School and Year: Ilvermorny Year 1

Theme: Write about something with a hidden meaning

Buzz word: secret crush

Mandatory Prompt: [dialogue] "This is why you don't have any friends."

Additional Prompt(s): [object] Family Ring

WordCount: 2234

Author's Note: AU tag/explanation. Draco and Harry are both struggling to come to terms with the events of the past and find that a secret crush could give them both the comfort they need.

Night-time Wanderings

It wasn't Pig's hoots that woke Harry, nor was it the sound of Ron snuffling in his sleep. It was the nightmares, the flashbacks, and the unrelenting memories that wouldn't let him rest.

The graveyard, the battles, the running, and the constant fear all kept him on edge, making sleep almost impossible.

Wandering the corridors in his cloak had become a crux, something that talking to his friends couldn't give him. He tried to speak to them, but they didn't get it. They couldn't help him, so he walked the corridors each night until he was exhausted enough to catch an hour or two.

His wanderings had taken him, somewhat unconsciously, to the Room of Requirement. He stood outside, unable to walk away. He wondered if the room was still working. Perhaps if he could find a way to open it, he might be able to find some comfort inside.

Merlin, he felt alone. Not even during second year, when everyone thought he was killing off all the muggle-borns, had Hogwarts felt less like his home.

It wasn't one thing. It was the way the new professors praised and fawned over him. The adults around him either expected too much or patronised him when he tried to contribute his experience. It was maddening.

He didn't realise how long he'd spent staring at the spot where the door used to appear. Lost in thought, a quiet sigh caused him to jump. He turned around, and his breath caught in his throat as pale blonde hair came into view.

Draco looked as tired as Harry felt.

He slipped the cloak down to reveal his face and tapped Draco lightly on the arm, capturing his undivided attention.

"What do you want, Potter?"

Harry's insides flipped at the hoarseness of his voice, and for once, he didn't want to fight. He wanted to…just…be.

"Are you okay?" asked Harry, his voice so low it was almost a whisper.

"Why do you care? It's not like you ever have before?" Draco's words were heavy and bitter, and Harry felt them right down to his core.

"That's not fair. We were on different sides of a war; we never chose…"

"And you were the chosen one. You're the one everyone wants to be friends with, but me… I've lost everything. My friends hate me because I didn't fight in the last battle. My parents are… well, my dad's back in Azkaban awaiting trial, my mum's a mess after losing everything, and I'm left alone, back in this place where nothing feels the same anymore."

Harry opened his mouth to speak, but Draco cut him off, his sharp tongue like a whip against Harry's insides.

"I mean, even my stupid crush on you…"

Draco's eyes widened, and he met Harry's shock-filled gaze as his words hung between them in the silence.

"Crush. What crush?" Harry choked out, feeling Draco stiffen where their arms are still connected.

"Doesn't matter now, does it?" Their eyes met, and Harry saw Draco's cheeks heat in a blush.

"Draco, what crush?" His words were soft, barely a whisper. It mattered to Harry. He didn't know why, but of course, it did.

"Why do you think I hated you so much, Potter? I didn't care about the stupid houses or the pureblood nonsense. It was because I wanted you. I wanted you from the day we met in Madam Malkins, but I didn't know how to talk to you, so I played up the whole good pureblood boy angle."

Harry couldn't help the way his eyes widened, but, oddly, Draco crushing on him didn't make him want to run screaming into the Forbidden Forest.

"I didn't know that. Why did you never talk to me about it?"

Draco threw his hands up and stepped right into Harry's space, closing the gap between them.

"When was I supposed to do that? When we were fighting all the time between classes or when the Dark Lord was hanging out at my house?

Harry could barely breathe as he watched Draco's eyes dart all around the corridor, anywhere by at Harry, cracking his knuckles. Harry could smell the lingering tang of peppermint imps in the air between them.

"You could have told me instead of fighting in class."

He smirked at Draco, who rolled his eyes.

"Sassy as ever, Potter."

Harry was surprised at how much this whole thing wasn't surprising him. His gaze dropped to Draco's thin lips, wondering what it would be like to taste them. Harry stared for a moment and wished he was brave enough to close the gap between them.

"I couldn't, and now I can't… I can't do this with you, Harry…"

"Shouldn't that be something I get to decide too?"

His eyes lifted, and Draco's stormy grey eyes scorched into Harry's soul. Before Harry could formulate a response, Draco spoke, causing him to let go of Draco's arm and step back.

"No. You don't get it. What could you possibly want from me? I've got nothing, Harry. Nothing. So please, please just leave me alone, and make sure this stays between us."

Harry watched him walk away. "What if you had told me? How different would our lives be if you hadn't kept this hidden?" Draco, however, was already out of earshot.

It was unsettling that he could relate more to Malfoy than his closest friends or the girl he once wanted everything with.

He slowly covered himself back up with the cloak and went back the way he came, feeling that he might be able to sleep. After all, now he knew there was someone as messed up as he was.

A few nights later, Harry shivered as his most recent nightmare faded away. He felt the sweat covering his body cool as his mind turned to the other night. He couldn't get Draco's confession out of his head, and he couldn't figure out why. True, it distracted him from his misery, but that wasn't all there was to it. There was something about the way Draco had seemed so lost and hopeless that wouldn't let him be.

He shifted around in his blankets and tried to ignore the regret clawing at him. Why didn't he kiss Draco? Sure, it would have been a terrible idea, and likely the Slytherin would have hexed him for it, but the thought appealed to him the more he thought about it.

Finally, his breathing and heart rate had calmed, but sleep had never been further away. Resigned, he heaved himself out of bed and grabbed his cloak. The lid of his trunk clattered, waking Ron up in the process.

"Harry, you alright, mate?" Ron asked, his voice low.

"Yeah, can't sleep. Don't worry."

He felt terrible lying to Ron, but he didn't want to discuss how he felt—not yet, maybe not ever. Luckily, Ron took his word for it, and before Harry had even reached the door, Ron was snoring once again.

Harry walked, trying to shut out the last echoes of his nightmare. Everything was supposed to be better now Voldemort was gone, but it wasn't. After all, he'd carried Voldemort around in his head all his life. Perhaps he was tainted.

His feet carried him back to the seventh floor, and he couldn't help but think that something was wrong with him.

He kept on, lost deep inside his mind. Suddenly, someone thumped into him, causing the cloak to fall off and knocking them both to the floor, almost driving the wind from his lungs. There was the sound of metal hitting stone, and Harry saw a glint of gold rolling along the floor.

He looked up, surprised to find Draco scurrying after the ring, sliding it onto his finger after a moment's scuffle.

"Potter?"

He shook his head in response, getting to his feet and clutching his cloak.

"Are you okay, Ha- er, Potter?"

There was something in how tentative Draco tried to say his name, so Harry pulled Draco to his feet.

"What was that?" asked Harry, nodding at Draco's hand.

"It's my signet ring. You get them when you're of age in pureblood families."

"Oh, I didn't know they were a thing."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Draco shrugged, showing he wouldn't allow Harry to avoid the issue at hand. It was something people asked him all the time, but with Draco, he knew it wasn't an empty offer. He would get it.

Harry shook his head, but Draco ignored him, stepping closer.

"Come on. I won't say a word."

They faced each other for what seemed like years as Harry debated whether to take Draco up on his offer, but before he could formulate a response, Draco continued.

"I'd want to talk to someone other than your perfect friends if I were you too…"

Harry's eyes narrowed, and his fists clenched as he stepped away from Draco.

"This is why you don't have any friends. You're such a pillock! "

Draco stepped closer once again, anguish flashing in his eyes.

"I didn't mean it like that. I mean… they're coping. I don't see either of them or your girlfriend…"

Draco's words trailed off, his lips contorting around 'girlfriend' like it was the most obscene curse word.

"Jealous, Malfoy?"

Harry felt his body thrum, but he had only felt this way once before, with Ginny. He stepped closer to Draco, leaving a slither of air between their bodies. He could feel the heat emanating from Draco, and he wished the Room would open up and give them a place to be alone. He wants…something more than he ever wanted with Ginny.

Draco shook his head, then nodded and then shrugged, and stared hard at the space directly behind Harry.

The Room of Requirement had given them a door.

Finally.

Almost instinctively, Harry opened the door, grabbed Draco's hand and pulled him inside.

The room was comfortable. There was a roaring fire and some mismatched comfortable furniture; the room was the comfort Harry had been looking for. Before he could take in the situation, strange as it was, elegant hands cupped his face, forcing eye contact.

"What's wrong, Potter. Maybe I can help."

He wanted to moan at the forbidden sensation. Instead, he leaned in, pressing his lips to Draco's.

The kiss was sweet, and Harry knew that this was what he had been missing. He'd decided to deepen the kiss when Draco's lips vanished. He opened his eyes and watched as Draco began to pace back and forth, his chest heaving and his cheeks flushed pink.

"What are we doing?" he asked. "Why did you kiss me, Potter?"

Harry sucked in a lungful of air and tried to think about what had happened. His eyes followed Draco as he moved backwards and forwards, clearly trying to reign in his frustration.

"If you think you can bat your eyes, and I'll bend over like some…some floozy, you're sorely mistaken.

Harry stared at him in shock, and then a laugh, deep and rumbling, burst forth from his mouth.

"Floozy? Who even speaks like that anymore?" Harry's cheeks were aching as he forced muscles he'd neglected to work, and he doubled over, leaning on his knees for support.

Draco, obviously finding his display amusing, smiled for the first time in months.

Harry finally felt like he could breathe a little easier.

"I don't think you're a floozy," Harry said, once he'd calmed down a bit. "You make me feel better, different, and not as broken inside. I might just need someone who's as messed as me?"

Draco softened a little, waiting for Harry to continue.

"I need someone who understands that just because he's gone, everything isn't magically okay." Draco crossed the room and wrapped Harry in a hug, puffing a gentle whisper into his ear.

"Yeah. I feel that way too. Everyone is happy and relieved, and I feel like I'm waiting for the catch." Harry sighed in relief and wrapped his hands around Draco's waist, holding him and pressing a soft kiss to the arch of Draco's cheekbone.

"Thank you for understanding. No one else does. Maybe they don't want to."

They stood like that for a while, long enough that Harry felt that perhaps, he might be able to sleep soon after all. He sighed as Draco stepped away from him and opened the door to the seventh-floor corridor.

"You'll be okay now?" asks Draco.

"I think so." They locked eyes for a moment, sharing the intimacy of the situation, and Harry made a snap decision. "Tomorrow? Same time, same place?"

Draco smiled softly. "I'd like that. We can talk more about…stuff, then."

Draco paused and looked intently at his hand, rubbing a finger along the surface of the gold band before slipping his signet ring from his finger. He held it out in front of him for a heartbeat and then, almost reverently, slid it onto Harry's finger.

"Would you wear my ring?"

Harry nodded slowly, and Draco pressed one last kiss to his lips and left.

Harry grinned for a second at his retreating figure before slipping away down the corridor and back to his dorm. Draco's secret crush was something tangible he could hold onto and something that could be his to carry him through the darkness of his life. With his lips still tingling, Harry felt sure there wouldn't be any more nightmares tonight.