Kate Whistler was already having a horrible beginning of the week, in the next couple of days would be the day that Noah had died, she had requested the week off to not have to deal with anyone or anything, but a case had come up that DIA had to work with NCIS on. And since Kate was the liaison and the DIA Officer in Charge knew that the NCIS team would cause issues for the other officers, so he called Kate in.
When Kate arrived, it was clear that she wasn't doing okay, her clothes weren't perfectly pressed, and she looked like she hadn't slept or that she felt that great. Kate was still a bit drunk from the night before, not having been able to sleep, and hadn't had any food. SAC Jane Tennant and her team were in the conference room waiting for information, they had seen Kate walk in and to her boss's office. They could tell that she didn't look so great and wondered why her boss had called her in instead of just giving them the information.
"Whistler, I know that you requested this week off, but NCIS needs this information." Officer in Charge Davidson stated.
"I understand sir." Kate responded.
"Nelson has the files that they are requesting."
"I'll get them from him sir."
"Just give them the information and get them out of here. They refused to leave without the information. I don't know how you put up with them, but I'm tired of having them over here. Do you understand?"
"Yes, sir." Kate adjusted her jacket, bowed her head a little, and put her hands in front of her like she was trying to put something between them. "I'll brief them and assist with what they are requesting."
"I don't care what you do on your days off, but at least look a little more professional would you. Just do your job and get them out of here."
"Yes, sir."
"Well then go." Davidson said a bit louder that it looked like he was yelling.
Kate nodded and left the office; she headed for Officer Tom Nelson's desk. Nelson looked up when she approached him.
"Here are the files." Nelson said grabbing the files and then shoving them into Kate's hands.
"Thank you." Kate said and then turned a bit to head to the conference room.
"You owe me. You weren't here to handle them to begin with."
Kate turned back and nodded, the hand that wasn't holding the files was repeating the same motions that she did in Davidson's office.
In the conference room, Jane, Jesse, Lucy, Kai, and Ernie watched as Kate talked with her boss; the conversation short and it had looked like Kate was getting yelled at for something and when Kate had gone to grab the files from Nelson, again she was yelled at. They didn't really know the DIA team very well, but it was clear that they weren't as welcoming or friendly as they were. Jane had noticed when Kate was being yelled at that she adjusted her jacket, hung her head, and put her hands in front of her; Jane remembered when Kate had done that when she had snapped at her about Maggie. It made her wonder how often Kate took someone snapping or yelling at her, she tried to remember all the times that Kate did it. Jane's thoughts were interrupted by Kate walking into the conference room.
"Sorry about taking so long to get this information to you. Here are the files that you requested." Kate said her voice was a bit rough as she spoke.
"Sorry to pull you in on your time off. Thank you, Whistler." Jane said as she took the files from Kate. Kate immediately looked up at Jane's 'thank you', which caught Jane's attention. It was like she wasn't expecting a thank you.
"Do you need anything else?" Kate asked after a moment.
"We might need more information later, but I think these files are all we need here."
"Okay. I don't mean to be rude, but can we go to your conference room instead."
"Why don't want us here?" Lucy said, she was still a bit angry with Kate about Cara.
Jane saw Kate adjust her jacket, hang her head, and put her hands in front of herself.
"No. But…" Kate looked back to her boss and other officers for a moment before continuing, "but I figured you'd be more comfortable back at NCIS." Kate looked back at her boss and co-workers got everyone, but Lucy's attention. Kate was looking more and more uncomfortable while they were in the conference room.
"Like you care." Lucy said. Kate repeated the same motion that made her feel a bit more protected and Jane wasn't the only one who noticed it this time, Jesse, Kai, and Ernie saw it too.
"Thank you, Whistler. All our files and the evidence are over there. So, heading back would be a good idea. Why don't you come with us? That way you can answer any questions we have instead of us coming back over here." Jane said. Kate nodded in agreement.
They started to head out of the DIA conference room, when Kate's boss approached, and Kate immediately repeated her comfort motions as they were heading out.
"We are just heading out and over to NCIS sir." Kate said finally finding her voice.
"Good. Go." Davidson said sharply before turning away from them and headed back toward the other officers in the office.
This time Lucy finally noticed Davidson's and the other officers' eyes on them; they looked unhappy to have them there. Lucy looked to Kate and noticed how unlike herself she looked; she remembered Kate's mention that she was lucky to have the team that she did, and it made Lucy realize that Kate didn't have a team like that.
Once they were back at NCIS headquarters, they updated Kate that they had been called to a murder of Staff Sergeant Matt Fuller, who had shot to death near one of the local bars. They then went through the files that Kate had given them and part of what the evidence was indicating. They were still waiting for ballistics and the results of the fingerprints that were on the gun they had found a few feet down the alley from the victim.
Kate worked with Ernie, while Jesse, Lucy, and Kai tracked and followed up with leads. Jane had kept an eye on Kate and did a little research of her own about the team that Kate worked with. Finding that the DIA as much as they assisted NCIS, they didn't like them very much. When they had all gathered again in their conference room, Kai and Lucy had brought food back with them from a local place. They had all grabbed some food and were going over what they had found out.
"So, the lead we followed lead nowhere." Kai said.
"Still waiting on the fingerprints to come back, but the ballistics found that the bullets that killed Staff Sergeant Fuller were fired from the gun we found." Jesse said.
"Okay. It's getting late. How about we call it a day and pick this back up in the morning. Whistler, would you mind being here in the morning?" Jane said.
Kate didn't respond for a moment before looking up from her plate, that didn't have much food and she was picking at, and said, "I'll be here." The room went quiet while everyone was eating, but after a moment Kate got up to leave. Her plate still full of the food she had, and it was clear that she wasn't hungry. "I will see you guys in the morning." Kate cleaned up her space, threw away her plate and food before leaving. Jane watched her leave, something really felt off, but she left it for now. Ernie saw Jane's reaction to Kate and when everyone else had left for the night he approached Jane.
"Something I can do for you Ernie?" Jane said when Ernie entered her office.
"I'm worried about Whistler." Ernie said and then added, "And I noticed you've noticed that she's been off too."
"I have. Are we sure it's not about her and Lucy?"
Ernie looked a little surprised but thought he should have known that Jane would know about those too like the rest of the team did. "I don't think it's that."
"Do you think it's something to be concerned about?"
"I'm not sure. She requested this week off last year too."
"Ernie, please tell me you aren't looking into Whistler."
"I'm not, but I remember she looked and seemed similar to this, this time last year."
"Do we know if something happened?"
"I don't know, but something feels really off with her. And I don't think Lucy knows anything that would help figure out what is going on."
"We'll just have to keep an eye on her. I'll keep an eye on her."
"Okay."
The next day, Jane and her team all arrived at 7 AM; Kate however was still not there when they all gathered with their coffee in the conference room. It was fifteen minutes later that Kate showed up and she looked a little bit worse than the day before. No one made to mention it, but they were all getting a bit concerned, even Lucy. Kai had come back from getting the fingerprint analysis and found that Second Lieutenant Jakob Perossi fingerprints matched the prints on the gun. When he said Jakob's name, Kate's head moved faster than it had the last day and a half. Kate couldn't believe that Noah's best friend and fellow Marine would commit murder, but the evidence was in front of them.
"Do you know Jakob?" Jane asked.
"Yes, he's a Marine." Kate said. "He…I... I didn't think he would ever do something like this. I mean I knew he had issues overseas and had been reprimanded but I didn't see this."
"Kai, Lucy, bring Jakob in for questioning."
"Yes, ma'am." Kai said as he and Lucy grabbed their things and headed out.
Kai and Lucy brought Jakob in for questioning and Jane had asked Kate to be there during the interrogation; Jane knew that Kate knew Jakob and was hoping that she would be able to convince him to help himself by either clearing his name or pleading guilty and making it easier on himself. Kate was hesitant to do as Jane asked because she knew that she was already conflicted this week and this was just adding to it, but she was going to do as was asked of her and what she needed to do to do her job.
Kai, Lucy, and Kate entered the interrogation room, Kai and Lucy went in first while Kate brought up the back. The minute that Jakob saw Kate he thought that she was there to help him and be on his side but when she sat down across from him, he knew that she wasn't.
"I'm Special Agent Holman and this is Special Agent Tara. You know Officer Whistler. We have some questions for you." Kai said.
"Okay." Jakob said.
"Do you know Staff Sergeant Matt Fuller?" Lucy asked showing a picture of the victim.
"Yes, we met overseas." Jakob answered.
"Where overseas?"
"It's classified."
"Classified?"
"Yes, classified. I can't answer that question."
"Yes, you can Jakob. They have been given full access to your missions. How do you know Staff Sergeant Fuller?" Kate said.
"Kate, please whatever you have on me. It's not true."
"How do you know Staff Sergeant Fuller?" Lucy asked repeating the question.
"Answer the question Jakob." Kate demanded.
"Katie." Jakob said, but the look on Kate's face stopped him from continuing. Jakob calling Kate, 'Katie' made all of them look to Kate, who looked angry and none of them were sure why.
"Don't Jake." Kate said saying Jakob's nickname.
"You know me. I would never."
"I knew you."
"You still do. I haven't changed."
"Stop Jake. You have changed, just like I have. Just answer the question. How do you know the Staff Sergeant?"
"I met him, a little over thirteen years ago, when I was in Taji."
"Taji…2009." Kate's said but her voice broke as she said it.
"Yes." Jakob said.
"We have evidence that you shot and killed him." Kai said.
"No. I didn't do that." Jakob said.
"Your prints are on the gun and the bullets match." Lucy stated.
"Did you kill him?" Kai asked.
"I…I did…"
"Why? Why did you kill him?" Lucy asked.
"I'm sorry Kate. I'm so sorry."
"Why are you sorry to me? What did you do Jakob?"
"When I met Staff Sergeant Fuller there was a few missions going on at once. I couldn't go on any of them because I was gathering information. I got into some trouble with the locals. Fuller knew what I did."
"What did you do, Lieutenant?" Kai asked.
"I'm sorry Katie."
"You're sorry?! What did you do, Jake? What did you do?!" Kate yelled at Jakob. Jakob swallowed hard at the tears he could see forming in Kate's eyes; he wasn't supposed to get caught and Kate was the last person who was to know what he did. "Answer me, Jake. What did you do 2009 in Taji?!"
"Katie…I didn't…I didn't think…He wasn't supposed to…"
"He? He who? Staff Sergeant Fuller?" Lucy asked.
"What happened? What happened in Taji?" Kai asked.
"Answer Jake. What did you do?" Kate said her tears finally falling and her voice full of emotion as she slammed her hands down on the table. Making not only Jakob jump but also Kai and Lucy, who didn't notice Kate's voice earlier were fully aware now. Jane, Jesse, and Ernie rushed into the interrogation room; they could tell that something was wrong. "What did you do? Answer me, damn it!"
"I'm sorry Katie. I'm so sorry. When I shared that information I…I thought that it was useless information…I didn't mean to get them killed. I swear, Katie. I didn't mean for this to happen. I didn't know that they were sending them out. I'm sorry Katie. They were my best friends. I thought it was useless information. I didn't know they would get killed. I swear Kate. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Jakob tried to explain.
"I trusted you, Jake! He trusted you! You got him killed! You got him and two others killed by giving the information!" Kate yelled as she stood up and grabbed Jakob from across the table.
"Whistler." Jane said as she grabbed Kate to pull her away from Jakob.
"Whistler, let him go." Kai said as he tried to pry her hands from Jakob's shirt.
"You were his best friend! And you got him killed!" Kate yelled, not letting go of Jakob's shirt. Pulling him onto the table. "You knew what his death did to me! How close I got to joining him! How much I wanted to join him! You knew he was the only one that understood me! Who never judged me like our parents! You knew he was my best friend! My hero! You were there when I woke up in the hospital! How could you do that?! How could you?! How could you get Noah killed?!" Kate yelled at Jakob, her tears soaking Jakob's as she held him down on the table. Kai had finally pried Kate's hands from Jakob's shirt and Jane was able to pull her back.
"I'm sorry Katie. He wasn't supposed to go. Noah wasn't supposed to die." Jakob cried.
"You knew! You knew this whole time! You knew I blamed myself! I thought that him coming home for me graduating early was what got him killed! I thought he had lost focus! I thought it was my fault!"
"I know. I know, Katie. When I found you after his funeral, after you overdosed. I almost told you everything. But I couldn't. Katie, you died. And when they had finally brought you back. I couldn't tell you because I knew Noah was your hero and I took him from you. I nearly killed you. I'm sorry. It's my fault. I'm so sorry."
"I never want to see you again, Jake. I will never forgive you for what you've done." Kate said as she pulled away from everyone and left the room.
"I'm sorry Katie! I'm so sorry!" Jakob called after her as he tried to get up to follow her. "Please Katie."
The NCIS team were left in the room with Jakob; they continued the conversation until they believed that they had all that they needed from Jakob.
"Second Lieutenant Jakob Perossi, you are under arrest for the murder of Staff Sergeant Matt Fuller." Jane said and during this Ernie had pulled up the information about Kate's brother, Noah. "And leaking US intel that led to the ambush in Taji, Iraq that killed Captain Noah Whistler, Gunnery Sergeant Heather Miles, and Corporal Kevin Thomas."
"I get it and I'll give you whatever other information you want, but please someone needs to go after her. Someone needs to help her." Jakob said.
"What are you talking about?" Jesse asked not understanding.
"Katie. Someone needs to go after Katie, please. It's been over forty minutes and she knows the shortcuts to get there. Please." Jakob said with tears in his eyes.
"What are you talking about? Why would we need to go after her?" Lucy asked.
"The last time that she was this devastated was when Noah died. I found her after his funeral, near death, she had overdosed. She died on the way to the hospital. Noah was her everything, her brother, her person, her hero. He was ambushed thirteen years ago today. Today has been and will be a day that she is at her lowest. She normally takes the week off so she can drown her sorrows and memories away." Jakob's statement of taking the week off had Jane and Ernie looking to each other, they had wondered if this week meant something to Kate as she had taken it off. "This happening will send her into a spiral as if she wasn't already in one. I know you noticed her not pristine clothes, the little amount of food she's eaten, the bags under her eyes, and the fact that she smells like alcohol. Please don't do it for me, do it for Noah, do it for her. Because I know her, she's afraid she'll never be enough, that her inability to be able to show her emotions will make everyone leave her. Their parents weren't bad parents they just wanted Noah and Kate to be perfect and if they weren't they had no problem telling them what they were doing wrong. So, please Kate needs help, she needs someone to trust, she needs family. Please go after her."
"Jesse, take him to our holding cells. Ernie, see if you can track Whistler's phone. Kai and Lucy head over to Whistler's place." Jane said and everyone started to do as she said.
"I can't ping it. She turned it off." Ernie said before anyone left the room.
"Where would she go?" Jane asked Jakob. "Jakob, where would Whistler go?"
"I…I'm not sure…" Jakob said.
"Think, Jakob!" Lucy yelled at him. "Where would Kate go?"
"Where would Kate go to be closer to her brother?" Jane asked. Her question made Jesse, Lucy, Kai, and Ernie looked at her wondering how she had come up with that question. "Have Kate and Noah ever come to Hawaii? Where would they go if they were here?"
Jane's questions sparked Jakob's memories and he said, "They came here ever school break other than summer break until college, because of their parents' work. It was the safest place they could bring them. Off the grid. They could be together and still work. No agency could find them."
"Agency?" Jesse and Kai said confused by that comment.
"Noah and Kate's parents are heads of agencies. Their father is the director of the FBI, and their mother is the assistant director of the CIA. They didn't want Noah or Kate to be tracked back to them, they have their mother's, mother's maiden name." The teams' eyes went wide at that information.
"Where would she go, Jakob? Where was only a place that she and Noah could be free? Where would only the two of them go?"
"Hanaka`llio Beach. It was the farthest they could get from their parents here in Pearl Harbor. Noah taught Kate to swim there. It was their place. The place that Kate felt the safest and like she could be herself. The place that Noah didn't have to worry that neither he nor Kate would live up to their parent's expectations."
"Jesse, get him to the holding cell. I'm calling in a helo." Jane said as she pulled out her cell and made a call all while heading to the landing pad. Jesse hurried to shove Jakob in a cell so he could go with them.
Kate had she driven to her and Noah's spot, the last place she remembered being happy and with Noah. He was her everything, her hero and protector and when he died, it nearly killed her and now this. Jakob was the cause of her pain, he had come here with them, had been to their spot, had known what Noah meant to her. Jakob knew what his death did to her too. How she really hadn't wanted to continue without him. It only took Kate an hour to get up there, she knew the shortcuts and fastest ways to get there. She and Noah had driven it so much. She came here every year on the day that he had been killed and today was that day.
So, here she sat on the beach, the very spot that she and Noah would sit and talk. A fifth of Vodka and a bottle of Doxylamine, both nearly empty. She had started to feel tired twenty minutes ago and now she was barely able to keep her eyes open. She thought about how much pain there had been in her life, how she and Noah could never live up to their parents demands and expectations, how she had ruined the one relationship, with Lucy, that she had wanted her whole life. Her tears fell even as she slumped to the sand, falling unconscious, her breathing and heartbeat slowing.
The helo ride took ten minutes but had felt like forever to Lucy. She had blamed herself for not noticing something was wrong with Kate and that she had been punishing Kate for as long as she had. Lucy had wanted to hurt Kate as much as she had felt hurt, but she didn't want this. The we're now hovering over Hanaka`llio Beach searching for any sign of Kate.
"That's her car." Kai said as he pointed to the black sedan that they knew to be Kate's.
"Ernie, anything?" Jesse said as they continued to look to see if they could find Kate. Ernie was using thermal satellites to try and find where Kate was on the beach.
"About 100 yards East of you, under the big tree. There is a small heat signature. I think it's her, it's the only heat I'm seeing. But it's not the temperature that we should be seeing."
"Land here and we'll go." Jane said into the coms to tell the pilot.
"Yes, ma'am." The pilot said as he landed the helo.
The helo landed and the team rushed off and started to head toward the tree that Ernie had mentioned to them. Kai was the first to get there and found Kate, unconscious, barely breathing. He felt for a pulse, and he was barely able to feel it. He started CPR just to keep Kate's heart going.
"I got her! We need to get her to a hospital now!" Kai yelled as the others got to him and Kate.
"Grab her and we'll take the helo." Jane said as she wrapped an arm around Lucy who had stopped in place at seeing Kate. The nearly empty fifth of Vodka and Doxylamine laid nearby. Kai picked Kate up and they rushed back to the helo. "Head to Tripler Army Medical Center ASAP."
The pilot took off and headed straight to the hospital, Ernie was calling ahead to tell them that they were on the way and what Kate had overdosed on. Kai was continuing to do CPR to keep Kate's heart beating, while Jesse tried to comfort Lucy as she realized just how much she couldn't lose Kate and what not only her actions but the actions of someone Kate had trusted had done for Kate to end up wanting to kill herself.
It took slightly less time to get to Tripler than it had for them to get up to Hanaka`llio Beach, the wind Gods having been on their side to cut down just a little bit more of the travel time. Kai carried Kate off the helo and to the waiting medical team. They rushed Kate in and started to get her stabilized and start treatment for an overdose. The team were left waiting in the ER waiting room. Ernie had rushed in a few minutes later wanting to be with the team, hoping that they weren't too late.
It was a few hours later that the doctor came out and asked for Lucy, who Kate had listed as her emergency contact, Lucy and the team were immediately up and in front of the doctor asking how Kate was.
"Miss Whistler is still with us and is stable. We have moved her to the ICU just to keep an eye on her. She'll be put on a three day hold as she tried to kill herself and we want to make sure that we make sure that she is mentally stable before we release her. We do suggest that someone stay with her while she is here and in the ICU. I think that she really needs support. Do you know if she has any family or friends here? Not just co-workers." The doctor stated.
"She has us. We're her family." Ernie said.
"Good. She's going to need you. If you'll follow me, I will take you up to the ICU. She's still unconscious and we recommend talking with her." They followed the doctor up to the ICU and finally arrived at Kate's room; the doctor stopped at the door and turned back to them. "I want to warn you, it can be overwhelming to see someone you care about like this. She is unconscious and has a breathing tube in. She has wires for monitoring. We did put an IV in as well."
"Thank you doctor." Jane said as they waited for the doctor to walk away before moving toward entering the room.
"Nurses will be in and out. She will be out for a bit longer. Let us know if you or she need anything." The doctor said.
"We will. Thank you again." Jane said and then the doctor walked away.
Jane and the team moved to walk in the door and when they were able to see chat, they froze in the doorway. The doctor was right it was about the sight of Kate being overwhelming to them. She looked small and like she needed to be in the hospital. The rest of the team moved inside, but Lucy was frozen in place in the doorway. She wasn't prepared to see Kate like this, yes, she was angry at her for Cara, but this was a lot. Jane stood next to Lucy, watching her take in Kate's condition, she had known that the two of them had broken up, but she also knew that they both still loved each other even if Lucy was angry and Kate was sorry.
As the group entered Kate's room, Kai approached Kate with his jacket and gently put it over Kate; since they had found her, he had felt the need to try and make up for the loss of Noah. Seeing Kate break after learning that someone, she and her brother had trusted, was the cause of her brother's death. It had to be so much to take in. Jesse stood in the back wanting to keep an eye on those who come in and he was thinking over all of what has happened with Kate, wondering if there was something he could have done differently or if had known her past if he would have treated her the same. Ernie sat next to the wall by Jesse, wanting to keep an eye on Kate as well as Lucy. Ernie knew a little more about Kate then everyone else and he knew that Kate didn't have a 'family' like they did with NCIS.
"Lucy." Jane said trying to gauge how Lucy was feeling about seeing Kate like this. The two of them stayed outside the room for a moment, Jane could tell that Lucy really need to talk for a moment and/or just have company.
"I wanted to hurt her." Lucy said her voice breaking toward the end.
"Lucy, this is not your fault."
"I know. I do, but I could see how much she was struggling. Jakob was right. You could see how little she's slept, how she barely ate, how she smelled like alcohol, how she didn't care as much about her appearance. I still snapped at her. Questioned her. I knew that Noah's death was coming up and I still said somethings that…I wish that I could have taken them back the moment I said them. I knew I was being unusually cruel because I could." Lucy said letting her tears fall, Jane wrapped an arm around her as they continued to stand in the doorway. "I…I almost lost her…she wanted to die and…she almost did."
"Lucy."
"I wish that I could take it all back. She's a bet I'm willing to take, she always was."
"It's okay. She's still here." Jane said as she hugged Lucy, her heart breaking for the two of them. "You still have time, Lucy. And she, from now on, is going to have the family that she deserves and needs."
"You're right. We will be. I will be. I should have let her explain, like fully explain."
"It's in the past Lucy. You two need to move forward and not dwell on the what if. You both deserve to have someone." Jane said as Lucy pulled back from her to look at Kate again.
"Did you know that she said that I was lucky to have you guys?"
"I didn't."
"And she's right, I am. But she doesn't have this. She doesn't have people like I do. I know that the relationship between her and her parents has always been tense, but I had no clue that she had no one other than Noah and when he died, she lost her only support. The only person who she trusted, who she loved, who she knew would always be there no questions asked. My relationship with my parents doesn't seem as bad when you compare it to hers."
"I wondered if my work with the State Department would do the same to Alex and Julia. But I handled it very differently than Kate's parents and I can't imagine having so many secrets and so much judgement. I knew Kate's mom from when I worked with the State Department, I know the type of woman that she is and Kate must of had to hide as much of herself away to keep her from digging at her. And having a father just like her mother must have been twice as hard. I think that's why she always must be professional and seem emotionless. Because parents like them would have broken down every part of her. I think that is why she put up so many walls and tried to keep what the two of you had to herself."
"She had said that it was her not me that she had been embarrassed about, I don't think I understood that until now. Knowing who her parents are and what happened."
"All we can do is help her through it."
"Kate said that I didn't take the time to get to know her, she was right. I googled her. That's how I found out about Noah. I never took the time to actually get to know her. But when we were together, she was the opposite of at work. She asked me questions, she wanted to get to know me. It must have seemed like I was just in it for the sex."
"I'm sure she didn't think that."
"We never define what we were, and I never let her get that close, but she tried. She tried to let me in and with her history it must have been so hard for her."
"You can work on it from here on out. I've worked with Kate since she moved to the island. I've seen her get yelled at by her boss and others. I've seen her stand up for herself. I've seen her let herself feel, even when she was terrified of it. She fell in love with you, Lucy. She's still in love with you. And I've seen you fall in love with her. I know that you still love her even when you were angry with her for Cara. I know why Kate didn't tell Cara that they were done. I heard that the last conversation that she had with Noah was an argument and he died before they could make up. He might have been setting up to come home for her graduation, but he died, and she didn't get the chance to apologize. Noah, her best friend and hero died with that argument being the last time they talked. She can't forgive herself for that. And I think that is why she didn't break it off, she's afraid that that will be the last conversation that she has and she's afraid of it, of being the bad guy."
"I get that now. I wish that we could have worked through this before. But the truth is I don't think I was willing to listen to her before."
Kate's hand started to twitch, and Kai immediately was up and trying to calm Kate who was waking up, while Jesse hit the alarm to call in the nurse or doctor. Jane and Lucy hurried into the room as Kate's eyes started to flutter open. Lucy moved to hover over Kate as Jane did the same on the other side.
"It's okay, Kate. You're okay." Lucy said softly as she held on to one of Kate's hands and one on her shoulder to keep her laying down. Kate struggled against the breathing tube and reached one had to try and pull it out. "No, no. Kate that needs to stay in until the doctor comes to check on you. Please it's okay. You're okay." Lucy took her hand off Kate's shoulder and ran it through her hair to calm her down, it had worked one of the nights they had spent together, and Kate had had a nightmare. Kate stopped struggling and her eyes filled with tears. "It's okay. You're okay." Lucy brushed Kate's tears that did fall away.
"Agent Whistler…" The doctor said as he entered the room, but before he could continue Kate tried to sob at hearing her last name, but wasn't able to with the breathing tube in.
Lucy immediately tried to calm her running her fingers through Kate's hair and leaned close, "Kate, it's okay…shh…It's okay…Please stop fighting the tube…Shh…It's okay…Kate…" Lucy whispered in Kate's ear as she brushed Kate's tear away and leaned her forehead against Kate's. "It's okay. It's going to be okay."
Kai had taken Jane's place holding Kate's hand, while Jane pulled the doctor back for a moment and to try and explain why the last name might bring up some bad things for Kate. The doctor gave Kate and Lucy, a moment as Lucy walked Kate through calming down. When Kate had settled down enough Lucy leaned back away and looked Kate in the eyes, she could see the hurt, but she could also see the confusion.
"We'll talk later, I promise. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere." Lucy said softly as she continued to run her fingers through Kate's hair.
"Kate, you're breathing has improved and since you're awake we're going to take the tube out." The doctor said once he saw that Kate had calmed down enough. He and a nurse approached, and Kate finally looked at them. "When I pull this out, I need you to cough it will help the most when taking it out. Okay?" Kate looked at him and nodded. "Okay. I'll count to three. One…Two…Three…" The doctor pulled on the tube and Kate started to cough. Once the tube was out the nurse held a cup of water to Kate's lips, who hesitantly took a small sip.
"It's okay. It will help your throat feel better." The nurse said. "Having your family and friends around you will help as well."
Kate responded to the nurse, "I don't have family or friends, they're co-workers."
The NCIS team looked a bit saddened at Kate's thought they weren't friends or family, but they knew that it was true they hadn't treated her like a friend or family.
"Do you want them to leave while we talk about what happened?" The doctor asked.
Kate looked down at her right hand, which was in Kai's, him holding her hand and looking at her the way he had reminded her of her brother. She had wished for a brother, she missed that protection, and Kai was one of the only people who didn't just treat her like Jesse or Lucy had. And then Kate looked to her other hand which Lucy still was holding tight to, she had wished for more than anything that Lucy would care about her like this again, but at the same time she was hesitant in letting her in. Kate knew that her attempted suicide seemed like the only reason that Lucy was here, but she wanted it to not be the case.
"Kate?" The doctor said to pull her attention back to him. "Do you want them to leave?"
"No…" Kate said her voice was so unlike her it was small, unsure, and scared. Kai squeezed her hand and Lucy did the same, but also ran her fingers through Kate's hair. Kate sighed softly at the feeling and closed her eyes.
"Okay. We know that something has happened to create the situation where you almost drank a whole bottle of vodka and took Doxylamine. Can you tell us what lead to this?"
Kate swallowed and tears filled her eyes again, she took a deep breath and said, "It's more than one thing. A couple months ago I was broken up with, when for the first time since Noah died, I wanted to…to let someone in. My parents had tried to push me to join their agencies and I knew I was never going to be good enough to make them happy. They sent one of their agents, Cara, my ex. They tried to get her to persuade me in choosing one of theirs, but then Noah died. He was the one who did everything right. But he was my person, my hero. He protected me from them. Today, thirteen years ago, Noah was killed in an ambush in Taji, Iraq. And today, I found out Jakob, our friend and someone under Noah's command, who we both trusted with our lives is the reason that he died. This has happened before, when I was in college and Noah died, I didn't want to keep going. Jakob knew that he found me, he had kept me going. And now that I know that he caused all of this I… I just want to be with Noah. I want to feel safe again, feel like someone will always be there, like I'm…I'm enough."
"That is a lot in a small amount of time that has added up to it all being overwhelming. We are going to suggest that you start therapy, and we will allow you to go home when you are strong enough, but you can't be alone until it is determined that you will be okay. Okay?"
Kate pulled her hand from Kai's to adjust his jacket over her, bowed her head, and wrapped her arm around herself, which the NCIS team realized Kate did every time that she felt judged or criticized. "Yes, sir."
"We're going to move you to a lower floor now that you are stable and awake. We're only going to keep you for a couple days. When we do send you home you can't be on your own until it is determined that you will be okay on your own. Okay?" Kate nodded in agreement as did the NCIS team, they were agreeing to stay with Kate and not leave her on her own. "All right. Two of the staff will be in in a moment and I'll check on you a bit later." The doctor and the nurse then left leaving Kate and the team.
"You guys…you don't have to stay." Kate said as she held Kai's jacket tight to her.
"We aren't going anywhere, Kate." Jane said letting her know all of their thoughts about leaving, they weren't going anywhere. "I think that we should all talk."
"It's okay. I know what I did. It's not your fault. It's mine. I…"
"No, Kate. Stop. You are not the one to take all the blame or fault. We all acted on our own. I didn't do anything to try and stop anyone from saying what they said. And as much as I tried to not take sides I did. I'm sorry." Kai stated.
"We all should have acted better, and we shouldn't have treated you the way that we did. I'm sorry for what I did and said." Jesse added.
"I'm sorry that I did stand up for you more. I knew a little bit more about you than they did, but I didn't do anything to stop them." Ernie said.
"I should have put a stop to it a long time ago. And I'm sorry as well for not doing that and for my anger toward you during all that happened with Maggie." Jane said as she pried Kate's hand from holding Kai's jacket to herself, like it would protect her from them.
Kate's head bowed a little as she couldn't look at any of them without feeling like it was all a lie, the things that they were saying, she wanted it to be true, but she couldn't let herself believe it. Lucy could see that that was what Kate was doing and moved her hand that was in Kate's hair to lift Kate's chin so that she was looking at her.
"I'm sorry that I said you weren't a chance that I was willing to take, because you were and are. I was angry and hurt, but what I've done since then is inexcusable and I am so sorry for everything. I know that you are having a hard time believing anything that we are saying right now and not feeling like we are only saying it because we feel guilty that it led us to this point. But I swear to you, I promise you. We are telling you the truth." Lucy said as she held tight to Kate's hand and instead of holding her chin up to keep her looking at her moved to cup her cheek.
"I'm afraid to believe you." Kate whispered.
"I know and we haven't given you a reason to believe us. But weren't not going to stop trying to prove it to you that you can trust us. I promise we will be here for you. You aren't alone, not anymore and never again."
"Please don't make promise you can't keep." Kate whimpered. "Noah promised that too and he left."
"He didn't do it willingly, Kate. And we won't do it willingly either." Kai said putting his hand gently on Kate's shoulder and giving it a squeeze. "We are ʻohana from here on out. You will have someone to count on, to be safe with, to protect you."
"ʻOhana." Kate said sounding a bit stronger and more confident than she had in a while, looking around to the team and seeing the determination in their eyes for her to believe them. Kate could see that they were not going to stop trying to prove to her that they were telling the truth, that they were a family and that they weren't going to let her down if they had a choice in the matter.
"ʻOhana." Lucy said as Kate's eyes met hers. Lucy leaned down and gently kissed Kate softly.