James's nose felt like paper mache that someone had inexpertly slapped onto his face, but at least it wasn't bleeding anymore. There was still blood on his chin and collar, he noticed absently. He didn't dare look at her straight on for fear of laughing, but out of the corner of his eye, he could see Lily's right hand on the chair, the knuckles red and already swollen. A large chunk of skin was missing from one knuckle, a souvenir from his tooth, which he now held in the palm of his hand. It was still bleeding a little. She flexed her hand absently, making a fist and then slowly releasing the fingers, and he wanted to tell her to put ice on it or essence of myrtle. He'd punched Sirius enough times to know how much it could hurt, but he knew the suggestion would probably only serve to get him a black eye to go with his mangled nose and missing tooth.

Meanwhile, Professor McGonagall was pacing in agitation behind her desk. It was a familiar welcome-back-to-Hogwarts scene to James, who had somehow always managed to get at least one detention within the first week of school, but usually with Sirius by his side rather than Lily.

McGonagall stopped pacing and placed both of her hands on the desk for support, eyeing James and then Lily over the rim of her glasses critically. Her lips were pressed firmly together in a thin line on her face, and James hadn't seen her this angry in some time.

"What am I going to do with you two? You're Head Boy and Girl, in case you've forgotten. Brawling! Like a couple of buffoons!"

James held up a finger. "Wasn't brawling so much as Lily sucker-punching me."

Air whistled through the space where his tooth should have been as he said the letter S, and both women glared at him. McGonagall continued as though James hadn't spoken.

"And you're both Gryffindors! You should know better. Do you know how long it's been since both Heads came from the same house? I could not have been prouder when Dumbledore told me who he had chosen, though I did have my misgivings…" She looked pointedly at James, and it was clear that all her misgivings were about him.

"But Dumbledore assured me that you were both more than capable of handling the duties. 'But he's too much of a trouble maker', I said. 'He'll be breaking the rules more than upholding them.' But no, Dumbledore said 'James is exactly the type of person we need in these times. He'll be the kind of leader the students need.'"

She imitated this conversation dryly. "And the first second you're off the train…! I'm sure the other students were as shocked as I was at your behavior. They're not used to seeing the Head Boy and Girl in a fist fight.", she finished, her anger growing.

"They're probably not used to seeing the Head Girl be entirely bald either, ma'am," Lily responded, and McGonagall's lip twitched like she wanted to laugh in spite of herself as she looked at Lily, who was indeed completely bald at the moment. The skin of her head was shining in the light of the office. If James's heart hadn't already imploded with unrequited love for Lily, this moment would have done it. She'd said the right thing at the right time, and somehow her cheek had brought McGonagall to laughter, rather than anger. It was something he never could have managed.

McGonagall sat down in her chair, still holding back the smile, pulling a tin of shortbread cookies from the top of her desk and offering it to both of them. James raised his palm that was holding his tooth and opened his mouth to say that he couldn't eat one, but then McGonagall burst out laughing in earnest at the gaping hole between his front tooth and the next, and he decided it was best to say nothing.

She sighed, taking in the sorry sight of both of them. "Alright. Tell me what on earth you could have been thinking."

Earlier that day.

James was standing with Sirius on the train platform, waiting for the Hogwarts Express to arrive and something was wrong. Off. Everywhere the families were huddled in tight groups. Mothers were running their hands through their children's hair protectively, impulsively bending to kiss them on the cheek, to tighten their scarfs, smooth out wrinkles that didn't exist like they might never get another chance. There was no laughter, no joy. The excitement in the air around the arrival of the train was gone, replaced by naked anxiety, almost fear.

James had spent the summer playing quidditch with Sirius in the backyard, eating the food his mother was always happy to make for them. He had seen the newspaper—the deaths and the disappearances, and he'd heard his mother talking with her friends, always in worried whispers. Despite the fact that Sirius had his own flat, paid for with gold from a benevolent uncle, he'd spent every weekend of the summer at the Potters. James's mother had said she'd taken one look at the inside of Sirius's flat and that was all it took. But James wondered now if it wasn't more than that, and if she'd genuinely feared for his safety, the way all the mothers on the platform were worrying over their children now. As though she'd thought Sirius might be in actual danger because he'd abandoned his family, and not just in danger of receiving a dung bomb from Regulus.

But James was only 17, and none of it had connected to him or his life, none of it had been real. Until this moment.

Sheltered, he thought to himself, standing, waiting for the train. He'd been sheltered. For the first time, it bothered him. His own mother had already left. She'd said her goodbyes to the boys quickly and was gone, making them both bend so she could give a hurried kiss to each. It was a new feeling for James, bending to kiss his mother. Until the summer before, they'd been at eye level. Now he towered above her. Sirius, too.

James wondered now if she was scared to stay longer. The fact that she was becoming old bothered him deeply. The thought itself was distressing as it flashed across his consciousness. She was fragile now. His parents had tried for so long to have children unsuccessfully that they were far older than the other parents in his class. Something could so easily happen to her. To any of them, really. No wonder she had left so quickly. He felt fiercely protective of her.

And they had it easy, he knew. Purebloods. No danger, not like the muggle-borns…

A girl that James recognized but didn't know—maybe a third year?—was sobbing, grasping onto her mother's cloak. The thought occurred to him again that it was wrong; people everywhere paralyzed by the fear of what might happen to them and their loved ones. The deaths, the disappearances, the injustices calmly reported, passing across the country from house to house, always in the dark shadows. And no one seemed to be doing anything about it. Why weren't they all acting as one against the threat?

He wished, for perhaps the thousandth time, for his father: to see that happy smile, feel the calm strength in his pat on the back, and the reassurance that everything was going to be fine. James knew his father wouldn't have let any of this happen, not without a fight.

But he father was gone. Illness, old age. Mortal, just like everyone else.

It had been six months since his death, and some of the pain had gone, but not enough. James felt weary and alone all of a sudden, and unprepared to be in charge: in charge of his household—in charge of the other students. What could Dumbledore have been thinking, giving him the badge?

"Everyone is so on edge," James said, looking around, feeling stupid and naïve. His shoulders seemed to slump in the dour atmosphere.

Sirius nodded with a grim expression on his handsome face. His gray eyes were thoughtful, but he didn't share any of James's surprise. Life with his family had prepared him for the dark reality of their times. "There were attacks yesterday morning. Muggle-borns."

Involuntarily, James looked through the people waiting for the train to the spot where he knew that Lily Evans was waiting with her Muggle father.

"Wasn't anywhere near Evans," Sirius added, looking amused, and James whipped his head around away from her direction.

"Who said anything about Evans?"

Sirius gave him a knowing look, but shrugged a moment later, already bored with the topic. He'd had all summer to give James grief about the redhead.

And James had had all summer to think about the new Head Girl, about the strange luck that had thrown them together. He'd lied and told Sirius that he didn't know who the Head Girl was, that the letter didn't say, but that was mostly preemptive defense; he was well aware of how many jokes Sirius could invent revolving around the word "Head".

It was his chance, he thought to himself, maybe his only chance. He'd planned out his meeting today with Lily a thousand times over the summer, and the conversation he'd planned was guaranteed to show her how mature and humble he'd become. And he knew that Lily would fall for it like a ton of gold Galleons; who could resist? It was fool-proof.

But not Sirius-proof, as it turned out.

"How many?" James asked, looking at the families around him again, wondering grimly how many would be gone by this time next year. How many more homes would be ripped apart?

"Two families," Sirius said succinctly. "I guess someone was trying to send a message."

"What message? Not to come here? Not to send their children to Hogwarts? There's no—that's absurd!" It baffled James, this obsession with blood. It was another naïve thought, but this time he didn't recognize it. He was a pureblood, blinded by the protection of his status. But the idea that muggle-borns were somehow less than human—it was incomprehensible. It was the Death Eaters who were filth, especially their leader, the one who was behind all of it: the one who no one could mention. It was them, the people using the Dark Arts who needed to be stopped and stamped out, not muggle-borns.

"My mother had something to say about it, of course. Education should be for purebloods only. What a charming woman." Sirius's tone was ironic, but James knew him well enough to see the anger and the deep shame behind it.

Anger rose up in him too, and he clenched his jaw, feeling a helpless rage. How could anyone look at these children, alight with nerves and excitement, and feel anything but joy. Or pride. Or nostalgia. How could anyone look at children and feel hatred? He'd seen what Sirius's mother had written. It'd angered him then; he couldn't imagine what it was doing to Sirius. But none of it was apparent on Sirius's face. Whatever he was feeling, he held it deep, deep within.

The train arrived on squeaking wheels, steam hissing and whistle blowing. Despite his bleak thoughts, James felt a familiar jolt of excitement at the idea of his last year at Hogwarts and the bustling activity of the castle, the familiar faces, food whenever he wanted it, the house competition, and quidditch. James grinned fondly at the sight of the scarlet engine, dark thoughts hidden again for the moment. He could see that Sirius's lips were curved in a smile too, and he elbowed him lightly.

"Come on. Let's find a compartment before I have to meet with the Prefects."

They stowed their trunks and walked down the aisle, looking for seats. Congratulations and thumps on the back followed James as he greeted friends and classmates. Younger students jumped out of the way in reverence or fear, and Sirius threw him a sardonic glance over his shoulder.

"Couldn't wait to get that badge on, could you."

"I have to let the Slytherins know who's in charge this year, don't I?" James said, shooting a menacing look at some 3rd year Slytherins as he said it. He was only half joking. The death-eaters-in-making, the ones who cursed muggle-borns in the corridors between classes thinking they could get away with it: all of them were in for a rude awakening, James thought.

Sirius's mocking tone was replaced by bright joy. "Please let us run into Snivellus," he said, like a prayer. "I can't wait to see the little slimeball's face once he sees that you're Head Boy." Sirius smiled in quiet satisfaction. It was a nasty smile: a smile of retaliation for what his family said publically, for the state of things, for everything he had no control over. That was what Snape would be to Sirius this year.

They walked into an empty compartment and Sirius sat down, lounging on the seat. His long legs were propped against the seat across from him and James could tell by the smile that he was still thinking of ways to torment Snape.

"Congrats, Prongs!" Remus Lupin said from the doorway, looking happy. Peter, a head shorter, was just behind him. "I'm just relieved it wasn't me. Maybe you'll have better luck keeping yourself in line," Lupin said, laughing. Peter shook James's hand, echoing Lupin's congratulations.

"Those Slytherins: Mulciber, Avery, they're all up at the front. I heard them talking about jinxing first years," Peter said, looking worriedly from James to Sirius to Lupin.

"I'd like to see them try," he said menacingly. With his dark mood, he was more than happy to deal with them. He'd jinx them on his way to the Prefects compartment with Lupin, once the train started moving again. Preemptively, if necessary, just to show them what he thought of them. But for now, just for a few minutes, he was happy to enjoy the company of his friends, with all thoughts of the dark times and the deaths and what was to come in the future far from his mind. Peter was laughing and laughing as Sirius recounted stories of his exploits with his dim-witted landlord over the summer. Lupin was smiling in spite of himself, looking tired but happy to be among his friends. James knew that it couldn't have been easy for Lupin over the summer, and so he was silently relieved to see his friend safe again, in one piece, and on the way to Hogwarts. When would the moon be full again? When would their next adventure be?

As Sirius and Peter started a game of exploding snap, James put on his robes, trying not to look too eager to start his duties. He knew Sirius would laugh at him if he looked like he cared too much about his new position. But really, it was nice—the power that the position afforded him. He knew he couldn't really abuse it; Dumbledore would never allow that, and more than anything, he didn't want to disappoint Dumbledore. But still, this was his first time in charge of the other students and he planned to enjoy himself. And maybe catch a moment alone with Lily to talk, wherever she was.

"How are those Slytherins looking?" Sirius asked as James re-entered the compartment. The train was about to arrive at the school. James was just grateful that Sirius had forgotten to ask who the Head Girl was. There was no way he could pretend he didn't know now.

"Not so hot, to tell you the truth. I don't think they'll be jinxing anyone anytime soon. Had to help Snivellus wash his hair, too. Dirty git."

Sirius barked a laugh in approval, and the train began to slow. James's heart, on the other hand, was picking up speed. This was it.

Lily had been there in the Prefects' compartment, and her hair was longer than he'd remembered. Indeed, she'd done almost all of the talking, but there hadn't been any time to interact with her. No time for a personal conversation. Their instructions to the younger students hadn't taken more than a few minutes, and then she had strolled out, giving him nothing more than a polite nod as she passed.

If she'd been patrolling the train corridors too, he hadn't seen her, though of course he'd been busy with Mulciber and the others, coming back from patrolling every so often for a chocolate frog or a pumpkin pasty with his friends.

But he knew that it was the Heads' job to gather together the first years and send them on their way to Hagrid and the lake. The two of them would be some of the last students to leave for the castle, and he would have a whole carriage ride back with her. It would be the first time that he'd really talked her in months, the first time since he'd been made Head Boy. He resisted the urge to run his hand the wrong way through his hair as they stepped off the train. Don't be a prat, he thought to himself over and over, like a mantra.

"I can't wait to see who the poor Head Girl is who has to work with you, Prongs," Sirius said, grinning wickedly. So much for forgetting.

"First years, this way," he called, ignoring Sirius. "Just go toward that big bloke; you can't miss him." He was half-heartedly helping first years but mostly looking for Lily and trying to look nonchalant, handsome, and in-charge. "First years!" he called again, ushering a tiny student toward Hagrid, who was waving by the end of the train, even at a distance looking much larger than any man should.

And then James saw her with her hand on the shoulder of a small boy. She was smiling kindly and pointing him toward the end of the train. He noticed for the second time that her hair was longer than it had been last term, and she looked paler than he remembered. As Lily looked up, he saw the resigned and wary smile form across her face at the sight of him leading first years to Hagrid and he started to smile back.

Sirius punched him hard on his shoulder. "It's Evans," he hissed with glee. "You liar. You knew the whole time it was Evans."

"Shut up," James said through his teeth, his shoulder smarting, painfully aware that Lily was close enough now to hear everything they said and that whatever Sirius was about to come up with would be deeply inappropriate. Maybe it had been a mistake to keep the information from him.

"Oh, are you afraid she's going to put you in detention?" Sirius asked loudly, laughing and moving deftly out of James's reach so that he was almost directly behind Lily where she couldn't see him. He pointed at James and mimed ruffling his hair, doing a cruel but accurate impression. James's fist clenched, and he reached for his wand from inside his robe, wanting to hex that stupid smile right off his friend's face, his temper boiling at Sirius for ruining this moment.

"Why, what's he done now?" Lily asked with suspicion, all signs of a smile gone from her face as her eyes narrowed dangerously.

"Just jinxed some Slytherins. But don't worry, they definitely deserved it." Sirius pretended to be solemn as he said it, but his laughing eyes gave it away.

"What? When? On the train?" Lily exclaimed angrily, turning her head briefly to look at Sirius behind her before rounding on James. "You're Head Boy!"

"I—" James opened his mouth to defend himself, but Sirius cut him off.

"Evans, I think he deserves a detention. You should give him Head…Boy instructions. Teach him what's what." The pause was subtle, but James caught it. Not subtle was the lewd act that Sirius mimed behind Lily's back, and James blushed, finally losing his temper with Sirius, who was clearly laughing at James and his discomfort, reveling in the mischief he was making.

"I can't believe you," Lily said, disappointment written clearly across her face, but James, who was in the middle of sending a silent jinx toward Sirius with a swish of his wand at his side, barely heard her.

Sirius had known James for far too long to be surprised by his reaction, and he deflected the spell with a lazy flick of his wrist, accidentally bouncing it right into the back of Lily's head, which was suddenly shiny and totally hairless. The spell, which was meant to get back at Sirius for his jab about James's hair, had made Lily completely, 100% bald.

Sirius let out a guff of surprised laughter and then within moments he was doubled over with the force of the laughter. James stared, horror stricken. Had it been anyone except Lily, James would have been bent over in stitches as well. But as it was, he let out only a small chuckle of nervous laughter, regretting it immediately as Lily felt the top of her head and then turned on him, inarticulate with rage. Peter was laughing now too at Sirius's side, and more people were turning to look at the commotion. The laughter around them grew.

It was funny, in a grotesque sort of way. Lily, seeing her reflection in the windows of the train, turned a murderous shade of red. She was slowly shaking her head back and forth as though searching for something bad enough to say to him. James held both his hands up, but he couldn't hold back the wild urge to laugh. Against his will, the laughter poured out. Seeing his laughter, with two swift steps she closed the distance between them, her fist connecting squarely with James's nose and mouth. He felt a burst of pain and staggered, falling backwards over his own feet. His eyes watered uncontrollably with the pain, and he spit out his front tooth into his hand, the blood everywhere and messy.

Lily was still angry, but she became distracted by the pain in her hand. She'd never hit anyone before, and she shook her fingers, trying to regain feeling. She looked slightly taken aback with herself. "Ow! I—you—"

"She knocked your tooth out, Prongs!" Sirius was still laughing as he said it, and Lily turned to him, this time clear headed enough to use magic, pulling out her wand and pointing it at his chest. Sirius's eyes widened briefly in shock and a little fear, but then he smiled slowly, the laughter lighting up his handsome features.

"Go ahead, Evans."

There was a very long pause as Lily contemplated his smile. The small crowd around them waited in anticipation. Her own expression was unreadable. She was still bald, red with exertion and anger, but slowly, she smiled back. "You're not worth it, Black" she said condescendingly, lowering her wand. His smile only grew in response. But before he could say anything, a figure pushed to the center where they stood.

"What is going on here?" McGonagall asked in outrage, arriving to the scene. It was a note of the times that the teachers were there at Hogsmeade when the students arrived, rather than waiting up at the castle, making sure everyone arrived safely.

She looked from James, who had just scrambled to his feet, face covered in blood, to Lily, whose face changed quickly to a look of chagrin, her fist obviously the cause of James's injury.

"Everyone else, make their way to the carriages," she said in a voice that carried. The students reluctantly began to leave the scene, including Sirius. "You two." She pointed at James and Lily, looking grim. "Come with me."

"Professor, it was me. It was all my fault," James said hurriedly, trying to finish before Lily could say anything. "I know I shouldn't have cast that jinx. It was just Sirius—he—well…Anyway, I deserve full punishment. Whatever you think is necessary. I should have known better as Head Boy, and this is the last time you'll find me in a situation like this. But Evans, Lily—she didn't do anything. The spell rebounded and hit her. She was just in the wrong place." James hoped his conciliatory tone would do the trick. He put on his most innocent expression. He'd found that he couldn't look at Lily without bursting into laughter, so he stared straight ahead at McGonagall, who did not look impressed.

"And I suppose you hit yourself in the face, did you? No, you'll both have to serve detention for this. Saturday morning. This was deeply inappropriate behavior for the Head Boy and Girl, no matter what Sirius Black did to provoke you," she said, looking at James knowingly. "And next time, it will be your badge, understood?" She looked stern, and they both nodded quickly.

"Yes ma'am," Lily said quietly. "It won't happen again."

McGonagall was brisk now. "Both of you head to the hospital wing for your injuries." She looked from Lily's hand to James's tooth, a twitch in her expression again. "No doubt you'll be mended with enough time to rejoin the feast. I expect you to help the Prefects when the feast is finished."

Leaving the hospital wing, Lily was several paces in front of him. She hadn't said a single word to him. Hadn't even looked at him. And he knew it wasn't because she wanted to laugh at the sight of him. Of all the many scenarios he'd imagined, none of them had ended so poorly. James jogged a few steps forward to catch up with her.

"Listen, Lily—"

She whirled around to face him, hands on her hips, her hair long and red again on her head. "I really am sorry. I didn't mean for that to happen. Padfoot—you couldn't see him, but he deserved it. He—"

"I can imagine, Potter," she interrupted, rolling her eyes, but she looked a little less angry knowing that he had been trying to defend her, not jinx her on purpose.

She gave James an appraising look as they walked. "I don't know what Dumbledore was thinking, making you Head Boy." Her tone was serious and thoughtful. At this moment, James wholeheartedly agreed. "But the students need someone they can respect. Who respects them. It's bad enough for them at home, with what's happening out in the world…they don't need to be bullied here, too." She looked upset, worried, and James felt guilt pool in the pit of his stomach at the idea that he would make life worse for the students who were already struggling.

"I know. I'm going to do my best. I want them to feel safe here. Everyone deserves that. I won't let them be bullied. Those Slytherins on the train-they were going to pick on first years half their size. It wasn't fair. That's the only reason I jinxed them."

Not totally true; he thought. He'd jinxed them because they were death eaters in the making, but he wasn't going to tell her that.

A sad smile played at her lips. She seemed to be contemplating the idea of James, of all people, protecting others from bullies. "I still don't think it was right," she said. "But, I do understand your urge to do it. But there are other ways to make a point, you know." He nodded seriously, and she looked slightly mollified.

"I really did mean it when I said I was sorry," he said earnestly. "I didn't mean for you to get detention, or to make you look bad, or for you to hurt your hand." Or any of it. What an ass he'd made of himself.

Lily let out a surprised laugh. "You're sorry I hurt my hand? Punching you in the face?"

James smiled at the sound of her laughter, and she laughed again. He wished that this was how it had been from the start. He loved the sound of her laughter, loved the way it lit up her eyes. "Look, I'm sorry I lost my temper. I've never hit anyone before. That wasn't very kind of me. I deserve that detention as much as you do. With everything that's going on, I guess I was just a little wound up today. After what happened to those families yesterday…" She trailed off, looking both remorseful and deeply sad, and he wanted to say that he understood, that he felt the same way too, but he didn't know how. He couldn't find the right words; the conversation with her that he'd planned in his imagination was totally useless. It'd been shallow. Nothing like this.

They walked in silence, but after a moment her expression shifted, and she looked at him, eyes glinting playfully. "Although, it was pretty satisfying, I have to admit. Punching you." She looked down, flexing her newly mended hand. "I've wanted to do that for about 5 years." She was grinning as she said it, her green eyes laughing. She was teasing him now, and they'd reached the doors to the great hall.

"Maybe not in the face, next time?"

She turned to open the doors, but threw him a glance over her shoulder as she walked in. "I can't make any promises. See you in detention, Potter."