I'll be writing the first few chapters of this before uploading the first. Also, I swear it's not an infinity stone. I promise.

"Ugh, my head..."

I woke up on the desert sands to the distant popping of gunfire. I had no idea how I got there, or where I was, or who I was, or why. I only knew my name. Julian.

In mere moments the gunfire stopped, being replaced with an explosion that shook the ground even where I stood. A fireball rose up ahead of me, and I watched as a small, shiny gray figure came closer and closer, screaming while flying overhead and crashing down behind me.

Quickly I ran over to him as best as I could in the sand, and I found him surrounded by metal parts that clearly used to be a suit. He began removing the few pieces that were still on him, before quickly picking one back up and pointing it at me the moment he saw me.

"Stay back!" I put my hands up slowly. "Do you speak english?"

"Maybe?"

"I'm pretty sure that's english." He got up from the sand. "How'd you get here? You escape when they all went after me?" I just shrugged my shoulders. "I'm gonna call that a yes. Got any weapons? Come on, empty your pockets, now!"

In my pockets I found a flashlight, a compass set in a casing of wood, a telescope, a pocket New Testament, and a small, dull yellow colored marble. Once my pockets were empty, I turned them inside out to show there was nothing left.

"You're not gonna kill me."

"No. Why would I want to kill you? I don't even know what's going on."

He put down the weapon, then picked himself up off the ground and dusted himself off. "Wonderful. And now we're stranded. Come on noodle arms. Maybe we can signal a helicopter or something-"

Suddenly my ears began ringing heavily, and I held them closed to no effect. I turned to my left to see in the sky a helicopter, and immediately my ears stopped. I pointed to it, then started flashing my flashlight at it. It turned towards us as the man with me saw it, running towards it and screaming and waving his arms wildly. They saw us, thank goodness, and before long they had landed, and one of the people was giving him a hug.

"How was the 'funvee'?" He didn't answer. "Next time you ride with me, okay?"

"Yeah I think I'll pass."

The man just laughed, then turned to me. "Who's this?"

He started walking to the helicopter. "I don't know. Possibly 'cause he doesn't know, not sure yet. His name's Julian. Picked 'em up in the middle of the desert. Must've got out when I did."

"How did you get out?"

"I'd rather not talk about it right now, thanks."

"Sorry."

"And what's that thing on your chest?"

"You mean in my chest."

"Excuse me, what did you just say?"

Soon after that we got transferred to a plane, and then we were in America again. Well, again for them. I learned on the flight that his name was Tony Stark, and he was a billionaire. Probably my new favorite billionaire, with how casual he was. And with me not knowing any others.

I learned something about myself on the plane too.

"So kid, you wanna play marbles or somethin-"

"NO! NO ONE TOUCHES IT! I'll fight every last person on the earth if it means keeping it!"

They all just stared at me, and after a moment I came to my senses and realized what had just happened. Slowly I sat back down.

"...got it Golem. Plus I don't know how to play marbles, I'm not that old. Wanna explain yourself or..."

"Not a clue on this one either."

"Right. Of course."

We landed a while after that, and Tony told me I would be sticking with him, since he had the best resources to "figure me out". So I found myself in shotgun next to Happy, with Pepper in the back with Tony.

"Where to sir?"

Pepper spoke first. "Take us to the hospital please Happy-"

"No"

Pepper turned to Tony "No?"

They talked over each other for a moment, then Tony came out on top. "I don't have to do anything, I've been in captivity for three months, there's two things I want to do. I want an American cheeseburger. And the other..."

"That not-"

"It's not what you think, I want you to call for a press conference now." They began talking over each other again, and again Tony won. "Hogan, drive. Cheeseburger first."

Suddenly I realized something. "Hey, we're getting burgers?"

"Yeah?"

"Have you ever had a steakhouse burger?"

"What? Who gets a burger at a steakhouse?"

"Don't tell me you've never had a steakhouse burger!"

"How've you had a steakhouse burger?"

I pondered that for a moment. How have I had a steakhouse burger? I didn't exist until a few hours ago! After a moment I brushed it off, deciding that educating this peasant was more important. "Happy, right?"

"Yes, who are you again?"

"Don't know, don't care. Take us to Chili's. This man's been living his life without ever having a proper burger and that's about to change."

We had some decent conversation on the way to the press conference, but I'll skip to the most important part.

"Wow." All eyes were on Tony Stark. "I'll admit, this is better than I expected. I never thought it would top a fast food burger, but..." He took another bite. "Here we are."

Happy and Pepper were in shock. We were lucky we hadn't pulled out of Chili's yet, since Happy in his current state wouldn't have been able to focus on the road. We would have to soon, or there wouldn't be any need to call a conference.

I was grinning ear to ear. "I know, right?!"

"And the pickles-"

"Only at Chili's. Thick sliced, smooth cut garlic pickles. None of that wavy cut crap. Such a better crunch. You don't even need lettuce!"

"When you said no lettuce I was ready to abort this mission, but something told me to just go with it. I'm glad I listened to me."

Happy and Pepper started digging into their shared order of sliders, which I said was the very least they were allowed to leave with. Soon they could see my point as well.

"You know, I never like burgers, but even I have to admit this is good."

Happy nodded. "I really didn't trust you before..." He paused for a moment. "...but I feel like I have to after this."

"Easy 9.5. The onion's good, but they could really work on the tomato."

I nodded. "Tomato is difficult. If you want the best, you go for beefsteak tomato, but you can only get that when it's in season. They could cut them just a tiny bit thicker though. The annoying thing is that when you get a good tomato, only two, three, four slices of it are big enough to get good coverage, and you can't do multiple slices because they'll slide out the sides. You're right though. Brioche bun, best pickles ever, some of the best burger meat, and quality onion and tomato. 9.5 easily. Top of the list."

Just trust me. You'll see what the marble is. Also someone please suggest tweezers in the reviews for an item for next chapter.