hope I'm not."
Ahsoka looked up at him before pushing herself up and staring down at him.
"Is it a good dream?" Ahsoka asked.
"Feels like it," Damian said.
Ahsoka leaned down, gently brushing her lips against his, eyes fluttering closed. Damian sighed, kissing her back, one hand moving to the back of her head. Then, he pushed her away, sighing heavily.
"No," Damian said. "I'm sorry. I can't."
"Why?" Ahsoka asked.
"Because if this is a dream it's not real and if it's real it's just because you're feeling emotional after everything that happened recently," Damian said. "Neither of those options appeal to me, so for now I can't."
Ahsoka smiled slightly and nodded, laying her head back on his chest and wrapping her arms around him, Damian wrapping his own around her. Then, he blinked and we was staring at the ceiling. Daylight streamed through the window and there was no sign of Ahsoka anywhere. Damian stood, changing into something clean, and walked out to the kitchen where Ahsoka and Barriss were eating breakfast.
"Good morning," Barriss greeted, Ahsoka turning around to smile at him as well.
"There's some eggs and bacon on the stove for you," Ahsoka said.
Damian smiled and nodded, getting himself a plate and sitting at the table, the events of the day before, and then of Ahsoka's visit, or maybe his dream, playing through his head. He ate slowly, and yet before he knew it he was out of food, still feeling hollow somehow.
"All you alright?" Ahsoka asked.
"Yeah," Damian nodded. "Barriss, do you still have..."
"I do," Barriss said, lifting his lightsabers from her lap, setting them on the table before him. "I'll bet you're rusty now."
"Probably," Damian smiled. "Would you two mind helping me with that?"
"Gladly," Barriss smiled.
"Sure, I can kick your ass a couple of times," Ahsoka nodded.
Damian grinned, floating all of their dirty dishes to the sink before picking up his lightsaber and walking outside to the field, the other two following. Once outside, Damian extended a lightsaber blade, deciding to start over completely with the basics. Ahsoka and Barriss clearly had different ideas because they both extended their lightsabers, Ahsoka using both, and lunged at him, striking quickly. Damian shouted in surprise, blocking their strikes for several minute before flipping backward, separating his lightsabers and extending the second one, slashing the grass and watching it bend out of the way.
"You already had it set to training mode," Damian smirked.
"I did," Barriss said.
Damian smirked just as both leapt at them, slashing rapidly. Damian rolled to the side then stood, slashing back at them. They blocked the slash before Damian flipped, slashing at Barriss with his other blade. Barriss spun out of the way and Damian landed, rolling aside from a stab by Ahsoka, shoving her with the Force. Then, he turned, blocking Barriss's slash and kicking her in the gut, forcing her backward before stepping forward, slashing her across the stomach. She backed away, retracting her lightsaber blade and Damian turned to Ahsoka, darting forward and slashing at her rapidly. Ahsoka deflected slash after slash before flipping, slashing at him again. He spun, ducking under her blade then slashing as he stood, Ahsoka stepping out of the path of the blade. She slashed again and Damian blocked the blade, twirling his own around it several times before flicking his blade upward, hurling Ahsoka's into the air. She slashed with the other but he slashed the blade downward, slashing from right to left with his left blade. Just before it hit her, however, he froze, the image of Hailey, Kailey, and Raiah lying dead around him flooding his vision.
He dropped his lightsabers, staggering backward then dropping to his knees, hands going to the sides of his head and eyes closed, trying to will the image away. As it faded, he found himself in the fetal position on his side, head in his hands and tears streaming from his eyes.
"Damian?" Ahsoka asked, kneeling in front of him. "Damian what's wrong?"
"I...I can't..." Damian trailed off before wiping his eyes and sitting up, staring at the ground. "I can't...fight."
Barriss and Ahsoka stared at each other. Then, they turned to him.
"Are you...Are you okay?" Ahsoka asked.
"No," Damian said. "I...I can't fight. I keep seeing their faces."
"Whose?" Barriss asked.
"Hondo's crew," Damian said. "My friends."
"It's okay," Ahsoka said. "You don't have to fight. Meditate. You're not as powerful as you once were. Reconnect with the Force. I can tell it's been years since you last meditated."
"What's the point?" Damian asked. "If I can't fight, what's the point of using the Force."
"To protect," Barriss said. "Fighting for the sake of fighting is the Dark Side. The Light Side is to protect and defend. To keep those you love from harm."
Damian stared at her before shifting to lotus position and swallowing hard before closing his eyes. As expected, the memories of the fight and the dead flooded his mind. It both played in slow motion as well as playing normal speed on loop at the same time, ensuring there was no way for him to escape the memories. So, he stopped fighting. And he felt himself begin to sob. The memories continued for several more minutes before finally beginning to fade, the Force slowly beginning to reach him as it once did, slowly flowing through him more and more. After about an hour, he felt himself lift off the ground. Then, finally, the Force washed over him, filling him and flowing through him as it once had. He smiled slightly as it did. It felt warm and comforting after having gone so long without meditating. He missed it.
He spent hours meditating, basking in the feeling and letting it wash over him, calming him and bringing a sense of peace that he hadn't known in years. As time passed, and he continued meditating, he separated his lightsabers, then dismantled them down to the smallest pieces, holding his hands in front of himself with his palms up, the crystals hovering over them, spinning and flipping two inches above each palm as the pieces of the lightsabers floated around and around him in a sphere of alternating and ever-changing orbits, everything moving on a seemingly random path. Finally, he moved his hands, holding them out in front of himself, the lightsabers reconstructing themselves around the crystals and Damian closed his hands around them, opening his eyes and setting his feet down.
He turned, walking inside just as Jek and Shaeeah stepped in from the other door. Both shouted in joy, sprinting forward and leaping at him, Damian laughing and barely catching them.
"My God you two got big," Damian laughed. "What have you been doing?"
"We became smugglers working against the Empire, like you," Jek said.
"For who?" Damian asked. "Who do you work for?"
"Dulheif Ghaar," Jek said.
"Ghaar," Damian growled. "Of course. You're done working for him. And you're done working against the Empire."
"What?" Jek asked. "Why?"
"Because doing that is what got all of my friends killed," Damian said. "I'm not letting that happen to the two of you. And besides, you're going to be working with Barriss and Ahsoka to whip me back into shape."
Jek grinned, a hand resting on his electrostaff.
"Oh, I think someone's eager," Damian grinned. "Good. Let's go and see how good you are. It's been years since I trained you. Let's see what you can do."
Jek nodded, grinning, and they walked outside, Damian extending his lightsaber. Ahsoka and Barriss stood on the back porch with Shaeeah, watching nervously. Damian and Jek stopped facing each other and Jek lunged, swiping at Damian rapidly, his staff humming noisily as it swung and spun through the air. Damian smirked as he blocked and deflected Jek's strikes with his combined lightsabers. He had to admit, Jek had become an expert with the staff. Jek swiped at him from the left and Damian flipped over it, landing on his feet and slashing at Jek only for Jek to helicopter the staff, knocking Damian's blade upward and beginning to swipe at Damian from all sides too fast for Damian to block. Damian grinned, backing away, bobbing and weaving around the strikes, jek grinning as well. It was official, Jek was just as much an adrenaline junkie as Damian.
Damian spun past a swipe and slashed at Jek's back, Jek spinning and blocking the strike, barely managing to get his staff in place before Damian's blade hit it. Then, he swung the other end at Damian's foot. Damian flipped over the swipe and slammed his foot into Jek's forehead, knocking him to the ground and placing his blade at Jek's throat.
"Very well done," Damian grinned. "You've gotten to be truly amazing with that. Better than I ever was."
Jek beamed proudly and Damian helped him up, turning to the porch and smiling at Barriss and Ahsoka nodding. Both smiled in relief and they all headed inside, Damian starting dinner for a change. As he cooked, Jek told of all the adventures and jobs they had been on. Then, when John as able to step away from the stove, he sat down at his spot in the circle they had formed.
"Well, from your tales, it sounds as though Dulheif Ghaar is a great guy to work for," Damian smiled. "He takes care of you, he stands up for you, he got you the best training you could possibly get. He really would sound like a great guy, if I hadn't also worked for him. I know what he's really like, what cost his kindness comes with."
"What do you mean?" Jek asked. "What cost?"
"Shaeeah knows what I'm talking about, don't you?" Damian asked, giving her a stern and knowing look. "Well, how about it Shaeeah? Has he had a private talk with you yet?"
Shaeeah stared at the floor, Barriss and Ahsoka covering their mouths in shock. Jek stared at her in confusion.
"Sis?" Jek asked. "What's he talking about? What private conversation? What cost?"
Shaeeah looked away from the others in silence.
"Oh yeah, Dulheif Ghaar's a dead man," Damian said. "I'm going to rip his head off and shove it down his throat."
"What are you talking about?" Jek asked more forcefully, starting to get angry.
"Dulheif Ghaar cares only about two things," Damian said. "One is self-benefit. Anything that makes life better for himself. The other thing he cares about, is his vices. Alcohol, drugs, killing, gambling, money. Oh, and of course, his favorite: sex."
"Get to the point," Jek said.
"Alright, fine," Damian said. "All of the training and support you got from Dulheif Ghaar came at the cost of your sister selling her body for them."
Jek's mouth fell open and he stared at her in shock.
"You...you did what?" Jek breathed. "I...I didn't want you to know," Shaeeah said. "I knew you looked up to him and you needed a role model. I knew that I could get you trained and get you a role model who at least acted decent around you, so...I did what I had to. I had to look out for my little brother."
"Damian, When you go to kill Dulheif Ghaar, you're taking me," Jek said.
"With pleasure," Damian said. "It won't be long, either. I'm going to go and pay him a visit the next job I do."
"No," Ahsoka said. "You're not going to kill Dulheif Ghaar out of hatred and rage. That's only going to lead you to the Dark Side."
"He's earned it," Damian said.
"So drop a hint with the Empire," Barriss said. "Let them tear each other apart. Just make sure they miraculously know where to go to take out the ships first so that no one can escape."
"Excellent idea," Damian nodded. "I'll send the tip tomorrow. For now, I'm going to spend time with my family, something that's more than long overdue."
"I couldn't agree more," Ahsoka smiled.
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