6 months since the day they made things official and still were going strong as ever. Fishlegs and Astrid both had permanent homes on Dragons Edge, and Fishlegs was a full dragon rider too. The village had never had more peace either, everyone was happy. Hiccup and Astrid saw each other every day on top of seeing his kids and running the village, but of course everyone still wanted to know when he'd propose to her. They all saw how happy Astrid made Hiccup, how happy they made one another so it was only a matter of time but yet Hiccup still didn't feel ready to go through all that again. Which was fine by Astrid, she understood. Marriage was supposed to be a forever thing, nothing something you just did because you could.
Hiccup had been married once and now had three beautiful children regardless the fact one was adopted. But now the questions came of when he'd make Astrid his wife, they couldn't just date forever right? Hiccup loved her, and his kids loved her so why was he still hesitating on asking her. He wasn't scared, was he? Hiccup needed to figure it out and luckily today was his day off and he was taking the kids to visit his mother and father on Berk for the day, Astrid and Fishlegs were coming too so they could visit their parents.
This was good because Hiccup could talk to his mom about all this, and Stoick too. In the 6 months, Hiccup had fully forgiven Stoick and referred to him as his father again. Now Stoick was working on getting in the kids lives, so every two weeks on his day off he'd go to Berk or they'd come to dragons edge to visit. It was just after breakfast now as he was loading up on Toothless while his kids sat waiting by Sunflower. Taking a boat would take to long so he was going to let Thora and Viggo ride with him, and Runa who insisted on riding with Astrid. Fishlegs would be flying solo, which he was fine with.
"Alright, are we ready?" Hiccup asked as he jumped on Toothless's back and clicked open the tail.
"Ready chief." Astrid and Fishlegs said saluting.
"Ready daddy." The three kids replied.
"Dad, we'll be back by dinner! If you need me, send Savage to Berk." Hiccup called to Alvin.
"Right-o lad. Have fun." Alvin called back waving.
"Viggo, Thora. Lets go. Runa, you can ride with Astrid but you stay seated and do whatever she tells you, alright?" Hiccup said. Runa nodded happily as she rushed over to Astrid who pulled her up and set her in front, tying a rope around Runa then to Stormfly. At least if she fell, Astrid could get her without falling in to the water. Fishlegs mounted on Meatlug as Hiccup secured Viggo and Thora to him. "Take us to Berk, Toothless." Hiccup said to his friend. Toothless warbled happily as he took to the sky, Stormfly and Meatlug following.
The trip to Berk was mostly quiet, it wasn't a long flight. Maybe 4 hours tops, Hiccup's mind was on everything else and hoped he'd be able to take this day off and figure it all out. "So, Fishlegs. What are you doing when we get there?" Astrid decided to ask to break the silence.
"Visiting my parents, the twins, Snotlout, and get some things from my old house. You?" Fishlegs asked her back.
"Same, visiting mom and our friends. And I promised Runa we could play a few games as long as Hiccup's cool with it." Astrid said looking to Hiccup now.
"Its fine with me, I trust you with my kids. I gotta handle some business with my father today anyway so you mind taking Viggo and Thora too?" Hiccup questioned.
"I don't mind at all. They are always well behaved with me and I love hanging out with them." Astrid giggled a little. "And its your day off, you're not supposed to be working." Astrid reminded.
"But if I'm there and things come up, I may as well handle them." Hiccup shrugged.
"True." Fishlegs smiled brightly.
"Did Snotlout and the twins ever finish their training?" Astrid asked now.
"Yeah actually. They took their final test about a month ago, you ended up staying behind for that trip because you were working on your house." Hiccup informed them.
"How is Snotlout's training as heir going?" Fishlegs asked curiously.
"As far as I know well. Dad thinks he'll be ready to take over in a year or so, he's taking it seriously. Not my place to judge, I never got chief training." Hiccup chuckled.
"And its still amazing that you do it so well." Astrid giggled lightly.
"Its not all that hard." Hiccup smiled while they continued to fly over the mass ocean below them. Hiccup stayed quiet now as Astrid and Fishlegs began to talk among themselves, he thought about the last 6 months since he and Astrid became an official couple. He did love her, there was no doubt about that but why did he hesitate in asking her to marry him. In his wildest dreams as a teenager he wanted this. To be with Astrid and now that he was, he was scared to take the next step. They'd been taking it slow, they didn't spend the night at one another's houses, or make love, not even make out.
Hiccup always felt like something was preventing him from doing it but he couldn't figure out what and deep down he felt like Astrid was hurt by it, because Hiccup had done those things with Camicazi when he was merely 16, here he was 21 and never did more than a light kiss, hug, or hand holding. He was mad at himself about it, he hoped today would offer some answers for him. Also in the last 6 months, Runa had turned 8, and Viggo turned 5. Hiccup's birthday had come and gone too, turned 22 but he didn't care so much. His birthday was in fact, a month before Astrid's.
Birthday to him just meant he was another year older, nothing special. He thought about Astrid's birthday now which was actually in a week. Funny that their birthdays were so close together, and he wanted to propose then if he could gather the strength to do so. He sighed looking forward again, they'd been flying for 4 hours. Berk should be just ahead of them, like always Hiccup prayed to Odin and Cami to give him strength to get through this. There were still a few on Berk who disagreed with the dragons having peace with humans, and didn't like that Stoick had allowed dragons to be on their island but Stoick didn't care. The only dragons there were Hookfang, Barf, Belch, Cloud Jumper, and Thornado.
Hiccup chuckled a little at the thought, Thornado was actually a Thunderdrum and he was Stoick's dragon. Yes, Valka managed to her husband riding on dragon back. It shocked Hiccup to say the least, and that was the day Hiccup forgave him fully and said that he'd earned himself the right to call Hiccup his son again, in return Hiccup would call him dad again. "Are we almost there, Hiccup? Meatlug is getting a little tired." Fishlegs called to him.
"Yeah, should be just ahead of us Fishlegs." Hiccup replied.
"Runa's getting tired too, Hiccup. She's yawned 5 times in the last 15 minutes." Astrid told him.
Hiccup looked forward again, he saw the markers signaling Berk. "There it is!" Hiccup smiled.
"Yay!" The kids cheered as they flew through the two stone markers and towards the islands new landing strip, had actually been Snotlout's idea. A good one too. Hiccup landed, then Astrid, then Fishlegs as Stoick and Valka came forward to greet them. Snotlout and the twins rushed over too as Hiccup got off Toothless then helped Viggo and Thora down who rushed to Valka's arms. Hiccup helped Astrid and Runa down next, Runa rushing to join her brother and sister in a hug from their grandmother, then one from Stoick.
"Safe flight I hope?" Stoick asked as he shook Hiccup's hand then hugged him.
"Always. How's things been here?" Hiccup asked lightly.
"Same as always." Valka added in as she hugged Hiccup next.
"Hey Hiccup, I'm gonna go see my parents. When we leaving?" Fishlegs asked him.
"Sunset." Hiccup replied, Fishlegs nodded and ran off.
"I'm gonna go see my mom okay?" Astrid smiled as she kissed Hiccup's cheek and walked towards her house. Hiccup sighed heavily, yeah she was hurt by the questions in his mind.
"Well, I can see you have some things on your mind son. Want to talk about them?" Stoick offered.
"I was hoping to talk to you and mom about it, if that's alright?" Hiccup asked.
"Of course son, is it suitable for the kids?" Valka asked.
"Not really...Babe...hold up!" Hiccup called to Astrid before she got out of earshot. "Can you take the kids for now? Business stuff ya know? I'll come get them from you in an hour or so, that okay?" Hiccup asked her, she walked back over smiling.
"I told you, I don't mind at all. I'll introduce them to my mother. Take your time, come on kids." Astrid summoned them with a happy smile. Runa, Viggo, and Thora rushed over and they all walked away. Hiccup closed his eyes as Stoick and Valka walked towards their house now with Hiccup following closely.
(Stoick & Valka's)
They'd been sitting quietly for perhaps 10 minutes, Stoick and Valka just staring at Hiccup waiting for him to say something. They could see something was eating at him but he didn't know where to start. "How are you and Astrid son?" Valka asked gently.
"Great...we're great...being boyfriend and girlfriend...still." Hiccup sighed out.
"You're not though, are you?" Stoick offered calmly. It was clear on Hiccup's face and Stoick could see that, so could his wife. Hiccup finally got up walking around the room clearly frustrated about it all.
"No! No I'm not. I mean yes I'm happy being with her, I love her to death...but I'm not happy just being her boyfriend anymore..." Hiccup grumbled out.
"Then why haven't you proposed to her son?" Valka asked curiously.
"That's my problem! I want to and I've gotten close so many times...but I just can't. And I don't know why the hell not...I keep hesitating." Hiccup finally plopped back down in the chair closing his eyes.
"Is it because of Camicazi?" Stoick asked now.
"No...She wants me to move on and be happy." Hiccup sighed heavily.
"That's not what I mean son..." Stoick leaned forward now putting a hand on his son's shoulder.
"What are you talking about then dad...I am confused enough as it is..." Hiccup mumbled.
"Hiccup. You're scared to propose to Astrid because of what happened to Camicazi..." Stoick sighed, Hiccup looked at him now, wanting more of an explanation. "Think about everything, how happy were you with Camicazi? You married her, had kids with her...you felt like nothing could ever take it away from you. And then...you lost her and it was never the same again, was it?" Stoick began.
"No, it wasn't. Still isn't...But what does that have to do with–..." Hiccup started.
"You're afraid of it happening again, of something taking away your happiness. That's why you won't ask her, because every time you do...the fear reminds you what happened last time you let yourself be this happy. You're afraid to take her as your wife because you don't want it to happen again, you don't want to be hurt again or your kids." Stoick said. Hiccup's eyes widened now, that actually...made a lot of sense to him. So it was fear but he didn't understand why there was fear. Now he did.
"You can't let fear control you son. What happened to Camicazi was sad, and very unfortunate. It still hurts you but...she wants you to move on with Astrid. You know this already, you can't be afraid that what happened to Cami, will happen to Astrid too. You can't let fear stop you from being happy, you have to tell yourself that it won't happen again. You know in your heart, Hiccup...that there was nothing you could of done to stop what happened with Camicazi. She never heard your announcement, and got blown off course...that wasn't something you could of stopped. I know you still blame yourself..." Valka said softly.
"I do...Gods I still do...I shouldn't of...let her go that day...should of made sure she knew..." Hiccup felt tears forming in his eyes.
"Hiccup. Listen to me. You COULD NOT have stopped it. If you were meant to stop it, you would have but you didn't. You couldn't. I know you don't want to hear it but it's the truth son. Everything that happens, happens for a reason. There was nothing you could of done...Camicazi was taken to do greater things, like be your guide, to protect you from a higher power. She came to you, and told you to move on. You take the past and you learn from it, yes. You couldn't stop Cami...but now you know because of your past to make sure...everyone knows and hears your warnings. Hiccup I didn't even know about it...For Thor's sake, it could of been me who flew off course and gotten killed. It could of been anyone! But it wasn't, it was Camicazi...she died protecting a little girl who you call your daughter and worship every minute you get, with all your kids." Valka said calmly but enough so Hiccup would understand.
"Your mother is right son. I know a lot things happen in life that aren't fair, we lose things precious to us, and it changes everything. Like with me...I lost your mother, and let fear control me but it came off as anger and hate towards you. You lost your wife and you cherish every day with them. Your mother and I met again, and you fell in love with Astrid...everything that happened, has happened because it was supposed to, Hiccup. You can't let fear stop you from being happy. What happened to your former wife, won't happen to Astrid because now you know to make sure people hear your warnings...Just like your mother said, now you know to take precautions..." Stoick added with a nod.
"I need to think about this...I know I'm scared...Gods I'm terrified to be this happy again, afraid it'll all come crashing down..." Hiccup sighed as he got up and left the house, then whistling for Toothless he climbed on his back and took off. Not far just flying around to clear his head about everything.
(Astrid's Mom's)
"The children are just darling, Astrid." Her mother, Asta gleamed.
"They are, aren't they. Hiccup's done an amazing job with them..." Astrid smiled softly.
"And how are you two doing?" Asta asked sitting down with some tea now.
"We're good, happy being together." Astrid replied.
"You want more, don't you dear?" Asta said lightly. Astrid nodded sighing.
"We said when we started this...we'd take it slow and see where it went but...it's been 6 months mom...I mean...I get why but are we just going to date forever?" Astrid looked down with her eyes closed.
"Oh sweetheart. You won't, what Hiccup has been through takes its toll. When I lost your father...I didn't know what I'd do with myself. And I will always love him, but it can't stop me from living my life. I had to take care of you and I promised myself that if I was ever to love again, I wouldn't let what happened with your dad stop me from being happy. And you'll see, it'll be okay." Asta put her hand over Astrid's gently.
"Your mommy is right, Astrid. My daddy loves you so much." Runa giggled.
"I know he does sweetie but I think he still loves your mommy a little more." Astrid smiled weakly.
"Daddy will always love mommy but...she wants him to be happy with you. He's just scared." Runa sat on Astrid's lap now.
"Scared...?" Astrid asked.
"Yeah, he's scared to lose you too." Viggo added smiling as he played on the floor with Thora.
"Lose me? I'm not going anywhere though..." Astrid mentioned confused now.
"I think what the little ones are trying to say dear is that Hiccup is scared to let himself be happy, because the last time he was...he lost his wife. And now he's afraid to let himself be that happy again, because he doesn't want to lose it all again. Its fear and I know its hard to wait but you have to let him work that out on his own. He will in time." Asta said calmly.
"Yep, that's right." Runa nodded with a wide smile. Astrid was a little shocked now, how did an 8 year old and 5 year old know something like that. That their father was scared, even her mom knew. How did she not see it before, she had a feeling it was to do with Cami but she never thought it'd be because of this reason. Now she felt bad for complaining, she loved Hiccup and she would wait for him to be ready, no matter how long it took.
(Sunset)
Hiccup had been flying around Berk, even landed in the cove for a while to think back to when it all started. He knew his mother and father were right, he was hesitating on asking Astrid to marry him because he was scared of the past repeating itself again, scared that once he let himself be happy with Astrid, it would come crashing down again and this time it wouldn't just hurt him, but his kids too and he couldn't bare that.
Astrid on the other hand had played with the kids all day, visited with her mother, then with Hiccup's parents a while so they could see the kids. They all enjoyed lunch together and before they knew it, it was sunset and time to leave. Hiccup had returned outside the hall where dinner was about to be served. Hiccup waited with Toothless for them to come, he'd said sunset so he knew they would.
"There you are daddy!" Viggo said as they walked over to him.
"Hi kids. We ready to go?" Hiccup asked them as Viggo and Thora took their places in front of Hiccup on Toothless while Astrid got on Stormfly and secured Runa in front of her and then Fishlegs got on Meatlug.
"You sure you can't stay longer? We barely got to see ya, Hiccup." Snotlout stated.
"I'll be back again, I know we didn't get to hang out. Had a lot on my mind..." Hiccup told them.
"Sure thing man, take care alright?" Tuffnut added nodding.
"Appreciated guys. See ya in a few weeks! Dreki members, lets get home." Hiccup announced as he took off, Stormfly and Meatlug following.
"You think he'll do now that he knows what's holding him back?" Stoick asked.
"No doubt in my mind love. Come, lets go eat shall we?" Valka chuckled, with that they walked to the Great hall for dinner. They knew Hiccup would do it now, he had just needed a push in the right direction. They'd all be going there in a week anyway, because of Astrid's birthday party. Hiccup was planning a surprise party for her, most of these trips back and forth every week were to talk about it. Astrid had no idea either that her mom, her friends, Stoick and Valka were all coming to dragons edge in week.
While flying Hiccup's mind was still on everything. He knew it was fear, he had the whole time but he didn't know where it was coming from. Now he did and he had to figure out how to make it go away, he glanced over to Astrid and smiled softly before looking forward again. He loved her, he was in love with her. He loved Cami too but this...this was different. His mother was right, there was no stopping what happened to Cami that day but now that he knew that...he could make sure it didn't happen again. He wouldn't lose Astrid, he couldn't. He was sure of himself on that one, if he had to die in her place to stop it, he would in a heartbeat.
That was all it took, Hiccup no longer felt fear about it. He was going to propose to her, and on her birthday in front of everyone. Hell he'd marry her that day even, he was the chief. Who the hell would tell him otherwise, in fact everyone would probably push it to happen. He was going to propose in one week at her surprise party, he was going to have a busy week preparing everything including the ring, that was his top priority and he already had the idea ready for it. Hiccup smiled at Astrid, she noticed it and smiled back. "What are you staring at, Hiccup?" Astrid asked.
"You. Have I ever told you how gorgeous you are, Astrid?" Hiccup asked her.
"No?" Astrid blinked a few times, and where was all this coming from suddenly?
"Well you are and I want you to know how much I love you. I really do, Astrid. More than words will ever say." Hiccup said winking at her.
"I–I love you too, Hiccup. Are you...feeling okay?" Astrid asked him now.
"I'm fine. I'm perfectly fine now. I just want you to know how much I love you is all." Hiccup smiled at her. Astrid nodded smiling back as she looked forward, Hiccup did too. Yes he was absolutely sure of it now, he was going to propose to her in one week and he'd finally be happy again. Truly happy.