"You thought I was going to sleep with one of you? Like I just couldn't help it?"
"It was me, Jess. I couldn't help it."
(Jess and Nick, 2x17 "Parking Spot")

"Where's your key?"
"I don't carry a key."
(Jess and Nick, 3x01 "All In")

Not going to regret this, not going to regret this. Ha! Sure. She hadn't even moved in yet and Nick was already regretting it. He should've said something when they were discussing it, but he was always so bad with confrontation. He hated taking sides and the fact that they were putting all that pressure on him like that made him forget about what he was actually feeling.

Maybe it wouldn't be so bad. Maybe Schmidt was right and having a feminine presence around would be nice. Nick did miss Caroline's soft blankets or the smell of her shampoo or when she folded his shirts for him… not that this girl was going to fold his shirts. But the point was that he enjoyed some of the more girly things about her.

His thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door. Nick furrowed his brow. He couldn't imagine who would possibly be visiting in the middle of the day with both Coach and Schmidt at work. He definitely wasn't expecting anyone. Perhaps it was a delivery or someone who got the wrong address.

Nick pulled himself off the couch, dragged himself over to the door, and pulled it open. To his surprise, their soon-to-be roommate stood there in a bright purple cardigan and flowered sun dress, grinning from behind a pair of thick-rimed glasses. "Oh hi!" she greeted him, "Nick, right? Schmidt said you'd be home right now. He said I could pick up my key today."

"Oh, uhh…" Nick really wished Schmidt would communicate these things to him. "You're moving in tomorrow, right?"

"Yeah."

"Did you uh… need help or anything?" He mentally kicked himself. Need help. He could barely lift a cereal box.

"Oh no. Most of my stuff is still at… at Speenceer's so I only have a couple boxes," she replied, rocking back and forth, avoiding his eyes.

Nick furrowed his brow. "Why did you say Spencer like that?"

She sighed heavily. "It's just hard for me to say his name after what happened."

Nick scrunched his face in bewilderment and slight amusement.

She looked affronted. "What? Don't you have a hard time saying your ex's name?"

"I don't usually talk about my ex with people I don't really know," Nick replied.

"Ah-ha, so you do have trouble saying her name!" she said, pointing knowingly at him.

"That's not what I said at all," Nick replied, a little affronted, "I just said I didn't want to talk about her."

"Because it's hard."

"No, because I don't know you."

"But it is hard, right?"

Nick didn't answer and just frowned at her. "I'll get your key," he grumbled.

Jess followed him inside and waited by the counter as he began looking around. He wasn't entirely sure where Schmidt put the extra key, so he began rummaging through some of the drawers. Jess stood off to the side, watching.

"So…" she said after a minute, "What do you do for work, Nick?"

"I'm a bartender."

"Oh really? That's fun. So you're really good at making drinks, then?"

Nick shrugged. "I guess. It is my job. Are you good at your job?" he asked somewhat sarcastically.

"I'd like to think so!" she said happily, unaware of his sarcasm, "Although sometimes the kids draw genitals on the board or write "Ms. Day sucks", but I hear they do that to all the teachers, so that may not be because I'm a bad teacher."

Nick repressed a laugh, remembering that he was definitely one of those kids who wrote that kind of thing on the board. "They usually do that stuff to the teachers they like the most," Nick stated.

"Really?" Jess asked, perking up.

"No," Nick immediately said, "They're just stupid kids doing stupid things because they think it's funny."

"How is it funny?"

Now Nick began to laugh a little. "Because, it's penises… on the board. Penises!"

She looked baffled. He waved his hand. "Ah, it's no use trying to explain it to a teacher."

He closed the last drawer without locating a single key. "I can't find your key," he told her, "I'll go look in Schmidt's room."

He walked into Schmidt's room, but he already knew that he wasn't about to go rummaging through anything. Schmidt would have a heart attack if he touched anything and scream about how Nick's filth was all over his mahogany bed frame or something. If that key wasn't just sitting out in the open somewhere, Jess was going home without one.

The room was overly tidy as usual. The bed was impeccably made, the vacuum lines in the carpet were perfectly straight, not a wrinkle in sight, not a speck of dust anywhere, but also no key. Nick sighed and backed out of the room.

He found Jess still in the kitchen. She was playing with Schmidt's spice rack, spinning it around and around, a large smile on her face. When she saw Nick approach, she giggled, still spinning it. "What is this thing?" she asked.

"That's Schmidt's," Nick offered as an explanation. He wasn't entirely sure what it was himself. "It think it holds spices."

"It's so weird," she said in delight. "Also who drinks all the beer?" She gestured to the fridge.

"You looked in our fridge?" Nick asked warily.

"Well I'm gonna live here too," Jess replied, "I just wanted to see what I needed to buy."

Nick was suddenly worried that she was wanting to move all their things out so she could move her things in. He knew how girls were. They disapproved of men and their disgusting habits. He had to cut her off at the pass.

"Are you a big salad eater?" Nick asked, "I've dated those and they always fill the fridge with all their weird vegetables and stuff."

Jess smiled. "Oh no. I mean, I love a good salad, but it's so hard to make it yourself. I'm a grab-n'-go type of person. Hotdogs? Yes please! Anything that fits in one hand!"

Nick smiled a little. So she wasn't trying to overpower them. "We have a lot of frozen pizzas," he said, "We usually share them on Sunday nights."

"Cool!" Jess said happily. She then sang a little song, "Pizza partyyy! Pizza partyyy with friends!"

Nick wasn't entirely sure how to respond so he just nodded.

Jess smiled again. "So are you a pepperoni guy or what?"

"Sure. I love a good pepperoni, but I could always go for a classic combo too."

"Really? With all the vegetables and sausage and stuff?" She asked this with some surprise in her voice.

Nick raised an eyebrow. "What? You're too good for combo pizza?"

"Oh no, I don't mind combo. It's just that you didn't strike me as the type who would like stuff like olives and green peppers on a pizza."

Nick repressed a smirk. "Really? And what type of pizza do you think I would eat?"

Jess leaned back and looked him up and down with a ponderous expression. "Hawaiian."

"Hawaiian!?" Nick repeated, incredulous.

"You give off that salty and sweet vibe."

"Are you out of your mind?"

"What? Don't you like Hawaiian?"

"Absolutely not! I'm from Chicago. We don't speak of such abominations in the pizza capital of the world."

"I thought Italy was the pizza capital of the world."

Nick scoffed. "I don't know what they're teaching in your school, but I'm pretty sure your textbooks got it all wrong. Italy may have invented pizza, but Chicago perfected it."

Jess smirked. "Ohh, I see. Is that a fact?"

"Absolutely," Nick replied with an affirmative nod.

"Well then, I'll be sure to tell my kids that when I go in tomorrow. Thank you for enlightening me."

"Glad to help."

She grinned at him and Nick tweaked a small smile. He looked into her large blue eyes and suddenly found himself getting lost in them.

It was like they were getting bigger and warmer and more inviting. He suddenly felt the urge to step closer to her, place his hands on her face, and just look at her closely. Her cheeks were probably so soft and he could just imagine… He blinked several times, pulling himself out of the weird fantasy he was in.

It was at that moment he realized that he might be in very real danger around this girl. Abort! Abort! She's going to be your ROOMMATE! Bad idea! You cannot be attracted to your ROOMMATE!

"The beer is mine," he finally said.

"Oh," she replied, a little thrown by the statement, "OK."

He cleared his throat and stepped away from her. Even though there was an entire counter between them, he still felt like they were too close. He began to fumble a little, trying to find words. "I um… uh… Yeah. I drink a lot of beer. I get drunk a lot." Why did he say that? "I— no. I drink a lot, but I… uh… That's why there's beer. You asked."

Why was she here again? How did all this start? Key! She wanted a key! His mind was so foggy all of a sudden. Why was this happening?

He reached into his pocket and pulled out his own key. "Um, key," he said.

She looked a little mystified by his sudden weird behavior, but she took it. "Oh, thanks."

Without really thinking, he walked over to the door. "I'll see you tomorrow, I guess."

She looked confused about suddenly getting kicked out, but she took it in stride and followed him. "Alright. Well…" She smiled at him and stuck out her hand. "Until tomorrow, roomie."

Nick nodded, pulling himself together enough to shake her hand. She then gave him a small salute and exited. Nick closed the door behind her and exhaled. Something had to be done!