Author's Note: This chapter contains Self-harm

Chapter 3:

I was curled up on the couch, the tv on- the sound faded to the background for me- wrapped up in the blanket I kept on the couch, while the two men talked quietly in the kitchen. Gathering all the food from fans out of the bag, Bailey leaving a message for my manager to call him back asap.

I'm so sorry, Meda.

It's not your fault. I should've smelled something off... I can't believe I didn't.

Shh... It's not your fault, either. It's whoever did its fault. It's on them, not you.

I know. I just... I sighed, sinking deeper into the couch cushions. I just... I don't know.

I know. When you get your meds in you, you'll feel better. You just have to wait.

I know.

A glass of water entered my field of vision, pulling me from the conversation. I glanced up to see Garrus standing over me.

"Here. You need to drink something."

I carefully took it from him, taking a sip. And then, downed the whole thing like I was dying of thirst. I hadn't realized how thirsty I really was.

He took it from me, returning a moment later with it- full again. He did that a few more times- I was just so thirsty.

"Sorry." I mumbled the fourth time he handed it to me, this time drinking slowly.

I didn't finish the glass, my body finally realizing it had had enough.

"It's not a problem."

There was a moment of hesitation, where he opened his mouth to say something else, but shook his head and walked back to the kitchen.

Before I knew it, my alarm went off in my bedroom. Getting up, I went and turned it off. Stood there for a while, just staring off into space. Zoning out. Not a thought to be found in my head.

"Andromeda? Honey?"

Bailey's voice caught my attention, and I looked over at him questioningly.

"I'm taking this all back to the precinct. If there's anything you need, don't hesitate to ask." His expression shifted to concern. "Have you just been standing there since you walked in?"

I hesitated, slowly nodding.

"Ah, damn. Okay. Make sure to get plenty of rest today. Call your professors and tell them you won't-"

Shaking my head, I interrupted him. "I have lab today. I have to go."

"You need rest."

I bit my lip, choosing not to argue. But that didn't mean I wasn't going.

"Now, you stay home and rest up." He retreated from the room.

I went back to the living room, returning to staring off into space. Head empty, no thoughts.

I vaguely heard Bailey telling Garrus that "she gets like this. It's her bipolar acting up. Just... It sounds bad, but ignore her, for the most part. She'll be in her own little world today." before leaving.

I don't know how long passed, but eventually, Garrus came and crouched in front of me.

"Andromeda."

My eyes moved to his.

"You need to get ready soon. If you want to go to that class."

My eyes widened, and I nodded, shakily getting to my feet and going to my room to change.

It wasn't much longer, before our sky car was pulling up to the platform. I closed my eyes a moment, feeling a soft smile form on my lips. The doors opened, and I stepped out, Garrus coming around to stand beside me.

I was tackled by someone. My arms automatically wrapped around the quarian girl.

Laughing, "It's only been a month since we've last seen each other, what's this?"

"It's been a whole month! Meda, please. I need to see you more often, you know that!"

"Sorry, Say, my life has been..." I groaned. "hectic doesn't even cover it."

We pulled away from each other, and I didn't miss the look she shot to my companion.

"Oh, right. He's one of the reasons for the hectic." I motioned between them. "Garrus, this is Say'Rova nar Chayym, my best friend. Say, this is Garrus Vakarian. My new bodyguard from C-Sec."

"Ohhh. Okay." She nodded like it made perfect sense.

Which, I mean. It did. I was never one to be around men, really. Having no interest in things like that. Men or women, but men were more of the type to pursue things.

Things I didn't want.

"What happened to the other one?"

I smiled, waving it away. "He was reassigned, so Garrus got the gig."

"Makes sense." This nod more to herself than me.

"Anyway, we need to get in there, before they start." I reminded her gently.

She had a tendency of getting distracted and forgetting things.

"Right!" Another glance at him. "Is he coming in, too?"

I chuckled, amused. "You can talk directly to him, you know. He is standing right here."

She skittered back a few steps, waving her arms around. "Ah, no. That's okay. I'll, uh, see you inside!"

With that, she darted into the building.

I shook my head.

It was my turn to glance at him. "She's afraid of C-Sec, being quarian and all. I hope you don't take it personally- she's like that with all officers."

"It's understandable. I know a few who aren't... the nicest to quarians."

"Did you want to come in? Or would you rather find something else to do? There's also the observation room, too. It looks into the room I'll be in."

There was a pause, where he thought about it.

"I'll be in the observation room, if that's okay."

"Yeah. I can't see why anyone would have a problem with that. The school has already been informed of your presence, so you shouldn't be bothered."

I walked him to the door, before backing toward the door for my class. "I'll see you later." I gave him a smile.

He looked at me, a flash of confusion and concern going across his face, but it was quickly replaced by cool indifference. A nod, and he was gone from the hallway. I went in for class, just barely managing to not be late.

The time dragged by- every time I glanced at the time on my iPad, it seemed that only minutes had passed, instead of the hour that it felt like. I paid careful attention to the teacher, being meticulous in my movements. I didn't do anything outside the steps, following along the guidelines as if they were gospel.

Finally, the class was over, and I received praise for my work.

Say came bounding up to me, eager. "Let's go get something to eat!"

I rolled my eyes. "You mean, me eating, and you drinking something through a straw."

"Hey. It's still fun for me. I miss hanging out with you."

"I know. It's so much easier between years."

I walked with her out into the hallway, Garrus meeting us.

"We're going to get something to eat." I explained. "I assume you're joining us?"

"Yeah." He motioned toward the exit door. "Lead the way."

It quickly became apparent that we would have to have a talk.

I stopped, an eyebrow raised. Calling out to him. "Garrus."

He reached us, tilting his head. "Yeah?"

"You don't have to follow behind us, like a stalker." I said, exasperated. "Walk with us."

"I-"

"I know that's how they do it in media- following behind and keeping an eye on everything around the person they're protecting- but I don't like it. It feels weird. Just... walk with us."

Say nodded, supporting my words.

"Even Say agrees." I felt a little smug at that- she never wanted to be around C-Sec, if she could help it.

He stared at me for a moment, before shrugging. "If that's what you want."

"Thank you." I beamed at him, looping my arm through Say's and continuing on our way.

He fell into step on my other side.

And Gen was going crazy in my head, loving it so much.

I mentally rolled my eyes.

Once we were in the restaurant and seated at a booth, our order taken, I felt eyes on me.

A group of teenagers, asari and humans, were staring at me with wide eyes. I put on my best smile and wiggled my fingers at them in greeting. They all let out shrill squeals and ducked back into their booth.

"Give me a minute." I winked at my companions, getting up and making my way over to them.

They were so wrapped up in fangirling, they failed to notice me.

"Hey, girls."

They jumped, their eyes impossibly wide- wider than before.

"I was thinking... Would you like to take a picture with me?"

"Ohmygodyes!" One of them screamed, immediately getting her omni-tool ready.

I took pictures with each of them- there were four altogether- the girls taking each other's photos and exchanging them to the right person.

After many, many "thank you"s, I was able to go back to my own table.

"I love doing that." I chuckled.

Say laughed. "I thought the waitress was going to kick you guys out, but I think she recognized you."

"Which one?"

She pointed out a middle-aged woman, rushing about.

"Excuse me, ma'am?" I called out, flagging her down.

"O-Oh, yes?" She looked starstruck.

Yup. Definitely recognized me.

"I- it's totally okay if you can't or don't want to, I know you're at work right now, but- I was wondering if you wanted to take a picture together?"

I thought she was going to faint. She started to swoon, and I jumped up, grabbing her elbow to steady her.

"Are you okay?" I asked, worried.

"I'm... so honored."

I chuckled. "Say, can you take it?"

My best friend got up and snapped the shot, sending it to the woman.

"Thank you, so much. You don't know what this means to me."

"It's what I live for- making fans happy." My smile wasn't forced, now. One hundred percent genuine.

For now.

...

"Bye!" I waved at Say as she climbed into her sky car.

It drove off, leaving me and Garrus to get into our own.

Once back at my apartment, I changed into my "depressed" clothes- the same as my "lounging at home" clothes, but with an oversized hoodie thrown in, instead of the flannel. I sat on my bed for a bit, hoodie in hand, not yet slipping it on.

I was debating.

Meda, don't. It was soft. Not a demand, but a plea.

It helps.

For a short time.

That's all I need. Just a short time. I'll take my five o'clock meds, and it'll take the edge off, but... Right now, I need something.

You know... you could-

I know. It came out harsh, and I shut her out.

Leaving me with the demons that berated me and pushed me down.

A half hour later, I threw on the hoodie, hiding the bandage wrapped around my left forearm, and went out to get some food.

I should've known.

His head lifted from looking down at the datapad, confusion clear on his face. "Is that... blood?"

I wondered if he could hear how my heart started thundering at his words.

"Ah, yeah. I ripped a cuticle." I waved it off, digging through the fridge.

He got up, coming up behind me. "That's more than just a small cut."

I whirled around, watching in horror as he leaned in and sniffed me, his eyes zeroing in on my arm. I immediately put it behind my back, feeling the blood drain from my face.

His eyes narrowed, flashing up to my face, but I refused to look back at him, staring down at the floor.

"What are you hiding?"

"Nothing." Instant reply.

"Show me."

"No."

"If it's nothing, then there's nothing to show me, but you just confirmed it." A step closer, and he was in my personal space. "Show me, or I'll call Bailey."

"No!" I screeched, finally meeting his eyes. "Please! You can't tell him!" My eyes began watering, tears slowly trailing down my cheeks.

He blinked, taken aback by the force of my plea. Giving himself a small shake, he held out a hand.

"Let me see."

"Promise you won't tell." I begged.

Hesitation.

After a few minutes of deep thought, he gave a resolute nod. "I promise."

My shoulders relaxed, and I let out a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding.

Carefully, I peeled the hoodie off, holding out my arm. The blood had seeped through the bandage- that's why it had smelled so strongly to him.

"What... What happened?" Confused.

"I..." I shook my head, the tears coming more earnestly now.

Only four people knew I did this- Bailey being one of them. Bailey, my therapist, Kasumi, and Nyreen.

And now, Garrus.

I watched as he put the pieces together, his eyes widening as realization hit.

He inhaled sharply, searching my face. "You... did this to yourself?"