They were on the blazing field of battle, enemies left and right, screams in all directions. Byleth only had one goal; reach Edelgard, and kill her. She blew through the Eagles who she once knew and respected, slicing Petra in two, blasting Dorothea away with magic, utterly slaying Hubert who cried genuine tears of pain and anguish for Edelgard's fate. She had no allies either, it was just her, just the Ashen Demon who brought this pain to all of those she cares about.
The field she was in that looked only a little like Gronder shifted into the Imperial palace. She walked into the palace, the bodies already dead, their blood nearly causing her to trip as she goes through the main hallway and through the doors to the throne room. Edelgard sat atop the throne, looking fondly at Aymr that pulsated in her hand. When the door clicked shut, and the resounding thud reached the emperor's ears, the younger woman stood up, her chin high and her eyes as cold as steel.
Then the dream cuts to black. This is usually where it ends.
When it returns, Edelgard is laid out on her back on top of the long steps to the throne. Her head is tipped all the way back, bouncing against the step as Byleth looms over her, her calloused fingers pushing the emperor's skirt up haphazardly and then pulling her tights and underwear down. Their weapons are cast aside, Aymr sliding all the way down the steps when Byleth accidentally kicks it away trying to get on Edelgard's side. The emperor watches her lifeline go, a terrifying heat to her gaze before Byleth forces her fingers inside her. Edelgard yelps in pain at the sudden action, but Byleth doesn't stop. She pounds into Edelgard as hard as she can, the look on her face showing that she's actively trying to hurt the younger woman. But Edelgard takes it, both her hands fisting in Byleth's cloak that hangs over the both of them.
The sounds of their coupling is loud, brutal, almost unpleasant, but it's about to be more so, because as Edelgard falls further and further into her pleasure and pain, Byleth discreetly grabs the dagger on her hip and unsheathes it. Just to be cruel, the teacher shoves her knee into the back of her hand, purposefully scratching the inside of Edelgard who groans in pain and digs her fingers into Byleth, who feels nothing of it. Suddenly Byleth slams the knife straight through Edelgard's neck.
The look on Edelgard's face is surreal, her eyes bleeding first, then her nose, her mouth, and her neck as she chokes on blood that gets coughed up on Byleth's face. Edelgard's expression is hunting, one that says,
I trusted you.
—
"AHH!" Byleth jerks out of her slumber, her throat already raw as she pants like a dying dog with eyes that match. "G-Gah!" She flies out of the unfamiliar bed, throwing herself over the edge and landing on the floor clutching her chest.
"Professor?!" Edelgard calls, voice strained as she stares at her over the bed. Byleth looks at her from upside down, staring into her eyes that appear red and worried. She must have only woken up because Byleth did. Yet, this time, the sight of Edelgard is not comforting, and Byleth forces herself to get up, trying to suck in slower breaths, before sitting in Edelgard's desk chair and dropping her head on the table. "Was it a bad dream?" At the mention of it, Byleth cringes, grabbing at her heart and then her throat.
"Yeah," the teacher answers raspily. "Terrible dream." Footsteps approach, but before they can reach her, Byleth leaps out of the seat and stares down at Edelgard, heaving again. "You know I would never hurt you, right? Never! I-I–" Tears flood her eyes as the emperor looks up at her, no fear or anything except sympathy in them.
She trusts me, Byleth thinks, covering her eyes as more tears flood her vision. What if I lose that? What if I do something one day to ruin the way she looks at me?
"I'm sorry," Byleth cries, her breath hitching as she nearly sobs.
"You did nothing," Edelgard gently reminds her. Byleth crying makes her want to cry, and her own lashes line with unshed tears as she grabs onto the teacher's trembling shoulders. "Your dreams are not real, and all you have ever done for me is support me and help me every step of the way." Byleth nods, not trusting her voice because she wants to cry harder and just explain how she could have messed up, how she could have killed Edelgard herself or let her die or– "Look at me."
"N-no." Edelgard sighs and forcibly takes Byleth's wrists, pulling them down just for Byleth to squeeze her eyes shut and turn her head away.
"Byleth," Edelgard beckons, almost angry before taking her entire face and turning it towards herself. Byleth still won't open her eyes, but Edelgard doesn't care as she kisses at the tear marks left behind before pressing a bruising kiss against the older woman's lips. It calms down Byleth's breathing. "Tell me what happened. When I hold it in, it just festers, it gets worse. I do not want that to be the case for you."
"I don't…"
"Trust me. Please." Byleth finally opens her sore eyes, the apathy sudden and almost shocking to Edelgard before she sets her own mask of indifference on. She knows how this works, how it feels to have trauma the human face just can't express.
"Ever since I came back from sleeping all that time," Byleth starts, monotone and cool. "I dreamed that at the end of the war, I would kill you." The emperor's mask fails to slip. "I still have it at least once a week, but… it was different tonight." Byleth stares at the bed, just over Edelgard's shoulder. "The last few days, sleeping in your bed, I only dreamed of good things. Something that never happens."
"The same for me." Byleth smiles just faintly, but it doesn't reach her eyes.
"But tonight I… I killed you but I also… hurt you." Edelgard looks at her, the question in her eyes clear. "I held you down, I touched you, and I killed you." The emperor lets go of Byleth's face, letting them drop to her own sides.
"Some dreams are more cruel than others," Edelgard says simply.
"I used power over you, it–it was disgusting."
"And it was a dream," Edelgard insists, grabbing Byleth's arm and squeezing it to remind her that she's here. "Say it."
"It was a dream," Byleth repeated in a mumble. The two of them stand still as the sobering words soak into the floors and settle frustratingly. "I wouldn't ever do that to you."
"You would not," Edelgard agrees, her hand rubbing the teacher's chest. "I know how you really are," she says as softly as she can, getting on her tippy toes to whisper into Byleth's ear that, "You will only ever be gentle with me." The feeling of her breath, her voice, the intimate words, the feeling of her hand and the pressing of her breasts against Byleth's startle the teacher out of her depressing mood. Byleth's eyes are big and completely dry as Edelgard pulls away. There's a somewhat sensual look in her eye as she smiles timidly. Now Byleth's breathing is thrown off for a different reason.
"...Sorry I woke you up," Byleth murmurs. Edelgard smiles a little warmer and takes the other woman's hand.
"Wake me up again if such a thing happens any time. Now come. The sun has yet to rise." Byleth slides in first, opening her arms when Edelgard tries to snuggle against her. For the past three days, they've slept comfortably back to front. The teacher holds Edelgard especially tight this time, tucking her face into her back.
"Do you really sleep better with me here, too?"
"I sleep in general, only with you," Edelgard answers, yawning afterwards.
She tries to stay quiet afterwards, for Edelgard's sake, but her thoughts are running rampant about things she hasn't thought about in years. She recalls the first time she killed a child, a seven year old girl, who's father threw her out to scare the mercenaries. Byleth was always quick with her sword… but sometimes that wasn't a good thing. Jeralt never looked at her without sympathy before missions after that. There was also the time she nearly saw a woman being attacked by two men. She didn't think then either, stabbing them right on top of her. She could have killed the woman she was trying to save, but she didn't, and the way that woman shook in her arms… she shivers now.
Edelgard turns to face Byleth who's brow is crinkled up.
"I think you have much more of a conscience now." Byleth purses her lips. "If I am being honest, I lost mine when I was very young." Edelgard sighs through her nose, and the teacher feels it on her lips, seeks it out by tipping her head forward. So Edelgard moves closer, close enough that their lips touch as they speak. "Do you want to know something?"
"Yes."
"You gave it back to me."
"How?" Byleth asks, her face growing once again composed.
"So many ways."
"Well don't thank me," Byleth huffs, tucking her face into the pillow. "Everything just hurts more cuz of it."
"But that is what makes us human," Edelgard explains, sounding a lot more passionate than she should when she's as tired as she is. "You taught me to care. You taught me to be genuine. You taught me so many of those things. Let me teach you how to grieve." Byleth sucks in a breath. "Will you let me?"
"Yeah, El." Byleth nods confidently. "I trust you."
—
Neither of them fell back asleep, too busy chatting whilst Edelgard tried her hardest to distract the teacher from her awful thoughts. They laughed through half of it, something neither of them are exactly known to do.
"You have quite a bit of wit to you," Edelgard comments offhand, putting her dress on. Byleth smiles crookedly, her back to Edelgard as she adjusts her cloak.
"Same to you. I like it."
"Mm. I try to tone it back when Hubert is around. More than Hubert actually, I try to act as imposing as possible whilst in the company of others. Being funny often comes off as sarcastic, something that cannot be when speaking with– Ah, I'm over explaining, sorry Byleth." The emperor clears her throat, going to sit at her desk where her small mirror is to do her hair. She covers it with a cloth of black silk, something Byleth wrinkles her lip at.
"You can talk about anything, El. I like just listening to you." Byleth watches as Edelgard fixes her hair, leaning her hip against the end of the bed. "Did you cover that because…?" The emperor sniffs, her eyes downcast as she finishes one bun.
"There's a reason I do not fuss with makeup and the like. I strongly dislike just looking at myself, let alone–" Edelgard sighs, blinking as she begins wrapping the next horn with hair. "It's not about being self-conscious… exactly… it is more about dealing with other things. It–I–The reminder of the past is what really bothers me. I feel like I can never repay my siblings and I sometimes question myself, question what it took to get here." Edelgard turns to Byleth and sadly smiles. "I told you I have guilt just as you do." Byleth drops her head and nods. "Unfortunately I cannot be with you, idling away, much longer. I must get to work now."
"Can I stop by around lunch?"
"Of course," Edelgard agrees. And so Byleth leans down from behind Edelgard's chair and kisses her cheek, watching the emperor's lashes flutter in the mirror as she pulls away. With a final wave, Byleth excuses herself.
—
Byleth actually has things to do today as well, and so after leaving Edelgard, she immediately heads over to the training grounds where two dozen imperial soldiers sit and wait for her. The moment she walks in, the crowd is silent. She says hello, and they all rigidly greet her back. A few of them seem to tremble when she looks at them, something that bothers her somewhere deep. To be feared is not something she needs anymore.
"I try to act as imposing as possible whilst in the company of others."
Byleth thinks of this as she picks up a practice sword and shield, her back facing the crowd who have begun to chat among themselves quietly again. Having the respect of others is a very different thing, something she knows her father was known to have anywhere he went. She knows her students respect her, that most of the imperial soldiers respect her, but to be feared because of it–she shivers– I want to be respected and liked.
Dad would never agree.
Byleth turns the sword over in her hand, looking at her fingers that are pinked, that show signs of life. She grins slightly, squeezing the hilt as she raises it up and shines the reflection of the sun across a few of the soldier's armor. The ones touched by the heat step back in surprise.
"I am sure you all came here expecting me to teach you how to fight properly right off the bat." The people nod and glance at each other anxiously. "Well today, the sun is like lava. Don't let it touch you." A girl blinks and timidly raises her hand. "Yes?"
"Um. Professor, we are all directly in the sun? There is… no roof." Byleth smiles and points her sword at the round benches that are in rows, surrounding the entire training ground.
You–We are going to be fighting on the–?!"
"Mhm," Byleth says, beckoning a select few soldiers to go up first. "You never know what terrain will be like. Come now, I'll make sure you all fight just as good as my other students by the end of this week."
Even though some of the students seemed nervous, and some of them outright stumbled over themselves for the first hour, Byleth refused to give up on them or tell them they're wrong. Her gentle correcting is what made them more confident, and after that first hour of fumbling passed, she watched as the soldiers battled each other with renewed fervor, some of them even fighting on multiple levels to get the upper hand.
"Professor! Please spar with me!"
Few who said that lasted longer than forty seconds but she still pat them on the back. Closer to the three hour mark, she has them taking a break, drinking their water and snacking on little things. Usually with students, she tries to drone out whatever topics they're on about, but this time, she can't help but overhear.
"It's been a year since Dad passed," one of the girls says to her friend. The friend has his lance over his lap, entirely distracted and uninterested as this girl tries to go on. "Dad never listened to me when I said I wanted to fight for the empire. He said I was a fool."
"I mean, why?" he asks, slurping down his water.
"Why what?" the girl asks with an annoyed air about her.
"Why would he care that you were gonna fight for the empire? It's not like we were a part of the great war anyway."
"He was worried about me."
"No he was not," the boy laughs, "You said he was always a dick to you, hounding you about everything. That guy left you for four years and never came back. What kind of dad does that?" Both the girl and Byleth retract at such a bold statement.
"...Sometimes when you grow up," she starts slowly, staring down at her lap, "You realize that your parents aren't the shining knights you thought they were." Byleth drops her head, looking at the scar on her left palm that she got when she was a child.
Her dad had let her roam the bar he was in with the other mercenaries when she went upstairs and stumbled upon a scene she did not understand, and she was swiftly pushed down the stairs by a drunken man. She landed on her hand, tearing open the skin when she reached the fourth step from the bottom. Jeralt had shouted when she came up to him with just a frown on her face.
"Don't you ever watch yourself, Byleth?!" He yelled, stumbling out of his stool while the other mercenaries laughed at him and glanced at Byleth unsympathetically. "What? Am I supposed to protect you every second? I can't do that, kid, no one can." Byleth had frowned harder, not feeling the need to explain the man who had hit her. "Go wash your hands and come back here. You can sit at my feet for the rest of the night."
That was just one of the many instances where Jeralt had proven to be a very different "knightly good man" than what the people knew him as in every town they went to. It was a side Byleth realized she resented.
Clearing her throat loudly, Byleth turns to the crowd again.
"Alright, everyone! We will go again in an hour. Please rest longer. Good work so far."
"Thank you," a few of them shout. Byleth nods and hurries outside.
—
The only place Byleth wants to relax is by Edelgard's side. It is near her break time, so Byleth heads up with some tea and cookies.
"Hey," Byleth says as she opens the office door with her foot. Edelgard looks up from her pile of paperwork, the annoyed scowl immediately melting into a calm smile. "Tea?"
"I would love some." Byleth sets the tray on their little table and reaches for the kettle. Her hand is stopped however. "Allow me to serve you this time."
"I wanted to pour it as a thank you," Byleth argues, feeling as though her routine has been entirely thrown off. She feels wrong just sitting down. Edelgard chuckles and forcibly pushes the teacher into her seat, handing her a cup of tea right afterwards.
"I do not need thanks, my teacher. Besides, I have about a million things I need to thank you for instead." Byleth doesn't really agree or see why, but she moves on, sipping at her cup. They stay quiet for a few, and it gives the teacher a chance to get a foul taste on her tongue, realizing how much space is between them when they sit across from each other like this. So Byleth gets up, biting the back of her lip as she goes next to Edelgard and gestures for her to get up.
"Sit on my lap." Edelgard blinks, setting her cup down.
"Do what?'
"Get up," Byleth chuckles, already wrapping her arms around Edelgard's waist and trapping one arm as she pulls her out of the seat before dropping down in the emperor's place. Edelgard groans in discomfort as she's sat atop of Byleth's thighs. "This is so much better." Byleth hugs Edelgard from behind, the heat of her entire body and her dress warming Byleth much further than skin alone.
"...This is certainly something," Edelgard flusteredly comments back, trying to awkwardly keep her weight off of Byleth before the teacher pulls her up higher so her feet are hovering off the ground by a half-inch. She hates being short.
"Stop being all girly about this," Byleth scolds. "I can hold your weight no matter what. Relax for me." Edelgard says something under her breath before giving in, sighing when the professor kisses the back of her neck. "There we go."
"If Hubert comes in here this is ending," Edelgard states.
"Sure, El. Whatever you say." Byleth doesn't mention that from the window behind them, Ferdinand is already looking in and waving very animatedly. Then Edelgard sniffs and reaches for her tea, stopping midway.
"I cannot reach anything if you're holding me this tightly."
"Oh. Right." Byleth moves her hands down to Edelgard's waist instead, and the emperor moves forward, bringing her cup into her lap. The two of them look at the heat as it rises upward and causes Edelgard's eyes to grow cloudy. She whispers the word hot to herself and dips her forefinger into the tea, checking the temperature. "Heh. The way you did that reminded me of Dad."
"Really?"
"Yeah he always did that when he–" Byleth cuts herself off. Something begins to boil in her stomach, and soon it moves up to the center of her chest. Since he died, when her thoughts drift to him, she has only ever felt sad, like he was taken away at the wrong time; but today… She feels angry. Edelgard's shoulders become more upright as she turns and presses her lips to Byleth's cheek just because. "I've been thinking about him more lately. Today especially." Edelgard nods.
"That happens sometimes," the emperor reasons, staring into her drink. "One thing reminds you of someone and somehow you cannot escape the memories."
"Yeah." Byleth breathes loudly out of her nose and drops her chin against the emperor's shoulder with a mopey frown. "I should go visit his grave. Eh. I dunno if I want to though."
"How come?" Edelgard asks, not a hint of judgment in her voice.
"It's complicated." The emperor nods again, as if those few words locked everything in place and made perfect sense.
"I could go with you, if that would help any."
"Really?" Byleth asks, hugging Edelgard gently. "You'd do that?"
"Of course I would," Edelgard says, sort of confused as to why Byleth seems so surprised. "Has no one else gone with you?"
"Rhea once. She was kind about it, I just didn't feel anything then."
"What do you feel now?" Edelgard asks, looking forward as she leans deeper in Byleth's hold. The teacher's mind churns as she thinks of sentences and ways to explain herself. It makes her feel exhausted, defeated even, until she remembers this is Edelgard, and that she doesn't need to explain. They simply talk.
"He… failed me in a bunch of ways." Her tongue burns once she says it, as though it should never have been. For a moment, she fears the emperor will scold her or try to remind her that Jeralt must have done things right one time or another. But Edelgard doesn't do that. She places her gloved hand atop of Byleth's and threads their finger's together, anchoring the teacher down while her emotions are flying. For Edelgard to even know she needed that, Byleth feels an intense place of belonging, feels that Edelgard truly gets her.
"So he did. You can never ask him why he did what he did, but you can torture yourself about why you think it was the way it was." Edelgard tips her head, looking at Byleth from one eye. "Or you can confront it. Perhaps that is what you should do tonight." Byleth squeezes her fingers against Edelgard's in acknowledgement. "It may take some bravery…" Edelgard teases lightly.
"That's something I have plenty of when you're with me," Byleth says softly, dragging her hand along the younger woman's jaw before kissing her. "You're… amazing." Edelgard's cheeks seem to flush the slightest bit, but she doesn't try to bahfully hide it like usual.
"As are you. Let us deal with the complications of your heart as they come." Byleth finds that to be quite profound, and she nods in agreement. "Around six?"
"Sounds good. I'll meet you there."
"Lovely. Now I must be getting back to it," Edelgard sighs, standing up slowly and touching Byleth's hand for as long as she can until they're too far apart. And when their fingers fall away from each other, Byleth feels like all of the spark in her, all of the energy she had, drains with it. Edelgard smiles in a way that seems similarly tired, and she walks to her desk with a limp in her step before collapsing into her seat.
As Byleth sits in the chair where she feels suddenly freezing and very alone, she pictures the ring from her father.
"Give this to the person who matters the most."
Byleth looks at Edelgard again, feels her heart pound, and thinks,
She is the only one I'll ever want.
—
"Do you think it's normal, simply deciding to marry someone out of the blue?" Manuela asks this of Hanneman who is only half-listening as he helps Byleth lift a table to the opposite corner in the Golden Deer classroom. (He's dropped his edge twice already). They want to modernize each room for when Edelgard leaves and Ferdinand watches over the school, making sure all people who want an education can get one outside of knowledge on battling. Byleth won't be teaching here, but Manuela, Hanneman, and excitingly, Lysithea, will be.
"Why are you thinking about that?" Byleth asks, trying for a poker face as she literally decided she wanted to propose to Edelgard this very night only thirty minutes ago. Hanneman cuts Manuela off as they lift the table once more.
"She met a man last week who has yet to leave her after a few drinks."
"Hey!" Manuela growls, "I love him for reasons besides that. …Though that does help." Byleth smirks.
"Love?"
"Yes, love," Manuela repeats with her hands on her hips pridefully. "Unlike you, I can admit when I love someone." This time it's Byleth who drops the table.
"What does that mean?" Manuela curls her lip, settling on top of the very desk the two other teachers are trying to move. Hanneman howls and irritably adjusts his sleeves.
"Why must you and the others pester them so?! And get off the table, you chattering monkey!" Hanneman barks. Manuela scoffs and leaps off of the spot purely on the basis of being verbally attacked.
"The nerve of you to call a graceful woman like me a monkey! Who are you, old man?!" Byleth blankly stares at them and waits for Hanneman to move out the way before she pushes the table into place herself.
"Manuela, you and the others constantly pressure the Professor and Edelgard into whatever it is you think they must have. Let the two come to their senses on their own!" Byleth wrinkles her brow in confusion.
"Um. What are you talking about?" Byleth asks, just to be talked over once again.
"Some people need a love doctor," Manuela sings, waving her hands around her own smiling face as if to present herself.
"You are no such thing!"
"You wound me," Manuela heaves, dramatically leaning forward with a hand over her heart.
"Guys!" Byleth shouts. "What in the world are you even talking about?" Manuela and Hanneman tone down their residual anger and share a slightly concerned look.
"There comes a time between friends," Manuela says, "that you are… no longer friends. Sometimes love is friendly, and sometimes," Manuela hums, smiling at Byleth cryptically, "Love is much much deeper than that." Hanneman works to bring the chairs over to the desk from against the opposite wall, choosing to ignore everything happening. Byleth scratches the back of her head.
"Sometimes you kiss your friends," Byleth suggests. Hanneman drops the chair loudly and Manuela's eye twitches. "Sometimes you wanna lay in bed with your friends and kiss them too."
"...Professor…"
"If that's friendship," Byleth continues with a playful cadence to her voice, "I want more than that with Edelgard for sure." She walks past the two older teachers who stare at her in a mix of surprise and glee.
"You get her, sister!" Byleth smiles over her shoulder as she steps outside, heading back to the training grounds.
—
They're standing in front of Jeralt's grave hours later. It's raining, so Edelgard is holding the umbrella over their heads. Both of their arms press close before Byleth locks their fingers together. Right now, neither of them really care if anyone sees them doing this either.
Byleth breathes out a shallow, shaky breath, and Edelgard holds her closer.
"Dad," Byleth says out loud, to him, for the first time in six years. "Dad," she says again, her throat going dry as she stares at his death date. "I'm so pissed at you for dying." She lets out a relieved sigh, finally able to admit even that.
"Good," Edelgard encouragingly whispers into Byleth's shoulder.
"I feel like you always left me when things got hard. This… felt no different." Byleth sniffs, looking past the grave before staring down at it again. "But you didn't d-die on purpose. And so I feel stupid, and guilty, and all of these things because I resent you." Edelgard presses herself impossibly closer to Byleth who's trembling slightly. "I was never able to be myself or even learn who I wanted to be, because you kept everything from me. Why?! You may as well have left me with Rhea, because you didn't even teach me the morals you thought I couldn't have learned from her," Byleth spits. Edelgard just listens, goosebumps going down her back. "Of course… there's no accounting for fate."
Byleth's jaw twitches, the presence of Edelgard feeling especially poignant as she strengthens her voice for the next part.
"Fate still gave me Edelgard," Byleth says, sincerity all over her face as Edelgard looks at her. "I… I never felt like I needed you," Byleth admits, shaking her head. "But I feel like I need Edelgard." The emperor lets out a sharp breath, entirely taken aback. "But I'm scared with her sometimes cuz you never taught me how to care about someone who's important like that." Edelgard bites her lip, tucking her face against Byleth's shoulder again. "I want to love her without doubting myself." The emperor's entire body goes cold, and then sweltering hot. "I… I still wanted you to know her, too. Dammit, I told you about her! You didn't even try to be a dad and–and help me realize what I was feeling! You were never like a dad, you–" Byleth groans out and kicks the gravestone, cracking off a huge chunk of the edge.
….
"There's a lot of blame I can deflect onto you, but that's not really fair. So, I'm sorry." The teacher clenches her jaw and fiddles with her mother's ring tucked away into her pocket. The steel almost burns, and the anticipation of wanting to give it to the woman beside her has been bringing waves of anxiety through Byleth for longer than she had realized. She kisses the top of Edelgard's head, resting her chin there. Cornflower blue eyes glance through the rain, and her eyes drift towards the Goddess Tower.
"My parents met here," Edelgard had said as a student. "They fell in love in this very tower."
Byleth's eyes widen and her heart starts hammering in her chest. That's the place.
"El."
"Mm?"
"Can you meet me up there?" Byleth points to the tower, a look of trepidation on her face that Edelgard quickly picks up on. The emperor looks at the Goddess Tower, hesitant, but understanding.
"As you wish. Take the umbrella."
"No, it's ok," Byleth insists, pushing the emperor's hand away softly. "I won't be long." Edelgard nods, taking a step away before turning to look back at Byleth.
"Are you hiding something?"
"Not really," Byleth smiles. The teacher leans in, touching Edelgard's chin before kissing her sweetly. Even if they've done this countless times in the past few days, every time their lips meet, it's as electrifying as the first time. "I'll see you in a few." Edelgard nods, but she doesn't leave before kissing Byleth once more, wanting to go out with a smile on both of their lips. Byleth watches her go, even watches her get into the tower and shut the door. A spike of nerves burns the teacher up before she shakes it off and bends down in front of the tombstone. "You told me a long time ago to give this ring to the person who mattered most to me." Byleth pulls the ring out, laying it flat in her palm as she pretends to show it to Jeralt again.
"I'm giving it to Edelgard." A loopy smile breaks out over her face, and she squeezes the item in her hand. "Hah. I love her. I knew I did, for a long time now." Byleth turns again, looking at the tower.
"Everything you said is fair, kid." Byleth jerks up, standing up pin straight as she sees her dad right in front of her, perched on his own grave. "I just hope you forgive me one day."
"Dad?!"
"Easy," he chuckles, standing up, easily two heads taller than her. "I'm not real. This is just your way of coping." Byleth rubs her eyes, looking again to still see him there. "Do you think you'll forgive me?"
"Yes. But I'll forgive you faster if you help me figure out how the hell to propose to a woman." Jeralt grins crookedly, reaching out to pat his daughter on the head. She doesn't feel it, but it doesn't matter.
"When it came to your mother, all I did was bend down on a knee, popped the ring out, and told her I love her."
"...Very memorable," Byleth mumbles.
"It worked." Byleth sighs, stuffing the ring in her pocket again. "Listen, every woman is different. Is she the romantic type?"
"Secretly, yes."
"Hm. Then take her somewhere that has a good mood. Hug her, kiss her even, remind her that you care." Byleth nods, mentally taking notes. "And she won't need a big long speech, because if she loves you the way I think she does, the idea of sharing her life with you is going to be more than enough."
"What if–what if she says no?"
"Not gonna happen," Jeralt says, throwing a hand in the air. "Who would say no to you, anyhow, kid?" Byleth grins and plays with her bangs.
"Lots of people would say no."
"Well she won't."
"Fine. Ok. Yeah," Byleth huffs, pacing back and forth. "I can do this."
"Of course you can," Jeralt laughs, sitting on his stone again. "You can do anything."
"Dunno about that," Byleth huffs in amusement. They quiet down, Byleth looking at the floor, Jeralt looking only at his daughter. "Dad…"
"Mhm."
"I… I love you." She sniffs back the emotion, her head unable to lift.
"I love you too." Jeralt shuts his eyes, a smile on his face as he looks at the Goddess Tower that he too proposed to his wife in. "Go get that girl, kid." Byleth doesn't say another word, can't even bare to look at him again, before taking off in the direction of her future, not her past. Once her back is turned, Jeralt disappears, but she doesn't forget.
—
Byleth races up the steps, hardly taking a breath until she reaches the top to find Edelgard looking out on the balcony, leaning up against one of the pillars. When the younger woman turns to greet Byleth, she smiles and waves somewhat timidly as starlight comes in, lighting the side of her soft face and crimson clothes.
"You're so beautiful," Byleth breathes, her feet shackled in place. The emperor wrinkles her lip as if she doesn't quite agree, and Byleth pulls herself forward, not saying anything until she's standing beside Edelgard in the light, holding her small chin between her fingers. "I've never said that to anyone. I mean it, El." Edelgard blinks in discomfort but she doesn't pull away. "There's something big I have to ask of you."
"Anything." Byleth gnaws the inside of her lip before letting Edelgard go and dropping to one knee. Recognition widens Edelgard's eyes and she immediately claps a hand to the side of her face.
"You tend to say I've been there for you the most, but I-I think you've actually have–you've been there for me a lot," Byleth flusteredly states, her face burning as she fumbles to pull the ring out of her pocket. When it comes up, held just above Byleth's face, Edelgard's head jerks back before she whines indignantly into her fist. "I love you," Byleth breathes, "Please El, accept this ring."
"I would like nothing more than to marry you." Edelgard drops to her knees with the teacher, taking the ring in her hand and squeezing it as if to check if it's real. "Byleth~! I never thought you could possibly feel the same way. Before the other day, I only thought it was a girlish fantasy to have you. I love you. I have loved you for so long now," she rushes out, holding the ring to her chest.
"Still," Byleth starts sheepishly, "You're the emperor and if we have to keep this hidden–"
"-Absolutely not," Edelgard intones, "We are going to be equals. I refuse to be like the rulers who came before me, treating their wives like accessories and a mere tool to birth the next generation. I care nothing about that foolishness." Edelgard bites her glove off, spitting it into her lap before handing the ring to Byleth and holding out her ring finger. The teacher's jaw clenches as she sets the ring on Edelgard's finger.
"Perfect fit." The younger woman stares at the ring, a sheen of incoming tears lining her lids before she blinks them away. "It seems as though I'll be needing a lot of lessons from Hubert and you when it comes to politicking then." Edelgard just hums in amusement before flinging herself into Byleth's arms, both of them still shuffling on the floor. The teacher pulls Edelgard in by the waist, dragging her up her lap while Edelgard peppers her face with kisses. "How many people can say they brought you to your knees, huh?"
"Only you and my father." Edelgard still kisses her, working a line from her forehead, her cheek, to her jaw. "How many can claim to have done the same to you?"
"...Just you," Byleth hums, tipping her head so Edelgard will kiss her neck. "Oh Rhea too I guess."
"Gross." And as soon as those soft lips press against Byleth's skin, the teacher's eyes flutter closed. It's unreasonable, she thinks, how uncomfortable her smallclothes grow by just the slightest sucking of skin.
"Ah. Um. Maybe tonight we shouldn't share a bed." The emperor makes a noise in question, though she still cups the back of her fiancee's head and kisses the divot between her neck and shoulder. Byleth shudders, digging her hands into Edelgard's waist when the smaller woman bites her softly. "Nnngh. Edelgard, seriously."
"We are only kissing," Edelgard says, thankfully pulling back. Her lilac eyes only focus on Byleth's lips, something that flusters the teacher more so than helps her explain. Byleth groans and turns away, though she still holds Edelgard securely.
"Sure but don't you feel sort of, uh," Byleth waves her hand around, trying to suggest it without saying it outright. Edelgard just looks at her. "I really want to have sex with you," Byleth sighs, hating that she has to say it. The emperor bites down on her lip, and her eyes emit a roaring glow of fire as she presses her face into Byleth's neck again.
"Do you have any idea how badly I want you?" Edelgard whispers. Byleth swallows and lets go of Edelgard all together. "I have desperately waited for tonight, for us to be committed like this. When you are ready, I want to be ready to give myself back to you." Byleth's heart starts hammering in her throat, and she quickly brings herself and Edelgard to their feet. Swiftly, Byleth leans down and claims the younger woman's mouth. Every day so far, their kisses get to this point where they're merely passionate exchanges of lust and love, one pushing the other to the point of breaking. The breaking point is when one moans, their voice rumbling against the other's lip, ending the little game. This time it's Byleth, dropping her forehead against the side of Edelgard's head, able to feel the ridiculous amount of arousal soaking her underwear.
"I wanna wait until the others know about us," Byleth decides.
"Alright," Edelgard agrees, though she seems to struggle to let the mood pass. "How come? If I may ask."
"It's just," Byleth starts as she urges them to walk down the steps, "I don't wanna feel like we have to pretend we aren't what we are. The next morning, or the minutes leading up to it, I wanna let it show on my face how… ah, how honored I am to be able to love you like that."
"Really?" Edelgard asks as she tucks her glove over her hand, careful of her finger. She realizes she's going to need some looser gloves. "You strike me as private, I would not have thought you would think or care about that."
"I care about a ton of things no one expects." Byleth shoves the door open, pleased by the fact that the rain is gone.
"That is respectable," Edelgard comments, spinning so she can pull Byleth towards the dorms while still looking at her. "Allow me to lead you to your room then, my love." She smiles cheekily before turning again, still holding the teacher's hand.
"Your love," Byleth repeats with a giggle. "I could get used to that."
"Wonderful. I have no plans of stopping that little pet name." From over her shoulder, Edelgard shoots the professor another private little smile. This must be the luckiest day of my life.
They end up taking their time getting to Byleth's room, even stopping to pet some of the cats and dogs. The familiar creak of the steps before the teacher's room signals that their time is coming to an end however. Byeth doesn't open her door right away, and so the two of them lean against opposite door frames, their hands together in the middle.
"It's gonna be kind of sad not waking up to you," Byleth quietly says, knowing Petra is only two doors away.
"I do promise to behave if you want to save yourself from such heartache," the emperor teases. Mrrw! Byleth and Edelgard both look down to see the familiar black cat that had spent all night with Byleth the last time she stayed in her own room.
"Hey," Byleth greets. Mrrr. The professor grins at Edelgard as she unlocks the door and pushes it open, allowing the cat to enter. "Sorry. I've got company now." Edelgard wrinkles her lip but doesn't push further.
"I should be off," Edelgard says, letting go of Byleth's hand. "Goodn–mm!" In a flash, Byleth has her lips against Edelgard's again, kissing the life out of her. The emperor nearly has to take a step back at the force, but is held up by the doorframe yet again. Edelgard's mind wants to fight it, knowing she'd be terribly embarrassed if Hubert of all people walked by, but after Byleth's tongue touches hers, she can't bring herself to care. She throws her arms around Byleth's neck, keeping her there as she tries to pull back. Byleth laughs through her nose, but it doesn't keep her from the task at hand, or… mouth, rather.
MRRW!
Edelgard glares at the cat from the corner of her eye while Byleth continues to kiss her, biting on her bottom lip and tugging for her attention. She has really gotten great at kissing, Edelgard thinks, her eyes rolling into her head as she closes them and opens her mouth wider. It's a little surprising how well the professor dominates their kisses, their touches, even the way they hold hands. A thrill of anxious excitement causes a chill to run down Edelgard's back as she imagines that dominance when the time comes for them to be intimate. She moans at the thought.
Of course now, Byleth tries to pull back, a little more forcefully this time, but Edelgard keeps her where she is, one of her legs snaking around the side of Byleth's to keep her from being able to step back.
"El." Edelgard kisses her again, pushing her own tongue into Byleth's warm mouth. Byleth purrs, her jaw slackening enough for Edelgard to want to grab ahold of it, which she does. It feels good having Byleth in her hands, too, and it gives her a smidge of control, being able to turn Byleth how she wants. Just to flex her power, Edelgard quickly turns Byleth's head to the side and goes for her neck, just under her ear. "Shit," Byleth hisses, clenching her eyes shut as the emperor's heel drags teasingly up the back of Byleth's calf. The teacher's eyes snap open and her instinct is to push her leg in, forcing Edelgard's spread legs to open wider. With that, Byleth jerks herself in between them and grabs the back of Edelgard's thigh, pushing the dress up before lifting her slightly off the ground so that Byleth's hip can hold some of Edelgard's weight.
"Hhh!" Edelgard naturally rocks against the teacher's thigh and hip, grabbing onto the back of her neck and her shoulder. "Nnngh…" Both of their breathing becomes slightly erratic, and the look they share is oddly serious as Edelgard rocks again, this time with Byleth pressing up with her leg, giving the emperor even more precious friction.
"You're driving me insane," Byleth pants, dropping her forehead against her fiancee's. Edelgard can't even say anything else, too busy appreciating Byleth's muscles on her arms and legs to think of actual words. The older woman can only stare at the emperor as her lips part again and again, with her eyes hardly able to stay open, and she looks down to watch Edelgard rock, which grows harder every few seconds. An animalistic groan peels out of Byleth's throat when Edelgard purposefully tugs at the back of her indigo hair so as to look her in the eye again. There's this begging look in Edelgard's eyes that Byleth never thought she'd see.
Byleth can't control herself when the urge hits her.
The teacher puts both of her hands under Edelgard's thighs and lifts her up, using her back to shove the door open, slamming it into the wall accidentally.
MRW!
"Out!" Byleth shouts overly loud. "Shit. Sorry, kitty. Wait!" The cat flies out, whining angrily. "Sorry!" Byleth says again before kicking the door closed. Edelgard just chuckles, busying herself by kissing the teacher's face again, something she really enjoys doing as of late. "Are you happy?" Byleth shoves Edelgard down on the bed, not bothering to light a candle or get rid of either of their boots before pushing them further up the bed atop the comforter. "You made me officially lose my cool."
"I truly have succeeded in all aspects of my life now," Edelgard laughs, growing a lot less cocky when Byleth scoots down enough for her mound, through her shorts, to line up with Edelgard's clitoris and grind down. "Unghh. Yesss," Edelgard whines, her head falling back against the pillow, bearing her throat to her lover.
"Only over the clothes," Byleth insists, gritting her teeth to hold herself back from biting down on Edelgard's neck hard enough to leave a bruise that everyone can see. "You're so hot. You're so perfect. You're so mine," Byleth half-cries half-moans as she buries her fingers into the comforter and slams her pelvis into the emperor's.
"Y-Yours," Edelgard cries out, not sure what to do with her hands except grab onto the back of Byleth's arms for dear life. Her thighs tremble as she's dryly fucked, something she never really thought would be happening. Everytime she imagined Byleth in the past, she only imagined her to be gentle; the fact that she isn't gentle… Edelgard gets so much hotter thinking about more to come. "Ungh, my love. I-I may well cum from just–just this!" A flash of heat zips through Byleth's veins and she bites on Edelgard's breast through the dress and bindings, getting a serious yelp out of the younger woman.
"Who taught you words like that?" Byleth asks breathlessly, focusing solely on Edelgard's pleasure. It hurts to do this a little, but Byleth doesn't care if she ends up bruised by the morning light because this is way more than she thought she would ever be getting with the beautiful emperor she's harbored such deep rooted feelings for since years ago.
"Books."
"What kind of books are you reading?" Byleth chuckles, leaning down to bite at a nipple that's hard enough to be poking and fighting against the dress's material. Edelgard whines out, her feet naturally lifting off the bed and wrapping around the teacher's gyrating hips.
"And where did you learn to do this?" Edelgard huffs, her head leaning back even further.
"My pillow taught me on a cold morning," Byleth says, cracking a great big smile when Edelgard laughs up at the ceiling. "I suspect you don't get to do this yourself very often." Edelgard sighs in bliss, using her legs to push Byleth down harder as her own hips jerk up with each thrust.
"No."
"Well, I can do it for you," Byleth says, twisting her pelvis so her hip bone is what's ramming into the emperor. Edelgard shouts in pleasant surprise, her nails digging into Byleth the closer she gets. Neither of them say much else as Edelgard now attempts to quiet herself, biting down on her lip just hard enough to not let it bleed or bruise. Byleth watches in utter awe, a ton of thoughts running through her head as she comes to terms with this being real. Her body moves on its own, as does Edelgard's, and soon–
"Hah!"
Soon–
"Kkh-nngh~!" Edelgard cums with her forearm thrown over her mouth and her eyes half-way shut. The woman's entire body arches up perfectly, her breasts begging for Byleth to touch them as they bounce when she collapses back onto the bed. Byleth stares, wide-eyed and in disbelief at how utterly gorgeous her fiancee looks as her tense body relaxes. "That… was incredible," Edelgard unabashedly praises, dropping her legs from Byleth's hips. The mercenary looks down at where they fell, and then to where her hip is, still pressed between Edelgard's thighs, completely wrinkling her dress that's smashed around her hips.
"We… definitely just had sex," Byleth sighs. She's feeling a lot of mixed emotions right now. With a great huff, the teacher flops down, dropping her chin between Edelgard's breasts as she looks up at her.
"I would not quite call it sex, but you did bring me pleasure."
"And I'm glad for that," Byleth insists with a loopy grin, "Like I said before I just wanted to wait for… Whatever. It was stupid anyway." Edelgard's post-orgasm lightness sobers up and she sits, forcing Byleth off of her, but not from between her legs.
"Do you regret what we just did?" Edelgard asks, looking almost nauseated. "I would have never–I pushed you, didn't I? How awful of me," she angrily mumbles, digging her fingers into the sheets. At her rapidly soiling mood, Byleth reacts quickly.
"No, I don't regret it! I loved doing that, it's just I didn't want you to regret it."
"Byleth, I came from merely your hip," Edelgard states without the hint of a grin, "I am pretty sure that anything we did would have made me–I have daydreamed about the day you ask me to marry you for six years." Byleth's head tips forward in shy surprise. "I have needs, and I… often used this night to fuel my most… fulfilling… nights alone." Edelgard groans once the words are out, even if she earnestly means it all. She never talks about masturbation or anything of the sort. She's trying to be brave.
"That's so hottt," Byleth whines loudly, her body curling in on itself as she tries to hide her turned on expression. "You really–about me? I–Nngh," she yips, covering her entire face with one hand. "Erghhh." Edelgard sniffs out a laugh, leaning her chin on the back of Byleth's trembling head.
"I am glad you think so. That was perhaps one of the hardest things I have ever said."
"Well I'm happy you did. But now you really need to get out of this room before I fuck you for the rest of the night."
"Ungh, that is not a good deterrent," Edelgard heaves.
"You've got that meeting with Deridu's whatever's in the morning." Byleth leans back, a burning fire in her eyes. "I'm not about to let you go to sleep if you're in here, and then you'll embarrass yourself in front of them and Hubert will be upset and kill us both and–"
"-Damn it all," Edelgard sighs, her fingers getting lost in blue hair as she kisses Byleth hard. "You are right and I hate that you are."
"Don't worry," Byleth chuckles, kissing Edelgard back. "I've got a feeling that tomorrow night is the night. Don't you think?"
"I want that to be now," the emperor complains weakly, kissing Byleth yet again. Everytime they kiss, it's like staring the lion in the mouth. "You make me so weak." A shot of arousal pierces Byleth's loins and she squeezes her thighs together obviously. Edelgard bites on Byleth's lip, pulling away and off the bed afterwards. The teacher tries to prolong it, leaning over the side of the mattress before Edelgard pushes her back by her chest. "It seems I can be boastful and leave you with the thought of me as you…" Byleth nods deliriously, finally working to kick off her boots.
"We'll have a good time tomorrow," Byleth promises again, tossing her boots away and then reaching for the hem of her shorts. Edelgard's entire body fights the idea of stepping out, caught just blatantly staring at Byleth's legs in those intricate stockings she's always wanted to touch and tug until they ripped apart and she could peel those shorts down to–
"Bye," Edelgard squeaks, flying out the room and slamming the door shut. From where she is she can hear the bed creak slightly as Byleth moves around to throw her clothes off of her body. The emperor, even as a little girl, always respected people's privacy, never once listening in to a conversation between friends or siblings. As a woman, she does the same, understanding that privacy is a fickle thing so many others lack control to respect. Right now… privacy is something she just can't allow. She steps away from the door, pressing her back against the stone surrounding it, her head turned so that one ear is aligned with the crack in the door.
She can faintly hear Byleth breathing, picks up the bed springs creaking, and believes she can hear the slightest squishy noise that could only be the sound of arousal being smeared around. Her jaw drops and her eyes grow heavy like they did when she came. She has to ball up her fists to stop herself from bursting into the room again, knowing full-well that the door isn't locked. In her mindseye, she sees Byleth on her back, her shirt probably still on, playing with one hand between her legs, rubbing violently at her own clitoris. Her hips are probably bouncing off the bed, on and off, her head tipped back as she clenches her teeth and thinks about Edelgard.
The teacher moans, her voice a higher pitch than Edelgard has ever heard it. The younger woman immediately slaps a hand over her mouth, nearly having let go of a moan herself. She stays deathly quiet as Byleth moans again, somehow needier.
Edelgard wonders if she likes fingering herself, if she'd want Edelgard's fingers inside of her, filling her up and curling them so they'd rub ruthlessly against Byleth's g-spot. She wonders if Byleth likes her nipples being tugged on, licked, bit, anything, because Edelgard has always craved them. Soon she feels herself growing impossibly wetter, adding to the mess already between her thighs, surely staining her underwear beyond repair. Edelgard bites on her glove between her thumb and her forefinger, and she fights with all of her might not to let her other hand, wrapped around one thigh, from touching herself. Listening to Byleth is one thing, especially out in the open like this, but to touch herself, she can't do that to Byleth without her knowing explicitly that that was her intention. She already feels guilty enough, and that itch of wrongness burns her back and threatens to have her running away at any second.
Then something completely cracks Edelgard's mind open.
"Ah-hhh! Fuck, Edelgard."
"FF–" Edelgard covers her mouth with both hands, her entire body covered in goosebumps.
"Ah–nnngh–!"
She is so vocal, Edelgard thinks in bliss, I never thought she would be. Perfect. She is perfect.
The clicking noise gets louder through the door, as do Byleth's panting breaths for nearly two minutes before she cracks, crying out,
"El, nn! Edelgard–" The woman sucks in a massive breath at the end, surely cumming hard as the bedframe shakes. The emperor doesn't have the strength to stand around and listen further, instead, sprinting to her own bedroom and slamming the door, locking it swiftly. She kicks her boots against the opposite wall of the door in a mad rush before pulling her ruined tights and underwear off and dropping to the floor next to her desk chair. She uses her teeth to peel off her glove and pushes past the hem of her dress, sinking her fingers into her sublimely wet entrance in one go.
"Byleth," she sings, splintering the wood of the chair's back under her hand as she fingers herself open, pretending that it's her teacher and not her own hand that pales in comparison. She remembers the way Byleth moans, the way she breathed, and she picks up the pace, grinding down on the floor against her palm like an animal in heat. Usually, giving love to her own body is a chore, something she feels disgusting doing. Right now though, she doesn't think about any of that, just Byleth. Just her finacee. Just the love of her life. Just– "MMH! Khh, ungh, Byleth!" she shouts, dropping her face roughly against the seat.
She grinds it out, trying to push her fingers as deep as they can possibly go just imagining how much better Byleth's hand will feel, how much thicker and longer her fingers are in comparison to her own short and slender ones.
"I want you to fuck me," she groans, mouth and nose smashed against the seat cushion as she pants and drools. "Byleth, I need you. Ah!" Her orgasm ripples through her entire body, choking her up and blocking any sound from leaving her throat as she sits there, knees digging into the ground, legs spread open, her vagina pulsating around her fingers.
She's pleased with how exhausted she is before she hears something like footsteps in the hall.
Something about them seems calm, familiar, safe… Byleth! Not caring about her lack of tights or her uncovered sex coated hand, Edelgard swings the door open, having to catch a ramhorn that came loose as she looks down the hallway towards the exit. She catches the back of a retreating shadow, more specifically, indigo hair and a cape. Knowing that the emperor is looking, Byleth slowly comes to a halt and looks over her shoulder enough for them to lock eyes. Even in the dark, Edelgard can see the smirk on the teacher's face and the glint in her eyes before she hurries down the steps and to her own room.
The emperor can't help but gulp.