Chapter 8

The wedding ceremony was quick and didn't have much fanfare. Everyone noticed Becca didn't look like a glowing bride. Emma squealed with excitement when Jarrod explained to her what adoption meant and that she was becoming a Barkley. Becca couldn't help but smile at her daughter's enthusiasm despite the circumstances surrounding why it was happening.

Once all the papers were signed, there was a small brunch to celebrate. Jarrod left with Judge Cross to have the papers filed. He stopped off at the office afterward and thought about everything that had transpired. He poured himself a glass of scotch and took a sip. He wished things had turned out differently and that their wedding day had been more special. Jarrod was determined to make it up to Becca soon once things settled down. He picked up his glass and finished what was in it. Just as he stood to refill his glass Heath burst in his office.

"Becca's in labor," was all he said. Jarrod grabbed his coat and hat, following his younger brother.

Jarrod made his way up the stairs and rushed into Becca's room. She lay on her side and he could see the tears as they streamed down her face. He barely took notice of his mother and Dr. Merar as they stood off to the side.

"Becca?" Jarrod called her name as he knelt beside her. "I'm here. I'm here my love."

He took Becca's hand and she squeezed it. She looked him in the eye.

"It's too early. The baby won't survive," Becca cried.

Jarrod's heart slammed with alarm. He looked over at the others in the room. His eyes pleading with the doctor to do something.

"Jarrod, you smell like scotch. Where have you been?" Becca asked.

Jarrod shook his head.

"I was in town," Jarrod saw Becca's eyes widened.

"At the saloon?"

"I was at my office. I'm here now."

Becca turned slightly.

"Please go away, Jarrod. The smell is making me sick," Becca said.

Jarrod closed his eyes.

"Please Becca-"

"Go!" she said more forcefully, and another contraction took hold. She let go of his hand and grabbed onto the pillow, her knuckles turning white, her face showing her agony.

"Jarrod, you need to leave," Victoria said, and her tone held no room for argument although Jarrod started to open his mouth to protest.

"Go get cleaned up and some coffee in you. Right now, I need for Becca to stay calm and you're not helping," Dr. Merar said forcefully as he walked over to his patient.

Jarrod speared him with a look but didn't say another word as he left. Without even realizing how he'd gotten there, he found himself in the billiard room, the scotch decanter in one hand, a glass in the other. He set them both down and then went to the settee. He sat down heavily, placing his head in his hands.

What am I doing? He asked himself. Tears sprang to his eyes when he realized what Becca had said to him. It was too early…the baby wouldn't survive. Jarrod wasn't sure he could handle the loss of their child. He looked over at the decanter and found himself wanting to take a drink to calm his nerves but knew he couldn't.

The door started to open, and he stood quickly and walked over to the fireplace. He wanted a moment to compose himself.

Heath walked in and expected to see Jarrod drinking. He'd been passing by Becca's room when he heard Jarrod being told to leave by the doc. Jarrod, in his anger, hadn't noticed Heath's presence.

"Jarrod, can I help you with anything?"

Jarrod looked over at Heath and shook his head. He wanted to say yes but he wasn't sure what he'd be asking for, so it seemed easier to just say no.

Heath walked over to him and put his hand on his shoulder.

"Jarrod," he said and waited for the other man to look at him. "Let me help you."

Jarrod couldn't stop the tears this time and he buried his face in his hands.

"I'm ruining everything. And I don't know how to stop," he managed to choke out. Heath led his oldest brother over to the settee and sat him down.

"I'll be right back," Heath said, and he left the room. He was back moments later with coffee.

"Drink this. Becca needs you and whatever else you have going on we have to get you sober. The rest we'll worry about later."

Jarrod took the offered cup. He finished and Heath poured him another. Nothing was said between the two for the next few hours. Heath would leave the room periodically to check in with Victoria and report back to Jarrod that things seemed to be going well.

Audra and Emma were near the North pasture. They'd been riding for over an hour and although Emma didn't have much experience being on a horse, she did well as she sat in front of her Aunt Miss Audra.

Nick and some of the hands were near and Nick rode over to where Audra and Emma had stopped. Emma was running around and exploring.

At the sight of Nick, Emma ran to him and excitedly exclaimed she could see the cows. He laughed and lifted her up in his arms. She squealed.

"So, Miss Emma. What are you and Aunt Miss Audra doing today?"

"She said we could go on an adventure. There sure are a lot of cows!"

"There sure are."

"They stink too," she said, wrinkling her nose. Before Nick could comment she continued, "But that's alright. Cows don't have to get baths so that's why. I don't like baths but I don't think I stink like a cow."

Nick roared with laughter. This little girl had won his heart. Her dark hair, violet eyes, and vibrant personality was just what they all needed to brighten their days. Nick set Emma down and she ran off, Audra cautioning her not to wander too far.

"Where's Heath?" Audra asked.

"He went back to the house but should be back soon."

Emma stopped to admire some wildflowers and asked to pick a few. She brought back a handful and handed them to Audra just as she heard Nick say, "Pappy sure did good."

"Who's Pappy?"

Nick sat down and brought Emma into his lap.

"Pappy is your Uncle Mister Jarrod."

"Is he your papa?" Emma asked, her eyes wide.

"No, Sweetpea. But we've called him that for a lot of years now…started when our papa died. He takes care of us."

Emma tilted her head. "My papa died."

Nick's eyebrows raised. Jarrod had shared briefly with them what had happened to Emma's father. He glanced over at Audra who looked back with concern.

"But now I have my Uncle Mister Jarrod and you and Uncle Mister Heath so you all can take care of me and my mama?"

Nick held the little girl close. "You know we will," he said in a husky voice.

"Uncle Mister Jarrod gave me my dolly with the green dress. I used to have a dolly with a blue dress but I lost her before we saw Uncle Mister Jarrod again."

Nick and Audra each smiled at one another. Emma went on to talk about being at the lodge and catching fish. She mentioned playing games with her mother and Jarrod. Nick and Audra knew things weren't perfect between Emma's mother and Jarrod, but no one could mistake the love that was there.

"Emma, how about if I take you back to the house and we can get some lunch?"

Emma agreed and Nick helped lift Emma up to sit with Audra on her horse. He watched as they rode back toward the house, one of the ranch hands following at a distance. He hoped Emma was right and that their family could take care of Emma and Becca. Both were becoming more and more special by the day.

Emma and Audra returned from their ride and Silas took the young girl to the kitchen. After explaining that Becca was potentially in labor, Audra agreed to keep Emma occupied so as not to frighten the child. She would have lunch and then Silas promised they'd bake some cookies.

It was a few hours later when Jarrod was coming down the stairs from going to clean up when he saw Dr. Merar and his mother in the foyer talking. He stopped to hear a report first hand.

"Things seemed to have settled for now. The labor has stopped. There's no guarantee it won't start up again but the best thing for Becca now is to get complete rest and remain calm," the older man said, giving a pointed look at Jarrod. Jarrod nodded, knowing he deserved the doctor's reprimand. Victoria thanked the doctor, who then said he'd show himself out.

Victoria turned to Jarrod, her gray eyes letting him know she was not pleased with what had happened earlier in the day.

"Mother," he began just as Emma came running from the kitchen.

"Look what we made, Pappy!" she exclaimed excitedly.

Jarrod and Victoria both showed surprise at her use of the nickname Pappy, but Jarrod didn't think to correct her. He knelt before her and took the sugar cookie from her hand.

"Uncle Mister Silas let me stir…" Jarrod only half listened to Emma, his thoughts drifting to Becca upstairs and the child she carried. He wanted so badly for things to turn out well and for everything to be alright. He wanted to one day have their child run up to him and excitedly tell him a story.

"Emma," Jarrod said as he stood. "Why don't you go into the parlor and show Audra. I'll be right there."

Emma skipped into the parlor. Jarrod nodded his head toward the study for his mother to join him.

Just as he closed to door, Victoria spoke.

"There's a woman upstairs in a very delicate condition who needs you. She's frightened and feeling alone. If it were just the fact she's expecting that would be enough but she's also afraid for her and her daughter's lives not to mention the uncertainty of what the future holds with the two of you."

Jarrod sighed.

"I know, Mother. I know I haven't been…I'm sorry."

Victoria stared at her oldest son and knew he was in pain. She'd been seeing it for a while and wasn't sure how to address it with him. He drank a lot more than he used to not to mention he had been spending more and more time away from the family. Now Becca asking him to leave had dealt him a blow and she fully expected to either find him gone or in the study drinking. She was pleasantly surprised to find that neither of those had transpired sending up a silent prayer of thanks for Heath. She walked over to the settee and patted the seat next to her. Jarrod sat down and leaned forward his hands folded in front of him.

"What's going on Jarrod?"

Jarrod took a deep breath.

"Suffice it to say, I've let things fester…things I have been trying to take care of and…and I've let that spill into the rest of my life. I'm going to do better. By all of you, but especially Becca, Emma, and our child."

Victoria knew Jarrod was being sincere. She did have one question though that she needed answered.

"Why did you never tell Becca about Beth?" Victoria asked.

Jarrod stared at the fireplace, gathering his thoughts. After a few moments of silence, he began to speak.

"I realized by spending so much time earlier this year with her and Emma that I wanted a family. I was ready. And I thought that was what we'd have. We spoke about it…made plans…When Becca decided to leave me in Washington, it hurt deeply. To the point I wasn't sure if I would ever recover. Meeting Beth on the train…I thought I could fill the void with her. And I probably could have eventually if we'd been given the chance. Then Becca came back into my life and everything seemed so perfect. I knew I needed to tell her, but the timing never seemed right."

Jarrod looked over at Victoria and noticed her raised eyebrow.

"I know that sounds like an excuse. It probably is. I just didn't want to ruin what I finally had which was being with her and Emma. And now our child."

Jarrod's voice was thick with emotion as he thought about something happening to the baby.

"Would you ask Becca if I can come see her later?" he asked, his blue eyes pleading with her.

Victoria nodded. "If she doesn't agree-"

"Then I'll abide by her wishes."

Jarrod turned his gaze to stare at his hands, wanting nothing more than to run up to her room and take Becca's hand in his own. He'd caused all of this and he needed to make it right.

As Victoria watched her son's face, she hoped that he and Becca could work things out but for now, the most important thing was to keep Becca calm.

"We need to get back to Emma and to tell her about Becca. She won't understand Becca not being up and about," Jarrod said softly. Victoria smiled, seeing that Jarrod was trying. She also saw the love he had not only for Becca but for her daughter. In her heart, Victoria knew Jarrod would work things out. She just hoped he could get everything together before tragedy struck.

Emma didn't seem phased by Becca's absence until after dinner. Audra told her it was time to get ready for a bath and then bed, neither of which was something Emma wanted to do. She ignored Audra at first and no matter how much Audra tried to coax her, Emma refused. Jarrod was coming from the study when he heard Emma adamantly say she didn't want a bath.

"Emma," he said, his voice holding no room for argument. "You'll go with your Aunt Miss Audra now and get a bath and you will not argue. Afterwards, we'll go to your mother's room and read another chapter of our book. If you argue or give Audra any difficulty, we won't read, and you'll go straight to bed after you say your good nights."

Emma stared at Jarrod and for a moment he thought she might refuse him too. He wasn't sure what he'd do if that were the case, but she relented and took Audra's hand. Audra hid a smile as she walked past. Jarrod had used that tone on her many times when she was younger, so she knew he meant business.