Rogue woke up with Remy's breath on the back of her neck and half her body on the floor. She was uncovered and didn't have a bit of pillow.
She almost dug her elbow into his ribs, annoyed at his lack of chivalry. Her other option was to cuddle with him and make room for herself on the bed. A smile escaped her lips just thinking about it, but realized she was being delusional and she was struck by reality.
She shouldn't be there, far from it, like this. Her mother's voice echoed in her head. And Mystique had been proven right over the years. She just wished her mother was wrong, just this once. Her heart began to beat faster and faster and she felt short of breath. She closed her eyes, focused on breathing, and rolled onto the mattress where she should have slept. Trying to make as little noise as possible, she got up and with her boots and jacket in hand left the room.
The sun wasn't out and it was cold, Rogue put on her jacket and searched for a place where she could calm down. She should leave, run away without looking back. Forget about him, forget about her mother and quit looking for affection by being useful to others.
Rogue mounted her horse and galloped away, protected by the dawn. If she disappeared she wouldn't put Remy in danger. But as she rode away from the village, she felt consumed by guilt. She was being selfish, couldn't disguise saving herself as a good deed.
She didn't know what the hell Remy wanted from her but didn't want to be a liar anymore. Because he had been good to her even when he didn't have to.
But if she didn't lead him into the trap she would be betraying the woman who had taken care of her when no one else would.
She was going to lose her mind. Whatever she decided was the wrong choice. Letting out a cry of frustration Rogue turned away.
When Rogue walked into the canteen it was crowded with people. Wasn't aware of how long she had been out, but from the sun's position, it may have been a couple of hours.
Remy and Bishop were drinking coffee at the bar, Remy smiled as soon as he saw her walk in and she felt terrible. She tried to smile back but was unsuccessful because he let out an exhausted, almost imperceptible sigh disguised with a cynical smile.
"Good morning, " Lucas said leaving her a spot by the bar. " Did you have breakfast?"
"I'm not hungry, thanks," Rogue replied filling a cup.
Remy just looked at her and drank from his coffee in silence. Rogue didn't know what to say, so she focused on her coffee as if it was the most fascinating thing in the place. Out of the corner of her eye she saw him rolling his eyes.
"Good news, Lucas is going to help me catch Creed," he announced smilingly patting his friend on the back. " The big guy is in the mood for some action."
So that was it, Remy had a grudge against Victor and would do anything to capture him. Securing her loyalty was imperative.
"That's great, Sugah," she replied sounding as convincing as she was capable of.
If Remy noticed, he didn't say anything. He just hurried them to finish breakfast and get going.
She rode in silence for an hour, listening to Bishop and Remy recall their old adventures.
Every step she took made her feel worse. Not only was she risking Remy's life, but the life of an innocent man who was just being a good friend.
Reaching the crossroads they stopped to feed and refresh the horses.
"We should go left," she commented in a last-ditch attempt to save the situation.
"Why? The road to the right gets us closer to Sabine." Remy was suspicious. She'd known it since they'd set out. He'd barely spoken to her. He hadn't even smiled.
"The right road takes us to Mystique and Creed," Rogue replied in frustration. She didn't even know why she was so angry.
" When did you know? How do I know you're not lying again?" Remy asked. He was indeed angry. He tossed the cigarette he was rolling on the ground and stared at her, biting his bottom lip.
"You don't know" she mumbled turning her face away and crossing her arms.
"Are you kidding me?" he said stepping closer to her, though he was trying to control his tone of voice he wasn't succeeding. She didn't even bother to answer him, nothing she could say was going to change his mind. Remy laughed cynically. "Fool me once and it's your fault, fool me twice and...
"I'm saying it now..." she replied, even she herself didn't believe in her innocence, why should he believe it. Remy laughed again, he grabbed her arm, forcing her to look him in the eye. He was furious, the way his eyes glittered was frightening. And heartbreaking. But she was unable to look away.
"You're a fucking..." he whispered smiling bitterly.
"LeBeau," Lucas interrupted him grabbing Remy by the shoulder. Remy gave him a puzzled look and released her. " Don't say something you'll regret."
" You know what, you can go back to your mother and Creed. I have made a fool of myself long enough. I'll find a way to hunt those bounties and if you're with them..."
"What?" she replied trying to sound defiant, but all that came from her lips was a sob.
"Nothing, chère, nothing," he replied, turning his back on her. "Come on, Lucas, we're wasting our time."
Bishop looked at her and before going to his horse he placed a hand on her shoulder and gave her an apologetic smile.
Rogue wanted him to look back. Just once. But it didn't happen. She watched them ride away down the left road and when she lost sight of them, she headed for her horse.
Unable to mount, Rogue hugged the animal's neck unable to hold back tears. She couldn't get to Mystique and Creed like that. It would only make things worse. At least Remy would be safe.
She sat on the ground, hugging her knees, helpless from crying. Trying to stay calm, and being angry was easier than facing the truth. This was all her fault, for her lies, for her betrayals, and for being incapable of being honest with Remy or herself.
The sound of hooves on the ground, coming closer, calmed his anxiety. Someone got off a horse and walked over. Rogue didn't need to raise her head to know it was him. She heard him sit down across from her letting out a long sigh. But Remy didn't say a word for a long time.
"I'm going to ask you some questions and I want you to answer me honestly," she heard him say at last.
Rogue didn't raise her head, his voice was steady and he seemed calm, but there was something in his voice that she couldn't identify. Remy was angry and he had every reason to be.
"Did you have this whole thing planned with Creed from the beginning?" asked Remy, his tone didn't show any emotion and that made her feel really bad. Rogue shook her head without moving from her position.
"Have you been trying to seduce me to catch me off guard?" he asked again, there was some humor in his voice. As if all of this was nothing more than a bad joke.
"No..." she whispered, he had never trusted her. She knew she couldn't complain, but it hurt.
Remy was silent, sighed and she heard him move.
"Why did you kiss me?" he asked again this time his voice was sad. Rogue looked up. Remy was very close, kneeling on the floor in front of her.
"I was trying to poison you," Rogue replied looking into his eyes.
"Oh...that's...that's...a reason," he replied with an incredulous smile. Looking disappointed, he let out a nervous laugh and looked away. "I mean... You could have poisoned my coffee or my food..." he muttered plucking the herbs beside him. Remy sounded so hurt. Even trying to mask it with a smile and a silly comment. " It would have been easier."
Rogue couldn't take it anymore, she had never wanted to hurt him, she had never met anyone like him. So sweet and kind to her, to everyone. She got up and wrapped her arms around him, couldn't bear to see him like this. He didn't deserve it
"I don't understand you," he whispered wearily resting his head on her chest.
"I don't understand me either, I'm sorry, I love you, I don't know how to do it. I know I can't be trusted. But I didn't want to hurt you," Rogue squeezed him tightly and the words seemed to escape her lips uncontrollably. "I don't know how to protect you from Creed, or my mother, I just want to keep you safe, but I'm doing everything wrong," she babbled in a jittery stammer, Rogue tightened her grip again, filling her lungs with breath and with a broken voice, she kissed the top of his head. She knew what she had to do, even if she didn't want to. "Remy, the best thing is that you return home, I promise I'll get the money from the ranch to you. I swear, I don't know how, but I'm going to do it, I can send Rabbit with the money and ... "
Remy pulled away from her, grabbed her shoulders, and looked at her with a serious expression.
"Wait, you want to send a girl who weighs 100 pounds and probably can't shoot with the money stolen from two psychos? " he asked, there was a mocking tone in his voice that completely threw her off.
"I... huh..." She felt stupid and didn't know what to say, she didn't expect him to laugh at her. And she felt like her heart was crumbling. "I'll come up with something less stupid... I promise," she murmured feeling her cheeks heat up. She looked away embarrassed, but Remy caught her face and smiled tenderly.
Remy caressed her cheek and brushed her hair away from her face. He smiled again, and slightly denying, rested his lips on hers. But she was so unsettled that she could only stare at him. "I..." she tried to say but Remy closed his eyes and repeated the gesture again, lengthening the contact a couple of seconds longer. She closed her eyes and let herself be pulled into a third kiss as soft as the previous ones.
"I..." murmured Rogue as Remy pulled away from her. "Remy.." he kissed her again, one hand holding her face and the other stroking her hair. Remy had sun-cut lips, but they were still soft, though there was something anxious about that kiss. It was breathtaking. She could kiss him for the rest of her life." I'm sorry, chère," he whispered resting his head on her forehead. "You kept rambling on about how to get rid of me and you weren't listening.
"Remy..." she whispered still with her eyes closed.
"Oui?" he still had his hands on her face, still smiling. Rogue realized how much she wanted to kiss him. How much she needed it, so she did. Like nothing else mattered. As if she could melt with him. He answered the kiss by running a hand down her back, holding her close to him. Rogue stopped to catch her breath and lost herself in his smile. She didn't know what to say, anything could ruin everything. She wrapped her arms around him and he instantly reciprocated. "It's okay, chère, I know it's hard." Rogue sobbed, didn't want to part from him afraid the spell would be broken. It was so easy to be like this. It always had been and she had never wanted to see it. Remy hugged her tightly and burst out laughing. "You're complicated as hell huh? Nothing is easy with you. I should have seen it. You, Little source of trouble. I guess I'm old for this. But something inside me told me that I couldn't be so wrong. It's just that you are a mess. And I'm no better. "
" Who rambles now?" she replied letting out a relieved sigh. She pulled away from him and sat back down on the floor, he did the same and they stared at each other in silence. Until Remy stood up and held out his hand to her.
" Come on, chère, Lucas already thinks I'm out of my mind, let's not keep him waiting any longer." She grabbed his hand and Remy smiled pulling her to her feet.
"I can't, Sugah," she whispered caressing his hand. "You can't figure out how dangerous it is, if I don't show up Mystique will get mad and... I have to go back, I have to fix this..."
"You don't have to fix anything," Remy whispered, he wrapped his arms around her. Remy was unable to see it. She was fighting against everything her mother believed. Everything she had taught her. She could easily kill him just to teach her a lesson.
"Please," she pleaded, resting her hands on his chest. "I know I ask too much, but trust me."
"Tell me what I can do," he replied grabbing her face with a serious gesture. "I will follow your plan, no matter how crazy I think it is."