The first time he saw her, he convinced himself it was a dream; a hallucination brought on by misguided hope and lingering regret. For months he had agonized over what he could have done differently, how things might have worked out if he'd only been a little faster, a little more aware of his surroundings. With the incident playing over, and over, and over in his mind, was it really so absurd to believe that he might be seeing what he wanted to see?
She hadn't been his first kiss, of course, but she was his most memorable. No matter how hard he tried, he could never bring himself to forget the delicate caress of her soft fingertips on his bloodied cheek. He still remembered vividly the faint scent of perfume that had radiated from her warm skin — vaguely floral and strong enough to mask the metallic smell seeping from their injuries. Whether she had been using him or not, in that moment nothing else had mattered. Even now, knowing what he did, he couldn't quite convince himself that it hadn't been genuine. It was too gentle, too caring to be anything but real.
Time seemed to have slowed down since that night. Everything was somehow quieter now, and Leon had never felt so alone, so… isolated. Other women came and went, but for all the fleeting conversations and cheap meals, those relationships never progressed anywhere. He soon came to realise that most of them only wanted to spend time with him because they saw him as a hero after what had happened. Of course, none of them knew the true story, and after a date or two it would soon become clear that they were more interested in the idea of Leon, rather than Leon himself.
They hadn't found the body of anyone matching her description at the site. Everyone else believed to have been in the underground laboratory at the time of the incident was fully accounted for — heck, they'd even found the corpses of some people they didn't know existed. But as far as Leon knew, no woman in red was ever mentioned. For a long time afterwards, he had pored over any and all records he could get ahold of, trying to find some trace of her survival. A small part of him wondered if he even knew her real name. He knew he was putting his new government role at risk, but he didn't care; after all, he'd practically been forced into it anyway. Nothing seemed to matter anymore except finding her. Still, despite his best efforts, his searches proved fruitless. After coming close to being caught on more than one occasion, he had no choice but to pause his research. But he never gave up hoping. He couldn't.
And so, the first time he saw her — a brief glimpse of red out of the corner of his eye one evening — his heartbeat quickened. He turned suddenly, squinting through the glare of the overhead security lights at the military base. He held his breath as he scanned the parking lot, desperate to catch another hint of whatever he had seen. There was a flicker of movement to his left and he spun, gun raised, along with his hopes. A large ginger cat stared back at him, eyes wide and glowing in the dim light. Leon slowly lowered his weapon. The animal yawned, casting one more thoughtful gaze at him, before turning elegantly and slipping away into the darkness, a vanishing flash of red shadow. Could this have been what he'd seen? Leon shook his head and holstered his pistol. It had been an intense day of training. Perhaps he needed some rest.
The next time he saw her, he was walking through the city. After weeks of hard work, he had finally been granted some time to himself. Although it was often brief, he relished the opportunity to pretend he was living a normal life on these small occasions. Not that "normal" meant "happy", of course; he was walking back from yet another failed date. He'd met the girl on one of his previous outings and agreed to meet her next time he was free. A terrible idea given the nature of his job, he knew, but a man could dream. Unfortunately it just hadn't worked out, and when she'd tried to kiss him he moved away, earning a sharp slap to the cheek. He made a mental note to leave straight away next time, instead of accidentally leading them on by staying for the whole meal.
He was halfway through a sigh when he spotted her . His breath caught in his throat. It had started raining, and he only just caught the reflection as he rounded a corner. A crimson smudge, the pale smear of what could have been a face... suddenly driven through by a passing car. His head snapped up at once, but sharp attention gave way to soft confusion. Stepping back, he saw a young model in a red summer dress advertising some sort of health drink. His eyes scanned the peeling advert plastered to the bus shelter in front of him. Was this really what he'd seen? He glanced down at the road beside him. With the rain growing heavier, and the frequent splashes of nearby vehicles disturbing the puddles, it wasn't so unreasonable to believe. He walked around the back of the small structure and looked up into the trees above, just in case. His roaming gaze was of course met by nothing but darkness. If there had been anyone up there, they were long gone. Leon ran a hand through his dishevelled hair and shivered. Perhaps he was finally losing it.
The sightings only became more frequent after that, and he started to find himself increasingly distracted from completing his duties. A mannequin in a shop window dressed in a wine coloured ball-gown; the sunset's light playing over tree branches at the edge of the compound… hell!, even a bush of large red roses — all momentarily shaped like her , but all so easily explainable when he looked more closely. When it got to the point where he was seeing her multiple times a week, he was starting to grow more than a little concerned. A small part of him worried about whether he'd somehow received mind-altering drugs — whether through subtle attacks, or as a test of sorts. After all, his employers clearly weren't entirely against human experimentation. With growing unease, he had approached one of the medics on site and asked them to run some checks on him under the guise that he'd been feeling more worn out than usual (although truth be told, this wasn't entirely a lie). When said test results came back clear, Leon found himself at a loss for what to do. He didn't dare mention her to anyone else — both for his reputation if she truly was a mirage, and for her safety if the phantom were to prove real — but the result of his secrecy only served to isolate him further. As the weeks slipped away, so did his sanity. Or so he thought.
An email from Claire changed everything. She asked him to contact the brother she'd mentioned to him, and when Leon finally managed to track him down, Chris disclosed some vital information: Keep on your guard for a 'Lady in Red' . He'd told Leon this as thanks, but hadn't understood the magnitude of the gift. It had taken everything in Leon's power not to reach out and grab Chris' shoulders and shake him, demanding more information. Instead he had feigned disinterest and merely pressed Chris for a little clarification. The only further information he'd got out of the agent was that said lady was apparently working for someone called 'Wesker' — a name Leon had heard before but had not looked into too deeply. That would need to change.
With a new lead, Leon found his motivation renewed once more. He soon began to spend every free moment looking into this 'Wesker' person. His research brought up a lot of interesting findings, but nothing about what Chris had mentioned. He wondered if it had perhaps been an unfounded rumour, or — perhaps even worse — whether such information had been purposefully omitted from the files he had managed to access. One thing soon became clear however — 'Wesker' was much more involved in everything Leon had been through than he'd thought. And if she really was working for Wesker, then Leon's best chance of getting to see her again would be to throw himself back into the field. If his theory was correct, then they would have to cross paths eventually. And so, Leon began to train even harder than before.
The work only got tougher in response. He volunteered himself for any and all missions he could, losing any hopes he had left of living a normal life. With each bioweapon he crushed underfoot, with each city he saw ravished by disease, and with each child he saw desperately clinging to the severed limbs of their mother, he felt parts of his sanity fall away. Still he pushed forward, hoping that the crimson shadows he continued to see out of the corner of his eye would one day materialise into something more. So caught up was he in his research and increasingly intense training, that he almost didn't notice when the sightings started to decrease, until eventually it had been almost two years since he'd last caught a glimpse of her.
By the time of his mission to the rainforest, his search was relegated almost purely to the academic. Yet it was there that his eyes found a chance to play their old familiar trick. He'd been deployed to the location with a soldier named Krauser. Leon had found himself opening up to him about Racoon City, feeling a strange sense of peace at finally being able to talk about what had happened. Even still, his encounters with her went unmentioned. In all this time, he had spoken her name out loud to no-one, not even himself. The mission proved to be a particularly difficult one, and Leon saw things more horrifying than he had dealt with in a long time. Fortunately — or perhaps unfortunately if one were to stop and actually think about it — he was used to such sights by now. As Leon hurried to the extraction point, his injured comrade and the infected daughter of their target in tow, he almost didn't notice the shape in the trees. It was only as the helicopter was lifting off from the dusty ground below that he spotted her — or had he? It was just for a moment and then it was gone; a pale arm in the distance, raised in a sarcastic wave. Or were those just leaves, rustling in the wind?
Two more years passed, and as the days, weeks, and months flew by without another sighting, he found his hope becoming more fragile. Had she been killed in combat? Was she being held prisoner in some foreign country? Hell, had she just lost interest in him after all this time? These questions plagued his nightmares, and infected his waking hours as any chance of true sleep eluded him. He spent so much time practicing what he would say during their reunion, over and over in his mind, amending words, perfecting his tone, that sometimes he felt like it had already happened.
Of course, nothing could have prepared him for that day.
"Put your hands where I can see them…"
Ada focussed on preventing her arm from trembling as Leon's grip around her wrist tightened, her mind spinning through potential counter-maneuvers. It had all happened so quickly, and she was disappointed at herself for allowing her ambush to be countered so easily. Up close he was just as handsome as she had remembered. Perhaps even more so now that he was slightly older. The man before her stepped back. His guard was raised. No openings. He was saying something snarky about knives and close encounters, but she wasn't paying attention. The way his gaze moved up and down her body, the desperate longing in his expression… Could it be that he, too… Ada straightened up, silently adjusting her stance.
What had started years ago as brief surveillance to ensure he didn't reveal her existence to anyone, had ended up turning into a bizarre game: sometimes cat-and-mouse, other times mouse-and-cat... perhaps sometimes both at once. Whichever she was today, she'd wanted to get caught. How long had she been following him now — mission or no mission… Watching him from the shadows, slipping up on purpose just a little every now and then to give him the faintest hint of her presence, just enough small reminders to ensure he never forgot… ? She smiled to herself. Perhaps it had been foolish of her to pursue him for so long, even after her reasons to do so had long since passed. Perhaps it had been an even worse idea to finally confront him here, whilst in the middle of a much bigger, far more important scheme... No. This was critical to mission success.
"Leon. Long time no see." Her voice sounded strange to her ears. There was so much she wanted to say to him, so much she wanted to apologise for, but there was just no time . She sighed. She needed to focus on the distraction. She was here to waste his time so that he wouldn't get in the way, that was all. Once this was over with, she would finally put everything behind her and focus fully on her assignments. It was about time she stopped pathetically pining over a man she knew she could never have.
"Ada. So it is true…"
"True? About what?" So, he'd figured it out. She supposed it wasn't so unreasonable, given how many clues she'd left around, hoping they would get back to him. She glanced down at the pair of sunglasses she held in her hand. Her fingers moved automatically to arm them. She barely remembered taking them off.
"You. Working with Wesker." Ada's chest tightened slightly at Leon's pained expression when he said this. He looked so… resigned. Like a man who had spent years hoping for something only to realise that it wasn't quite what he had expected. If she only had more time to explain ... To just reach out, and...
"I see you've been doing your homework," she said. This was starting to get dangerous. She thought she'd been prepared for this moment, but it seemed that even she wasn't immune to the effects of certain emotions. Any longer and she might say something she regretted. She had achieved her mission of delaying him, now it was time to go. She let the sunglasses drop.
No turning back.
"Why, Ada?" Leon asked desperately. Her name felt foreign on his lips. Even in spite of the years of practicing, nothing had prepared him for this, and he couldn't hide the bitterness in his voice. Here she was, at last, and she had just confirmed his worst fears. The woman he had loved for so long, who he had feared dead, was working for the very man who had contributed to Leon's life being irreparably destroyed. And yet... Leon's heart hammered heavily against his ribs. He hadn't felt this alive in a long time.
"What's it to you?" Ada asked coldly, glancing away. Leon winced internally. She was just as beautiful as he remembered, but this was a very different woman from the one he had kissed all those years ago. Or perhaps the fond memories he was still hopelessly clinging onto had all been borne of lies. But then… if he really meant nothing to her, why was she standing in front of him now? Why had she wasted so much time following him around? And surely he wasn't imagining the guilty look in her expression, nor the slight flush on her cheeks? He needed answers! He locked eyes with the woman in crimson before him; finally so close, yet more distant than ever.
"Why are you here? Why'd you show up like this?" he asked, not fully expecting an answer. Before Ada could say anything further, there was a sudden flash. Leon's ears rang as the ground shook and smoke filled the room. By the time he had regained his senses, Ada was no longer in front of him.
"See you around," a sultry voice said to his right. Leon looked up just in time to see her disappear through an open window.
"Ada!" he called after her, still secretly relishing the fact that he had a reason to speak her name again. By the time he caught up, she was gone. Leon slammed his fist on the windowsill in frustration. Why? Why had she done this? A grim realisation came over him as he tried to calm himself. Of course. She was a distraction . Wesker must have sent her to delay him from rescuing Ashley. And he'd fallen for it like the desperate fool he was. But then how do you explain everything else? his mind retorted.
He shook some dust from his hair and took a deep breath. There was only one way to find out what her true intentions were, and that was to ask her. And if that meant combining the search for Ada with the search for Ashley, then so be it. He hadn't spent six years looking for her just to give up so easily, especially not now that she was finally within his grasp.
"I'm coming for you, Ada!" he yelled into the void outside.
A few buildings away, Ada watched as Leon finally turned his back on the window and continued his journey into the mansion. Her grapnel had found its next purchase, and a zipline awaited. "I'll be waiting, handsome…" she whispered to herself, casting one more thoughtful gaze at him, before turning elegantly and slipping away into the darkness, a vanishing flash of red shadow.
A/N - I'm so excited to finally be able to post this! This was my contribution to the "A Part of Me I Can't Let Go" fan-zine on Tumblr / Twitter, which was a celebration of Leon x Ada.
Although I haven't played RE4 for a while, it is one of my favourite games of all time (I own it on so many consoles lol), so when I was asked to contribute, I couldn't resist! I hope you enjoy and keep an eye out for all the other great contributions to what turned out to be an amazing fan-zine, as I'm sure more will be posted over the coming days now that sales have closed!
P.S. Because it was largely intended for an American audience, some of the spellings / phrasing may be slightly more American than my usual writing!