Stoick had just come out of the inn after the riders had left to go to their dragon training class, Gobber had left for the forge as well so now he was just walking around sighing heavily. He knew Valka was watching their grand children today and Alvin was handling the village because Hiccup was taking a break so he didn't get overworked and pass out again. He'd been trying everything he could to get Hiccup to forgive him but nothing was working, Hiccup was stubborn and clearly still mad about what happened. He looked up at the sky and saw Hiccup fly over on Toothless.
"There he is bud..." Hiccup said taking a deep breath. This was it, the big moment of truth. Toothless whipped around and landed carefully in front of Stoick.
"Hiccup? Is everything okay?" Stoick asked a little shocked his son was before him, "The...other riders already left if you're looking for em..." Stoick added now.
"I wasn't looking for them, Stoick...I was looking for you." Hiccup replied as he got off Toothless and crossed his arms over his chest. Stoick's eyes widened slightly, Hiccup had been looking for him? Why?
"Oh...Right then...Why were you lookin for me?" Stoick asked.
"I wanted to talk to you." Hiccup said then added quickly, "I told you everything about my life from the last 6 years, answered all your questions about everything...and now. I have questions for you." Hiccup stated firmly.
"Alright...I'll answer anything you want to know, Hiccup." Stoick replied now with a little hope in his voice.
"Good because lying to me would be very bad for my decision to forgive you or not...And should I not forgive you today, you will be on a ship back to Berk in 10 minutes...Is that clear?" Hiccup grumbled. Stoick froze slightly and nodded to him.
"Are we...talking here or..." Stoick asked.
"Yes we are talking here. I suppose the only question I have for you would be this..." Hiccup trailed off staring at him coldly. Stoick leaned forward a bit to listen, "Why do you hate me so much." Hiccup asked.
"I–I don't hate you, Hiccup. You're my son...I could never hate you. Why in Odin's name would you think such a thing?" Stoick replied quickly.
"Its sad that I can predict what you're going to say before you say it. And what you just gave me is a lie." Hiccup scoffed angrily.
"No...not its not son...I swear I'm telling you the truth. I don't hate you." Stoick tried to step towards him but Toothless snarled at him making him step back. Why did Hiccup think he was lying, he wasn't. He truly didn't hate him. Stoick's eyes looked around, people from the village were starting to form around them. Valka and Alvin came by as well, and the riders from Berk. Seemed everyone was beginning to crowd around the two wondering what was going on.
"Then answer me this...Why did you hate me." Hiccup stated coldly.
"I–I never hated you son..." Stoick said again. Hiccup's eyes narrowed as he put his hands curled in to fists at his sides.
"For the love of Thor, stop lying to me!" Hiccup yelled now. He was done playing games with Stoick, he was getting his answers. He knew everyone was around, he didn't care either. Nothing was going to stop him. Stoick backed up, he only saw this much anger once in Hiccup and it was the day he had been cast out. "You have hated me for as long as I can remember and I want to know why!" Hiccup growled angrily.
"Hiccup I...I never hated you..." Stoick forced out.
"Clearly this conversation is far above your intelligence level, Stoick so I'll make it easier for you...How old was I when you made me Gobber's apprentice?" Hiccup crossed his arms over his chest.
"Yo–you were...4..." Stoick replied.
"And why did you make your 4 year old son whom you claim not to hate, work in the forge as a blacksmith apprentice?" Hiccup asked angrily.
"I needed...Gobber to watch you when I was chiefing..." Stoick replied cautiously.
"You couldn't of, I don't know taken me with you? I was your son after all. Your only son. The heir of Berk. The only piece of mom you had left who you chose to abandon under your best friend. Why...Why did you stay away from me! Did I remind you of mom? Is that it? Only piece of her left and you ignored me because what, it was to painful to be around me?" Hiccup pressed further.
Stoick looked to Valka for help, she only crossed her arms over her chest and stared back. "Don't look at me for help, Stoick. You did this. You wanted Hiccup to talk to you, now he is." Valka reminded firmly.
"See there you go again. Avoiding me and looking to someone else for help so you don't have to deal with me directly. Well sorry to continue to be your disappointment but this time...I'm not just going to push it aside and say he's busy, I'm not going to let it go. We'll stand here all day but I promise you that neither of us are moving until I get what I came for." Hiccup sneered out.
"Hiccup I..." Stoick began.
"Enough. I came looking for you for one reason, Stoick. I know you've wanted to talk to me, you have since you found out it was me under the mask and I've purposely avoided and ignored you. I know you've been trying to you make nice with my father to get in my good graces again, to have me forgive you. But you know...with all you've tried to do...It's not enough." Hiccup told him, a few people gasped. "I'm not the kind of man who goes looking for a reason, not someone who looks for more. Oh but with you...no. With you, for once I need more. I came here today to try and forgive you but I can't because even now...You can't even be honest with me." Hiccup glared.
"If its not enough...then tell me what I have to do son. I'll do it...I'll do anything." Stoick pleaded.
"Runa. Viggo. Thora...cover your ears for a minute..." Hiccup stated, he knew they were in the group standing with his mother and he didn't want them to hear this.
"Yes daddy..." Runa replied as the three of them covered their ears tightly.
"You know what will make it enough, Stoick..." Hiccup stated coldly.
"What...What will make it enough, Hiccup...please tell me..." Stoick asked.
"FOR ONCE IN YOUR DAMN LIFE, FUCKING CARE ABOUT ME!" Hiccup exploded, a few people took a step back. They'd never seen their chief get so angry and at one person in particular. "And don't even try to say that you have, did, or do because its yak shit. Do you have any idea how much I suffered on Berk, on the island that was supposed to be my home? I suffered hateful comments that I was useless. I suffered physical beatings from the people you protect. I was constantly teased, picked on, beat on, hurt, wounded, and hated and honestly I think I could of handed it all...if just once...You fucking cared about me. If instead of letting it happen, you stopped it. If you asked if I was okay. If you made a single, solitary effort to be my father instead of be my chief! My nickname in the village was Hiccup the Useless because I couldn't do anything right! Well, who the hell was teaching me!?" Hiccup yelled.
"I–I..." Stoick started not sure what to say.
"It certainly wasn't the one person who should of been! Meaning YOU!" Hiccup glared. "Of all the jobs you had, your first should of been me. You know, your kid. Up until I was 16, I didn't have a mom. And clearly...I didn't have a dad either. You didn't teach me how to fight. You didn't help me with my problems. You didn't do anything with me except tell me to stop damaging things with my unrealistic inventions! All you did was scold me constantly and in front of the entire village! I was so hated everyone wanted you to claim Snotlout as your heir and make him chief of Berk when you retired. Yeah...I heard everything. I heard these things as young as 6...do you have any idea the emotional damage I suffered? All because you didn't care...I think the only time you did care about something I did was when Toothless charged in to the kill ring to save my life. That's when something I did mattered to you! And even then...instead of listening to me...you cast me out." Hiccup growled.
"All this..." Hiccup motioned to Dragons Edge. "This is what I could of done for Berk if you'd given me just 5 minutes of your precious time! But no...You cast me out and told me if I ever came back, you'd kill me on sight. Well...you didn't even do that. Because the night I showed up on Berk and stopped the raid, you didn't kill me." Hiccup added.
"We didn't know it was you!" Stoick replied.
"Oh, so you would of killed me if you knew it was me?" Hiccup asked now, "Further proves my point that you did hate me. Enough to kill your own son." Hiccup couldn't resist laughing sarcastically now.
"N–No we wouldn't of, Hiccup...W–we told you...well Strike, who was you that we wanted you back home...Where you belong." Stoick said as calmly as he could. Hiccup's laughter stopped to a dead halt as he glared at the man before him.
"That's right, isn't it...You all suddenly changed your minds after one...just one man stood up and told you what a horrible mistake you made throwing me out. And that man is right there...Fishlegs Ingerman." Hiccup said pointing to him. "Want to know what else is sad, Stoick...The night I saved your village...and the moment you saw me fly in you called me Hiccup. No hesitation, no asking if I was him or not...just assumed because I came in on Night Fury..." Hiccup began.
"Y–yes I remember but you...made it clear you weren't him...even though you were..." Stoick responded.
"I didn't make anything clear actually. I just told you to get back so I could deal with the raid. And that's what's sad...you still haven't realized it yet..." Hiccup shook his head with a chuckle.
"Realized...what?" Stoick asked.
"If you remember that night so well then tell me why you didn't realize that moment that I never denied it being me?" Hiccup asked with a grin. There was a round of gasps as Stoick's eye's opened wide. That's right, he didn't. That night when he flew in to stop the raid and Stoick said his name, all Hiccup said was to get back because he was the only thing standing between them and dragons tearing the village apart. Then afterwards when Stoick said his name again, Hiccup had said if that was anyway to thank someone who saved their asses. "Oh oh...did we remember now? That's right...you said my name twice but never once did I deny it was me. It was your own assumption that because I wore the mask and commanded the alpha to stop the raid, and had children that you thought I was someone else and then continued to believe it until I took the mask off the night I fought the queen..." Hiccup stated.
"Oh Hiccup...I–I'm so sorry son..." Stoick said in a slightly cracked tone. Was he upset, or going to cry? Hiccup didn't care.
"Sorry doesn't answer my original question, Stoick. I told you, I came here for a reason and we aren't leaving this spot until I get it. Why did you hate me? Why did you ignore me? Abandon me? That is what I want to know. I want to know what the hell I ever did for you to hate me so much that even before I trained a dragon...caused you to hate me so much." Hiccup stated firmly. The area was quiet, everyone honestly wanted to know too.
Stoick sighed closing his eyes. "I never hated you, Hiccup."
"Still going to deny it? Alright, lets go deeper then. I can do this all day, I don't care. Its my day off...Lets ask again only I'll use something that I'm sure will get you talking..." Hiccup stated calmly as he closed his eyes and took off his armor then black tunic, standing there shirtless and approaching Stoick so he'd be able to see. "You did hate me. You didn't love me, that's for sure. If you loved me even a quarter of what you loved Berk with...Then I wouldn't of done this to myself..." Hiccup stated holding his wrists out showing the old scars from when he used to cut back on Berk. Stoick stumbled back a little, they were still there. "If you had loved me, cared for me, taught me, protected me...all the things a father is supposed to do for their child...then I wouldn't of wanted to end my life just to get away from you but thankfully...I met Toothless and he became my only friend, and it was enough to make you cast me out and I still managed to get away from you." Hiccup growled out as he stepped back putting his tunic and armor back on.
Stoick wasn't say anything now, what could he say? "Nothing to say now, do you? Knowing I wanted to kill myself just because of you. I didn't care what the village did to me, I didn't care they hated me or hurt me...None of that ever bothered me, Stoick. What honestly bothered me the most...was knowing that the one person in the world who was supposed to care about me, didn't. The one person who was supposed to love me, didn't. And that person was you." Hiccup said in a cold tone. "So lets try one more time, hm? Why. Did. You. Hate. Me." Hiccup glared darkly.
"It wasn't that I hated you, Hiccup...I just...couldn't handle you being so different, like your mother was." Stoick finally said lowly.
"Didn't hear you. Say it again." Hiccup said, he'd heard him. He wanted everyone to hear it.
"I didn't hate you. I couldn't handle you being different like your mother was." Stoick said louder now, enough to be heard by everyone.
"That wasn't so hard now was it, to tell me the truth? Believe me, I already knew what it was about. I just wanted you to say it." Hiccup stated calmer now. Stoick kept his head down. "I told you, being so hated by everyone including you...I was invisible in the village. I could be standing in front of someone and not be noticed, so I heard a lot of things. Like...'Oh look, it's the chief's son. I heard the chief can't even look at him without thinking about his wife...' or 'Valka was always different, not wanting to kill dragons. She was too kind, this kid is no different. No wonder the chief stays away from him...' Oh and my favorite, 'He'll never be one of us. He's going to destroy this place once he's old enough to face dragons because he won't kill them, he'll be just like his mother...he'll be the downfall of Berk.'." Hiccup said with his arms over his chest.
"Huh, imagine that. Even back then people were calling it, so when I shot Toothless down, and couldn't kill him...I guess those things came back to me and that's why I couldn't do it. Because it was wrong to kill dragons. Mom told me the night she came here and I found out who she was...she told she believed peace was possible, but no one agreed with her either. You didn't cast her out, why because she was your wife and you loved her. The night she was taken by Cloud Jumper, you lost yourself. And ever since you hated me...because I'm just like her." Hiccup said with such a hateful tone.
"Its true...I won't lie to you...Every time I looked at you, I saw her..." Stoick closed his eyes.
"So let me ask this then...She was different. She didn't want to kill dragons. Right?" Hiccup asked, he nodded as Hiccup checked to make sure his kids still had their ears covered. "THEN HOW COME YOU LOVED HER REGARDLESS OF HER BEING DIFFERENT, BUT HATED ME FOR THE SAME THING!? For the love of Odin, it makes no sense and its been eating away at me for YEARS. You didn't cast her out when she wanted peace, why the fuck did I get cast out for wanting the same. I even had proof that day! I almost wish Toothless's tail was automatic...so he could of come in and grabbed me, taking me away just like Cloud Jumper did to mom! Why the hell was I treated differently! You claim to not like anything different, then why was I treated differently!" Hiccup yelled angrily.
Stoick didn't speak, Hiccup's anger was getting the better of him now, he'd never felt this much rage all at once. "ANSWER ME DAMN IT! Why the hell couldn't you love me! Me! The only piece of her you had left! You loved her regardless, why not me! That's the only thing I want to know and it's the one answer you can't give me!" Hiccup growled. "But you know what...Given that its taking this much effort to get one answer from you...Its no longer worth my time. I woke up before the sun rose and went flying today, I've been trying to forgive you since the eel pox incident. But Gods, I just couldn't and I didn't know why. Then I talked to Astrid and she told me something that made sense...she told me that the reason I can't forgive you...is because I can't accept you...because you never accepted me. And its sad to say but I'm starting to think you never will." Hiccup said calming down.
"Th–that's not true, Hiccup...I do accept you." Stoick said quickly now.
"ENOUGH!" Hiccup snapped in a cold tone. "I am done, Stoick. Whether it was on Berk, or here...you still don't care. I tried to make inventions there, it was destruction. I do it here, and nothing still. Even will all I've done in 6 years. Building this place, making it a paradise for dragons and humans...its still not enough for you to accept you. Just like I can't accept you. Because you deciding a second too late that you made a mistake casting me out isn't enough for me." Hiccup crossed his arms over his chest as his eyes fell on Astrid, "Sorry Astrid...I gave it my best, but some minds won't be changed...And he...will never change. And people incapable of change aren't welcome on my island." Hiccup said calmly as his eyes faced Stoick. "Leave." Hiccup ordered pointing to the direction of the docks.
There were a round of gasps. Hiccup never made anyone leave if they didn't want too. Stoick's eyes widened. "Y–you're making me leave?" Stoick asked.
"I didn't stutter, Stoick. There is a ship on the docks with a course set for Berk. Make your way towards it, I want you off my island in 10 minutes. I told Astrid this morning and I'll make it known formally...The riders and Gobber and welcome to stay as long as they like or they may reside here permanently. That choice is theirs entirely, and if they choose to leave...they are welcome back any time." Hiccup stated firmly.
"You can't make me leave, Hiccup...please...I know I made bad choices after I thought your mother died but–..." Stoick began but Hiccup's eyes grew darker with anger.
"I wouldn't go there if I were you. And that is your only warning..." Hiccup stated emotionlessly. "Bad choices...that's what you're going to use as an excuse. Pathetic. Truly it is. You're going to blame hating me on that? Well let me slowly pick apart your reasoning then...let me break it down for you with a simple sentence." Hiccup bent forward slightly, "You THOUGHT she died." Hiccup stated. Stoick's eyes widened, "Just like you assumed I was dead after 7 years, like you believed 'Strike' when he said I had killed myself. You had no proof, nothing to make it true. Everything you've done, Stoick...has been a choice. You weren't forced to make them either. All a choice. A choice to stop your searches for mom. Which by the way...her nest was a 8 day sail North of here. Moving on, a choice to ignore me, to not care, not love. A choice to hate me. That's all we get in life, Stoick. Choices, they define us. They are what make us what and who we are." Hiccup said firmly.
"I didn't choose your mother being taken that night!" Stoick yelled at him now.
"And I didn't choose for my wife to get killed by the Red Death!" Hiccup snapped, Stoick backed up now. "I didn't choose for my kids to be without a mother! I didn't choose for my wife to die in my arms 3 years ago! For the fuck of it, I didn't even choose to be cast out of Berk!" Hiccup growled.
"Yes you did, Hiccup. You said go ahead and cast me out. That you didn't care..." Stoick argued.
"Exactly. I didn't care! Another thing you missed! What a shocker that you DIDN'T LISTEN TO ME, again! I said I didn't care if I was cast out or not. Which means...YOU CHOSE TO CAST ME OUT! That was ALL you! You chose that! And I chose to just accept it. I never belonged on Berk anyway." Hiccup calmed himself down seeing Stoick's eyes widen with realization. "Everything you have done...has been a choice. You chose to hate me when you lost mom. You chose not to keep looking for her. You chose to put me under Gobber so you wouldn't have to deal with me. You chose to yell at me in front of everyone. That was all a choice, Stoick! Your choice. And those choices have brought you where you are today, standing in my village, being yelled at by me. By the son you claim to care about, the son you chose not to care about. Funny how the tables turned huh? I hate to admit it but you and me are more a like than you thought, but how we carry things out are incredibly different." Hiccup stated.
"You said after you lost mom, you couldn't bare the sight of me because I reminded you of her? When I lost my wife, I held and still hold my children every single day. I never let them out of my sight and I always know what they are doing. Those kids are my life! I'd be dead without them, they are the only thing that keep me going. You cast me out of the village, I made a new one. A place where I can be me, where I'm accepted, where I belong. And all it took was me getting away from you to realize how much better my life could be. You say a dragon took mom, so you spend every day trying to kill every dragon around for 21 years?! And for Thor's sake...at least mom is alive. The Red Death killed my wife. I'll never get her back and yet...I didn't hate dragons, just the queen so I killed just her and let the rest go. Yes, my children remind me of Camicazi. Every single day, but the difference between you and me, Stoick is that I don't push them off because it hurts me to see them. I miss my wife every moment, every second, of every day...And those 3 beautiful, amazing children over there...are my only reminder of her. They don't remind me that she's gone, they remind me she was here and although she is gone...they are still here and Cami lives on in them. I will always have Cami with me, where ever I go...Those children...are my only piece of Cami I have left...so I treasure them with all my love. I know I can't be there every second, of every day for them...but damn it I do my best to see them every free moment I get." Hiccup took a breath now.
"Hiccup I...please...please give me a chance to change..." Stoick pleaded him. "I'll do anything...I can be the father you want me to be...Please, Hiccup..." Stoick begged on his knees now.
"Its not about what I want. The point is that I shouldn't of had to get this way to make you understand that the only thing I ever needed from you was for you to be my father, not because I wanted you to be but because you were supposed to be. I became a chief at 16, I became a husband and father at 17...and a father again at 18, then I lost my wife at 19...You think I wasn't terrified when these things happened...So much pressure on kid, a teenager. Trust me, being chief here I can see the struggles you went through but never once has any of this chiefing as you refer to it...never once has it interfered with what mattered most and that would be my children. I give them all the love and care they'll ever need, every day. Its top of my list, and it is something I never stop doing because it is something that never stops. Children are meant to be cherished, to be given the chance to grow with guidance. To be taught how to take on the world and that is something they pass to their children. So on and so forth...You never did those things for me, so I went in blind when I became a father. I knew nothing...Had nothing to pass to them, I just went with what felt right to me. But what bothers me the most of all this..." Hiccup sighed closing his eyes and stepped back from Stoick.
"What hurts the most is knowing that in the year of being cast out to becoming chief, then marrying Cami and having Viggo, then Thora, and adopting Runa...Alvin was more a father to me than you ever were. He let me design this place, he become someone I could trust and talk too. He took care of me, protected me...adopted me. Your enemy took me in and named me his heir...and then let me build this place to my vision. And this...is what it became. And even after learning who I was, who again I never denied I was...even all this wasn't enough for you to accept me. All you cared about was that I was alive, and you thought you might get a second chance to do right...You take no interest in what I can do, Stoick. No interest that I can train dragons, that I stopped a 300 year war, that I made a village, that I run it...that I have children who are technically your grandchildren...none of this...what I've done matters to you. All you want is for me to come back to Berk to be your son again. I've done things that would make the Gods proud..." Hiccup trailed off now as Stoick and anyone else who could see Hiccup's face saw there were tears brimming his eyes and threatening to fall. "But even that...isn't enough for you to be proud of me, to accept me for who I am...and that is what hurts the most." Hiccup stated as he backed up more and swung his leg over Toothless and climbed in the saddle positioning his feet.
"Hiccup please...!" Stoick reached his hand out.
Hiccup put his head down, clearly trying to hide his tears from sight. "I am done with this meeting. You have exactly 1 minute to get to the ship and get off my island, Stoick Haddock.. As for Astrid, Fishlegs, Snotlout, Ruffnut, Tuffnut, and Gobber...My offer stands, you may stay here permanently or until you feel like returning to your home island. Either way, you are welcome back any time you desire. Mother, if you desire to go with him, that is fine. You as well are welcome back whenever. And Stoick, this is no longer a request...this is an order from me, Hiccup Holgerson. Chief of the Dreki tribe to Dragons Edge. Failure to comply will result in immediate capture and imprisonment...Father, see to it he finds his way to the docks." Hiccup said as he opened Toothless's tail, Alvin nodded to him. Hiccup didn't even have to give Toothless the command to fly, he just knew to take off fast.
No one knew what to do right now, they'd never seen Hiccup get like this before. So cold and forceful, they watched as Alvin lifted Stoick to his feet and began leading him towards the docks slowly. "I'm...sorry Stoick. Chief's orders..." Alvin stated quietly.
"It's not...your fault, Alvin. I did this...I lost him and that is something I will have to live with forever...Can I...just ask that you make sure my wife is taken care of..." Stoick replied.
"On me word, Stoick." Alvin nodded. Gobber sighed as he started towards the docks now.
"I'll go back with him...you lot stay here for now. He trusts you as friends, maybe you can get him to come around. Stoick hasn't been banished, just told to leave but if he ever returned before Hiccup says he can...well you heard him. Stoick will be captured and imprisoned for trespassing. And as chief, Hiccup could punish him severely. I know Stoick won't risk this given there could be the slightest chance that Hiccup changes his mind. Stay safe, I'll let your parents know. Send word if anything changes." Gobber stated.
"We will, Gobber..." Astrid nodded. Gobber followed after Alvin and Stoick. The group of riders sighed as Valka stepped in to the middle of the large circle now.
"Everyone back to work!..." Valka ordered, they all nodded and dispersed returning to their work. Valka then led the children back to Hiccup's house with a sigh.
"What do we do?..." Snotlout asked looking at the others.
"I–I don't know...even on Berk...I never saw Hiccup get like that. He's always been very calm and quiet...I think maybe we should just give him his time to cool off...that was pretty heated. Come on...lets go put our dragons in the stables and see if we can help out around the village..." Astrid sighed. She'd hoped that things would work out between Stoick and Hiccup but that wasn't the case, if she had to guess. Hiccup tried his best to make Stoick understand how badly he treated him on Berk, and Stoick saw it to late, after Hiccup was past a point of no return with his anger. And now, Stoick had probably lost his last chance to ever get Hiccup's forgiveness. Astrid didn't blame Hiccup for being upset, she just hoped he was okay.