"Now put your hand into the hole and fire it up, hold it for as long as I tell you and do not release it. I have no guarantee that your hand won't be blown off in the process."
Shego followed the instructions, putting her arm into a barrel like transparent container with all kinds of mysterious widgets that faced Drakken.
"It is a marvel to see you do what you are told for once without you unleashing your sharp tongue," Drakken remarked while tinkering with the controls.
"I will if this thing fails. What do you use it here for anyway?"
"Nothing. I put it together this morning."
Shego instantly pulled her arm out. The fact that something was invented specifically for her needs flew over her hand in her anxious state. "Are you kidding me?! I am not sticking my body parts into anything untested!"
"It's mainly vacuum, nothing will happen if you do not move."
"I am warning you, if anything-"
"Don't test my patience, Shego, and put. Your. Arm. In. I have a ton of other things to do today."
Shego had no choice but to comply even if with a dose of skepticism. But nothing has exploded during these five months – so far – or was destroyed by any external force like ninja do-gooders, so she was relatively safe. Thus she ignited her hand and held it until she was ordered to stop and then did it again and another twelve times. Her arm was becoming sore, when Drakken's wave indicated the end of the experiments.
"So when you calculate or whatever you'll do with the data to understand what my energy actually is… What are you gonna do it with it? Weaponize it?"
"Didn't the… men in black… you mentioned, tried to do it already?" Drakken asked without looking from his pad and moving somewhere deeper into the lab, clearly not waiting for a proper answer.
Shego rushed after him, for some reason, not wanting to end their conversation just yet. "They did, but soon abandoned the idea since nothing came out of it. They were more interested in how fast and how many things I could destroy."
"Hm… It has properties that can be applied as batteries or light equipment or heaters, but even if it can be stabilized and contained, it can hardly be created without a host. That's you, if it's not clear."
"Even a child could understand that, Doc."
"So it's back to Doc again?"
And why was that important? "That was sarcasm. You really need to learn to understand social queues."
"Nghhhhhh…By the way…"
Hopefully, it won't be another question like why they were not married, because Shego did not know how to react to that, even if she considered herself well versed in the social queues. Still, she couldn't contain a laugh, seeing self-proclaimed Doctor hunting through the pockets of his lab coat for something and panicking while not finding it. He was such a goof ball, really!
"Ah, here it is!" Drakken proclaiming, shoving a piece of paper into her hand. "This is the place."
The name of the organization was as generalized and convoluted as possible. The location was also pretty out there. "What's there?"
"Where, hm… your, hm, eggs are."
"Oh." Seemed, that snail pace meant only two days.
"There wasn't even any special shielding. The radiation is off the charts, so it could only mean that your brothers'… stuff is there too."
"Untempered?"
"Can't say."
"And what am I supposed to do with this?"
"Whatever you want, Shego. Maybe you should call your brothers."
"Ha! And this is my not funny ha-ha, Drakken. You know how annoying they are!"
"I heard you complain a million times, so I am well aware. What have they been doing these past years? Still disbanded?" Drakken asked, diving into a contraption with a mysterious purpose, but he seemed eager to continue the conversation.
"Hego's gotten married a couple of months back."
"Has he now?..." echoed from within the… machine? "You weren't invited to the wedding?"
"I wouldn't have gone anyway. But a superhero's marriage made a big splash, obviously, so the wedding was on the news and a couple of morning talk shows. Seems, after being turned evil, Hego got his ass into gear and decided to return to his favorite activity – being the hero everybody is dangling on. So he joined search and rescue and met a girl there. And let me tell ya, Carol or Camille or whatever her name is, is one. Big. Gal. Like gigantic! I am sure they'll make a bunch of hero kids in no time. The bed manufactures will worship them."
"So Hego is personally interested for any other kids not to appear outside of his marriage, right? And what was the other brother?"
"Mego? Frankly, I think he is gay, but that's just me. Anyway, what do you propose we do? Barge there and demand our stuff? Now that will make a splash! And I am prohibited from doing anything illegal, as are you. Good thinking to get one of the nerds to hack into the satellites, by the way."
"I told you, everything is possible-"
"And again, stop right there."
"And again, contact your brothers. We do have mobile coverage and internet in here," Drakken insisted, reappearing from… whatever that centrifuge was.
"Why are you so set on this? These are just eggs which I don't even plan to use!"
"Considering how touchy you were about cloning, I am surprised you are not already kicking their door in."
"There is me and there is-"
"Biological part of you."
"Oh just leave me alone!"
…
"So with what torture have you come up this time, Shego?" Drakken asked, munching on the sandwich, once again prepared by Shego for the snack after the long work day. And Drakken's humming noises indicated that she was getting good at it too.
"We are going to play a couples' quiz game. There will be questions there which a proper couple must know the answers to. About each other and the like."
"I am game, but what does the winner get?"
Shego snorted at Drakken's confidence. No way he can win this. He never wins anything. "I applaud you for the drive to make this interesting… Let's see… The winner will give the loser 5 times the number of questions he answers wrong."
"You're sure it'll be 'he', right, Shego?"
"I am."
"As you are all about money. Why not play for a favor?"
"No way, D! I am smart enough by now not to agree to be a guinea pig for anything of your creation!"
"What about a date then?"
"A date?!" Where did that even come from?!
"The one who loses must organize the date. If anyone asks what our last date was, we will tell the truth and won't make up anything unrealistic."
Surprisingly… "Sounds reasonable. Okay, so I will launch the game on the computer and will record our scores there, so nobody is going to cheat. Deal?"
"Deal, Shego. You are quite good at this."
"At what?"
"At planning stuff out."
"I just have a head on my shoulders," Shego replied dismissively, but was inwardly flattered. "First question then?"
"Bring it on!"
Favorite color
"They must have easy questions at the start… Blue."
"Hate to bring you down from your high horse, Shego, but no, it is not."
"What do you mean no?! Everything about you is blue! Your clothes and bed sheets, your-" What else was there exactly? Nothing else came to mind, actually. His flowers weren't.
"I wear blue, because it suits my complexion which I had for only half of my life. My favorite color since childhood is green. The color of my first stuffed toy."
Shego was disgruntled by such obvious mistake, but had no choice but to concede. "Doy, I get it. What is my favorite color then?"
"Black."
"Why in the world?! Why not green?"
"I am just theorizing here, but… This is the only color of nail polish and lipstick you have. Also the color of your brothers' hair is the same as their powers, but yours is not. So either you were changed differently since you are a female or it is actually green and you are dying it. This would be a major hassle since there is so much of it, but for each its own."
"Okay, you got me. It's black. And hell no, I am not dying this monstrosity of hair mass. Point to you. You answer the next one first." How in the world did Drakken notice the color of her nails when she is completely covered in a suit for the majority of the time?
Favorite food
"Ice cream shake?.." Drakken answered shakily.
"I don't hate it, but it's not favorite, because I don't have any special preference. I am no foodie. It's fresh, it's fulfilling, it's good enough for me. Yours is anything your dear mama makes."
"Too true. So we both get a point?"
Shego chuckled at Drakken's always present competitive attitude, but added points to both of them.
The game went on with questions spanning various topics from favorite vacation spots to childhood experiences. Logically, there were a number of questions both of them couldn't answer about each other, but Shego was shocked how little they actually knew about each other after more than five years practically living together, but also how much Drakken knew about her. Shego was always tightlipped about anything personal which included her past, so she didn't tell her boss anything, but he still somehow knew. By noticing little details, connecting the dots, putting together the crumbs of information into a picture that embodied her character. Why would he waste time on that when he should've been focused on the plans for world domination?
However, the later questions went into the direction Shego anticipated them to go and she couldn't wait to see Drakken's reaction. Will he squirm and splatter or get angry and storm out of the room?
When and how did your partner loose his/her virginity?
"So that's was the plan all along, Shego? To utterly humiliate me?" Drakken was neither squirmy nor angry and that was even more confusing.
"I have to answer too, so we'll be even."
"Okay… since it is a difficult answer to guess right, can I ask a question first?"
Shego was floored Drakken had the balls to talk about the topic at all, so she only nodded her accent.
"Did you go to a public high school or private?"
"Public." What does that have to do with anything?!
"Right… So my guess here is that despite your training and actions as a superhero, you always had… a wild side. And that translated into attraction towards bad boys, who generally don't limit themselves to handholding on principle of being bad. So I think… Seventeen. In a car."
Shego just stared with her jaw hanging open in the way most unattractive. "How in the Hell do you know that?!"
"Just an educated guess. It's hard to believe, but I went to high school too. Yes, I was an invisible nerd, who gathered attention only when the jocks wanted to tease or terrorize someone, but I do know how the teenager clicks work. Nothing changed much since my time. I did my analysis about teenage girls to find Kim Possible's weakness, thinking they are different from teenage boys from my time, but it's all basically the same – are you a superhero or not. Your turn."
Shego was not thrilled to be likened to any run of the mill teenage girl, but have to agree that the picture was pretty accurate. But there was nothing typical about Drakken's sexual endeavors, even if he had ones. By his more or less relaxed pose Shego assumed, there were (even if few and far between), there was certain tension, probably about the topic in general… or something else. Shego had no idea!
"Can I also ask a question?"
"Of course."
"How old were you when the meth lab explosion happened?"
"Twenty four."
So somewhere before that, since hardly any normal woman would go for a blue-skinned villain. Well, maybe another sidekick… But he didn't have one before her, she knew that for a fact. There could be a nerdy paramour during university years before he met Possible and co… Maybe she should answer something ambiguous and move on.
"Let's say… Twenty. With your lab partner being locked in a lab at night."
"A flattering scenario, but no. On both counts." And that was it, no elaboration. Which was not a surprise.
"And? What is the right answer?!"
"I was twenty-one, when I've got my Bachelor diploma and considered myself worthy of a celebration. The attitude towards me during my first years in uni did not much differ from the one from my school mates who indulged in parties and other… fun. So while my mates dated and so forth, I did not, but was naturally curious what was the fuss about. Obviously, to receive a full rounded experience, one should have a skilled partner and multiple attempts. Basically, an experienced girlfriend. But finding a girl, who fills that description is time and money consuming. So I did the only thing that cut the costs and diminished the stress of the search and maintaining a relationship to a minimum."
"So what did you do? Went to a prostitute?" Shego asked without believing in the possibility.
"I did."
"I seriously don't know what to say," Shego replied after a prolonged silence.
"And I don't know why you are so surprised. I doubt, you ever interacted with such individuals, but there are men - unattractive, shy, not suave to attract women even for one-night stands."
"And you consider yourself belonging to that category. That's why you said I would be dubbed a paid escort if we appear together."
"I do look in the mirror, Shego. Blue skin is not the only problem."
Shego wanted to reassure Drakken of the opposite, but how would that look? He was not that bad. His body was more or less proportional, except for the hands and feet. And the face was… not that someone would call traditionally attractive. But he was not ugly per se… He did have overbearing personality though. Not many can keep up and survive it.
"Should we continue?" Shego asked hesitantly, feeling skidding on thin ice with the way the conversation was going.
"Why not? I am sure it can get only worse."
It did not. Shego skipped questions about sexual preferences, because it was crazy embarrassing and they didn't need that for the reunion. Although, she did stop at the question about the number of sexual partners. Neither guessed right, although Drakken was pretty close to hers, answering 7, which in reality was 6. Shego did not know what to say, because clearly it was more than 1 for him, but maybe a student does not have much money to waste on call girls and it was a singular encounter. She answered 8 to feed his ego, but it was only 4.
The last question was a weird one, particularly since, logically, it should've been asked in the beginning of the quiz.
What was the first thought of your partner when you met?
"Oh this one is easy!" Drakken proclaimed, making Shego jump.
"How in the heck is this easy?! How could one know anybody's thoughts?"
"Well, when we first met - I can actually bet money on it - you thought: 'What does this weird old man doing here, ruining my diamond exchange caper?!' Ending with five exclamation marks full of indignation."
"You bet, I did! I was casing that place for three weeks, patiently waiting when the giant and thus extremely valuable diamond will be transferred there. I train like crazy to go through the laser grid, and when I finally get there, all security is disabled by some nerd with goggles who is drilling the safe at alarmingly slow pace. Then he tells me that he needs the giant diamond for some laser and I can take everything else in the safe. As if there is any value in those diamonds. And what did you think of me?"
"Well, I could not think objectively at the moment when you appeared in all your green fury, so my first thought was: 'I am too young to die, I can't die without fulfilling my revenge!'. When you blasted the safe door with a single blow - the door I was drilling for fourteen minutes with highly sensitive equipment that took me weeks to make - I thought: 'I must have this woman at my side.' And then… Doesn't matter."
"So right from the first moment, you were only interested in using my powers for your schemes." Not that Shego expected anything more, they did have a professional relationship with contractual obligations, but it still hurt… Just a little tiny bit.
"That was then and this is now."
"And what changed?"
"Evil or not, we are still a family, Shego dear. So who won?"
"Of course, you want to know that," she said, shaking her head in exasperation at Drakken's childishness. She counted the points and was not surprised at Drakken's win.
"So, Shego, it is your task to prepare a date for us. Although, we won't be able to meet at least till next Friday."
"What?! We don't have much time as it is!"
"Six months are almost up, boss lady wants a progress report which must be progressive and impressive so the funding wouldn't be pulled."
"And will it be?"
"More or less. Still, it would be impossible in an open dessert. A canyon, maybe, but not under open Sun which will evaporate any water that is in the soil and plants. Let's go to the lab for a bit. I need you for something."
Shego had no other choice, but to follow Drakken, who changed lanes once again on a drop of a hat. Upon reaching the lab, they climbed onto one of the hovering platforms that were used to move around the spacious lab, particularly at the high levels for machinery maintenance. They floated towards a large glass cube with a basketball sized sphere inside. The sphere was connected with a tube to the front wall of the cube. Doctor Drakken entered a code at the panel and the hole opened, giving access to the tube.
"Send a blast into the sphere."
Shego complied. The blast flew along the tube and entered the sphere. There was a sound of sucked air and the sphere closed off, trapping the green energy inside.
"And what's going to happen next?" she asked, fascinated by the energy's movement and shimmering in the container. It still looked beautiful despite being volatile. Just like her?
"We will see how stable that sphere is. If it blows, the cube will contain the explosion. This is a special reinforced glass, I made it for this experiment."
Created especially for her? "Another patent?!"
"Nah, this patent belongs to the boss lady's corporation since it was done here and blah, blah, blah. But the money goes back into the lab, so maybe we'll get another wing to the building."
"With a Jacuzzi?"
"Technically… there is one."
"And you haven't told me?!"
"It is for special needs, Shego."
"Whose?"
"Mine."
"And what needs could you possibly have to need a Jacuzzi, D?"
"Well, since we agreed not to keep secrets… Come on Wednesday to room 139 at seven in the evening."