CHAPTER ONE

This is the sequel to Hale Charming, you have to read that first or this will make no sense. I considered leaving this unposted till next week but the reviews I got had this little voice in the corner of my mind that sounded just like Jax telling me it was cruel and unusual punishment to leave you all hanging so unsatisfied.

I'm not sure where I'm going, I'm pretty much driving on auto pilot through the streets of Charming, other than the 2 tears no more have fallen from my eyes and I'm not sure if it's a good thing or not. Eventually I realise that I've driven in a massive circle right around town and I've ended up in Elliot's driveway.

Parking in front of his house I get out of the car as his front door opens; he steps through and pulls the door closed behind him. "Sarah, what's up? The plans aren't ready yet, Jenny said they won't be done for at least a week."

I nod, "I know, just needed somewhere to go and think, and to hide my truck while I do it, can I borrow a parking space?"

"Sure." There's not even a moment's hesitation as he agrees, "Pull behind the building. If you need somewhere to think you're welcome to use one of the quads from behind the garage and go for a ride."

"Thanks Ell." I say quietly. "Can you move the truck; don't think I could drive it again at the moment."

Elliot nods; I return to the truck briefly for my phone and the pack of smokes and lighter tucked in the console between the front seats.

Elliot calls my name as I walk towards the barn. "Sarah. It'll get better."

I snort softly, "I'm not sure about that." I reply forcing my feet to move again, turning the corner at the back of the garage I see a line of 3 quad bikes and helmets. Fastening a helmet to my head I silently thank David for having a quad bike as a teenager, least I know how to operate one of these.

I pull away from the garage and follow a clearly marked path between the trees, my phone vibrates almost constantly in my pocket before I stop in a clearing about 4 miles from where I started. There's a circle gap in the trees overhead and a patch of sunlight in the middle. Parking the bike beside a tree I walk to the centre of the sun and sit down on the grass.

Pulling my phone from my pocket it vibrates again with another call, Jax's name flashes across the tiny display and seeing that 3 letter word causes the dam to break and I burst into tears. Tossing the phone into the grass beside me I pull out the pack of smokes and the lighter I'd brought Jax yesterday. The random collection of lighters that I'd picked through had been funny, but the one that I pulled out and brought now seems pathetic, the blue and grey pattern reminded me of his and my eye colours mixed together. I'd stupidly taken it as a sign that things would be okay.

Peeling open the top of the pack of cigarettes I pull one out and stare at it as the tears flow, the smell of it is hard to deal with. Given that Jax smoked the same brand of cigarettes since he started at age 16 the smell has always reminded me of him, and it probably always will. Flicking the lighter with my thumb I ignore the trail of tears and try and work out what to do now.

Throwing myself back into the grass I stare at the sky and start thinking. I can't leave; I promised Donna that I wouldn't. But I can't stay around the club; I can't watch Jax find someone else, someone who won't have a club member saying 'no you can't'. Even though I love Jax I can't be with him against Clays wishes. Clay is the closest thing to a father I have, he's my only connection to my family.

I stop thinking for a while and watch the clouds drift across the sky in front of me, I'm not sure how long passes, but when I finally sit up again I realise something that I tried to make Jax and Clay see.

No matter how much I love them both, the club has to come first, if my being in a relationship with Jax is going to make it hard for them to sit at the same table then I can't do it. If my being in Charming is going to make it hard for the Club then I'll leave, even as much as I'll hate it, and hate having to tell Donna I lied.

Resolve made I pick up my phone and check the time, it's still not even 11am and I feel like my whole world has been ripped apart in one day, less then that given that I left the clubhouse at 9am. The list of missed calls is long, in the 2 hours since I left Teller-Morrow Jax has tried to ring me 120 times, Clay has tried 60, Donna has tried 4, Gemma has sent me 3 text messages telling me to come back, all timed at between 5 and 10 minutes after I left. The message light is flashing on the phone, setting back onto the bike I dial the message service and hear the automated voice "You have 23 new messages."

The first 16 messages are all Jax saying 2 words in each message "Come back", which I delete after listening to them. The 17th message is Clay the second I hear his voice I hit the delete button. The 18th and 19th messages are Donna, the first saying to come back, the second reminding me I promised I wouldn't leave again. The 20th message is Gemma telling me that I need to come to the lot. The 21st and 22nd messages are nothing, there's not a word said on them. The 23rd message is Jax again asking me again and again to come back and that he loves me, that's the only message I save from them all.

Riding back through the trees it doesn't take long before they give way to the field behind the Oswald house. Parking the bike back where I found it I head to the back door instead of around the front and knock gently.

Elliot's daughter answers the door, the 11 year old looking up at me, "Who are you?"

"My name's Sarah. Is your dad around?"

"He's out the front, talking to the men on motorbikes." Tristen looks up at me.

Shit. The thought flashes across my brain but I fasten a smile on my lips, "Oh, well he's expecting me, can I come in?"

Karen comes through the door behind her daughter and looks over at me, the tear streaks down my face and the dirt that's clinging to my Capri's and shirt, she smiles and ushers me into the house and through to the front. "Elliot's out talking with Clay. Apparently someone saw your truck turn into the driveway. They know you're here."

I sigh and nod, "Can I just wash my face then I'll take the leather clad monsters out of here."

Karen nods and shows me to a downstairs bathroom and quietly closes the door behind her as she leaves, telling me she'll be in the kitchen when I'm done.

5 minutes later I've washed my face and brushed my hair out with my fingers, tugging it all down around my neck to cover the bruise from Jax. I can't do anything about my clothes and the dirt that's clinging to me but I don't care.

Opening the door again I go back to the kitchen and find Karen and Tristen eating sandwiches at the table. "Sorry to interrupt your Sunday. Thank you for the peace."

Karen stands up and walks with me towards the front of the house again, "Sarah, you saved our businesses. If there is anything you need, just ask."

I nod, "Thank you again. I better go rescue Ell."

Opening the door I hear Elliot, "If she is here I'm not telling you."

"It's okay, I'm here." I say quietly.

Elliot turns towards me and looks me over, "You okay?"

I shake my head, "Nope, nowhere near it."

"Wow, don't know what to say to that." He replies, holding my keys out. "Your truck is in the last bay; go in through the blue door and push the button for bay 5 and the door will open."

"K thanks Ell." I smile as he steps past me before turning to face the leather clad men standing in the gravel.

I avoid Jax's eyes and Clay's, fixing on Happy, Chibs and Opie. "Why are you all here?"

Jax moves to come up the stairs but I back towards the door as he moves, "We came to bring you home." He says quietly.

I snort, "What home? Do I even have one anymore? I'm not sure."

Clay clears his throat, "You always have a home at Teller-Morrow."

I snap my head towards him, "Bullshit. I'll have a home there as long as I toe the line and act like the good little girl, obeying everything you say. I can't do it Clay. I can't stay if it's going to cause the club harm, I can't stay knowing I'll have to look at you every day and know that you're the one who destroyed the happiness I felt this morning when the only man I've ever loved ask me to be his Old Lady. I can't stay knowing that the man I love, and will always love, will move on; he'll meet someone else, someone who YOU have no hold over, someone who can be with him without fear of disapproval or internal conflict."

I sigh softly, "I just can't."

Opie draws my attention from the back of the group, "What about Donna."

I look at him and tears well in my eyes again, but I refuse to let them fall. "I love Donna, she knows that, she also knows that I love Jax; always have, always will. She won't like it, but she'll understand. And if she doesn't then just ask her how she'd feel if she had to stay here watching you having a life with someone else."

By the end of my sentence my voice is almost a whisper. I spent a couple of seconds looking at each of the Sons standing in front of me before taking a deep breath. "I'm going to go and get in my car now, you're all going to go back to the Clubhouse and leave me alone." I walk along the deck towards the steps that lead straight to the garage, my keys digging into my hand.

"Wait." Clay orders and I shake my head as I continue walking. "Well, at least tell us where you're going."

I sigh, "I'm going to my house, alone, where I'd like to be left."

Descending the stairs I head straight into the garage and close the door behind me, finding the button that opens the roller door in front of where my car is parked I get in the car and pull out past the 5 bikes and onto the road.