Their second meeting happened the next evening as was planned and Shego wasn't surprised when Drakken was again twenty minutes late, but his lateness did not irritate her as much as his appearance with a mug of the blasted cocoa moo.
"So you found time to make a drink, but not come here on time? Still not prioritizing the right things?"
"We've been running tests all day. I don't even remember what I had for lunch! Did I even have lunch?.."
"What are you and your nerd squad doing here?" she asked, after Drakken settled on the sofa, sipping his cocoa as if it was the nectar from Heavens.
"We've been here for five months and you don't know?"
"I was told it was all top secret, so I prefer not to endanger myself for the cause I have no interest it. But now I must know at least the allowed details, so spill."
"We are to stop the world hunger. We are calibrating the Pollinator to produce wheat and rye in the dessert environment without the harm to the said environment. It was also discovered that the previously produced vines have extremely strong fiber structure, so they can be used in creation of fabric for tents etc, can have military and medical applications. With proper processing we believe it can replace Kevlar."
"Ambitious…" was the only word Shego managed to squeeze out of herself, feeling a strike of dizziness after the very first sentence. What in the world happened to mad scientist Doctor Drakken?! The man is planning to save the world at least three times over! And it's looking like he is going to succeed! Why couldn't he before? Because he lacked a proper collaborator, who didn't only understand his mistakes but could make them right? Like the youngsters, who are working with him now? Surely, their previous failures were not her fault, because she was not supportive enough? "So what other uses do those vines have?"
"Well, all the usual ones: construction of huts and wicked furniture, rope ladders and bridges, simply as decorative plants, nets, obviously… The list is quite extensive and I am sure will be added to by bright young minds."
"That's a lot of vines. That's why you have those fields at the back covered?"
"You noticed?"
"It's hard not to. They go for miles! Why are they covered, don't they need Sun to grow?"
"To a point, but the government don't want satellite images circulating."
"So we are doing shady staff on the gov's dime?" Shego asked with a smirk from her evil days.
"To a point. The fiber is patented and the plant is registered, so some money is already coming in, but it mostly goes back into the lab. We constantly need new equipment and materials… Robots don't just grow out of the soil like mushrooms."
Shego was truly amazed by the grandness of the activities that were happening right under her nose, but she had no idea about any of it. "You put up the whole operation in five months?!"
"The big wigs expedited the patenting process, but I usually work fast. You must've noticed."
"Well, yeah, I am just a bit overwhelmed… But the patent is in your name, right?!" Shego asked with newfound urgency. "You didn't give over the rights to those slavedrivers, right?!"
"If you are worried about money-"
"It's not about money, you dolt! It's about your legacy! Those patents are what you will be remembered by! What your children will live off of! Come to think of it, can you have children?"
"Eh?!"
The topic change startled Drakken to the point of almost dropping the mug. Shego was not planning talking about children at that moment of time either, even if those questions were in her notebook to be covered on a later date. It just kinda happened.
"So can you, D?"
"I… I don't know."
"What does that supposed to mean? You either can or cannot!"
"Well, Shego, it is not something I would've thought to check!"
"Why not?" she asked in a deadpan voice that agitated Drakken even more.
"Why in the world would I?!"
"Well, you keep talking about singles' mixes and finding a girlfriend; Mama Lipsky constantly bugs you to settle down and give her grandchildren. Surely, it would've been a perfect excuse to get out of all that if you had an undeniable proof from the doctor that you are infertile. So?"
"I don't know, okay?!" Drakken exclaimed standing up and started to pace in circles. "But even if it was possible, it is clearly ill-advised after my latest mutation! And you?"
Shego was surprised her forever single boss was not stammering and blushing. Instead, he was angry for some reason.
"Me?"
"Yes, you, Shego. Turnabout is a fair play."
Suddenly, Shego was not as comfortable and detached as before. "Well, I am 31 so there is that, but… I actually had my eggs frozen. It was not my initiative, of course. After the comet business, we were brought for radiation treatment or observation or whatever... Everybody were stumped that we did not exhibit any signs of radiation poisoning. And when our powers activated, men in black were called in. So we were trained etc etc. Hego decided to use our enormous inheritance to build the Go Tower and fight crime. Idiot, but he is the eldest so we did that.
"When I was eighteen the men in black appeared again and suggested we donate samples for research. And in case we die, since heroes do tend to do that without leaving any progeny, we were asked to donate eggs and sperm to create the next generation of heroes if we die young and other bullshit. I actually wanted to destroy those samples some years back, because they didn't care about us, dying or otherwise, they just wanted brats to brainwash and experiment on. But I couldn't…"
"So you stole them?"
"No, never could get around to it."
"You can claim them legally, you know. They are rightfully yours."
"Don't be stupid, they must've already been switched out by the geneticists who were salivating to get their hands on them."
"If they still exist, they emit the same radiation signature as you, and that can be traced."
"Don't talk nonsense! They can be anywhere in the world, it's impossible-"
"Everything is possible-"
"Don't finish that sentence, Drakken, our evil rep is in the toilet as it is!"
"For a mad scientist. Do you want to have kids or not, Shego?!"
Shego was taken aback by the demand. Why was he so insistent about something that was none of his business? Well, technically it could be if they go evil again and he has to fight against the improved version of yours truly. She surely wouldn't. Evil or not, but she could readily admit, she was marshmallow enough to not be able to hurt her own flesh and blood.
"Of course not! But I don't want for them to be misused either!"
"Come to the lab tomorrow, we'll take readings… and other stuff." With that Drakken departed with a particularly sour expression.
Was the conversation about children that uncomfortable? Well, yes, it was, but their mutual reactions were completely off. Was Drakken sensitive about the topic since he was brought up by a single mother and had no idea what fathers even do for a child? Or because he specialized in robotics and have already built a number of humanoid robots that could be considered his children and who spectacularly failed thus turning him into a failure as a father too? The whole plan has suddenly become very complicated.
….
The following day Shego woke up at her usual time aka at noon, firstly because she had nothing to do and, secondly, because she could and nobody was going to reprimand her for that. Not that anyone could survive that unscathed. She had brunch in the empty cafeteria since everybody else were hard at work to save the world from hunger. Could they really do that? Shego still couldn't believe in such idealistic plan.
However, Shego was close to changing her opinion when she stepped into the lab for the first time. She actually had to search for it for some time, even if she had to know the building plan by heart being part of security. She did, but the whole building, except for the living quarters was one giant lab! The only indication of Drakken's presence were two bulky guards at the doors, so Shego headed there. The guards gave her a look over as if she was a potential intruder, but did not move from their positions when she opened the heavy door and entered… a white and green pandemonium.
One of walls of the spacious room was one huge window, but the tables (row upon rows of tables) were under artificial lighting because the whole window and the ceiling were covered with vines. Between the tables people in white lab coats were running and shouting, and Shego looked for the one in the familiar blue one, but didn't find him. Was he somewhere in the back? Shego had no better idea than to follow the hurrying scientists, but at her own leisurely pace. Only a few steps later she was literally snatched by the waist and pulled through the air towards the window.
"Losing your touch, Shego. Haven't been blown up for too long?"
A smart and sassy retort was on Shego's lips, but it took precedence to whatever was moving around her waist – which turned out to be a vine, that released her and slivered back to its source – unsurprisingly – Doctor Drakken in a white lab coat. Shego again opened her mouth to comment on touching her without her explicit permission, when she heard a roar of machinery from above. A large metal contraption moved to the area she was just walking beside and started spraying a green liquid – the Pollinator, by all accounts. Shego watched in fascination as rows of wheat sprang from soil in mere seconds, but wilted just as fast.
"The hell you are doing here, Shego?! I doubt, you fancy to be turned into a plant, hm?" Drakken's mood clearly hasn't improved much from the previous evening. And another failed experiment she has just witnessed spoiled it even further.
"Radiation readings…" she could only mumble, felling suffocated by Drakken's anger.
"Ah… that…Dan! Come here and measure Shego's radiation. And forget about the suit, she is harmless…if you don't piss her off."
Shego's attempt to show exactly how harmful she can be was thwarted by Drakken's swift disappearance and the appearance of a general looking young brunette, whose name tag read 'Dan'. There was absolutely nothing distinguishing about the young man's appearance. He seemed… nice, but completely plain. Well, Shego doubted Dan was planning to participate in a pageant or even a singles' mixer in the near future.
"This way, Miss Shego." Even his voice was plain.
Still he took all the measurements in a professional manner, so Shego had to admit she preferred such treatment than from a doctor who looked good, but had no knowledge to make a proper diagnosis.
"So what should I do with the data?"
"Use it to locate-" What exactly? She couldn't tell everybody here they are hunting for her cryogenically frozen eggs, now could she? Now that would be a tsunami for the gossip mill. "Something that belongs to me. It is a thermos sized container."
"Okay, but it will take some time… Those meteorological satellites move like snails, seriously!"
"Wait… you have your own satellites?!"
"Of course, not."
"So you are going to… hijack them?"
"Use for our purpose without disrupting their work."
"Oh, I understand," Shego responded, returning Dan's conspirational smile. Not plain at all, as it turned out.
…..
That night happened to be karaoke night, thus Shego did not believe their 8 o'clock could be possible, even if karaoke started at six. Her thoughts were confirmed, when Drakken just brooded in the corner for the whole evening not even nearing the microphone. Others tried to cheer him up, but soon gave up too. Shego was glad when another torturous evening was over and was almost at the door when she heard a grumbled: 'Tomorrow, same time.'
…
Shego was nothing but resourceful. And a survivor by nature. So she was well aware that at the current stage of her plan said plan was diving into a tank of sharks. Why she was bent on the pretentious relationship to succeed, she didn't know exactly… But it was the principle of the thing. So that evening she came prepared – it was a struggle, but she managed to wrestle some pickle sandwiches and two cups of cocoa as a peace offering and the ice breaker.
"Missed dinner again, hm?" Shego asked, noting the enthusiasm Drakken was shoving her mediocre sandwiches in.
"We had some success tonight, so it was pointless not to pursue it further."
"Oh?" Shego decided to show interest in his science to make Drakken mellower. Men always like their professional ego stroked. "No wilting?"
"Still wilts, but slower. So what is the plan for tonight?"
"Tonight we talk about things I should know about you."
"And vice versa."
"Doy-doy. Let's start with the scar, Do- D."
"What scar?"
"The scar under your eye, duh?"
"Oh that…Well, it happened sometime after I… left college. I was living in a rather seedy neighborhood because it was the only place I could rent. So one night I was returning from job hunting and there was a bar fight on my block and a glass shard flew at my face. I came home and stitched it up, that's why it's so ugly. As you see nothing particularly exciting, just a freak accident."
"But why didn't you go to a hospital or you mother-pediatrician? Oh wait, she didn't know… She still doesn't know you were kicked out!"
"Walked out, Shego!"
"Yeah-yeah. So it was an accident. What about you turning blue?"
"But you haven't told me about your scar, Shego. The one on the back of your left knee?"
"My left- How do you even know about it?!"
"It is you, who is an exhibitionist, strutting in your swimsuit all over the lair for everybody to look at."
Shego prepared a snappy comment, but then refrained, since Drakken was right once again. She just didn't think that he would actually look. So was he checking her out… or simply noticed the abnormality in the skin tone? And did she want it to be the former? Of course, she always enjoyed men's attention, but she did not consider Doctor Drakken to be… a man exactly.
No matter… moving the conversation along… "I fell from the tree house when I was ten and broke my leg. It was before the comet incident. Now can you tell me about becoming blue? And no dragging it out, because the talk on the vine is that you told Dementor and you are hardly best buddies."
"You never asked, Shego. But since you are so eager to know… I rented a room in an apartment complex with an empty basement. I needed cash… So…"
"Wait! Are you telling me you had a METH LAB?!"
"Yeah. And it was going okay. But one Tuesday… my distributor was rushing me since he promised a huge delivery to some gang… And as always in these situations… the lab blew up - I didn't."
"So you have meth in your skin?!"
"Not at all, it's just a discoloration from exposure in the heat of the explosion."
"But such things don't just happen, D! When meth labs blow, they BLOW!"
"I lucked out. And I had protective mask and goggles. I seriously have no idea how it happened."
"You don't know?! Isn't it your main goal as a scientist to find answers?!"
"It's irreversible, so what's the point? Also… it's nice to be unique."
"There is that. I am not telling you how I turned green since you know it already."
"The comet, yes. But I've never actually deconstructed the energy you are emitting and how you manage to do so without harming your skin."
"Well, you never asked," Shego threw his words back into his face.
"I am sorry about that. They have some seriously good equipment here, if you want to…"
Why was he apologizing?! And her energy blasts were hers and none of his business. She had no desire to become a guinea pig again. She had it up to her neck with experiments from her adolescent years. So why was she nodding her ascent?!
"Wonderful. Tomorrow is a half-Sunday, so we can do some readings in the evening. By the way, why aren't we married?"
Only Shego's mutated reflexes prevented her cup from ending up in pieces on the floor. "What?!"
"According to your narrative, we've been together for over three years, isn't it a reasonably long time to decide to make the final step?"
"Well, we prefer to have freedom in our relationship."
"As in open marriage?"
"Pretty much."
"No can do. It's all or nothing for me. Although you do have commitment issues."
"Me?! How in the world did you come up with that, Doctor Knowing-Nothing-About-Relationships?"
"You always run away when things get difficult."
"And you always call me back when things get hard and require more effort than getting your ass off the sofa!"
"That was uncalled for, Shego! I do a lot of heavy lifting myself!"
"You couldn't open a pickle jar!"
"The jar was just too big for my hands!"
"Oh boo-hoo! If I have commitment issues then you have abandonment issues!"
"I don't deny that!"
Once again the ground was taken from under Shego by Drakken's admission that contradicted everything she knew about him (which as was turning out, was not much). Why did he just keep saying those things? He himself insisted on not keeping secrets between them, but they hardly had any heart to hearts because Shego was all about secrets and shields and showing no vulnerability. And frankly, she envied Drakken for his ability to open himself up like that. "So is it about… you father?..." she asked tentatively, attempting to meet him half-way.
"No, I just… miss you when you are away."
"Miss me giving you lip?!" Shego asked incredulously.
"Henchmen just listen to orders, they don't usually talk back. Anything is better than dead silence."
"Wait! Miss in present tense? Don't you have those youngsters now who actually understand what you are saying?"
"I am just used to you being in the lab, that's all."
He looked so cute fidgeting with his tiny fingers like that! Whoa, stop that thought this instant! Doctor Drakken could not be called cute in any sense! "Well, I'll be there tomorrow for the… readings?"
The childish enthusiasm on Drakken face about the prospect of her being in his workspace again (even if less than 24 hours ago he accused her of pretty much being a nuisance) was contagious and she smiled without realizing it.
The main question remained unanswered however – why weren't they married? What was stopping them from taking the leap? The same thing that was stopping them from getting together in the first place? And why, in seven Hells, Shego was even contemplating the possibility?!