MiracuCrack #F9X3: Strike Back, Strike Forth, Strike Three, He's Out!
-or-
Five Times That Felix And Gabriel Really, Really, Really Didn't Think This Whole Thing Through
by DFC
(Timeline: Strike Back, obviously. OBVIOUS STRIKE BACK SPOILERS SO IF YOU'RE STILL READING AFTER THIS, DON'T BLAME ME.)
Felix grinned at his uncle, his feet up on the desk. "Ladybug made a biiiiiig mistake," he grinned. "One that will prove beneficial to both of us."
Gabriel forced himself to remain stonefaced, staring at his Dog-costumed nephew. "You have guts, Felix. I will grant you that much," he noted. "Were I in your shoes, this is the very last place that I would have come."
"Do you think that I would've come if I didn't have a plan?" asked Felix. "Seriously."
"Bravery only takes you so far, my boy," warned Gabriel. "You are privy to far too many secrets for me to take you lightly."
"Oh, I know secrets. I know plenty of secrets," snapped Felix. "Where my Aunt Emilie is, for instance. Who put her there. What kind of hobbies you have in your spare time, dressed like a drunken luchador."
"Have a care," Gabriel shouted. "Just for questioning my fashion sense, I should-"
"I am aware," Felix interrupted him, "that you hold my life in your hands, in a matter of speaking. But if you were simply going to poof me out of existence, you'd have done it already. You're curious about why I'm here."
"I am."
"Then let me cut to the chase."
Felix transformed back to his normal self. Barkk stared at him and let out a plaintive whine, but was ignored.
"A bargain," Felix began. "I want the Peacock - the real one. It's the only way for me to be sure that I'll be safe."
"And in return? What could you possibly have to offer... that...?"
Felix held up Ladybug's yo-yo, causing Gabriel to trail off and stare with some wonder.
"The Miracle Box is in this. I will give you every Miraculous in there, plus the Dog; that's served its purpose for me." Felix ignored a steadily increasing growl from Barkk. "Though we should hurry; I'm not sure if she can recall this thing."
"Sixteen Miraculous for one? You're not much of a barterer," sneered Gabriel. "Though I do approve of those terms."
"I have no intentions of making more of an enemy of Ladybug than I already have," Felix countered. "You're better equipped to defeat her than I am... and I need you to defeat her if I'm ever to hug my aunt again."
Gabriel considered that.
"The family ring. I would have that, as well," he stated. "And my tablet, with the translation of the lore."
"The ring, you can have," Felix allowed, after a moment's thought. "If I have the Peacock, it shouldn't be a threat, I don't think. Plus, if I don't enter a password on a certain website once a week, your secret is exposed... so I wouldn't try controlling me if I were you."
"A deadman's switch, hmmm?" Gabriel smiled. "A reasonable precaution."
"The tablet, I want to read through some more. If I have the Peacock, I want to be sure about how it works," said Felix. "I'll mail it back to you when I've made a copy."
"So... I leave you alone, you leave me alone. I defeat Ladybug and Chat Noir, I get my wife back, you get your aunt back. And if I call upon you for help now and then..." mused Gabriel.
"Don't push your luck. I'm giving you an amazing deal here," Felix insisted. "Do we have an accord?"
In response, Gabriel plucked a brooch from his lapel and extended his hand to Felix, reaching out with his empty hand as well.
"I believe that we do."
INTERLUDE #1:
The exchange completed, Felix marveled at the Miraculous in his hands, a look of glee on his face.
"Nice doing business with you," he cackled, rising from his seat.
"Not so fast, young man. There is one other consideration."
Gabriel turned around to face Felix once more, holding up his left hand... upon which he had quickly slipped a certain ring.
"I told you, Uncle," Felix declared. "If you try to control me, I will expose you as Hawkmoth."
"Fine. Felix... never tell anyone anything you have learned about me, your aunt, or the Miraculous. And do not move."
Felix's jaw dropped in shock. He turned to run... but could not.
"I assume your website can be reached on your smartphone. Disable it permanently, now."
A minute of hunt-and-peck typing resulted in a look of pure fear on Felix's face.
"Now... give me back the Peacock."
His hand shaking as it betrayed him, Felix did as he was told.
"You'll... you'll regret this," he ventured, hesitantly. "I promise you that."
"You know, I really do not think that I will?" smiled Gabriel, as he reattached the Peacock to his person. "I might even make another one of you in a week or two. A newer model, you know. Improved firmware and all."
And with a transformation phrase and a snap of his fingers... that was that.
INTERLUDE #2:
The exchange completed, Felix marveled at the Miraculous in his hands, a look of glee on his face.
"Nice doing business with you," he cackled, rising from his seat.
"Not so fast, young man. There is one other consideration."
Gabriel held the yo-yo aloft. "The other Miraculous," he insisted. "I would view them before you leave."
He stared at it as he turned it one way, then another. "How do you... open this thing?" he asked.
"Beats me. I saw her do it, so there must be a hidden catch or something," offered Felix.
Feverishly, Gabriel poked and prodded the yo-yo from all angles. Felix slowly edged his way towards the room's door until Gabriel glared at him, causing him to stop with a sheepish grin.
"I swear that it opens! I know it does," Felix insisted. "Like I said, I need you to win for Aunt Emilie's sake! I'm not trying to screw you over."
"You would not dare," fumed Gabriel. "But... ah, I believe that this is it..."
Curiosity filled Gabriel's face, followed by fury.
"Do I even want to know?" asked Felix, quietly.
"The owner of this Miraculous tool has set up two-factor authentication," recited Gabriel, passing on the message displayed upon the yo-yo's face. "Please enter the six-digit code that was just messaged to your cell phone..."
As Felix began to run, he heard a stern voice bark, "And where is it that you believe that you are going?"
INTERLUDE #3:
The exchange completed, Felix marveled at the Miraculous in his hands, a look of glee on his face.
"Nice doing business with you," he cackled, rising from his seat.
"Not so fast, young man. There is one other consideration."
Gabriel held the yo-yo aloft. "The other Miraculous," he insisted. "I would view them before you leave."
He opened the tool, greed and triumph in his eyes, then reached inside. When he pulled his hand out, an object was in it, but it didn't appear to Felix to be jewelry.
"...What is that?" Felix asked.
"...A bus pass."
Gabriel reached inside again, retrieving more objects. "Ah... a hairbrush. A library card... without a name on it, alas. Is... is that a photograph of my son?" he frowned.
"Looks like it. I really don't think that it's me," smirked Felix. "Ladybug and I don't get along very well."
"I don't believe this," Gabriel grumbled. He turned the yo-yo upside-down and shook it, creating a small cascade of objects. "A phone battery pack... I think those are vitamins... another picture of my son. Why the devil does she carry around a kazoo? A top hat, some paper clips... and what's this?"
He held up a small sheet of paper. Reading aloud from it, Gabriel's voice grew colder still:
"There are approximately 4,398,551 dimensional portals inside this yo-yo. Good luck finding the one holding the Miracle Box without knowing which one it is."
Felix shifted nervously as Gabriel stared at him, holding the note aloft. "It is taped to yet another picture of my son," Gabriel added.
"That's... very interesting, Uncle. I, um, need to go see a man about a dog-"
And he was off and running!
INTERLUDE #4:
Smugly, Hawkmoth watched his nephew leave. There were no words of parting, no offers to meet up later and have a pleasant meal together... it was unspoken, but crystal clear that their next meeting should not happen any time soon.
I will deal with Felix in my own way, my own time, grinned Hawkmoth. WIth sixteen Miraculous at my beck and call, including ones with power over time and space themselves... seizing the Peacock from him should be child's play. But I will bide my time. Felix hinted at secondary measures of protecting himself; I must find and disable those first.
But he has done me a good turn in the end, has he not? Look at what lies before me now.
A sea of angry Kwami faces glared back at him, each of their Miraculous lying still on the desk.
"You do not own us yet, Hawkmoth," Wayzz stammered in defiance. "You do not know our transformation phrases."
"Oh, do I not?" Hawkmoth smirked. "I have access to your Book of Lore, and once my... partner returns my tablet, its full translation. Then I can order all of you around at my leisure."
"Until then, you can't tell us what to do," sniffed Kaalki.
"it is only a matter of time," he sneered back. "You will - hey, where are you four going?"
As Roarr, Xuppu, Pollen and Trixx scattered in various directions, Trixx shot Hawkmoth a wave. "Oh, just going exploring," Trixx grinned. "Since we can fly through walls and earth and all that, we're just going to wander around for a little bit and SEE WHOSE HOUSE THIS IS!"
"And transformations have a certain range, right?" Xuppu laughed. "I bet you can catch up to one of us. But not all four at once!"
Hawkmoth stared at them as they vanished into the walls and ceiling, then stared at Wayzz... who blew a small raspberry in Hawkmoth's direction.
INTERLUDE #5:
As Felix left, he mused over the implications of his actions.
Uncle should be satisfied by what I've done, Felix thought. He has the Miraculous. He can order Nooroo to tell him the others' transformation phrases, so he can control them all before they can wander off. And since he has the Dog, he can give them to his proxies, then call them back if it looks as if they'll be captured by Ladybug.
He shook his head as he walked through the foyer of his uncle's mansion, approaching the front door. Ladybug, he shivered. Boy, is she ever going to be FURIOUS at me! And she has every right to be, he conceded. But she has to understand, right? My life was in danger as long as Uncle had this Miraculous. He could have killed me at any moment! I had... I had no choice but to act in self-defense.
And for Aunt Emilie's sake... and for Adrien's! How do I know that Uncle would never get angry at HIM and switch HIM off?
Once I get home, I'll have to hide out until I set up my battle plan, he reasoned. I can use the Peacock to protect myself. Luckily, no one but Ladybug knows that I betrayed her, so if I can get out of sight-
YIKES!
Three steps past the front door, he cried out as a yo-yo wrapped itself around his body, extremely tightly. Hurled with exquisite aim, the yo-yo whipped around Felix's head as well, closing his jaw tightly.
"This yo-yo may be empty of the Miraculous now... but it still works," a stern voice declared. "We're going for a little ride now."
Minutes later, Felix counted his options. Given that he was still entangled head-to-toe, that Ladybug had confiscated the Peacock from him, and that he was hanging upside-down from the Arc de Triomphe... counting them didn't take long.
"I... I have never come closer to doing something truly horrible," Ladybug declared. "Duusu explained to me... what you really are. I could do to you what Mayura did to my own double that time. And you might just deserve that."
"NNNNNMMMPH!" gasped Felix. Grudgingly, Ladybug loosened the impromptu gag, allowing him to speak clearly now that transforming with the Peacock was not an option. "I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm so sorry I HAD TO DO IT-"
"Duusu..."
"DON'T! Please!" Felix howled. "You have to understand... he could have dissolved me at any time! My life was at stake! I had to do whatever it took."
"I'm aware of that," frowned Ladybug, softening only slightly. "Or you could have told me what you knew."
"I... could've," conceded Felix. "I thought of myself. And... of my aunt." He wriggled for a moment, then realized that getting free of his binding was the very last thing he'd want to do while dangling as such. "How did you find me so quickly, anyway?"
"You double-crossed your cousin, pretending to be him," said Ladybug, flatly.
"I was trying to help him!" Felix cried out. "To keep him from being sent abroad with that redhead!"
"Okay... that was a good deed, at least," Ladybug admitted. "But come on, now. You couldn't have even hinted things to me?"
As Felix shook his head helplessly, she sighed. "Anyway, I compared notes with your cousin, and he saw you leaving the mansion. So I came running."
"You... do know what that implies, right?" Felix whimpered. "About my uncle? About what I just... handed over to him?"
"I do."
If words could kill, Felix's troubles would've been over right there.
"You have dug the deepest hole imaginable for Chat and I," Ladybug accused him. "I haven't the slightest idea of what to do next, with all that raw power in his hands. I... I have to get Adrien out of here," she gulped, fear and anguish overcoming her anger. "I don't know where to take him, or where he can possibly be safe. If my family is safe. If anyone is safe...!"
Felix closed his eyes. "Maybe you sh-should just shut me off," he allowed. "It's what I deserve."
"There is one other option."
Gently, Ladybug leaned down and replaced the Peacock on Felix's chest.
He stared back at her in silence, uncomprehending.
"You've done me a service, however inadvertently," Ladybug said. "You've proven to me who's behind Hawkmoth's mask. I don't know how to battle someone who has sixteen Miraculous, but I know where they are and who has them. And like you said... your life was at stake."
She stared back in the direction of the mansion. "I need every ally I can get from now on. Even if it's you," she added, flatly. "I wouldn't be much of a hero if I put your life at risk, huh? And I don't believe that you truly want your cousin to be hurt, either."
"I d-don't. Honest."
"Then help me now."
With a gesture, Ladybug flipped Felix to safer ground atop the Arc, then freed him from his bonds.
"Help me get Adrien out of that house this instant. Cause a distraction, send a giant bug, be sneaky, whatever you think will help. But get him to safety. If anything happened to him... I don't... I don't know what I would do."
"You love him, don't you?" asked Felix, without any ulterior motive.
"I do."
"Then my help may remain behind-the-scenes. It kind of has to," declared Felix. "And I still need to rescue my aunt. Has Duusu told you about her? Or about... Adrien?"
"I know about Adrien's mother now. I won't see her harmed, if I can help it. And as for Adrien... I don't want to know."
Ladybug closed her own eyes, momentarily. "He's real. No matter what the truth may be. And so are you."
"You mean that," marveled Felix.
"Of course I do."
"In that case... this feather's about to spread his wings."
...THE BEGINNING?